Dealing with being deformed (face)

halleluiaiaia9292 · 2019-12-22T13:33:46+00:00

When i see people with handicaps (for example drawfs) I always admire the ones who still manage to be extremely confident.

The more you feel this is an issue, the more it will be an issue in your life.

Dont beat yourself so much. You have a successful career and so on, thats already a lot more than a lot of people.

incorrectComments · 2019-12-22T13:34:50+00:00

Have you considered plastic surgery? Earning in the top 10% of your country means you shouldn't have any issues paying for it.

theredsperg · 2019-12-22T13:59:22+00:00

being ugly is one of the most painful things I have dealt with and overcame, you will never be secure in yourself, this is one of those things where I would say leverage your money, at the end of the day you can afford to pay for fuckholes that guys get for free, is there anything wrong with that? no, at the end of the day, being rich is preferable to being attractive to some women. at the end of the day you can provide more safety than mr homeless live with mom.

good luck overcoming ugliness, be the best version of yourself and understand that the world fucks all of us in some way or other

WakeUpAlreadyDude · 2019-12-22T13:44:30+00:00

First, you need to talk to someone about your problems. A real human in the real world. If you’re truly thinking suicidal then call the suicide hotline. They are people who can help you. I’m not sure what country you’re in but every country has one https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines

Second, get some confidence by hitting the gym. Do weights first and aerobics second. That will help how you feel and what you can control looks wise. Make sure you eat right. Avoid sugar, fruit and grains. Eat meat and vegetables, dairy if you tolerate it (no low fat).

Read the sidebar for TRP. Focus on what is positive in your life. Get some help and good luck.

Huntbutt · 2019-12-22T13:18:38+00:00

You're going to have to compensate by being funny as fuck bro.

It won't be easy, but it's your only option.

MisterRoid · 2019-12-22T13:33:59+00:00

Are you deformed for real? You should post a picture. If not feel free to send a PM. Maybe something can be done to improve your face.

xxx69harambe69xxx · 2019-12-22T16:26:45+00:00

[deleted]

Truedemocracy5 · 2019-12-22T15:42:42+00:00

PM me a pic of your face, hard to give advice without knowing if it’s a true deformity or just incel nonsense

HumanRubiksCube · 2019-12-22T15:53:22+00:00

Dude I feel your pain and have been where you are. I know how it sucks. You’re in my prayers for sure. One thing that helped me massively was getting into a gym. Figured if I can’t fix my face I can fix the rest of of me. I made it my focus. Challenged myself. Made lifelong friends in the gym and training buddies and so on. Gym people don’t see looks. We’re all there for self improvement in some shape or form. Remember not one human being on the surface of gods green earth is perfect, so never think you’re imperfect. Keep your head high and your hopes strong. There is greatness inside you if you look deep enough.

xxx69harambe69xxx · 2019-12-22T15:57:29+00:00

Well at least you can call yourself a wizard in 9 years

ACE-JHN · 2019-12-22T16:42:25+00:00

start lifting. If you have an ugly face that's pretty much the only thing you can do

Casd12 · 2019-12-22T17:17:35+00:00

You lift heavy ass weights?

nehardElhidine · 2019-12-22T15:25:12+00:00

If you're truly deformed as you claim to be, then get a plastic surgery.

2019-12-22T15:53:30+00:00

See, incels? There are real incels out there. People with disabilities, people with deformities like this guy. The fact that your jawline isn't perfect and you weren't Fred Trump's 5th son, that's not being an incel, that's being a hopeless loser that needs to be sucked out of the gene pool.

The good news: You're clearly doing well for yourself. You have serious good money apparently. Keep working hard, keep having a good financial life. I understand your pain, I have friends who have disabilities and deformities, they're very nice, very stable guys. They're very quite, but usually hard working and capable. The reality is, and I think you know this, because of your medical condition, you will never rise t o the top of the gene pool. That is almost a purely physical game, and it's hard enough for normal guys, but that's not happening for you. I'm sorry. If you're picturing a Joey Tribbiani, Harvey Spector, Barney Stintson-esque life, that's not going to happen. You seem like a smart guy, I think you get it. We all have our problems in life. You have clearly been dealt a worse hand. Now you can try to bluff your way to further depression, or accept your limitations and work on your strengths. Life is all about playing strengths. You're a smart guy, you know that already. Humans are superficial, idiotic, limited creatures. That's why they're so easy to fool. They don't know your successes. Don't take it to heart.

