TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

LeilaintheDark Archive

View 12 posts and 86 comments by LeilaintheDark on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Lol you’re confused. “Slut” is the term you’re looking for. A whore has sex for money, which is not what most of these zoomer tinder girls are doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/20 06:31 PM
4

This. Saying it’s saggy could be ok depending on tone and context, but trying to put the bra back on is the nail on the coffin!
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/20 02:52 AM
8

True but my perspective on this is let them be savage! Perhaps you’ll even eventually inspire them to cultivate their own femininity more.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/20 01:53 AM
2

I mean, I like my gender role. I'm much happier following it than not following it. I do think these gender roles still benefit society, and that dismantling them leads to decline. Part of RPW is enjoying the gender roles. If you don't like your gender role and find it oppressive, you don't have to follow it.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/20 05:38 AM
1

It's not just gender roles. Biological differences are involved. Society has been fighting biology for so long and losing.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/20 03:55 AM
3

Men and women are different. Men have worth even if they don’t provide anything. All men have inherent worth, but providing something is a bonus. Just as all women have inherent worth, but being pretty is a bonus. Handsome men and providing women is also a bonus, but usually not as big of a bonus as providing men and pretty women. Should people who have bonuses be treated differently legally? Of course not. Will people with bonuses be treated better in dating? Almost certainly.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/20 06:14 PM
3

Yeah he is. Also this is why I’d always recommend NOT planning the first date, not asking him out. If he had to make the first move and initiate and plan all the activities, you still can’t be certain that he’s truly into you, but it’s still a better filter than you being the pursuer.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/20 06:27 PM
3

Oh interesting! Thanks for the male (assumes based on context) perspective!
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/20 02:02 AM
5

Awesome! I definitely had to be taught haha
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/20 09:31 PM
1

Yup that’s the one! I’m not familiar with the “ideology” of that sub if you will, this bit just caught my eye bc I think some RPW do subscribe to that thought while some do not (I’m talking about individuals here, not the general spirit of this subreddit)
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/20 06:01 AM
1

Yikes that’s a bleak outlook. It’s my current situation haha but I don’t resent him and I’m holding out hope that our relationship will work out. Also, stats might say one is more likely to do such and such because of x, but it doesn’t mean one is doomed to do it, just maybe a bit more likely. Anyway, that’s what I currently think about it but I appreciate your perspective!
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/20 10:43 PM
2

Oh man, that kind of scares me. I have pretty high smv and rmv and I committed to someone poor (not as in lots of debt but as in makes very little money) but not because of his “potential.” I just fell in love with his personality, character and how he treats me. I guess if he becomes rich one day, I’ll be older so way less smv so he could probably get someone with higher smv but I guess I’ll just have to hope that I was accurate in judging his character.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/20 09:20 PM
1

Thanks for your input! That’s interesting and makes sense, though I wonder, what if the man, while poor, got a quite high quality woman that he normally wouldn’t be able to get because she happened to have fallen in love with his other qualities? Also, I guess I didn’t mean “build” as anything beyond just staying by his side while poor. He would still have to reach success through only his own efforts, but with the company of a gf/wife. Would that feeling of relying on a woman still hold?
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/20 07:34 PM
13

Yes, I agree that character matters a lot here. Actually I feel like the self-esteem of the man is of primary importance. If he’s unsuccessful and has low self-esteem, he might indeed place lower value on his partner, since he might subconsciously think that she couldn’t get anyone better than him.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/20 07:22 PM
2

Thank you so much! Truly happy for you :) PS you’ve inspired me to wear a cute outfit today even though I’m just staying home
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/20 06:36 PM
1

I didn’t know that! Thanks for the tip!
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/20 06:35 PM
18

Ahhh this kind of makes me want to get my ears pierced! Congrats, must be a great feeling :) and thanks for the post. I often forget that even little things can make a big difference. Sometimes I get so hung up on big things (right now it’s my health that I’m seeing doctors for) and so sad about them that I neglect all the little things that I CAN do to make a difference.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/20 12:57 AM
2

Should I just accept the fact that I’m an average woman who needs to settle with an average man Yes. I'm confused, you complain that you're "ugly," but you also said that you reject some men because they're "way below" you in looks. Now I don't know if you're ugly or not, but if you are, then of course it'll be harder to find a handsome and rich-ish man. You can accept that this will be harder and riskier (you might never find him) or you can "settle with an average man." There's nothing wrong w…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/20 08:28 PM
1

