Direct or indirect opener?

chii1 · 2022-10-25T07:17:03+00:00

"Hey, i dont go to bars, i have no friends, im just hear to buy tomatoes"

mb2493 · 2022-10-25T21:24:13+00:00

In the end it comes down to this: how many women do you lose by going with the direct approach vs. how many women do you lose by going with the indirect approach (instead of going with the other option). The only way a direct approach will work is if she finds you attractive from the very start (physically attractive because she doesn't know anything else about you yet). Going with the indirect approach you have at least the chance to show your personality and build rapport. So an indirect approach will always work if the direct approach would have worked as well, with the only downside being that you may have wasted a bit of your time (we're talking about maybe 10 minutes max). You could even argue that you got at least some practice. But why not combine the two approaches to have the best of both worlds? Start with an indirect approach and if you notice some positive signs say something along the lines: "to be honest, this was just an excuse to talk to you, cause i think you're really cute" and so on...

Fate-in-haze · 2022-10-25T04:06:48+00:00

What about situational openers?

OpenHeight6562 · 2022-10-25T07:30:25+00:00

I don't think it really matters, tbh. I've had success and failures with both.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-10-25T21:04:34+00:00

The only wrong way is when you always use the same type as a tactic. Whatever feels natural in the moment, that’s what you use. Sometimes direct, sometimes indirect. Most charismatic people aren’t using a script. Learn to use both, naturalize your communication, then learn to stop thinking about “indirect” or “direct”.

Ts9588 · 2022-10-25T05:52:07+00:00

Direct always in my opinion, women are into confidence and it exudes confidence. Also cuts around all the bullshit and gets straight to the point. Honestly, indirect is just wasting your time unless you're willing to put in the time and effort to win her over because she doesn't have initial interest, which is again a massive risk of wasting your time. If she has initial interest, just go with a direct opener, and if she doesn't then you get rejected, big deal, her loss. Again going back to my point why indirect is a waste of time, you're just beating around the bush with a woman who's already into you (assuming in this instance she's interested and you don't have to risk winning her over).

Mountain-Surround663 · 2022-10-25T19:56:24+00:00

Indirect for sure

mmlh5011 · 2022-10-25T21:26:14+00:00

I go Indirect to warm up then direct once I'm In a flow state.

1144411 · 2022-10-25T11:58:41+00:00

Type in the words "Cute Girl from X" into your phone. Walk up to the girl. Say hey I have an issue with my phone do you think you can help me out ? Hand phone to girl.. if shes interested she'll see what you're doing she'll laugh and put her number in. Mission accomplished 🥂🏆

r2d3x9 · 2022-10-25T23:03:21+00:00

Indirect is usually more effective

BlvckSkin · 2022-10-25T23:46:00+00:00

Depends on the girl and her attraction to you. So in conclusion, it doesn't matter. Just go talk to her and ask questions about her that interest you. Talk about things that interest you. Make the jokes you wanna make, and have fun.

You're going up to her cuz you think she might be interesting and worth getting to know and spending time with, so behave as such. Thats how you approach women. You may find out she fucking sucks and is completely boring and uninteresting. Act accordingly. You may find out she has the potential to become your best friend and lover. Act accordingly.

Think about what you like and see if she's that. Thats all you need to know. Anything outside of that is beyond pointless.

2022-10-25T08:08:00+00:00

I think you should follow your intution on this one, it may depend on circumstances and differ from girl to girl. But if you follow subtle path, you should keep that sexual tension in the air anyways.

ArbitraryBaker · 2022-10-25T15:35:46+00:00

Neither is very intriguing to me.

It’s been shown scientifically that if someone helps you they have more positive associations with you than if you help someone, which really is pretty mind boggling. So the second approach is not a terrible idea. But asking for a recommendation for bars seems like you’re asking for help picking up chicks. Asking for help choosing a melon, or tying your shoe, or finding a specific street might be a better tactic.

distawest · 2022-10-25T16:47:29+00:00

Neutral about the first, the 2nd really sucks

epimpstyle · 2022-10-25T20:01:10+00:00

"Hey, I am new in the city, which bars can you recommend..." ?

I don't know why it looks creepy....

If you replace "bar" with a restaurant it sounds better.

EDIT: I want to tell you an example from real life. I had on the phone an image of the Egyptian pyramids and I asked a woman from the street "Hi, do you live in this town?" ... "Yes"... "Where can I see these buildings?" ... she said "in Egypt" and I said "Oh no... not like that, there are some photos of these buildings at XXX travel agency...." and a silly question was enough to start a small conversation with a nice lady talking about travel, hobbies and all kinds of things...

Title	Direct or indirect opener?
Author	blaubarschbube27
Upvotes	8
Comments	28
Date	October 25, 2022 3:37 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ycuwlg/direct_or_indirect_opener/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/direct-or-indirect-opener.1247738 https://theredarchive.com/post/1247738

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