So while you'll never be on the cover of Vogue, can you live a happy life? Most certainly, absolutely you can. You already seem to have a stable, sorted life for the most part. There are a lot of women who will go for that, and I don't even mean that in a condescending, get yourself a 40 year old single mother who uses you for your money way, I mean that in a, there's a cute 5 out there who watches the Notebook and the Fault in our Stars everyday, she's not very exciting and she's not very hot, but she believes in romance, she's very nice and can cook, and she's waiting to get married to an older, stable man. You still need to have strong frame, you need to know what you want and go after it, so you're not beautiful. What women really want? It's strength and boldness. Strength of character, mental strength, physical strength and capability. If you can show you're a stable guy who can take care of all her needs beyond your looks, you'd be surprised how many women go for it, especially when you make it clear where you're coming in terms of your deformity. The numbers will be lower, but you just need to find 1 or 2, because these girls, girls who like you for your money and personality and look beyond your deformity, will be with you for life. Lose some ego and put out a real personal ad, or use a dating service, maybe even specialised ones. Romantic and yes, sexual bliss, you can still have love, and care, and companianship, and passion.

And my first piece of advice to you is: pay for a hooker. Get over your virgin status. Feel, physical love. Feel good about yourself. You can clearly afford it, and one of the long-standing benefits of safe, legal prostitution is the ability for people like you, effectively shut out of the sexual marketplace, from experiencing the pleasures of the flesh and physical intimacy with, again you'd be surprised, attractive women. Pick a professional with experience in similar cases, pay her decent, and enjoy your 1-2-3 hours of belonging, and pleasure.

Get a consultation for plastic surgery, if its safe and you feel like you'd like the results and this is medically solvable, see what you can do. Plastic surgery is definitely made for people like you, not just attractive people who want a tummy tuck or a boob job.

Really hope you have an actual deformity, and are not a whiny incel troll with low-self esteem. Definitely visit a therapist or mental health professional first, just to feel better. And, you know, have a wank, jerk off, feel better.

Bruchibre · 2019-12-22T14:36:16+00:00

Where do you live? Maybe you could try to move to some country where girls look for something else than aesthetics, like Philippines Indonesia Thailand etc where 18yo girls marry ugly 60yo westerners

recursoinominado · 2019-12-22T15:16:53+00:00

Seems like you need to find a deep meaning in your life, something that you are 100% aligned with, a purpose and go all in. Maybe you are not here to waste time with idle socialization and meaningless sex, maybe you are here to go above all that.

Don't get trapped in the materialist paradigm, life is way more deep and magical than that, search for the Truth, brother.

flyinghorse1 · 2019-12-22T15:25:45+00:00

The most helpful advice will probably come from people in a similar situation (or even worse) situation than you and have worked beyond the issue that you face. They will understand better than anyone what you are going through and they will offer you good advice, rather than just toxic positivity.

LLL3peat · 2019-12-22T15:26:21+00:00

Get a body and work ethic like no one has seen before. Start doing things YOU like as the more things you do and always on the go, people become interested even if you have a deformed face. A beard can help give the illusion of having more symmetry as well. Having it allows me to hide/mask it.

I have one too, but always traveling, exploring cities and the world, and getting under 15% bf changed my world. Start exploring and maximize what you can. More experience means you are interesting.

abomba24 · 2019-12-22T15:48:42+00:00

Hey man I'm sorry life has dealt you this hand. Despite that, reading this I'm already incredibly impressed with what you've accomplished.

Moving forward... It's all about perspective. Even those at the top of society can look to someone still above them and hate their lives. Focus on who you are today and who you want future you to be.

As for ppl judging you immediately - fuck them. You can work to develop a more IDGAF attitude, they're clearly shallow and you shouldn't let it affect you so much.

agsuy · 2019-12-22T15:51:05+00:00

Before going after woman you should improve your social skills.

Seek a hobby, seek people with your interests...

I know a guy relative to a friend of mine who was worn without arms and with just one good leg. (the other is way smaller)

He has done just fine its funny and has a wife and 2 childs. You could always have a life and a family.

Point being made you must work in your inner game.

Something simple like seeking a support group, therapy or anything that could allow you to start social interactions in "friendly" environments will help you a lot. There is nothing wrong with that.

You have an issue. You work to solve it. No excuses. Thats RP mentallity.

Also I would not hurt you to pay for some pussy. That would help a lot too to be used to womans and sex. Again. You have to improve something. You work towards it. No excuses.

Go and say to yourself what you want to change and how you want it to happen. Good luck.

__TheDon__ · 2019-12-22T15:51:38+00:00

Don’t worry about things you can’t control. Work on your physique, make it top tier, and I guarantee that you’ll feel 10x better.

Focus on things you can actually change. That’s all I can see on this topic. Best of luck brother.