Don't get married til you straighten this out. EDIT: Also, in my opinion one should never say "I'm over you" unless they're truly prepared to walk away from the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/20 05:19 PM
1

Depends on what he likes. Someone else said you can wear lingerie for you, which of course you can if you’re into it. But if it’s something entirely meant to entice him, find out what he likes. Some men really do like expensive lingerie, some prefer sheer slips, some like that leather/pvc stuff, some like those cheap stretchy stuff you usually see in porn (dunno what it’s called lol) and of course some like the t shirt and panties look. Depending on what it is you might save yourself a lot of mo…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/20 04:43 PM
9

I’m so sad reading most of the comments. First of all, there’s nothing wrong with being a gold digger. Society shames women for no reason. Second, what you want has nothing to do with gold digging! Gold digging is being with a man (usually the richest you can land) only for his money and resources, without a care in the world for character and chemistry. You simply desire to be provided for, which used to be a standard expectation of all women, and deep down probably still is for most women beca…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/20 04:29 PM
21

Yes I second moving out. Incentive or not, the reality is that the current situation is not satisfying to you, and it’s very unfair. You’re a young gf - it’s a nice time to take care of yourself and live your best life without stepping out of the relationship. Being a gf does not mean you’re suddenly a free personal maid. Men have to step up to more commitment including financial commitment. They have to step up, not be talked or convinced into it. I’m sure many men do get talked into it but it’…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/20 11:37 PM
2

Everything the others have already said but have you read The Power of Now? It’s not specific to women but basically it’s about sinking deeper into the present moment and letting go of the ego. I think it helps with competitiveness since that’s ego/reputation/identity driven. Whereas try to think of all matter as one, and have a more flowing, cooperative spirit. Being in the present and enjoying the current moment tends to also give off a tranquil and feminine vibe in my opinion. Best of luck :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/20 10:01 PM
1

Wait what? Besides the whole engagement thing, many men all throughout history and regular life have fallen in love with women who lack youth and beauty, sometimes even kindness. Not that we shouldn’t aspire to those traits, but they’re not essential to being loved.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/20 09:55 PM
1

Ugh get this fact out of my mind it hurts lol. But I find my partner the most attractive because I love him. I think a lot of women are like this, hence hypergamy, being with the one you think is the best. Unless the woman “settled” of course. Women being more attractive than any one woman is because polygamy.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/20 09:49 PM
1

Aw my first relationship was with an abusive narcissist as well, albeit not for as long. I don’t know why you say you have to look at other plans. Women are generally at an advantage when it comes to dating (easily able to find a partner) as long as you have reasonable standards.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/20 09:42 PM
3

Hmm? You need to respect him exactly as he is. Yeah you can prefer that he dressed differently, but you have to respect his present choices. If he too wants to dress better, great, that’s his individual prerogative. I think if you get this mindset down, corresponding behaviours will naturally manifest, since you’ll be able to see him as another competent adult instead of a child to be guided and “nudged.” Nothing wrong with telling him your preferences (I like that shirt on you) but don’t do val…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/20 09:31 PM
2

Oh yeah I agree, if you haven't fully let him know how you feel about this (I assumed you already did) then for sure let him know. But then, if he still doesn't change, I don't think keep mentioning it is a solution (since you're doing it now to no avail). In that case, I would either fully accept the situation and make peace with it OR as many others have helpfully said, simply stop doing the thing that's negatively affecting you by setting up some sort of alternative lunch situation. Best of l…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/20 02:43 AM
1

Hey, I totally empathize with you as my SO has a couple of cleaning quirks as well that used to bother me to no end. I get that it's really frustrating, and what helped me was remembering all the great things he does. I feel fortunate that the cleaning quirks are the biggest and only complaint I really have against him. No one's perfect, and this is a very light flaw. I also want to share something I read somewhere - sorry I don't remember which book. Basically it was saying that sometimes men w…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/20 11:37 PM
1

Thank you so much! That’s very relatable. I did eventually ask my partner for more feedback but I think I’ll just leave it alone for a while. I need to not even think about friends for a few months and just work on myself, hence the nun mode. I’ve actually been to therapy before for a whole year and learned a lot about my self-esteem or lack thereof, and relationship patterns I fall into. Sometimes I might actually push people who are too nice away because I feel like I don’t deserve it (subcons…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/19 06:58 PM
1

Thanks for your feedback. I don't think my ex best friend cut me out because I was too nice. That one was quite a mystery. I'm saying that I had no issues making friends (no friends in this city because of moving, traveling etc.) until this friendship breakup, which leads me to believe that the core issue is that I'm trying too hard to make new friends. This is leading me to be a social pushover, second guessing everything I'm saying, worrying about others not liking me. Thus, I wanted to try th…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 09:35 PM
6

Thanks for your advice! I've read bits and pieces of that book. The thing is, I feel like I was a likeable person but all of a sudden I'm not. After the breakup, I just feel low-key anxious about women not liking me, which probably leads to them not liking me haha. The organic thing is so important. Recently I signed up for a dance class, and it was finally for me and not for the purpose of making friends. Though if friends naturally arise, great :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/19 07:30 PM
6

I feel what you said, though there might be a slight misunderstanding. I feel like this isn’t just for men’s pride, but for women too. Communicating with so much vulnerability and honesty really builds intimacy over time. If I want something, I just express my desire or form a request. My partner will meet it if it’s within his means and I assume your husband does as well :) There’s no need to guilt or shame him into doing something. This method is not about censoring or obfuscating but about be…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 02:28 AM
8

Now about criticisms, which is when these issues most frequently pop up, for example if your partner is doing something in way A bit you think way B makes much more sense. We all know not to say “way A is stupid,” but a lot of people might say “why would you do way A” (justify yourself to me) or “have you thought about way B?” (I assume you haven’t thought about way B because you’re not as smart/creative as me.) Instead, perhaps say something more along the lines of “when I saw this problem, I i…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 01:48 AM
2

Yeah definitely don’t go around copying phrasing. One can say something with perfect phrasing but still have disrespect oozing out of their tone. It’s more like, before saying something, think about whether there are any implications. Are the implications disrespectful or vile? If so, don’t say it. What are you trying to get out of saying it? Do you want something? More dates? More attention? Great, now straight up communicate your desires. Learn to say “I want” instead of “you should” with genu…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 01:40 AM
10

Yes! “Why” is great when you’re genuinely trying to understand someone, not when you’re using it as a softer way of saying “I don’t agree with that shirt.”
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 12:38 AM
3

Oh I hadn’t even thought of that. You’re completely right! Might change from fading interest to pity to disgust.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/19 07:28 PM
1

Wow that’s awesome, congrats!
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/19 07:23 PM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/19 07:22 PM
5

Thank you, I'm glad! 2 years is still the honeymoon period depending on who you ask so I intend to remember this stuff decades down the line :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/19 05:39 PM
1

Oh oops, sorry I didn't mean that what I did was against RPW values at all. It was just a response to the previous person correlating having roommates with "dallying in adolescence," and me reflecting on how I knew that wasn't ideal, while not really judging him on that either. And I don't regret it! I'm just reflecting on that.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/18 05:26 AM
1

I see that perspective. Ah I feel queasy now because I knew about RPW when I met him and I pretty much knew what I want, though I evaluated him based on his personality (like being assertive, practical, stuff like that) rather than his exact situation and what he has. Anyway so do I just go with my original plan of renting a single apartment, and wait for the future? I am serious about him, and don't want this to seem like I'm not interested in a future with him. But yes also I can see how movin…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/18 03:32 AM
3

Thanks for your feedback! This is why I ask because it's hard to be objective haha. I guess I know about most of his financial situation. It's not the best because he has a low-paying job. He's responsible, and fairly good with money. He has been actively looking for a better job, and I trust that he can pull it off. Is that objective? Maybe not. His personality (and actions) are of the provider type. One of the roommates is his sister which I think further complicates things. He's not friends w…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/18 03:14 AM
2

Thanks for sharing your perspective. It sounds like things worked out for the best for you, congrats! It's weird, I feel like just a couple years ago I was more "carefree" like that but now it seems like leaving too many things uncertain.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/18 03:02 AM
2

Hi :) I relate a lot! With him it just started small. I read The Surrendered Single before meeting my bf, and receiving is a big part of that book. Since we were just getting to know each other, he would give little things, which were easier to receive. Then as he saw I was enthusiastically receiving, he gave more. The bigger things (note: they're usually not physical things but just helping me a lot with my life, career etc.) were harder to receive, but I guess I just remind myself to TRUST him…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/18 05:55 AM
1