VigilantSmartbomb · 2019-12-22T15:53:02+00:00

First, there’s no such thing as a normal life.

We all have things we’re dealing with. Some are noticeable others not.

Stop thinking about it, literally

Integrate yourself why do you want someone to do it for you

Seriously stop thinking about it, you can tell it’s the biggest thing in your life and you haven’t gotten over it, dude even if you didn’t have a face bitches would still suck your dick, or whatever the fuck you got if you didn’t!

It literally doesn’t matter and you’re placing way too much importance on the looks aspect, maybe because you want a looker and haven’t realize there’s so much more to connection.

Stay open, don’t say no, and see where life takes you

EvelynnSpoiler · 2019-12-22T16:09:22+00:00

There's a lot of people who would gladly swap their situation with yours. Be grateful for what you have and things will get better

Andgelyo · 2019-12-22T16:10:03+00:00

The answer is to get some surgery done, if you’re making so much money that would be one of the first things I would ever do.

Infernir · 2019-12-22T16:24:30+00:00

So? Fix your fucking face. You think you get to option out of TRP cause you were born with some disadvantages? LOL. Nah, all this will do is make you a lot more mentally stronger & confident overcoming them. TRP is about making winners, not "Oh time to just accept this is how it is forever and there's nothing I can do to change my circumstances" ers.

Make enough money for the right surgery and to go to the right person who can do it, practice skin care to an extreme, lurk skin care addiction sub

Become the most funny, confident guy around in every situation and practice solid diamond god like frame... you will see, if you have the best frame around it will make you stand out and women will get wet for you more than all the regular beta guys around.

However if you keep thinking shit like this (I can't get sexy women or anyone because i'm too deformed or too short) YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO HAVE PERFECT FRAME. You will never even be able to have good frame, women will sense the lack of confidence and because you wouldn't want to sleep with you they wont want to sleep with you either. Because you care if they sleep with you or not to boost your self esteem they won't want to. The sad thing is this doesn't just apply to you it applies to every single guy alive, this is why TRP stresses self improvement, inner game so much before PUA (or some believe PUA is entirely pointless and dead now in general since women aren't stupid and know all the cheesy BS).

Also... to all the people out there who look perfectly normal or even close to average be thankful and learn from this. STFU and stop bitching about life, focus on your journey, you weren't born a midget, you weren't born with some serious huge facial deformity.

Sylvester_Sterone · 2019-12-22T16:28:30+00:00

What country you live in?

Are we talking about a cleft pallet?

I know the feelings are real and we have all been there. It’s all about your perception.

I Also guarantee that whatever you wish to acquire ( if I had this then I will be happy) will end up with you being unhappy and wanting something else instead. This is human nature. “If only I had abs THEN I would get laid”

Even when you get laid... you just get used to it and You want something MORE.

As people are stating in the comments. Change your thinking. Focus on the positives. Find a passion and focus on the mission.

Hang in there.

NDMagoo · 2019-12-22T16:43:21+00:00

Get in good enough shape, and you will get credit for looking "rugged".

RaidenDark · 2019-12-22T17:02:48+00:00

You need to develop a god-tier level of charisma and confidence.

Develop charisma by studying and practicing it. Develop confidence by doing difficult things and building faith in yourself.

This will not be easy, but buddy you don't have another choice.

Maybe also find a cool-ass mask to wear. Just kidding. That would be cringey and make it even harder to build any confidence. I know you've thought about it. Rock that face. Own it so hard that people can't help but be impressed over how much you don't give a fuck about what you look like. Also realize that when you do manage to make friends and get dates, you'll know for certain those people like you for you.

Heybuddyyyyyy · 2019-12-22T17:04:05+00:00

Be grateful you can walk and can take care of yourself...focus on being grateful. I know people who cant even feed themselves..I know a guy who is a dwarf who is very well respected in my city and married with kids. He is literally a tiny man. His legs are all messed up too he looks like its painful for him to walk. Keep you head up man.

Smuggler-Tuek · 2019-12-22T17:52:56+00:00

If you’re sending pics send me one. I’d like to understand more before I throw in my $0.02.

red2hilt · 2019-12-22T18:13:46+00:00

I thought this was going to be an interesting post because I saw "10%", like is it true someone can be fit as fuck but a small facial deformity causes a lack of success? But unfortunately the 10% wasn't about your bodyfat percentage! It was your earnings.

In my opinion women don't need to know your earnings - just that you can take care of your basic needs. (Don't live in your mom's basement.) Are you trying to attract golddiggers?

So since they shouldn't know what you make, the 10% earnings is irrelevant.

Start dieting and going to the gym, and instead of your earnings percentile start concentrating on your fat percentile.

By the way although I didn't see your pic I think based this might take 2-3 years rather than just 6 months.

Only one way to start. Start making time for the gym. And don't forget that six packs are made in the kitchen.

Source: been reading TRP for a few years.

AJ_KG_JG · 2019-12-22T21:40:41+00:00

If the guy(s) who've seen your picture say you look normal, you're probably projecting some kind of insecurity/etc. that make people think they can get away with mistreating you.

Work on building your self confidence (positive self-talk and imagery, etc.), exercise, get plenty of sleep, learn how to handle people who would try to bully you (Dr. Ben Leichtling is really good here and does phone consultations.)

I've also found the book "Freedom from Fear" by Peyton Quinn to be a good one for people who need to build confidence in themselves and how they interact with others.

FereallyRed · 2019-12-22T22:14:41+00:00

Your face is normal. You have no deformity. You're not a pretty boy or handsome, but few of us are. You just look like a tough guy, more in line with MMA fighters than movie stars. So you need to stop using the word "deformity".

You look like a mid level eastern european mob enforcer. The hoodie and track pants aren't doing you any favors either. But you're just a regular guy.

These kids have deformities...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ST9vj2PAScY&t=277s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44z97i-Ek0Q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwNQqnEYMXw

Your problem is internal, not external.

magnimeelcul · 2019-12-22T22:22:36+00:00

go train bjj or mma like your life depends on it, become a mean motherfucker. that face will scare people but in another way

404ThotNotFound · 2019-12-23T05:53:20+00:00

This shit is not worth killing yourself man, there are people like you but which worse financially you at least got the money part sorted.

somedudesdflkj · 2019-12-23T16:39:19+00:00

Stfu and lift

If you've got the money, have a doc take care of your face. If you had bad acne you'd see a doctor about that, right? Same shit. Grow up.

Andress1 · 2019-12-27T12:13:40+00:00

I'm on a similar position as you, i'm not deformed but i'm ugly. Having at least an average face is extremely important. If you don't no amount of money and game will change that and give you any results. If women don't like your face you will have no chance.

At least you have the income and are not poor, so be grateful for that. If i were you i would definitely try to get surgery and also lift and get the best body you can. You will have to distract the people from watching your face

Trumanblack143 · 2020-03-22T22:42:22+00:00

mind to share pic?

throwing8smokes · 2019-12-22T14:31:00+00:00

This year has been the worst of my life. All of my fears came true. I was deep inside a bottomless pit that I thought I could never get out of. I was nothing. No job, no home, nothing. The darkness in the back of mind that told me I am worthless, that I will never amount to anything, that I should just give up. Just kept getting stronger and stronger. I didn't know what to do. Every step forward I would take, it would bring me two steps back. When I would pay off all of my credit card debt, and I felt good, something would just come to rock the boat and I would run away again.

We can only see how far we've come when the trouble starts. When things are going fine, that is easy. But when your world gets rocked, will you fall on the same crutches you've been relying on your whole life? That just get you deeper and deeper into suffocation?

I was alone. And the voice inside my head told me I would be alone forever and that no one would ever love me. But that voice. That voice isn't you. It wants to kill you. It wants to destroy you. It is your TEST. Such a difficult adversary, such a difficult darkness, such a difficult enemy? How blessed you are. Because how glorious will it be when you overcome such a darkness? Overcome such a plague? You will be stronger than any man I have ever known.

But if we fall to our own inner demons, we are weaker than we can possibly imagine.

Know this my friend. You are not alone. You are surrounded by many who can relate, and many just on this site who care enough about you to reach out, and they don't even know you! You are not worthless, you are the spirit of the living god, and he cares enough about you to revive you everyday for a chance at life.

I have found the lord Jesus and he eradicated all of this darkness The lord has the power to save. That is my story, and I which you much strength in forging yours.

Craft yourself into the man that women crave. You will get there my friend. Do NOT give up. That is just what the darkness wants. It will win. Life is struggle, but the struggle will bring you to glory.

God be with you.

rockyp32 · 2019-12-23T03:13:56+00:00

No fap and semen retention will make u confident in urself

2stoned0jaguar9tre · 2019-12-23T03:33:58+00:00

If you got the money, feel no shame in facial reconstruction.

MoeJartin · 2019-12-23T07:22:48+00:00

Jordan Peterson, & always tell the truth

Title	Dealing with being deformed (face)
Author	mok_88
Upvotes	61
Comments	92
Date	December 22, 2019 1:10 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ee4q1i/dealing_with_being_deformed_face/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dealing-with-being-deformed-face.302594 https://theredarchive.com/post/302594

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