I mean... I was doing a study abroad program where there was this one girl who was excessively nice to everyone (even to people who were lukewarm in response) and people tended to not like her. It read to me as her not having a spine. I get that there's the "nice guy" trope. But I believe there's a huge difference between being nice to be liked, and being nice because you can (you have the ability and resources) and the person is nice to you back. I'm sure if I wasn't so sweet and passionate tow…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/18 12:11 AM
2

Ahh this tip is gold! They're good at applying logic, you just be confident in your desire (which I guess is an emotion, even if there are rational reasons behind it) :) I also read about it in The Surrendered Single when I was single. I have a different problem. I usually suppressed talking about my desires because I was afraid to seem needy. But I think it led to people not valuing me and not trying to make me happy in ANY way. Now that I'm open and honest it's completely different!
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/18 07:25 PM
2

So much yes! I somehow had the implicit belief that their kindness has a "cap" on it, and if I accept more, it'll run out and they'll resent me. But it turns out it's totally opposite, the more you accept, the more they think of more ways to give. It has been a challenge discovering my own ways of giving, instead of taking over his methods of giving (that's not giving, it's competition!)
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/18 07:19 PM
2

Interesting. I also live in a medium city in western Canada! I've found that in some big cities, like New York, men are chivalrous to women (just in an everyday stranger sort of way) and in other big cities, like Toronto, it's totally opposite.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/18 07:17 PM
3

Aw that's so great to hear! Being carried makes me feel so girly. The opening up thing is magical. It seems like the more quiet you are, the more they start filling in the silence.
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/18 02:35 AM
1

Really? I'm not doubting the sincerity of your comment, especially since I don't talk to men in real life about this topic, it's just that I sometimes hear the other side. The other side being: if you trust that your man is capable (of both earning and budgeting, and being straightforward), then if he offers you 2 options, he can handle both options. Always picking the least expensive option might seem like you're worried about his financial state. But it seems like the men you know disagree wit…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/18 11:45 PM
2

Ahh love it! Really astute advice. Will pack snacks. I'm getting so happy reading your planning advice because he's planning the big stuff like itinerary and accommodations and told me to just look up stuff I want to eat and see :) As the more introverted party, I'll keep the limitations thing in mind and try to gracefully ask for time if I need it.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/18 11:31 PM
3

Thanks, it's really good advice! I can't remember specifics but a looong time ago I got into a gigantic fight with my bf-at-the-time in the car over something like that. My bf drives manual, which I can't do (and think is hot hehe) and I never give him driving advice. I half-joked that maybe I should learn for this trip, and he told me not to worry about driving. So I'm gonna drop it and focus on improving other things :)
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/18 11:25 PM
5

Thanks for the solid advice! The memory building thing is so exciting and a bit scary :) I have a question though. While I don't mind the less expensive option at all, and I do value him so much (by the way, we're going to split the cost of this trip) I've gotten advice on this forum that I should be careful about picking the least expensive option too often, because it might insinuate that I think lowly of his earning potential (for now and for the future). I can see the logic in both these per…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/18 11:12 PM
2

Haha oh my goodness, reminds me of when I went out with my bf and his friends for ramen, and I ordered something spicy (which I usually like) and I couldn't finish my bowl and was sweating the whole time. I just laughed it off and all was good but was a bit embarrassing! Thanks for the tips! UTIs ARE the worst! This reminds me I should consider bring pills that help with bathroom habits juuust in case.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/18 11:08 PM
5

Will definitely have sex! Try to be extra creative... Yes, I was pretty concerned that I might say something annoying/dumb while sitting in the car so I'll try to look out for it. I feel like I have to consciously remind myself that many men enjoy the silence.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/18 08:52 PM
13

Thanks for the excellent post! My experience with this: Make your desires known plainly with simple language. Have good faith that he wants to fulfill them, but don't expect him to fulfill them by whichever date, or that he'll even fulfill them at all. And definitely don't tell him how to fulfill them. - I feel like this is the best way to get your needs met with no resentment, because in a way, you're not making a request of him, you're just offering information (and I think a good captain acts…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/18 07:18 AM
6

Ooh definitely paying attention to what he orders at restaurants helps :) We were at an Italian restaurant and he said carbonara is his favorite so I learned to make it (we're both Asian and I grew up with Asian recipes) and he was so happy! He also bought egg tarts at a grocery store once so I made a batch of egg tarts :) I'm a bit of a scaredy in the kitchen so I like to slow cook things, like beef and daikon stew, and braised pork belly. Nightmare: Early on in the relationship, the FIRST time…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/18 04:52 AM
1

I think of it like... imagine you spent a while picking out a gorgeous dress, putting on makeup, doing your hair, and instead of saying "you look beautiful," the man says something like "you don't have to wear nice things for me to love you." - While it's a sweet sentiment, and might be true, wouldn't you rather your man admire and enjoy your beauty? I do offer to pay sometimes, but I feel like I'll start doing this less and less because I get the sense he doesn't really like it. I'll continue b…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/18 03:59 AM
3

You can start with the sidebar. If he's "rambling" about your weight, perhaps try to lose the weight. Though to fully become a RPW, thinking that you settled for him is not a great mindset to start off with. If you return to your original weight, would you once again see it as you're settling for him and that you don't need to work on anything else?
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 02:12 AM
1

Well, no one NEEDS to go on fancy dates, and almost all women are capable of paying half, but a lot of men want you to appreciate them for what they can and are willing to do FOR you. Also, it's an issue of trusting his judgment, including budgeting skills. You trust that he has good judgment, so that he won't see you as a gold digger (if you aren't one). You trust that he has good judgment, and he wants to spend HIS money on taking you somewhere nice. This actually reminds me of a time when he …
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 01:48 AM
1

Thanks for your perspective. He is definitely Captain material :) and I adore him. Looking back with your post in mind, perhaps he did do these tests, probably subconsciously. Soon after we became exclusive, he took me to Subway :D and I was just as happy. I didn't mention it in my main post, but I do pick up the tab occasionally, as in pay for both of us. I do this by sometimes asking him if I should pay, and he sometimes says yes, sometimes no. When I get the bill, I still thank him for taking…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 01:37 AM
5

The Surrendered Single, Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood, Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus, For Women Only.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 12:37 AM
7

Argh I didn't even think of the invalidation aspect but it's so true! I'm doubly glad I avoided that now. Thanks for your perspective :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/18 07:01 AM
9

You know what, thanks for the tip. I'm actually prone to ordering the cheapest item! Like I have no issue spending my own money on myself, but I tend to feel awkward/underserving when others spend on me (a mindset I've been consciously curbing). Just my inner emotional stuff that's a work in progress. And thanks for the bday wish! :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/18 06:56 AM
7

What a perfect response! Your comment makes so much sense, and is consistent with the few books I've read. I intuitively knew I missed a great opportunity to show appreciation (I was using all my energy biting my lip from saying the thing I almost said haha). Fortunately I have been showing lots of appreciation for all the time we spend together. I've been trying to conquer the last leg of my self-esteem problem, and I suddenly internally panicked about being a burden etc. The truth is that I DO…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/18 06:40 AM
3

Ah smart. And it's true, I do love any activity with him! Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/18 02:22 AM
2

Thanks! Fortunately I'm already a positive person, and thankfully there haven't been major problems for me to fully demonstrate that. He seems to already like that even little things easily make me happy.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/18 07:41 AM
2

Yes! So glad I caught this one :) Thanks a lot for doing the readings! I'm pretty sure my boyfriend already sees me as a great girlfriend, but since I like him so darn much, what should I focus on this year so that he'll see me as a potential life partner?
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/18 08:50 AM
3

Sure thing! I used to be codependent, so these by no means apply to everyone: Healing Your Emotional Self, The Nice Girl Syndrome (both by Beverly Engel), When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (only read the free chapters on Amazon haha but still helpful!) Relationships: The Surrendered Single, Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/17 11:05 PM
42

Ooh, I can answer this because I used to do this. Thankfully this is reddit because I'm embarrassed, though I'm at a better place now :) Low self-esteem: I subconsciously felt like I didn't deserve a committed relationship. After I dealt with that issue (through therapy and reading) I entered an amazing relationship. Validation: Quantity seems to be more important than quality when one has low self-esteem. A part of me enjoyed all the male attention, and believed that whenever another male "frie…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/17 09:09 AM
3

Yes! I'm so happy we're going forward with this, especially as we approach the new year. I'm glad to chime in on the assignments that are appropriate for me even though I don't have a husband yet haha. A1: My boyfriend has so many masculine virtues! They give me the tingles, so hopefully I don't forget/get used to them as time goes on. I did still write a physical list. It has been quite easy to look to his good side once I put my mind to it. I don't have the best relationship with my mother unf…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/17 07:25 AM
1

Count me in! Thanks for the excellent idea :) I've read this book and have done a few of the exercises, but not all of them (though I feel like not all of them are appropriate for me at this stage). Looking forward to the discussions!
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/17 11:12 AM
3

Thanks for sharing your perspective! I find it interesting that while I purposefully refrained from speaking, I didn't purposefully take on a submissive posture. Now I wonder if by adopting other RPW tips, a woman naturally subconsciously displays more submissive body language :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/17 04:08 AM
2

Thanks so much for your kind words! I'm glad Mrs. Doyle's suggestions are improving your already happy marriage :) Yes, I'm so happy with the results because I really adore him, and I know this relationship would not be like this if I didn't take RPW to heart (based on how my previous relationships were).
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/17 08:37 AM
1

Sorry for the late reply, yup that's the one! I'm finding it really helpful, especially the chapter in which he recommends requesting with "would you please do x?" instead of "could you do x?" He explains it really well, but it's something like "would you" is a more vulnerable way of asking, and thus more pleasing to the man. I had trouble feeling the difference between the two until John Gray dropped the bomb by saying, imagine if he said "could you marry me?" when proposing!
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/17 08:29 AM
2

Hey, I'm fairly new here, so grain of salt. It sounds like you guys have a loving relationship, and you're wondering if you wouldn't hear from him for a long time if you didn't reach out. I feel like, why not stop initiating and see what happens? Perhaps if you give him space and a few days, he'll initiate. Perhaps he won't, and you won't hear from him for a week, but that's not such a bad scenario. I don't think he can hold it against you for not initiating, especially if he's not initiating ei…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/17 05:48 AM
2

Oof, I hear you. My first relationship was from when I was 17 to 21 (he was 23-27) and during these 4 years, it didn't even occur to me to discuss the future. Very luckily for me, my bf invited me to a wedding in July! Obviously he didn't plan for his friend to be having a wedding, but I feel like that topic will naturally sprout up at such an occasion, and the timeline is pretty convenient. I really need to improve upon my domestic skills :) Also, happy you found someone you're on the same page…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/17 05:05 AM
2

Thanks! Yes, that's an important thing to keep in mind. I'm definitely applying some of these principles with a heavy hand, because otherwise I might revert to my loud and opinionated self. People like you who've been practicing RP longer, and who've been with their SOs longer have a more elegant and flexible approach - a state I'll strive towards!
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/17 04:50 AM
3

Oh that sounds great! Wow you gave such a confident answer to the "what you're looking for" question. My answer was kind of wishy-washy (still learning) but luckily he steered it towards a more serious direction. It's a bit confusing because I feel like some guys can genuinely like someone, but not reveal plans nor ask what the girl is looking for. I guess it's their personality? Perhaps some women are so feminine that they can naturally make such men become future-oriented, or perhaps not.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/17 10:53 AM
6

Thanks! Yeah, my statement was a little dramatic. I agree with what you wrote. Definitely if he's doing a task that has many components (for example moving), I would want to help. My go-to is to ask "should I do component A?" I think it's cute because you're showing that you're considerate, but also pretty much asking for his permission. If he says yes, he'll usually start delegating other task components, which I find attractive :) However, and I'm obviously new to RPW and will probably shift m…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/17 04:04 AM
3

Ooh I really like your ideas! What you said towards the end makes so much sense. I was wondering about reciprocity in a new relationship in a red pill context, and you painted a sweet and balanced picture. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/17 05:21 AM
2

Thank you, I'm so excited to do so! After 2 years of unintentionally being single, I read The Surrendered Single, and Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood (thanks, sidebar!) and tried my best to apply the concepts. I feel like I haven't been this happy in a while. I'm currently reading Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus and picking up even more tips.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/17 04:59 AM
1

Thank you! I'll probably try that a few weeks down the line, when it feels right to discuss, if that's still a thing by then :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/17 04:53 AM
1

Right, thanks! I agree. I'm probably overthinking this, since I've mentally embraced RP relatively recently, so I'm trying to follow it closely. It's just that I hear (and agree) that girls asking men out can be unattractive, and was curious as to whether that dynamic also applies within a relationship. Awesome thing to keep in mind though!
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/17 04:47 AM
3

Aw I think you're in such a great position! I wouldn't even think about your height and nose, and other factors you can't change (without surgery), as that can only hamper your confidence. I actually think being shy does not stop men from asking you out, especially more outgoing men. However, are you so shy that you don't put yourself in situations where it's possible to be asked out? Depending on the place you live, perhaps no one would ask out on the sidewalk, in some places, men don't even as…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/17 11:28 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter