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upfnothing Archive

View 12 posts and 536 comments by upfnothing on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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-2

You know how you end female promiscuity full stop? You ban abortion and make contraceptives difficult to get. Liberalism is tied to the modern Democratic Party but not of the Democratic Party. Liberalism is its own thing much like Conservatism is. Red Pill is a response by men to female domination of western societies. The real wage gap is with men as our skills become obsolete and women adopt rapidly to the modern economy built on their strengths.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:18 PM
-5

A whole lot of paragraphs. Summary liberals destroyed western society. I also vote Democratic 100% but the pendulum is swinging hard back again for a reason. Women had those restrictions cause men in previous generations knew how conniving and destructive women are as a whole. (Individually there are some good women.) That they cannot without societal pressure keep and maintain relationships stable enough to build families and societies with. The sky high female initiated divorce rates and greyi…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:09 PM
2

In my experience ex-wives hoe themselves out.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/24 01:30 AM
3

Yep been there shit is gonna get worse before it gets tolerably bad
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 06:53 PM
10

Yep. I foolishly met one face to face. Realized it’s just a lonely single guy banging a woman. 9/10 times they don’t know. Some look for married women but the majority just got pussy thrown on their lap. The fault lies on the woman.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 06:37 PM
3

Great read!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 06:26 PM
12

I was married 17 and mine banged a whole roster behind my back. Don’t ask questions, don’t waste time trying to fix something she didn’t care about preserving. Just break ties and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 06:25 PM
2

I have a history of TBI’s, toxic chemical exposures, undiagnosed sleep apnea, and a history of having aggressively self medicated for PTSD/Depression type brain damage. My patience for bullshit is near zero.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 12:06 AM
4

Aside from employment issues would agree. Bosses don’t care for being called out on bs.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 12:00 AM
2

Sure there are consequences but I’m at the point in life that I say whatever I want. As a nihilist we’ll all be gone in a couple of decades. Have to live this life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 11:53 PM
7

If there are other options yep. Mine got banged out by some dude over on the other part of Houston. Said she was going there to experience different “workout equipment”. Rest assured I don’t go to that place.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 11:11 PM
2

As long as you are 50/50 good on you! She’s wrong and misguided if pushing for more than that!
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 01:19 PM
-2

So you tried to stiff her for ten percent that’s legally hers and are “worn out” by her insisting on getting what she is legally owed? It’s not about how much you made or she made as there is labor in marriages that can never be accounted for by the financially “lesser” party. I have been through mediation for the safety of my child. To enter into mediation in order to squeeze the other person for less than their share is a pretty crappy thing to do. I’m in men’s corners cause women are a mess n…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 12:40 PM
1

I’m not I’m monogamous it’s an either or for me
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 10:46 PM
1

This is the read that I am getting. That a lot of my anxiety is from the past and it’s not entirely grounded in reality. Not to say that it’s not valid but that the hyper vigilance is out of tune. I need to learn to be cautiously optimistic instead of all in then anxious.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/24 01:18 PM
1

I am split between it being: An attempt to make up for being less in tune with my needs the previous day by calling me proactively (positive) An attempt to keep me from calling at my usual time which is when I thought I heard her interacting with someone (she said it’s the TV which is almost always on when I call and was at that time). (negative/paranoid?).
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 08:57 PM
0

I would like a monogamous relationship with someone. A long term less than marriage type relationship. I feel that if I needed sexual freedom then just keeping a couple of sex workers on speed dial would be more time, emotion, and cost effective.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 08:52 PM
3

That’s a powerful way of seeing things. I was paid out in our scenario. She cheated and I walked away after a brutal 8 months of fighting to reconcile. She never changed but I did. Became distrusting of all women. This one is my longest continuous relationship since so I feel it’s a right of passage on my healing journey.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 08:29 PM
3

Thanks. I’m a getting a clearer sense of this. I love this subreddit cause it helps me realize I’m not entirely alone in dealing with these type of things. That someone gets it. I’m paranoid after my experience with my ex-wife and have to learn to recalibrate.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 08:18 PM
2

That’s exactly what I feel it is. That I can’t determine what constitutes evidence cause my filter is low. I believe it’s referred to as PISD.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 05:48 PM
1

That’s how I am leaning regarding these things. Also want to point out that this is what solidly gained wisdom within discussion looks like. The line between circumstantial and direct proof isn’t the question. It’s whether the existence of even some degree of circumstantial is enough to jettison. That would vibe with an article I read in the HBR about our gut intuition’s role: After 11 years at the helm of J&J, Larsen says that one thing his experience has taught him is to listen to his instinct…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 05:31 PM
3

That’s what I feel as well. She has done all the other things correctly. Initiating daily contact unprompted. Keeps me connected to her family and has even shown a desire to respectfully understand where I’m coming from. I think this is the moment that we need to seriously consider whether we can grow closer or if distance and schedule have effectively stalled the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 03:51 PM
2

This reminds me of my ex-wife. Absolute Josephine of a woman. Women like that gut our internal compasses. I feel like a dog that’s been rescued but can’t attach properly there after.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 03:38 PM
2

Thank you! This is what I needed to hear. I currently never call or text her first. I started this after that Instagram post. I expect her to call or text message first each and every day as a default. I call at 8:30 pm only. If she misses that call I won’t reach out ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 02:55 PM
3

Sound exactly like me back when I divorced three years ago (17 years married). It’s not the sex it’s the dishonesty and betrayal that has you jacked up. Once you separate the two and come to terms with the mental it’s become easier to process the physical. Time is the only way to accomplish that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 05:29 AM
4

When you realize that it’s all a ritual. For a woman to leave you she has to devalue you. It’s all a game. Mine spent years talking sh-t about me to everyone behind my back. All of it while she cheated on me with a dozen dudes. A whole team roster. Don’t ever internalize any of that. Hit gym and live your life. I know it’s hard but it’s the only way.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 01:26 PM
3

Your lawyer is either lazy or genuinely scared of running you in to massive debt with a result you might not like. You can do something as I faced a similar issue. Feel free if you have any questions to HMU on a private chat as I don’t want to open up about this on a public forum.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 04:05 PM
9

“She is in the past and the past is not my concern” “She doesn't deserve me. She doesn't deserve what I am. She doesn't deserve what I will become.” Thomas Shelby Your value and happiness doesn’t come from her. It comes from within. We have all been in some way or another exactly where you are. There are dark moments but they are moments nothing more. A day at a time, it takes time to heal.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:34 AM
3

Nah it’s just that we had hoe ex-wives. There are actually women that love with their full heart. Crazy right? It’s like some of them aren’t crappy people.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 09:24 PM
-1

Plot twist maybe he actually is the abuser.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 09:23 PM
1

Maybe the label fits. JS
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 09:23 PM
4

I’m not. I genuinely am sad to see a good woman by all accounts treated this way cause we all know how hard a good one can be to find.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 09:22 PM
8

Just curious, what caused you to be the among the minority of guy’s on this thread who “fell out of love”? Sounds like she genuinely loved you and you ditched her. I could cause anyone to take such a crazy decision. I normally back dudes but your story rubs me the wrong way. Wishing her the best.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 09:21 PM
3

All four.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 05:09 PM
2

Facts!
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 04:55 PM
1

Bro if you are reflecting this deeply chances are you’re not. Putin, Trump and countless other examples of men that can’t ever admit being wrong. That’s the key being able to say I jacked that up. Not a political thing either cause McCain, Romney and both Bush’s were damn good men.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:52 PM
3

Exactly! It never makes any sense cause women don’t generally make sense as reproductive partners. They have two competing drives that never reconcile. Mine was a mess that’s gonna take a decade to unravel. OP this is why we preach don’t look back. You control where your mind goes. It’s gonna hurt for a while and that’s okay. Use that hurt as fuel to drive you to be a beast of a man. Not for her but for yourself. “She’s in the past. The past is not my concern.” “She doesn't deserve what I am. Sh…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:25 PM
1

You filed for a reason. Wear your big boy pants and get on with it. You closed that door in your life for a reason. No second guessing yourself now. You can’t get back what was either broken or you just broke. There’s a reason one of the first poems we learn is Humpty Dumpty.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 01:07 PM
12

Lost attraction for 2 years? You’re young. Life taught you a lesson early. Real early. Do not put your happiness in a woman’s hands. Ever. You grind and hustle and a woman becomes like a useful cat. You mourn a lost cat but you get over it quickly by getting another one. Don’t ask anymore questions to her. You don’t need the answers it’s best to leave things like that a mystery. Speaking from first hand experience. Even in the best country’s for men. Marriages last 14-18 (Brazil and Italy). The …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 12:50 PM
2

You’re in a great country with sensible male rights and literally almost any type of woman just a call away. You can date a regular woman with some effort which is preferable in the long term or hire a couple of regular providers to meet your needs while you rebuild yourself. Can’t believe you asked whether you can talk to another woman.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 12:42 PM
4

Why are you asking about your basic right in this world? I get genuine confusion about things but asking if you’re allowed to talk to a woman is borderline idiotic. The moment she wanted to separate it’s to begin her new life without you. You are always in the drivers seat! You can do anything that’s legal. You want to go to another country and plow 20 chicks at a brothel or date one back home you missed and have always been curious to get to know. It’s your right to do so. Stop giving women con…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 12:38 PM
2

Mine told me that I need to get over it after going to one “couple’s” therapy that I chose, scheduled, and planned after catching her. She literally got on a plane to travel Asia and left me destroyed emotionally with a three year old. Had to go to my parents, cause I hadn’t eaten in two days. My kiddo excited cause he got to put his toy cars to go on an airplane ride. Breaks my heart that I let her put me in that emotional spot. OP your ex-wife is no longer. Karma will get her back eventually. …
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:36 AM
5

This is insanely accurate and should be required male training. Awesome post!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:25 AM
1

It won’t accomplish anything even if he did.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:23 AM
11

Thanks all first hand experience. She was a grade a POS looking back and I was brainwashed by this society. The first time she crossed me I should have put her in her place. If she didn’t comply ditch her as it’s better to be alone than with a woman that is disrespectful. Once they don’t respect you it’s over. I created a sociopath by my simping.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:22 AM
5

Quite a few? You mean almost all of them. 70-90% of divorces initiated by women. And the other 30% the women were so rotten even the most dedicated man couldn’t (I filed after she became a door knob- everyone got a turn).
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:19 AM
6

It’s by design. Their sexuality and hypergamy can only be kept down when the husband treats them like a piece of ass. Happy wife is the biggest crap ever told. Women want to be cheated on so they feel that their man is a catch. That they have influence over but no control.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:17 AM
6

Yep. This. Don’t try and work it out. Women don’t cheat like men. You are nothing but a nuisance to her getting deep piped. The sooner OP sees her as just another woman the faster to moving on in life.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:14 AM
27

She, she, she. Where are you in any of this? You’re the man but her actions is all your mind is on. She acted selfishly and dishonestly. All the questions in the world will not change that. You have to put this behind you. Gym, hustle and stop looking for closure. You won’t get it and it will hurt you more than you will gain. Been there beautiful dream home, world travel, kids college fund set and stable careers. All thrown out cause she needed to get banged by a dozen dudes. If I can put that b…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 03:11 AM
7

Thanks. It’s a paradigm shift. Many of us are slow to it. This is what language models are perfect for. Emotionally destabilizing messages are either prevented or de-charged by having AI do the leg work. It spends all day processing crap like that. I funnel any message going to the ex-wife through it to avoid sounding adversarial but also ask it to reply to anything that’s outside of a basic yes, ok, or thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:58 PM
9

Have ChatGPT reply. Just copy and paste. Do not be rude but do not even bother reading it’s not meant for you it’s meant for her ego
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:37 PM
13

Yes but it was all part of her plan to soften me heading into mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:35 PM
1

I say it like it is. Some of these betas that downvoted me are clinging to their women or memory of their woman like it’s an emotional life raft. They genuinely believe that they are the only penis she’ll ever think about or should think about. I am not about that life now but it’s a good reminder that the only thing you share is a connection. Just what that connection is, how long it lasts, is entirely dependent on how secure each person is.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 10:00 PM
2

You worried about the wrong thing. You weren’t on your grind and let the relationship deteriorate to the point that she was even able to be swayed. It happens and there’s not much you can do about it. Take ownership of what’s in your circle. Her being sad and seeking a therapist was like her doing due diligence before leaving your behind. She was out the door weeks, months or even years before. Keep hustling bruh. GTA. (Gym, Therapy, Abstain from drugs/Alcohol).
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 06:25 PM
1

If they want to bang another dude without coordinating with you in a relationship then yes agreed. Some successful relationships are built on the notion of open intimacy. There are whole subcultures built around it and it becomes a highly social thing. Swingers do become lifelong friends etc. It’s the disrespect, dishonesty, gaslighting, trickle truth, and concealment that kills. I remember back when I did this with my ex-wife decades ago. Talked with a dude whose wife I was gonna plow and he wa…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 03:27 PM
9

Nope. It’s over. She lost respect and there’s nothing for you or anyone in that similar situation to go back to.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 02:58 PM
2

All this is sharp! One had an ex-husband who was impotent later in life so she went without getting banged. I took care of that for her. Second had an ex-husband she caught cheating on her. She was okay but there was no prospect of anything income wise from her. I would have been the sole bread earner.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 08:03 PM
0

Not sure what violating German search and seizure laws got him aside from more heartache. Life can have misteries
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 07:46 PM
2

Two but they were not long term viable (divorces not even finalized).
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 07:17 PM
2

Wisdom.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:44 PM
2

That’s a healthy outlook. Makes sense. My struggle is that I’m a hopeless romantic in the age of promiscuousness. Believe in the growing old together fantasy which apparently no longer exists.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:42 PM
3

It’s all temporary. So why even bother?
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:38 PM
6

That’s it right there! Women play this nonsense cause for them to get off they usually need chemistry and mental stimulation in advance. I have grown to have massive trust issues cause it seems all women do nowadays is break up solid relationships and marriages (their own and/or AP), to go get piped by a couple dozen dudes that don’t give a rats ass about them. It’s like modern western women are nothing more than high functioning stray alley cats. They might come around when they feel you’re use…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 02:06 PM
4

What country? I can see why you are caught in a bind for the moment. I had no clue you were abroad dude.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 01:17 PM
7

Ex-wife. She is just another woman. What she does with her body is her business. You are crossing boundaries. Looking through her things? Really? You should feel beyond stupid. That’s stalker behavior. I have trust issues and that for me is a bridge too far. I hate my ex-wife enough to question my sanity but even I wouldn’t dig through her things. Because she doesn’t live with me, I moved out and got an apartment. By the way get the distinction out of your head. Here is all the closure you need.…
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 12:58 PM
1

I’m not a pet person but can get exactly why people get them. Being that adults (especially) women are so damn flaky these days.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 12:51 AM
1

Completely feel that. I can be a beast at the gym but my issues post divorce have kept me from there. Feel that bar v gym chick. “You can change what you do but you can’t change who you are.” Thomas Shelby.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 06:45 PM
2

That’s what I sense. It’s the chasm that we either ignore or attempt to fill with things either positive or negative. My personality tends toward the negative (drugs, alcohol) which is why I stress over this.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 06:33 PM
1

I’ve been burning and earning, snapping necks and cashing checks! Lol great movie!
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 06:31 PM
2

That has been my experience. They all want a fling. The moment shit gets real they run for the doors. Then complain men don’t want to settle.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 05:40 PM
1

That’s the part that sucks. The dating part is easy. Hustle, match, rizz, take on a date or two and plow a couple of times. Then rinse and repeat. It’s apparently too much to ask for a LTR. If and I’m almost certain the year long one I’m in fails it’s back to just me and my solitude. Perhaps for the best but this is not how I imagined life in my 40’s to be.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:55 PM
2

That’s correct. I have learned to push toward things like getting a home, winning a major case against the baby momma, getting a degree, attempting a business, that I have transferred that energy into finding a mate. But finding a woman doesn’t work that way. It’s on GOD’s or the universe’s time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:09 PM
3

That’s exactly it. My happiness should come from being on my own. Which it is infinitely easier to accomplish without sacrificing my time to anyone else. Going to the gym, working on my goals, catching up on my things, organizing my life around me. That a woman can just be plugged in. Here’s the things though. Who in their right mind would want a woman in their life If they are crushing it and all a woman will provide is the risk of emotional destabilization along with inconsistent affection and…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:05 PM
3

That’s what I’m starting to feel in my heart. That the dream of a family is unattainable and that my reality is showing my son how to learn to be happy on his own.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 03:14 AM
2

No it’s what I needed to hear. I felt you got me in that statement dude. That’s my reality. You voiced it perfectly.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 02:26 AM
6

I do. I had to fight his mother in court for it when she decided to try and alter the decree and move in with a person that shouldn’t be around kids. A year and $50k spent.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:49 AM
5

This cut right to my core. I have felt lost for a while now. No rudder listless and have had my own mental health struggles with Depression. I appreciate you taking the time to write something this profound. I used to have the world at my feet and haven’t felt like that in a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:39 AM
3

You’re absolutely right. I’m not happy with myself. Far from it. I have tons of issues to deal with. I am trying to build an empire and am treating a woman like a house or car that with time and effort can be acquired instead of bioproduct of my life’s health and choices.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:26 AM
2

That’s what I’m going with as the best option not just for meeting women but getting me into other healthy relationships as well.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:22 AM
1

In 3 years of post divorce. I was single for 5 years before marrying and early on in that two decade marriage we swung a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:21 AM
4

You think 40 is a small number? A football team has 53 players. How many women are enough? 100, 150, 200 it’s a losing sum.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:17 AM
4

Never said I was. 4-5 a year is more than enough. Women are a pain in the ass to deal with beyond that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:13 AM
1

Distance. It’s hard with kids but you have to. Then that becomes indifference to her existence
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 11:18 PM
1

That’s a solid game plan! The biggest hurdle is that you are ready for yesterday’s battle. The next woman is a completely different beast. You have to stay on your toes and adjust accordingly. I wish I could give you more clear advice but I’m struggling myself on that transition toward another LTR.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 11:14 PM
1

That’s because you were secure in your masculine frame. It’s a double edged sword it’s what they want but they need you vulnerable to build a connection with but too vulnerable and they lose respect and fall out of love. LTR are hard cause keeping a woman with options can be like hard flying (piloting) a plane without autopilot at 40k feet. That’s why the divorce rate is astronomical for women with college degrees.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 11:02 PM
-2

Not sure what the snarkiness means. I’m also a war veteran, traveled 40 countries and 40 states. Have run my own business with employees in three states, coached 4 sports including Texas HS football, taught a thousand students, have a masters degree and repaired corporate jets. All while marrying an Eastern European acrobat. And racked up a larger body count then the average cause I lived a life far above the average. Maybe if you lived a little you could inspire a woman to throw you some box. W…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:58 PM
3

Boom! It’s the Catalina Wine Mixer. POW!
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:53 PM
2

It’s any port in the storm and when you have multiple you go for the finest one first, then distance to. I worry about long term compatibility after I pipe them a couple of times. It becomes obvious when she’s got major red flags. You will fall into that pattern if you have one that’s decent. It’s only human, the tough part is to not go too human cause it diminishes their respect for you. Respect and security is all women want us for outside of our dick game.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:51 PM
1

I hear that as well. I’m not sure if my issues both trust and war related are gonna get me there.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:47 PM
8

It comes down to a sales mindset. Always be closing. Wisdom indeed!
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:01 PM
2

I’m dating late 30’s to as old as 46. I tried a 27 year old once but she was too unpolished with life. Yes, I have a 9 year old and I want him to experience a traditional family which is what makes me not just bounce with this trigger at 1 year. The thought that I would let my hurt impact what could be the healthy relationship I have been waiting on. If you live near a major city, take care of yourself, read psychology books, constantly search like a salesman trying to make quota, and have atten…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 09:58 PM
3

That’s what I’m worried about with the current. 1 year in and I’m being triggered which even if I’m wrong will gut the relationship. Infinitely easier when I wined and dined them for a couple of weeks
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 09:52 PM
3

I want a LTR. I want someone who gets me and who I can build with. Being promiscuous sounds like fun but it’s no different than just hitting a brothel in Germany, Mexico, or Thailand. That way it’s time and emotion efficient. I can’t speak to most guys but tireless hustle and strong resilience to continuous rejection go a long way in racking up a body count.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 09:09 PM
2

You are right! I didn’t feel this way with her till this DM message out of left field has my insecurities all flared up. Seemed innocuous enough but just couldn’t get past my paranoia and distrust. Full fight or flight mode not even knowing the whole story.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 09:06 PM
8

Thank you! I want to get with a person that is real and that I feel safe emotionally around.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 09:04 PM
6

It’s not easy access. I get on the apps and spend hundreds of hours upon hours on pointless no where conversations and put myself out there. I read books on psychology and seduction and work out religiously. I drive decent distances cause Houston is massive. All to wax a chick couple of times. There is nothing easy about it. I want a relationship cause that seems easier than all this.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 09:03 PM
10

I’m 43. First time at 17. Married at 21. Divorced at 40. In a 7 year window of being single I have plowed through 40 women. At what point does this game conclude. It’s a waste of time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:35 PM
1

There is hope. That’s powerful and beautiful to read. That’s what I dream of. For me it seems like just a void of nonsense on the other side of this relationship if it doesn’t work out.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:28 PM
2

I was married 17 years and she cheated in a way that destroyed my self esteem and has given me massive trust issues. I have one now who is my longest post divorce (1 year) and the trust issues are eating me alive recently. I feel like cutting but know I can’t grow without taking this head trust issue crap head on. I don’t want to go through another dozen to be here all over again with unresolved trauma. Just needed to vent thanks for listening.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:23 PM
2

It may sound cold but be grateful it’s only a filing. Many of us were destroyed in many additional ways. The kids can learn that mom wasn’t happy and that you can’t force someone to stay in a marriage or relationship. You have to stay on your grind cause there will be some incredibly tough times on the road ahead!
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 04:30 AM
7

Similar here. Married for 17 years (her at 19 me at 21). You got to focus on the good years and forgive and move on. Mine banged a roster of guys behind my back. Got me all messed up with trust issues. But her she died years ago. “She is in the past. The past is not my concern…” Thomas Shelby
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 10:53 PM
3

How long were y’all married? What age did you both marry at? There’s a lot to unpack.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 10:46 PM
2

I’m with you on that but I also realize that I’m like a person who being burnt before is now scared of even seeing matches. There is a balance otherwise I’m letting someone else’s actions influence the way I see the world.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 09:49 PM
1

It often feels like I am but you’re right as this is very much a part of the human condition. I miss when my only emotions ended in Y. (Angry, Hungry etc)
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 09:47 PM
1

That’s what I’m thinking also. But am getting that how can I establish a longterm bond having half my body out the window. I was married for almost two decades cause I did but also remember just how much getting rocked out of that trust felt like.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 09:22 PM
2

Thank you. I’m in therapy which has been really helpful. I’m working on overcoming this mental ditch regarding my self esteem and self worth. It’s the part that I am a problem solver. I see something I don’t have or should have and make progress towards it. LTR is something I want as a single dad. But loving ourselves is such a cop out. We need to narcissistically love ourselves. It seems that’s the only way to have it all in love and career nowadays.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 08:12 PM
2

I feel the same way generally but have to get over what could I feel could also be extreme over sensitivity.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 07:08 PM
1

I did that more than a decade ago with the ex-wife. I went most of my life without trust issues. It’s to show how far the pendulum trust swung (no pun intended). I trusted extremely healthily and fully at one time in my life. Absolutely agree as it’s generally deleterious over time.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 07:07 PM
2

I completely get that. Thanks for listening and being real. Tired and just grasping at this point. I want to heal and love but loneliness seems the only way to keep my sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 05:11 PM
1

Right but how can that knowledge be useful to get me past my trust issues?
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:54 PM
1

Sounds like you need to drive to a larger city on weekends. I’m in the Houston area so never experienced that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:30 PM
3

Meet ups is a good start. You can search for ones based on your interests. A good one for example is board games. Dating apps can filter for age as well. They are however swiping on a gazillion people to get a couple of dates. The virtual equivalent of a pan sifting for gold along the river. I respect your being able to not date that long. I have tried dating but have a lot of self work ahead. It genuinely scares me to be with no one but feel it may the only way I find peace and rebuilding.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:06 PM
9

You need therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 11:04 PM
2

If it’s longer than 3 sentences to explain get a professional consultation with an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 10:42 PM
2

Unfortunately reality does not bend to our wishes. We must find a way to accept it and flourish within its unfairness. Best wishes to you as well.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 06:53 PM
2

I’m not saying it’s healthy or fair to us as men. It’s actually a painful and horrific existence psychologically. You had that many women at a time because you through your actions showed your prowess reproductively. You began to subconsciously project it. Your physical energy projected it. Women today share reproductively strong men. They accept the most degrading and excuse the most unconscionable behavior from men that fit this definition that they subconsciously are driven by. You could thro…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 04:30 PM
13

Because it’s hell to divorce. Men are supposed to be resilient and logical. We shouldn’t have married if this was what we were aiming for.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 06:23 AM
1

That’s life sometimes your the dick while sometimes your the balls.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 02:54 AM
3

I think you played with emotional hellfire and got lucky. My advice is don’t ever put yourself at risk like this again. Too many guys on here get swole at gym, ex-wife throws the kitty at them, they get a sniff of the panties and a round and then end up here devastated that they got made into a roster spot instead of the main attraction.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 09:20 PM
3

“Looking stunning” that implies desire on your part. I remember seeing my ex-wife and thinking okay I would smash that. She then proceeded to try and screw me over in court. A snake is a snake no matter how pretty.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 09:00 PM
2

Closure is good but not if it means risking your mental health. Risk v reward. Glad you survived the experience.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 08:56 PM
1

Solid point! Agree with you on this.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 08:31 PM
3

Sounds good. Not pop science. Science. As hard as we may fight it we are mere machines to replicate the human species. Sexual selection is at the core of existence. Our ability to reproduce is the quintessential primary driver of human pair bonds. “Individuals are not stable things, they are fleeting. Chromosomes too are shuffled into oblivion, like hands of cards soon after they are dealt. But the cards themselves survive the shuffling. The cards are the genes. The genes are not destroyed by cr…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 06:56 PM
1

This all due respect is the silliest thing I read today. A man’s worth to all his future partners but especially the lifelong one is defined by his sexual energy. Being able to have sex at high rates or give off the impression you can is how you keep a woman. This is almost always paired with physical strength or obscene wealth. They have been preconditioned by evolution to preselect males. Don’t need to but are programmed to. I recommend you read David Buss’s The Evolution of Desire before you …
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 06:42 PM
4

Or not cause women can get laid whenever by almost anyone. She’s toying with him like a cat with a mouse. Except the mouse comes on here claiming he somehow “won”
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 06:00 PM
2

Sounds rough but that’s that Ramsey approach only way it will sink in.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 05:59 PM
5

Are you? Why does she matter. “She's in the past. The past is not my concern.” Thomas Shelby.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 04:59 PM
7

Bruh, not sure where your logic is. She didn’t want to seduce you. She wanted to make you try so she could play you one last time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 04:57 PM
2

Is he though? Why even talk to her and play those games?
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 04:56 PM
21

Why? Move on. I have a kid with mine and if it were not for that one thing I would never speak to her again. What co-dependent nonsense are you on? She is either gonna paperclip, breadcrumb, or friend zone you. None of those are useful outcomes to a secure man. Unless you are on some weird fantasy thing where you enjoy her telling you about how the new love toy is an NFL linebacker size dude with 8 pack abs and a seven figure net worth who is clapping her cheeks and rearranging her insides with …
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 04:55 PM
6

Mine knows that much. I leave the other horrific stuff out. No matter how much we ignore it. The shit in the room will eventually be known to everyone in the room.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:13 PM
12

She deserves it. She most likely put her needs first and broke up your family. Your son sees it and he’s not going to accept her lies and manipulation. Good on him. You raised a solid man. He’ll hold his future romantic partners accountable because our relationships with our moms shape how we attach to women later in life.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 01:50 PM
2

London, Paris, Barcelona, Rome, Venice, Vienna, Prague, Glasgow, Dublin, back through London. Backpack it! One way flights! Or just go to Switzerland. I thought it was the most beautiful country on the whole continent. Or Athens, Santorini, Crete, to Mykonos.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 11:06 PM
12

No. She threw it back at me. Saying I left her and didn’t even stay friends. Kind of impossible to be friends when someone lies and stabs you in the back repeatedly.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:46 PM
1

Wisdom and hope all in one post! This is my game plan going forward. Broken people attract broken people!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 02:36 PM
1

Bloody hell I haven’t seen the episode! Lol. Didn’t read the rest of the comment. Had to stop at that sentence lol. I’m at the beginning of season 2. I know that Poly will die on account of actress Helen McRory’s death.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 02:18 PM
2

Lmao!! That’s hilarious! “Rum’s for fun and f*****g, innit? Whisky, now that…that is for business.” Love that show! “She’s in the past. The past is none of my concern.”
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 02:14 PM
3

That’s what I’m working on if the one I’m with now flounders. Investing in a therapist and finding a couple of providers like Lizzie in Peaky Blinders.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 02:09 PM
10

This! The one that I most remember had like 30+ easily while the one I find the most agreeable personally has maybe 6-7?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 02:05 PM
6

That’s what I realized as well. It’s the only real way. You could hobby if you live in a country with sane prostitution laws but for us stateside the options are binary.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 01:58 PM
3

I’m coming to the same realization as it’s just common sense but hobbying is a felony in Texas. Emotionally unavailable women are the ultimate mongers keeping a harem of men.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 01:56 PM
9

I do too. I want the crazy in bed but man those that come with major headaches. Seems as a woman levels up herself the dirty skankiness that makes her memorable is the first thing to go. Wth?!
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 01:15 PM
7

That’s my scenario with one that I almost proposed to. She wanted to text all day long and I have things to do. She read that as me somehow not caring. Like I got things to do lady.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 12:48 PM
1

OP don’t do this she’ll use it against you in court. Move on. That’s the best revenge
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 07:40 PM
7

Been in your exact shoes. My ex wife did this in-town and on the road as she travelled for business. Like a dozen dudes behind my back. Translated the foreign language books and it was about husband’s are for the house work while other men are for pleasure. Destroyed my ability to trust, along with my self esteem. You will be in dark places. Seek therapy, work out and if you have to do weed instead of alcohol. Best is clean.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 07:38 PM
2

But every time we raise concerns about the ongoing threat post by radical feminism and its effects on female minds. The threat it poses to men’s mental health and family creation it gets harassed and tagged by feminist sympathizers. Thank you for sharing!
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 03:45 PM
6

I’m tough on modern women for keeping rosters and being fake but dudes like this are out there also. Absolutely pathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 04:03 AM
7

You’re a man accept responsibility for your piss poor morals and lack of ethics. Enough excuse making. Women pull that crap. Blaming their partner for their crap actions, lack of morals, and lack of empathy. No one told you to do the things you did. You chose to out of greed and selfishness. The only sentence out of your mouth is. I messed up. Total ownership.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 03:53 AM
11

Yeah. A whole affair? I’m guilty as anyone in this world but a whole ongoing multi month relationship? You went above and beyond cheating as you without any regard devastated another human being. Not just anyone either but someone who went to bat for you when you ain’t have anything. She was with you when you didn’t have a pot to piss in. Moments like this is why I’m blessed to not know you personally. Don’t need to catch a case. Somewhere along the way you lost track of what matters. It’s not a…
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 03:47 AM
5

Correct. I had a firm track on the way toward being the happy one until she needed to be taken to court for endangering my son. I fought and won but now have reset that clock on the battle mentally.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 05:02 PM
4

Thank you for sharing this for the men who do not have kids with you ex-spouse. This is how you move on and grow absolutely beautiful post! You have grasped the blessing of a new and clean beginning and have grown amazingly! Divorced dads this is the life many of us must and should aim to live post divorce. To become the person we are intended to be. The hardest part for me is the switching between me on the path to healing and success. Getting ritualized, finding peace, to have it ripped from m…
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/24 02:35 PM
24

That’s because they are desperately needed. A lot of you are working on antiquated ideas of how women are. Modern western women are all too often the same level of sleaziness as ladies men. You ever talk to dudes like that?! Clap so much cheeks that they feel like a walking STD. That’s the level of depravity that exists in modern western women. I have a woman that’s my ex wife’s former friend whom I keep up with. She makes decent money and travels for work. She keeps a damn roster of men from di…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 06:40 PM
1

Barring things such as disease, disfigurement, or morbid obesity, Women are able to hookup with almost any man they want whenever they want. This does not work the same for men who must compete for 20% of the women as the Pareto distribution seen on most dating apps shows that 80% of women find only the top 20% of men attractive. Men should refrain from hookups and seek other legally accessible avenues for sexual gratification.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 09:09 PM
1

It’s not and puts men at risk of lifelong child support to someone that reduces them to being nothing more than a penis. Hook up culture is women treating men like prostitutes. Feminism has created a culture where women are fully able to be promiscuous and control all of the sexual cards. There’s a reason why I man’s wallet looks a whole lot like a vagina.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 06:19 PM
3

As a wealthy single person yes. Poor and single might as well… where’s this rope? PS I suffer from depression and my jokes are dark humor. My apologies if I offend anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 01:20 AM
23

File. Get therapy. Hit gym. It’s over brother.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 07:38 AM
3

Grow a pair and leave that woman alone. It reeks of indecisiveness and a fear of solitude. She deserves someone who will treat her with more stability and respect than you are capable of. The true crime here is you denying her to move on and find happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 06:17 PM
5

I got the feeling but my codependency let things drag out to long. Once you get enough pieces of data pull the plug. Don’t bother knowing who and why there is no closure just more bull.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 03:36 AM
1

Like you I have lived a life full of many blessings and hardships. I entered my divorce journey with as kind of a heart as I could possibly have for someone who beyond betrayed me. Luke 23:34, I forgave my ex spouse and moved on. I travelled and dated and was well on the path to healing. In that healing journey I never acted with coldness to her as I viewed her as kindly as the way OP views his ex. She then re-traumatized me by attempting to unilaterally rip my son out of my life and introduce h…
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 07:46 AM
1

The difference between empathy and sympathy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 04:11 AM
8

Yes. Get a lawyer ASAP. No more Mr. Nice Guy. She lost respect for you as a man along the way. It’s time you remind her exactly how cutthroat you can be.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 02:36 AM
3

It’s called your actions are still dictated by your ex. You shouldn’t care what or who she’s doing. Nor should be trying to even the score. Your ex could be a nun or being railed by the Baltimore Ravens. It doesn’t matter one iota to what you do. Hit the gym, read books, avoid alcohol and get the therapy you definitely need.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:27 PM
1

It does if you go around telling people you’re instantly cured cause you caught a whiff of panties my dude.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:21 PM
-2

Sounds hella simp. Have fun. Think big head not little.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:15 PM
1

That’s the danger path. You should find it pleasant to interact with her sort of like petting a dog or cat. You shouldn’t be pinning and skipping from your time around or with a woman. They prefer you to be strong and resilient not simping.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:02 PM
11

You’re not “cured” you got your nuts drained. Don’t confuse the two. Time and self work is the only real cure. Never draw your feelings from time with a woman. Your worth and satisfaction must be independent. Do not repeat the same mistakes that got you here.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 08:59 PM
1

Wrong thinking. You don’t worry about when she is leaving. That’s a clear sign you are codependent. You leave when you feel like it. Men lead and set the tone. Stop granting her your birthright. Step up pull the plug when you feel like it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 08:47 PM
5

You can vent. But that’s not going to change that there’s a lot of troubling signs to your story. I wish you the best.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:13 AM
5

It cost three thousand dollars or less to get divorced amicably. It’s not rocket science if you love each other stay married if not divorce. Are you on the hook for some of her debts and liabilities that exceed the cost to file?
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 11:47 PM
7

Is she the mother of your kids? If not send postcard and flowers and keep it moving. She chose to leave you any feelings you have is about who she was not who she is.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 10:45 PM
19

Been there. 17 years and she became the destroyer of worlds. It hurts and stings but you have to accept it somehow. It takes years and you may never trust like that again but you will get through it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 07:30 PM
21

Welcome. Your ex-wife is now for the streets. Gym, no booze, therapy. Fill out your divorced tax form and take a number
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 08:50 PM
1

Yes! Lol correct!
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 12:51 AM
2

It’s like a sleeve that goes on … and then … uh yeah you might need to Google that bruh
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 12:37 AM
1

Woman logic sadly meant she would have seen you as a badass and a keeper. Lover v provider logic hermano.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 11:12 PM
2

Welcome, hit the gym. Stay off the booze. No more talk about your former pocket pussy. Life goes on.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 10:57 PM
1

We were swingers at one point in my then marriage (about a year or two). You are not swinging. Swinging involves selection, preparation, anticipation, coordination, friendship, celebration with your spouse. I remember swinging with a couple back and the dude said something that resonated with me. I had finished banging his wife in the adjoining room while he plowed my then wife in another. I forget the exact topic but in the course of mid banging couple hanging out he said. She means the world t…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 02:54 PM
2

Cheating confirmed. Women who cheat often behave just like this. That banging you is a grotesque event. In her mind you don't rate her. Get out, lawyer up and get therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 01:21 PM
6

She's cheating on you. Unfaithful women usually pull this stunt. Her lover or lovers blew her back out but she has guilt at betraying her vows. She wants to go back again and again like a stray alley cat in heat back to a stud tomcat/s. So instead of being an adult who takes ownership (most women are incapable of this) she needs to build a straw man. Why are you such a bad lover? Why can’t you get me to climax? How come you can’t do this right? My two cents is she has fallen out of love with you…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 01:17 PM
8

Just divorce dude. All this thinking is a waste of your time. It will make you look crazy in court if your lawyer doesn’t shut it down. Focus on creating a plan to show the court why you are a better fit for full custody or deserve 50/50. Tally your assets and begin discovery phase for assets.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 11:51 PM
4

It’s life. You’ll date again just make sure to snip you’re balls if you’re done having kids.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 10:21 PM
-1

Then for his sake be helpful as that’s his mom. Just look out for her throwing things such as loan requests your way.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 06:41 PM
6

Exactly!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 06:40 PM
6

Like under 18? If not then move on.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 06:37 PM
12

Do you have kids together? If not then move on she chose her future. Every woman wants to be glamorously single like their health is guaranteed event. Men we think rationally and can see that being single carries this risk. Action have consequences bruh.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 06:30 PM
3

Thanks! Codependency is a real thing. OP is hopefully coming to realize what his true worth independent of her is.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 03:18 PM
2

Mine wanted a kid. Then becomes a POS when raising a kid gets challenging. Completely abandoned every strategic advantage he should have been raised in. Then proceeds to endanger him while trying to sever my relationship to him. There is nothing more pathetic in this world than a woman that destroys her family cause she’s not happy. Same logic applies to gentlemen. If you chose to quit on your family cause you are not “happy” your just as shitty a human being. Kids safety and stability come befo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 04:47 PM
1

Lawyer up. Always! And oh corruption is a thing. Judge gave me the impression he was low key flirting with my ex. You got to fight it is what it is. Bitching about it won’t help.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 04:05 PM
8

I had to go down that rabbit hole to protect my child from her decision making (she dated and introduced our kid to an extremely risky person). It took me and my kid a long time to get over the psychological harm that irrational behavior causes. A cheating spouse isn’t worth putting yourself through that. Just drop her and move on. Abundance mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 11:51 AM
21

Why do you care? I was like you. I kept digging and even confronted an affair partner. To then learn about countless others. This gave me a realization. They are not the problem. It’s your woman’s job to not whore herself out. With whom, why, and how she cheats is not your problem. Avoid the gaslighting, disrespect, trapping, and emotional roller coaster. If you have a strong suspicion bordering on confirmation you do not need any further information. For your sanity cut her out of your life pol…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 11:47 AM
1

For me? I could probably use it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 03:16 AM
2

Get counseling but ready yourself mentally for it to fail. By the time you reach emergency counseling sessions it’s a wrap
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 09:10 PM
3

Good life habits. Time. Rinse repeat. Over and over again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 08:50 PM
3

My 16 year marriage was a mostly positive event. Built wealth, stability and my health outcomes were phenomenal. The part that wasn’t was horrific but it was the last 5-10% of it. I wouldn’t advice anyone negatively on their life based on my journey. I would focus on reminding them to always prioritize their physical and mental health. To love but to establish their healthy limits and to appreciate while also holding their partner accountable instead of the happy wife happy life crap we have bee…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 12:44 PM
2

It’s a bridge to healing but can quickly become a hindrance.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 11:04 PM
2

Agreed. Weed has been the closest to processing. But not good long term for me health wise. Sauna seems to be a good meditative space.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 08:39 PM
0

You are being absurd and borderline ridiculous. Maybe drop the Karen thing and ask questions. It’s your type of alarmist rhetoric that’s needlessly troubling. Herpes is not associated directly like HPV with cancer; itself deadly like Syphilis; destructive reproductively like Chlamydia. The vast majority of people are asymptomatic and generally do not transmit the virus during non-shedding eruptions. The anti-virals themselves are probably more harmful to the body long term than the underlying co…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 04:10 PM
1

Cause you could have been the one giving it to her. Herpes is like what 1/6 of adults (genital) and 1/2 (oral). You over reacted. If it was the clap or gonorreah or crabs etc is one thing. Herpes is like the merit badge of sex. Edit: Do not intentionally pass STD as that’s poor form and generally opens you up to liability.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 03:45 PM
3

OP Listen and take notes to Project Pat’s Don’t Save Her
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 03:41 PM
1

Lmao! I had to look up what priapism means! Raise you that with: “Hey Doc, this is a classic case of Epididymitis.” Cause: Hooking up during Pumpkin Spice season with a woman with an “emotional” thing or two happening.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 03:31 PM
2

Been meaning to read that. How do you rate it?
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 03:24 PM
3

Added it to the list! Good one!
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:52 PM
2

Hopefully, probably, perhaps, maybe…, Never use those words. Your mortgage lender doesn’t say hopefully he’ll pay his note. Your pilot doesn’t say perhaps we will land this plane. We are men. We work on certainties.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:52 PM
5

Agreed. I consider a girlfriend a low cost escort or a mutual masturbation buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:50 PM
3

He’s hooked on that emo pussy. Can’t blame him they are some of the best sex. Woman says I got X emotional thing. You know you’re going to be in urgent care with a penis related injury.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:48 PM
1

You don’t ask. You let it go a month and then get a storage container and begin moving her stuff into it. She will flip out and you will grey rock her. Answering and supporting her to avoid legal liabilities but not providing emotional support. She’ll calm down and will begin to play by your rules. If she doesn’t there’s the door anyway no more problem.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:47 PM
1

Good recommendation!! Highly recommend! Some other classics are: D.S.O. The Dead Bedroom Fix Neil Strausses The Game Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:44 PM
10

Stop thinking. You are working too hard. They will beg or cry to keep you.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:41 PM
1

It’s easy you cant find a decent woman because you are scared of being alone. Accept that whether in a relationship or not you will die alone. Women want to be with you but your neediness is like a stench that permeates after a while. You’re not their mother. It’s not all bad, as soon as I heard, you make money and have the most elusive asset to get nowadays (a home) I was like good on you! My dude, I’m bat shit crazy, (TBI/PTSD) struggle keeping employment but pulled off a mortgage somehow at 3…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 01:40 PM
5

People grow apart it’s life. Sounds like she did you a favor. Be happy she ended it the way she did. Could have been way worse and gone fully off the deep end and had an affair or in my exes case damn near a dozen bang buddies (she travelled for work). She was reading books about how some men are for sexual fun while others are to do all the heavy work of raising kids and maintaining a home. Same advice. Gym. Take time to heal. Learn to love spending time alone. Then and only then date.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 05:47 PM
1

Just realized your talking about the vasectomy! Agreed!
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 10:06 PM
3

I had a kid. Love him but imagine had I ended things earlier with his mom how easier things would have been
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 09:50 PM
5

I agree with the vasectomy! I’m trying to get mine done also. Going through the VA so will be a while.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 08:56 PM
2

I am so dreaming of that moment. The harm my ex spouse has visited on me with her endless lying, cheating, gaslighting, as well as ongoing dangerous and highly questionable decision making as a co-parent has me wondering how me and my son can make it out the other end unharmed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 08:55 PM
14

It is what it is. Don’t lose yourself in anger. Work on healing your hurt. Don’t shortcut it either.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 03:54 AM
7

I divorced her cause she was unfaithful and would not make the serious effort to save the marriage. The usual: not going to therapy no matter what, then not going to marriage therapy, etc. My co-workers (teachers are close like that) practically begged me to leave her a year or two before the string unraveling of her wickedness. Never took their advice. Looking back not heeding their advice at that exact moment was my greatest mistake. As a veteran with PTSD it’s extremely hard to find permanent…
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 01:32 PM
5

It’s the ability to leverage another’s earnings in increasing your net worth long term. Not important if your independently wealthy but indispensable if you are working poor/middle class. My marriage generated a lot of the wealth that I use as a means of providing stability. My biggest mistake was not recognizing when it had run its course.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 05:46 PM
5

That when she leaves and comes back. This is the moment to cut her lose. Anything after that will make life harder for you in the long run needlessly.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 05:41 PM
22

You don’t ask. You go lawyer up and do it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 07:59 PM
1

Your story should be pinned as to why never to trust a woman who you caught cheating. Hindsight is 50/50. I caught my ex-cheating with a bunch of dudes. Tried reconciling was lucky to hangout with two shitty wives and a friend of mine in Pensacola and got to see how awful women can truly be. Set up a Go Fund Me so folks can donate and share here. Good luck hermano.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 02:32 PM
2

My question is how could he not have separated accounts at the point he caught her cheating? Making strong six figures each year for a decade but couldn’t spend a couple hundred for a legal consultation to avoid this scenario? OP I’m sorry your going through this but why did you not shore up account separation and access after you gave her a chance she didn’t deserve!
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 04:22 AM
1

Set up a go fund me. Then be ready to max out your credit cards
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 04:17 AM
7

If you have to ask you already know the answer. Make peace with your decision and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 04:12 AM
3

Uhh you don’t really want my luck as she then dated some sketchy guy and tried to move away with our son leading to a year long $45k legal battle to protect him.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 09:19 PM
1

Your looking for validation of your decision and mindset. No one here has walked a mile in your shoes. You have to make peace with whatever you choose. I personally wouldn’t do that but ultimately it’s all your choice to make.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 07:56 AM
7

Mine cheated on me with a bunch of dudes. Even during the eight month reconciliation. Then got pissed when I finally decided to divorce her and take half.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 03:13 AM
6

Unfortunately, the water isn’t the only thing that was wet.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 03:12 AM
3

Yep. Her problem not yours. Move on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 03:11 AM
3

Hey! I’m a OIF/OEF vet with PTSD, and divorced following a 17 year marriage. My nearest friends are on the east coast and I live in Texas. I coparent week on week off. I have been where you are for a while. You can always DM me, even though I know from first hand experience of self isolating and depression that it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. We got to put that foot forward. Day in and day out. Like an automatic machine.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 06:07 AM
4

This! Ex wife thought we would be “best friends” after she fucked god knows how many dudes behind my back. Fuck her. With “friends” like that you might as well dig your own grave!
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 01:48 PM
1

She stopped caring about you years ago. My friend and I swiped right on each others exes cause we would plow each others ex wives if given the chance. The moment she divorced your ass she became another vagina and a financial liability. It takes time to get over it but remember always: Not your woman just your turn.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 01:45 PM
2

Immediately. You need to regain your independence. Black rock. Nothing serious for two to three yeads
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 01:30 AM
5

Don’t divorce. Wait until you can hold a conversation and they remember which is around 7. You have a very real concern. Just lived through a massive case when my ex brought some degenerate around my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/23 02:56 AM
2

I’m not just sorry this happened to you I’m frustrated and feel powerless to help you. I almost ended up in this situation but for the grace of GOD I was able to fight her misguided and harmful actions in court. Result I’m tens of thousands in debt for her grievous breach of contract. If this was a business deal we would have recourse. Just find something anything please that brings you peace of mind if even for brief moments. You are not alone in any of this. Feel free to reach out if you need …
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 03:33 PM
3

Then move on.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 02:07 PM
2

That’s where your energy needs to be!
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 02:06 PM
5

Let her go. Mine is every bit as evil as yours. Cheating with a bunch of dudes, denied helping with a VA claim to then use it against me in court when she tried separating me from my child to live with an RSO. I have a deep seeded hatred for this woman but I also know that in order to heal I need to disconnect from her entirely. You need to as well.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 02:06 PM
1

I did and then she shitted all over the decree by dating and concealing an RSO along with trying to move outside the geographic restriction agreed upon.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 02:32 AM
1

Meditations and Stoicism. Weed which has been shown to help with PTSD and avoid alcohol. Her tearing apart your world is a form of trauma and you have to accept the reality of an abyss as you crawl your way out. If you live in the Houston area send a DM as I could always use a good friend!
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 09:21 PM
2

Send the KGB a message saying she betrayed Putin
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 12:04 PM
3

I wanted to start a fund for this very reason. Was there fighting my own over her endangering our child. I did right by him and won but we continue to suffer as a result financially.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 12:00 PM
1

Uhhh… in some instances not
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 02:26 AM
-1

Bingo! Sharp learned something new!
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 02:19 AM
3

That’s a sliver. In my opinion they are like housecats in heat. They need a new litter by a new tomcat and until that happens they will be miserable.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 02:18 AM
4

This applies to Gonorreah not housewives.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 02:17 AM
21

It’s not about you. Her vagina needs new breeding partners. You are a solid dude. When they hit their post menopause days and regain sanity the weight of what they threw away for new semen hits them hard
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 02:15 AM
5

Incorrect prenups are only required if you have a breeder. She’s a hairstylist living at her moms .. prenup. She’s a Board Certified Neurologist that makes more than you…prenup not needed.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 02:13 AM
5

Women are designed by nature to be impregnated by different men. They resent you if you do not evolve enough to be different. Novelty is the key to the ovary my boy
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 02:09 AM
1

I got used to it eventually after a year or so, what’s tough is having to coparent, if you dint have kids count your blessings. Stay positive, do a meet up a week, hit the gym, date, read and develop a play list.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:37 AM
2

If you got kids a new hell has been unlocked.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 10:51 PM
3

She’s monkey branching or about to screw you over. Could be nothing but more likely than not it’s something not in your favor
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 02:23 AM
17

It’s a struggle to survive on a single income and co-parent. I guess if I was a doctor or something I might see it as a financial victory
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 02:33 AM
1

No. Cliff notes?
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 04:12 AM
2

“Might” she already is bruh
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 01:33 AM
4

You are change is like the erosion that forms great mountains and valleys. It happens gradually and only though the passage of great time will you need.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 12:26 AM
1

Completely get that 100. Life shouldn’t be like this my dude. We each have our cross to bear. None of us can change the hand we got dealt but we can sure as hell play it the best we can
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 04:26 PM
1

I get you but most of us are trying to keep our heads above water barely have enough time to read epic stuff let alone hardship narratives. Right now your yelling at the ocean. I’m just a dude on my own sinking ship passing by. One of the things Reddit should have is it’s own calling feature!
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 04:06 PM
4

Read Meditations and get therapy. You are writing a wall of text. Your actions, reaction, and emotions are being dictated by her.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 09:41 AM
1

Using leverage to buy investments that they hold into the log term capital gains territory. They take a low salary for daily spend
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 05:29 PM
1

Did she confess or did you corner him into an admission. Two very different things.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 05:20 PM
0

You sound like a woman on a girl’s trip. He needs to sort himself out. Enabling him is a joke. It’s probably also a sign on how far along my own journey I am that I don’t accept mediocrity and give it license. Men lead. We embrace hardship and we overcome odds. We are ruthless in pursuit of stability for our loved ones. There’s too many on here who lost track of what it means to be a man. Our actions aren’t dictated by women nor are we devoid of humanity. It’s easy to come at me from behind a ke…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 03:20 AM
2

Dang. Not sure then. You can’t control anything on her side. Just be the best you that you can be and avoid enabling her. She needs to do more but in my experience might have to move on. Just have to rule out as much as you can beforehand.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 08:25 PM
1

Thyroid?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 08:11 PM
2

Not trolling. I was this dude. Blaming my spouse. She cheated and broke my heart. Guess what I still needed to make major changes. It’s easy to complain about others that’s what women do. A man looks inward and takes ownership.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 07:53 PM
2

It takes all of 15 minutes to do an upper body exercise weights aren’t even required and 10 minutes of sprinting. It should be the first thing you do. Set realistic expectations for your fitness. Doing the little things makes all the difference. Pessimism isn’t helping. It becomes pervasive.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 04:47 PM
1

Exactly! She’s a mess but he is jacked up also.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 02:17 PM
2

Men don’t ramble. Heartbreak and risk of injury/death are the only times we should be lose with our words. This guy is complaining about how his lack of exercise and dietary control are someone else’s fault. Textbook definition of whining. He needs to get into stoicism and develop consistency if he expects it from others. She like all women needs to be led and he ain’t leading
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 02:16 PM
-1

We don’t know that. Women do lie and manipulate but my hunch is it’s more him than her here.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 01:01 PM
-1

That’s what I thought. As long as she’s faithful he needs to rule out a lot of things. Can’t route out a problem by being angry and whining, he needs to become disciplined, balanced, and regimented himself.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 01:00 PM
1

Thank you. My thoughts exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:57 PM
0

A good starting point is to get therapy for yourself. To learn to set healthy limits and to change your mindset from whining to problem solving. Then you can troubleshoot accurately.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:56 PM
1

She could have sleep apnea. People go undiagnosed the majority of time. It’s not just chubby people, it can be caused by genetics or head injuries. Each night the brain being suffocated in sleep. All the ADHD symptoms overlap. Modern medicine loves medicating people on Ritalin and Adderal when it’s a much more obvious solution. Have her do a sleep study, your kiddo same as sleep apnea can start at any age even childhood. Many of those teens running around on meds getting labeled are probably nee…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:55 PM
-3

I thought exactly. He’s so busy being a whiner that he never stops to think that his spouse could have a serious mental/physical impairment.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:48 PM
1

Exactly! He needs to be balanced himself. Gives her everything then is frustrated when she has a lobotomy. We need to have an internal scope of work. Limitations on what we do. That way we don’t enable others flaws. Love the stoicism on point!
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:45 PM
-7

I normally don’t get on the dudes here cause many of us have been through hell. Most women aren’t worth a dam. This time I’m going to say something different. OP you are coming across as an entitled scumbag. You have a horrific and ungrateful personality. Just reading your commentary depresses me. If reading about your mindset frustrates or depresses me I can’t even imagine her or any woman that’s married to you. Your complaining about stuff that you can change on the flick of a finger. Total ow…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:39 PM
2

This! My dude! Agreed 100!
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 03:37 AM
3

You need to hit the gym and read pick up artist books if you think married sex was the best sex you’ll ever have. Here’s a short list sexual experiences I had after marriage that never were part of married sex. Car head Nutting in her mouth Her swallowing Eating her ass Anal sex Nutting in a woman’s butt Woman squirted on me Hotel sex her hanging out open window Sex wolf of Wall Street high
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 06:34 PM
6

Yep. Can push a baby for a couple of hours but can’t take hardship lasting longer than a week or two
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 10:57 PM
4

Too much thinking. Kick the hoe out and move on with your life. She cheated game over.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 04:37 AM
1

This 100 percent plus tight geo restrictions, home residence, and primary school decider
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 11:48 AM
2

Get used to having credit debt. We went from no debt to $50k under in a year. Had I applied logical thinking I would have battled her on my terms instead of being put in a reactionary position. Stop being Mr. Nice guy cause you’re about to learn the hard way that your kindness is an assured road to perdition.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 11:46 AM
2

There are other matters geographic restriction and educational decider. I thought I had a strong low cost amicable divorce. I discovered just how misguided I was when she tried to move more than hour away to live with someone awful to have around a kid. Get a lawyer that serves your interests to review the document at the minimum.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 11:42 AM
5

It’s a cotton swab test gets done in 3 minutes. Never assume in these matters. New born kid and her wanting out are always questionable. The days of trusting her have ended.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 11:38 AM
5

Don’t matter. We were together 17. Travelled the world together, brought a dream home, and had a child. She betrayed us and never had remorse. Even went on to do worse post divorce. You need to pull your head out your behind and start thinking like a prosecutor. My advice get a DNA test to ensure you don’t end up paying for an AP child.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 02:37 AM
2

This is a paternity situation immediately. OP is setting himself up with comments like “for sure”. Women exiting relationships lie and betrayal is a cold hard fact to process and stomach.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 02:34 AM
7

“For sure” unless you have DNA confirmation that child is not biologically yours.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 02:33 AM
2

Do not ask for a paternity test. Volunteer to babysit and drive over to an Anylabtest now and pay out of pocket for a paternity test.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 02:31 AM
14

Move on dude. Move on. She’s not your anything anymore. She’s your kids’ mom.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 02:29 AM
42

She’s your child’s mother. She’s not your anything. It stings but you have to find a way to move on because it can and often does get way worse than this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 03:50 AM
1

You sound like a woman. Yes, on the fleeced part. No on the laid part. I get more butt than a female toilet.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 10:57 PM
1

Interesting apologist feminist sympathizer take. So how do you explain that 80-90% of divorces are initiated by women?
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 05:50 PM
6

Exactly. The hypocrisy of it all is sickening, Toxic masculinity is code for male resistance. It’s our indomitable spirit that they can’t destroy so the make it the enemy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 08:11 PM
3

She’s just setting up hidden accounts while you do spin classes bruh
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 06:23 PM
12

It’s feminism. Has destroyed marriage. We men fight and form bonds while these evil feminist indoctrinate women with this notion of not needing men to raise a family.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 06:18 PM
2

$1500 initial. Then $70k and counting when I discovered she was dating someone awful to have around my son, which came up when I fought her on relocating two hours away.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 06:16 PM
2

Y. If they are doing well and the relationship is not public knowledge at school. Seems you like throwing money on needless legal battles.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 01:31 PM
9

This. 100. There’s a lot of degenerates and this 23 yo seems to be a stable human being with no glaring issues. Life goes on OP. Don’t worry about your x.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 01:30 PM
8

Sucks….Someone else’s problem…cowboy up.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 01:28 PM
1

Welcome to the club. My ex was a door knob everyone got a turn. Never trust a female with your heart.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 01:36 AM
1

Go live. Go. Take every dollar you have and live. I’m in 60k debt for a similar reason and this is my fear. Just live take the kids on the epic trip before it’s too late. My heart hurts reading your story. “When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.” Tecumseh
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 11:38 PM
11

cohabitation? We had a guy on here or FB can't remember that tried cohabitating and got his head beat cause he told his ex and her AP living with him that he would like for them to keep the arguing down. Instead of going down that path. I suggest breaking whatever wicked form of codependency you are on and forging your own path instead. It sucks and is scary starting out on your own but it beats the alternative by a long shot. Cowboy up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 08:34 PM
1

There was infidelity. Women that cheat pull away and have undefined anger issues part of their discard strategy. You being the one to put in all this energy on therapy work is a red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 01:55 PM
1

I tried for half of costs but she wouldn’t agree to it. Settled on 3k which is about 5% of the total debt her actions triggered. Courts won’t enforce that debt or provide leans so good luck collecting.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 01:08 PM
1

My three things for you: Get a tight geographic restriction (school district is perfect, might have to settle on your county level). Fixed Sunday handoffs. Period. Get educational and residence rights. If you have to split them take the residential and go back and fight her for the educational before she gathers stability. Shock and awe. You not caring about money cause you’re a trust fund or billionaires kid will be your greatest advantage. If your neither then make sure to keep your job stable…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 12:55 PM
1

I get you on that. My son above all else. Incorrect on the money. You need to focus on accumulating money as well as liquidity and leverage. She will test you in the future and you will need to pull your resources to avoid being swept up in the family courts. The passive all I want days are over. You will need to fight and be ready to fight for your kiddo at anytime. Her judgement is flawed and you have to act as the sole parent going forward.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 12:39 PM
1

My typo. I hate texting. You must have Sunday handoffs, Correct. Never accept a non Sunday handoff. Mine to the letter hermano! Search my history and it will give you an idea what I am up against and what I believe you are dealing with as well. I would have given you my Snapchat handle to walk you through her playbook but wasn’t sure the forum rules on here.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 12:33 PM
2

You have the exact path and situation I’m going to speak to you clearly I care more that you understand than your feelings. She is sleeping with someone else. She wants time with that guy and she is playing you. Do not give her the Sunday ever. You and your kiddo need it and it’s the default for a reason: it works for the kid. The right to education means you decide. The right to residence means your the primary residence. Those two things along with the geographic restriction are your battlegro…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 12:05 PM
2

I’m doing it. Never take anything but Sunday handoffs ever! Mine wanted weekday handoffs as she was secretly seeing a married guy during the divorce negotiations and cared more about that then anything else. Short term women thinking as always. Gave her that not knowing any better. It’s been a drag on employment and costs more. Kiddo hates it as it causes confusion from time to time (getting on wrong bus etc). Have as tight a geographic restriction as possible along with right to residence or ed…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 11:54 AM
3

Did you have kids or even pets?
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 11:45 AM
2

Wisdom! That is brilliant! It reduces women to their utilitarian purpose. The ex is preferable to not bone because of the added drama it generates on the woman side. Not from anything on our end. Pure genius!
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 12:27 PM
2

I get the boxing references. Confused about the red and white pill. Is plowing the ex the red pill?
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 02:07 AM
2

? Explain I’m confused.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 12:58 AM
2

Damn right lmao! Wouldn’t recommend it as might leave with brain damage but worth the fun lol.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 11:58 PM
9

I do from time to time. More like the way great boxers want to fight one another. Strictly physical to exert dominance over an opponent that thinks she’s on my level.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:45 PM
2

Agree too high risk.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:43 PM
8

You care too much about her and what she thinks. About how she would feel. All women are dead to me just don’t trust any of them at this point. When you reach that point you are ready to rizz your ex. To string her along with a smile that conveys you could care less whether she likes you or not but that you will use her the way a blacksmith uses an anvil. Something you will aggressively and confidently pound with no concern for its existence. It’s replaceable at that point. That’s when you are r…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 07:43 PM
5

It’s their way of avoiding blame. They will do everything to lead you to have to file so they can blame you later. Sounds like your ex has been cheating on you for a while and this makes her look good to family.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 02:16 PM
6

You don’t ask. You get an ex-gf that can’t for whatever for whatever reason form a proper relationship with you. You check all her boxes but aren’t good enough for her to date. So she ends up keeping you around as she is rebuilding herself for the next relationship (monkey branching). It’s a way for them to avoid risk that comes with hooking up randomly. It’s their secret way of keeping their body count down.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:39 PM
7

Work a job that you can focus on. Then find a meet up and attend it regularly. Friendships form from repetition.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:15 PM
7

FWB is a legend. In my experience FWB means being forgotten till the two or three days a month that a woman is horniest. Then your whole life is supposed to be derailed for raunchy, degrading, and often period sex. It’s fun only if you honestly don’t care whether the person exists until it’s time to f-ck. The OP will not benefit from that relationship. Most men don’t cause it’s an open liability.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:14 PM
1

This is a lot of text. You know. Then divorce and move on. Act quickly, logically and calculated as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 04:59 PM
1

Then sounds like you might need to move stateside and fight for full custody. Pretty obvious choice either way. Assuming you haven’t given up on your child.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 06:08 PM
1

Sounds like Spain can wait. But the choice is ultimately yours to make and live with.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 05:35 PM
1

My son is the same exact age. I fought for a year in court cause the ex wanted to move away with a degenerate. In debt to my gills but I protected him and get a chance at seeing him grow. It’s my cross to bear. My 2 cents cowboy sounds like you’re trying to avoid picking up your cross.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 05:18 PM
2

How old is you kiddo? If she’s impressionable (0-16) you need to fight and attempt to shield her from that. I despise feminism but even I can see that this totally submissive stuff sounds like hugely bad thing!
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 05:02 PM
1

?
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 12:32 PM
3

I had a stable job of 7 years and left it to to play captain save a h -- . I put her and my kid first even when friends and coworkers told me I should leave her. It was that obvious. My road since 7 jobs in two years. I’m on the way to see if I can afford a McMuffin and socks with these maxed out credit cards. I’ll send you an IM as we got a Dale and Brennan Stepbrothers vibe going hermano!
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 12:26 PM
1

First voting and proper legal protections. Second social equality. Third about destroying the patriarch.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 11:42 AM
1

The third wave Thanks to the institutional victories of second-wave feminism, women enjoyed more rights and power going into the 1990s. They were able to think about other aspects of their identity, welcoming individuality and rebellion. This was an era of reclaiming. Important cultural touchstones include Eve Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues, the Guerilla Girls, and punk rock riot grrls. Many women more freely expressed their sexuality in how they spoke, dressed, and acted. While many ideas and m…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 11:41 AM
3

Welcome to my exact world!
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 11:03 PM
0

Women are the scum. They need to deflect while we suffer from their abuses. Welcome to the club.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 11:02 PM
2

I underestimated the likelihood of this outcome. Had the home, job and all figured what could go wrong. Life lesson learned.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 04:23 PM
2

I choose creator and fight. My fight is a broken career path with no continuation and people who see my potential but wonder if all the red flags are worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 12:49 PM
2

Definitely get that sentiment! May y’all have as much happiness and joy as this life allows. Congratulations!
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 04:51 AM
1

Congratulations and best wishes!
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 03:10 AM
2

Least amount of drama my dude my 2 cents
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 01:36 AM
2

Having a kid was once something we aspired to. Now it’s a liability.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 10:43 PM
1

Make sure he doesn’t have massive issues like a felon etc. That’s a big red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 10:42 PM
1

This is 100 accurate! They want to erode all masculinity. That’s why the Bud Light thing blew up. They are trying to abolish men.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 10:41 PM
2

Your dad was a wise man! This is the type of education many of us needed. It would have changed many lives!
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 10:40 PM
3

Ran into a protest in Little Rock on a father son trip but hard to protest when we don’t even build communities to support one another. A couple of Reddit forums is all I ever see
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 07:25 PM
8

They got some people paying child support for kids they aren’t biological parents to after denying them a DNA test. How is that not cruel and unusual punishment?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 06:46 PM
9

Agreed on all of these points. I lived it and am now trying to rebuild yet again! There should be meet ups for divorced men in every city for this reason!
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 06:44 PM
6

Thanks for the empathy. There’s layers to both our stories. I’m 50/50 no CS but that was something that was endangered and had to be fought to preserve leading to this massive debt.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 06:25 PM
5

I think about that from the perspective of the third wave feminists who created this. They want you to leave by design so that they can destroy our kids uninterrupted. To remove masculinity from our sons and to breed rampant promiscuity in our daughters. None of us as men have the luxury of entrusting the upbringing of our children to modern American women. I fought to protect mine from the evil of this system and my gift is my fair share of time and crushing debt that will take years to get out…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 07:36 PM
5

“Blinding anger towards me….enemies in an instant. Goes out of her way to make it.” Cheating spouses project emotion. They feel frustration that you won’t leave and allow them to enjoy their affair or affairs. My money is she trying to push you away before you find out and have your heart ripped apart. We have all been there. What are you waiting for? Women are hardwired to love male independence, spiritual toughness, and adventure seeking behavior. Think of Hemingway, London, Churchill, Cervant…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 10:10 AM
1

Must be nice. Mine has been a mess.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 12:24 PM
1

I did also fold but she was a grade a pos
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 05:23 PM
2

We all have a chance. Didn’t say it was a good chance. People play lottery tickets, scratchies, and gamble with worst odds of winning. I teach and have heard kids for a decade say I’m a be a pro football player. I always thought they were crazy until I had one of the least likeliest become a first round pick in the NFL draft. Never say something isn’t possible. It may be unlikely but it’s not impossible unless you never try.
/r/seduction29/10/22 04:17 AM
3

I’ve honestly never thought I’d have a chance with really hot women which is fine cause most guys don’t, I’ve always just wanted someone normal looking (I.e., someone effeminate who takes care of themselves). People have always told me I look fine but until recently I never realized they’re just trying to make me feel better. Thanks for being honest.
/r/seduction29/10/22 02:26 AM
2

Bruh. Drop the magazines and media portrayals of fitness. Never compare yourself to someone else. You need to beat your own records and accomplishments. You don’t know their life maybe they are all jacked up happiness, life expectancy. So who cares if the chick at the gym cares. I literally have farted on equipment at the gym and offered it to beautiful women. No one is better than anyone else. They probably didn’t even wipe their butts properly and are doing squats yet you’re worried about thei…
/r/seduction29/10/22 02:21 AM
2

This dude! Bruh. You have all the physical traits to smash a healthy amount of women. Stop trashing yourself. You have to unconditionally love yourself. Women are attracted to men who are secure and confident in themselves. How can they feel truly loved and respected by someone who doesn’t love and respect himself? The rest is technicals. Seal landed Heidi Klum and he is not winning any awards for good looks. You have to step up. Stop making excuses.
/r/seduction29/10/22 02:16 AM
1

Indiana University https://newsinfo.iu.edu/news-archive/18977.html
/r/seduction25/10/22 01:18 AM
-3

It’s at same rate of incidence. There’s no difference between genders.
/r/seduction25/10/22 12:11 AM
-5

Unfaithful wives cheat on business trips, actually all trips that they are unaccompanied. It’s easy but got to wear that on your conscience etv
/r/seduction24/10/22 09:28 PM
1

Controversial opinion: Most women don’t mature they become more stable. Women are inherently mature or they are not. Focus on you.
/r/seduction17/10/22 12:59 PM
4

Yes. Yes they are. That’s why they fight every male spokesman. Tate, Goggins, Jocko, the late Kevin Samuels, each called some vile things to tear down any sort of male identity. Women are planning on taking over the world “boss b”, hypergamy, them all throwing themselves at 10% of men, while “settling on the rest” and initiating nearly 90% of divorces and demolishing us as dads in family courts. Even when we win we win drastically less than a woman would get. Stop living in this bubble of utopia…
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 03:46 PM
2

This is what got me also. You have to make it a point to interact if even superficially with the world. Human interaction is essential!
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 05:11 PM
5

Get you on the narcissist, weed, and adhd stuff. Plus the amount of time (17 years here). The falling in love while divorcing (which im happy but cautious) and the way your breaking your assets that both concern me. Get therapy and a decent lawyer. You have a lot to process. Do not rush the process.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 04:35 AM
5

No it’s tough going. But my story is different from the norm. Ymmv
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 09:43 PM
3

I’m just a guy who watched $45k go up in smoke in 6 months to fight for his kid cause the ex-wife wanted to move in with a pos that endangered my child. We all haven’t had cheap fairy tale divorces
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 12:27 PM
2

Yes! I consider divorce a life altering event having gone through it and subsequent follow up legal challenges related to divorce. It’s best to fly the plane to its runway than to hit the divorce ejection seat which can and may make life even harder.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:26 PM
5

Sounds like there is imho
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:23 PM
3

Exactly. The family courts are built to victimize us fathers and this dude is thinking that his emotions are going to justify putting his family through this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:22 PM
6

Exactly! Mine tried to make that very argument. This dudes not getting how much more treacherous divorce can be for men.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:21 PM
5

Dude it’s your get there itis? Your comments read like you are subliminally thinking banging a 20 year old chick is an upgrade. A functioning family takes work. You spotting the wife time to hit the gym? Are you meal prepping for both? Are you listening to audiobooks with her on road trips? All of this is easier than 50/50 custody with daycare ripping you off. And your ex inevitably finding a dude that may cause you problems.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:20 PM
5

That’s my exact thought process. OP might be in a place he’s not happy on account of things that may have nothing to do with his spouse
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:11 PM
3

Or maybe she’s a mom of three kids. I think you might be projecting here. You need to be less me and more y’all in this. I would rather save you tens of thousands of dollars by challenging your motivation for doing this. If I’m right i added years to your life by eliminating years of baby mama drama.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:10 PM
5

I think he’s not happy with himself and may be looking at divorce as a misguided easy out. Literally shooting your else in the foot in spite of your toe.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:07 PM
8

Dude you need to evaluate you. It sounds like you may be unhappy with yourself and are using divorce as a get out of accountability to you card. You need to be the change agent in your lives. I divorced mine because she was cheating with a bunch of people. I was the financially beneficial party in mine and still wouldn’t recommend getting divorced unless she has checked out. This is not the easy solution to your problems.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 10:05 PM
1

That’s when they get a shit stepdad to step in and do all the work. My ex-wife did this and a lot of women do.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 01:47 PM
1

Green lights highly recommend
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 02:38 AM
3

Dude. I will do my best but not gonna front I need the Cliffnotes version.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 01:29 AM
3

I love weed! I got a custody bullshit happening that put a halt to it. I miss banging the ex while high. We were like drugged out rabbits. Some of the best sex of my life
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 12:38 AM
6

Get exercise, cue stuff to watch, and read if you don’t have kids. An audiobook while cleaning is dope. Play a record or album a day etc
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 12:37 AM
1

Dude been there. This is a roller coaster of shit. You’re at peak crap and will feel good until your next terrifying and draining moment. It does not magically stop. It gradually loses momentum like any other ride and you will see your peace and humanity return. This is infinitely easier if you don’t have kids or you’re ex is not a degenerate of a human being
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 12:15 AM
3

Good riddance!! Congratulations! If she don’t want you and you were a good dude then f- -k her! We need to be more celebratory around here when people post things here. This “woe is me” mentality needs to be redirected toward positive energy. Your battles ahead are gonna test you. Your emotions here will hurt but dammit you gained your freedom, your independence from her horse- -it and abuse. Rebuild yourself and fight forward. I’m fighting for my son and my life post divorce from my evil ex-spo…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 01:12 PM
3

Now you get to meet the next level boss: ex-wife.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 11:55 PM
2

Exactly on the affair/affairs. OP needs to pull his head out of his ass. She’s been playing him
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 06:47 PM
14

Dude she’s cheating on you. This is what women do to redeem themselves from the guilt they should have for cheating. They blame you and call out your “supposed faults” to justify their actions. She said she wanted out and you ignored that. Some people say I’m wrong but not a single woman will have such a lack of respect for you without idolizing some POS Casanova as a “real man”. Get out now.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 06:46 PM
5

Stop talking divorce and move on before you get her pregnant or get assets she can screw you out of.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 12:15 PM
1

What I’m going to say will probably come across wrong and get me down voted but here goes. No disrespect but seriously. “Who cares?” 80% of separations end in divorce. I can’t think of a single situation in which the pro-woman family courts even cared about adultery. You’re worried about something that doesn’t matter in the end. What you need to worry about is building a life outside of your connection to her. Your past marriage life is finished. The faster you can register that reality the fast…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 09:28 PM
2

If you have done counseling. If you have honestly tried up to this point. File and move on. The first time is enough. No further talks necessary. This is like ripping off a bandaid.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 01:41 PM
10

You said too much and did too much. We all are guilty of it. I could go back in time I would have ditched mine immediately. Instead I wanted closure and to be sure. To feel restored in my righteousness. In the end it hurt more than helped. Just walk away, no words, no actions. Be Clint Eastwood.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 01:02 PM
1

No worries. Just in case. Here’s the link: https://www.teamslf.com/the-childrens-bill-of-rights-in-texas/
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 02:50 AM
3

If it’s in Texas it’s a violation of their kids rights. Can bring it up in court if it’s that important to you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 02:34 AM
7

We lasted 1 1/2 before she reopened ours.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 10:49 PM
5

Dude, I learned that things can be even worse than we imagine at times. I discovered the property and learned while doing so that the man she is seeing and trying to build a life with is a registered sex offender with several convictions for child related offenses. This responses to this post has given me the chance to identify this massive threat to my child’s safety and well being. I am middle of ongoing proceedings but plan on sharing my experiences when these proceedings conclude.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 02:20 PM
2

Get used to it. She will continue to disappoint you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 03:35 PM
1

I’m gonna bring this up with my attorney on our next meeting.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 01:03 AM
1

Because the cost of doing so at the time. She is trying to counter an established decree. She cited financial issues and I did begin a discovery process. My law firm also dropped the ball big time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 01:00 AM
3

I’m hoping to get a positive outcome. It’s that surreal of a moment.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 12:39 AM
2

Yes that’s all solid advice! Appreciate it!!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 10:30 PM
3

That’s a good point I need to look into as well!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 10:30 PM
3

Yes. All good points! I did a reverse number lookup and it pulled her and her boyfriend together. This means they have some sort of documented connection. Could be just a emergency contact. But I have a hunch she might have got financially involved with him. The dude by the way multiples liens on what looks like multiple women and CS.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 09:18 PM
5

Yes sir!
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 08:43 PM
1

If you need to really know dm me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 08:31 PM
5

I ran through both. No luck. It would have come from probably savings or a 401k loan or withdrawal.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 08:11 PM
7

I’m assuming that’s what she did. No clue but my pessimism has never led me wrong.
/r/seduction28/06/22 04:25 AM
1

Exactly. Neither do I. But have some anxiety that I want to wear out.
/r/seduction28/06/22 04:20 AM
-8

I’m not initiating contact. I refuse to. I removed her from my mind till she reached out. Now I care only asI do not like to pass up pussy.
/r/seduction28/06/22 04:18 AM
5

That’s why I went no contact. She’s too crazy though the sex was fun!
/r/seduction28/06/22 04:16 AM
3

Correct. I made the mistake of trying to find answers and closure. Never look for these things. Ever. Just cut and run once confirmed. Do not do marriage counseling. The victim I’m these cases (like I did schedules the appointments and fights the “partner” to go.) Reconciliation can only happen when they respect you. When they have to fight months for you and come to fully realize what they have lost.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 12:45 AM
3

Five reasons: Random guy 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 My ex-spouse was a covert narcissist. The “kind” version of this story: She developed PPD (Post Partum). She traveled for work and cheated. Found “happiness” which led to sex addiction. Rest of story is typical discovery, to failed reconciliation, to me filing for divorce. The harsh but probably all too real version. She cheated on me for almost two decades. I will never know the true count of men which I am conservatively putting around 7-12. Yes, I have b…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 11:33 PM
2

What’s up dude?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 09:26 PM
2

You will make it. Those kids need you. Everyone of us has been here. You’re marital relationship is over. The sooner you transition to the new new the faster your adaptation will happen. Avoid alcohol and use weed sparingly my 2 cents mmv.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 11:17 PM
1

She can’t join active duty as a single parent. The reserves are less stringent. Not sure where people are getting the idea that the military is single parent tolerant.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 07:53 PM
1

Dude she can finish an enlistment or contract out. The reserve elements will accept her but active duty military will not. Period. The needs of the branches come first. Not sure we’re your getting your notion from.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 07:50 PM
1

Agreed to many men are slow to grasp that the person they loved at one time will become the greatest obstacle to success and stability imaginable.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 07:34 PM
2

The Marines won’t take her as a single parent. Not sure about other branches. The needs of the USMC come before troop welfare. Always.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 03:54 PM
3

He’s not going to accept CS? Why? Take it as she would not hesitate to take it from him if the tables were turned.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 03:53 PM
3

Let her join! The military is great on child support issues! Make sure you have the following: Birth certificates with both your names Her social security number Her date of birth Her recruiting station address and if possible recruiter They will need that to file the cs petition and get it approved.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 03:47 PM
1

Don’t know but have always wondered this. Sent you the customary DM.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 02:38 PM
2

If she has her name on the mortgage then nothing
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 01:05 AM
5

Yessir! Call it!
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 12:41 AM
2

Yes. Women need to be lining up for us. But every simp out there goes begging these women to pay their cs and bills.
/r/seduction16/06/22 12:00 AM
1

Dude why you asking just do it. Your sex drives will match and you’ll be in heaven. All 40 year old women want to do is have sex. All the damn time. I have always had a high sex drive, multiple times a night/day etc, but it is waining in my 40’s. I have lost girlfriends my age because I wanted to focus on the relationship instead of being a sex donkey. That’s why I’m after a woman that’s 22-30 when women sex drives are conducive to relationships. After that window you got to wait till post menop…
/r/seduction15/06/22 12:36 PM
-4

Classic simp behavior. Real men don’t listen to this dude.
/r/seduction13/06/22 08:43 PM
4

Bro women convince themselves their victims while being serial cheaters. They don’t need a lawyer to show them. It’s in their programming
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 04:11 PM
2

Yeah I get you on that! I usually date em before that etc.
/r/seduction11/06/22 01:51 AM
2

I almost never use condoms. I know I should but just somehow never do.
/r/seduction11/06/22 01:19 AM
1

Because you care what they think. Until a woman has earned my trust she’s as meaningless to me as a random dog or cat. Treat them that way and poof no anxiety. Once they earned your trust anxiety doesn’t exist unless your some beta simp or something.
/r/seduction09/06/22 11:56 PM
2

Two or three months for every year together to forget her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 08:45 PM
2

Yeah you messed up bro
/r/seduction09/06/22 05:08 PM
1

Bro that’s a lot to unpack. You getting therapy on the regular that’s too much for any man to handle
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 03:38 AM
1

Oh you got a younger kiddo. My apologies missed that detail. Keep fighting brother!
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 04:50 AM
3

Dude you got a year or less to go. Your divorced dad war is coming to an end. What’s she going to do at this point? Really? Rent the house and take a gap year. Text your son pictures let him know you love and miss him. Why are you letting her get in your head on the home stretch. My son is 7.5 I dream every night of being where you are so I don’t have to ever worry about his mom ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 11:13 PM
2

He’s our hero. They tried to screw him and he clapped back.
/r/seduction07/06/22 11:09 PM
0

Sounds like your a lesbian on the wrong forum. Why you used the female emoji? If your a lesbian no biggie but don’t be coming around here throwing shade at men
/r/seduction07/06/22 08:53 PM
0

How dare you bro! We say these things cause we lived and seen them time and time again. You should join us and climb down that simp high horse you are riding.
/r/seduction07/06/22 08:49 PM
6

Thank you. Everything you said beyond true. As a divorced dad this damn near had me crying. The crazy part is that they would label you an “incel” a “narcissist” or “passive aggressive” for calling them on their bs.
/r/seduction07/06/22 08:47 PM
2

This is absurd. I am genuinely sorry your going through this crap. Just unbelievable dude. Somebody has to create a go fund me for divorced dads legal fees. Knowing this crazy country we are in the feminists will try and say we can’t support each other’s fight. PS: I have lost a ton of respect for lesbians once someone here explained the concept of bearding to me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 08:36 PM
1

I fought like hell to avoid that. Four separate buy offers and a potential job loss at closing. Now that I built stability for my little dude guess who wants to move an hour to an hour and a half away to be with a guy? She is on the verge of putting our son in a worse school district in a less stable neighborhood. It never gets easier with ex-wives. You just have to find a way to either fight and/or overcome their bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 08:31 PM
2

That was me and still is me. We worked a decade together to buy the perfect home in the perfect neighborhood and then she caught infidelity. The trips abroad never worrying about finances is what I miss. If she weren’t the mother of my child I would wish her only the worst in life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 08:26 PM
1

That was me and still is me. We worked a decade together to buy the perfect home in the perfect neighborhood and then she caught infidelity. The trips abroad never worrying about finances is what I miss. If she weren’t the mother of my child I would wish her only the worst in life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 08:16 PM
2

Solid advice!
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 05:07 AM
3

Be epic. Book a ticket to a city you neither have been to. Make sure she doesn’t have any events etc beforehand. Rent a crazy car on Turo and toss her the keys only condition is that you have to tag along “to keep the car safe” etc. People become accustomed and teenagers become dismissive when they become accustomed. Take her out of her element
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 05:06 AM
3

That’s the hardest part to get used to. I struggled with it and even dated to avoid it. But in the end you can’t. You have to face your demons and you have to find a meaning, order, and purpose. Avoid drugs and alcohol as they have kicked my butt as well as many others. Take time and feel the breeze go on road trips on your own etc.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 05:01 AM
1

Why can’t you do an apartment if owning a home is impossible?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 03:12 PM
1

I love that. A single elementary is phenomenal. I know Seattle is absurd for real estate but as a 50/50 JCM it doesn’t get better than that. That lawyer is a damn good one my 2 cents
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 03:11 PM
3

I went 50/50 with a loose geographic restriction. It’s costing me tens of thousands to fight now. Lesson if you are about to go 50/50 JCM never except anything bigger than a single county restriction.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 03:10 PM
1

She didn’t get the judge to agree to it. You just didn’t outspend her. Money talks in these things.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 03:08 PM
2

This type of abusive gender based nonsense is why I have been suspicious of allowing homosexuals from having kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 03:07 PM
2

Wow! This is like a Netflix show! A beard and long term plan. To use him and his benefits? I’m beyond intrigued. This is a new dimension of ex-wife treachery that I can’t even comprehend. Just when I thought that women couldn’t get any shadier. How did you learn about this type of behavior?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 03:05 PM
3

Correct. Mental health is my concern. Guns are awesome but if someone is mentally unstable they can be very unforgiving in their efficiency.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:39 PM
2

No. Bad advice. Suicide is a major problem in our community. OP is in Japan so not an option but anyone reading this should really reconsider buying a gun for at least a year or more following a divorce. If you own them be hyper vigilant of your mental state etc.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:38 PM
3

Glad to help. You got this hermano. It sucks. It’s not easy. You are not crazy these emotions are very much real. Sorry, if I came on harsh. Just got worried that you were in a spot ready to do something that would harm your situation. Stay cool you got this just another emotional mosquito bite. It will be healed and gone before you even realize.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:35 PM
3

Been there done that. Was down to my last three k before the divorce funds transferred. Lived in an apartment <5 minutes away. Most of us here have similar experiences. We all have been there or are there currently. Over time you will forget her. Time heals wounds. Just don’t do or say anything stupid or crazy that she can use against you. You should have a heart to heart that your daughter didn’t herself inform you of her plans to go abroad. That for me is a bigger concern than your ex’s action…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:24 PM
3

If nobody is there then why are you? I pick up and drop my son from the bus stop in front of my ex’s house 10 days or so a month (she bought me out). I go surf the web on my phone, catch a YouTube video etc. At first I had the emotions you did. But learned to disassociate that from my mind. You got to find a way to do the same. You are driving yourself nuts dude. We all have been there.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:13 PM
7

Dude all due respect. Are you OJ Simpson? Why are you driving by her house? Is that the only route home? Why do you live in the exact same neighborhood? Reassess your mindset and actions. She’s got a lot of free rent in your head. I’m usually supportive of us as divorced dads but you are blurring lines. She is not communicating at all my 2 cents. But if I’m getting these vibes from your described actions. I can’t imagine what she’s thinking. Move on dude.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:01 PM
2

No. You just forget they exist.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 02:32 AM
2

Head west toward New Mexico and Arizona. San Antonio makes does places possible. I’m in Houston El Paso as you know is closer to Los Angeles than Houston.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 12:26 PM
3

Road trips. Here’s how I do it: Create a list of cities you want 1 per night. NYC, LA are the only ones i devote more time to. Google map the route using add destination for each city. Then Google (name of city things to do). As long as your logged in click you are able to save places. Their is your loose itinerary. Go to Google maps. Look up the city. Click hotels. There is a list with prices, and ratings you can book from there. If you are cost conscious camping grounds and your car are suitab…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 12:23 PM
1

We had one and now she initiated a petition. Fight for everything now so you won’t fight later.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 08:47 PM
3

It’s powerful you mentioned that! That’s how I felt after my son was born. I can’t watch The Pursuit of Happiness scene with the Time Machine as a dad. Didn’t hurt to watch it before he was born but it’s too tough now mentally. The ability to grasp the meaning of art is born from our need to understand our own painful reality. Divorce is tough but it has one unintended blessing. It opens our hearts.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 05:23 PM
2

Thanks. I thought the exact same. It was super sketchy and insanely pushy but I didn’t want to be impolite.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 04:14 PM
1

I did
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 02:36 PM
1

Ok.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 02:29 PM
1

Ok will do so thanks for the recommendation
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 02:06 PM
1

I didn’t want to say that to someone whose hurting and seeking our help but this is one of those moments that OP needs to come to terms with his ex-wife’s emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 01:45 PM
2

Agreed! Just didn’t want to have him out there looking for closure. In these things their usually isn’t any. That and the answer hurts so much that it’s counterproductive to dig into things.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 01:25 AM
9

Exactly. This only serves her needs. OP is about to learn the hard way.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 01:04 AM
7

This is exactly what’s happening! No doubt. Good description.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 01:03 AM
7

Don’t ask. She’s already made up her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 01:03 AM
12

Divorce now. She’s just trying to send you a massive hint before she files. Mine did this and I didn’t recognize it for what it was. Would have changed my life had I known better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 01:02 AM
5

Yep. Women pull that mental gymnastic stuff. Exactly!
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 07:56 PM
9

Serial cheating without genuine remorse was my line. Women are the real narcissists. Good job calling them out brother!
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 07:55 PM
1

Oh I get you! I was about 80% sure I didn’t need a kid. She practically guilt tripped me into it. I was curious about it and my son is amazing. But she became pure evil dude.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 04:49 AM
1

Same here!
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 04:47 AM
7

You are right. It’s like women lost the maternal gene this past generation or so. My son is the same age. Made sure to talk to him about it as we are waiting on or car to charge at the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 03:02 AM
8

Exactly! Probably something calling out that 90% of divorces are initiated by women.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/22 11:49 PM
3

It’s all part of the process hermano! Keep the faith you are stronger than you realize. The bipolar investor dude is right.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 06:38 PM
2

Hearing that and believing that are two different things. But you are absolutely correct!
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 06:37 PM
3

That’s how it breaks. Feel the numbness on finding out. I broke it down and Malcolm Gladwell’s Default to Truth resonated. Don’t kick yourself as you trusted a person and they let you down. Your grandfather is my type of dude.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 06:35 PM
22

Tough to process. You got this dude. One day at a time. She meant a lot to you as did my then spouse of nearly two decades. We travelled the world and built a life together. Then bam it was gone. It will take you a while to get to a point where it doesn’t bother you anymore. Do not rush the process. Embrace the suck. DO NOT BLOW UP. She will use it against you if you have kids etc.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 01:07 PM
2

It’s not about the body count. Congrats on 20 though! I thought my 7 in 18 months was excessive. I didn’t practice safe sex hopefully you were better than I was at it. Prostitutes are an empty hole. The gf experience things IMHO it’s about the need to be hugged and heard. That’s what he means by gf experience. They simulate someone acknowledging and caring you exist. For some men it’s a necessary middle ground. Having to learn to be in a relationship again. There is no judgement or expectations …
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 01:01 PM
4

You are a greater man than you realize! I stayed and fought to reconcile with an evil ex-spouse who cared nothing for the harm her actions caused not just me but our only son. We waited 15 years to create a life and she chose bs over that life. I moved out and I struggle to this day. Your little one loves you but you have to learn to love yourself! We get you here emotionally dude. Fight your fight! May GOD bless you with a lifetime of joy through this toughest of moments!
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 12:55 PM
6

You will never stop feeling this way. What happens is that you feel it less and less intently overtime. Healing takes time. That’s why this subreddit exists. It saved my life and it will help you on your journey. Sounds all cliche but it works. Celebrate the best of your past but always build forward. Road trip the kids your new adventures! Sleep is your healer lights out as early as possible. Put on a decent length song (6-10 minutes, mine is the Interstellar Theme, Murph said she never doubted…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 12:49 PM
2

Yep this. Resist dadmac! Post divorce mine wanted me to watch our son during her business trips. The same business trips I caught her serial cheating in when married. My reaction GTFOH, AYCB?
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 12:30 PM
2

Brother glad to meet another survivor of a serial cheating ex-wife. It destroyed me and has been a long journey back to regaining my self worth, self esteem, and overcoming trust issues. How are you on your journey?
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 12:27 PM
1

I told mine: “why don’t you call one of those random guys you were banging behind my back to take care of that?” That’s a polite version for y’all. I have since grown. She is now claiming financial stress as a reason to move out of decree. The same stress I fought during reconciliation to avoid in the future. See a pattern OP? Which she then didn’t care about as she chose to stroll like an alley cat back to one of her tomcats. (I caught her before her trip, she probably still did anyway). But no…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 12:19 PM
2

I got 50/50 custody also. No CS, JCM, etc. Try not to stay in a house that’s toxic unless for some weird reason you state is lame and requires it. she will resent you and will make getting a strong decree hard. Only thing I dropped was giving my crazy ex continuous counties. Fighting to correct that mistake now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/22 02:17 AM
3

You’re gonna hire an appraiser. She will probably not trust you and hire her own. The appraisals will come out to the exact same amount. Assuming equity In a rising market you buy her out. In a sinking market you fight to have her buy you out. No equity leave it on her. To paraphrase the Wolf of Wall Street: Grizzled divorced dad: “The name of the divorce man’s game, is moving the money from your wife’s pocket to your pocket.” Married but divorcing : “But if you can make your spouse money at the…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/22 02:13 AM
3

In Texas I left early to avoid picking up a felony from being around her. It didn’t matter house went 50/50. She bought me out. Confirm with an attorney
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 09:23 PM
1

Female. I had a good experience with our divorce with a female attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 12:01 AM
8

I love my son and completely get you. I’m just getting to finally form a bond with him at 7. The ex-wife is of course doing her best to destroy that also. Modern day fatherhood is a sacrifice of our identity. As I typed this I had to stop mid sentence because I got stung at the playground. First day recovered from the COVID I caught at a kids bday party.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/22 12:48 AM
3

I was there dude. It doesn’t get easier. People will tell you to be level headed but who honestly can. Do not treat this lightly. Consider it her first if not only indication of future action. You can begin to look into post partum depression and provide her additional support. Do not, however, from this point forward tule out that she will file. Be a caring, loving husband and father but never let your comfort level set in.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 04:21 PM
1

Don’t forgive her. Forget her like the tree you pass to work and not notice.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 06:03 AM
1

Do it my now. My biggest regret was being patient, reasonable, and duty bound with someone who was “traveling for business”. She was getting railed every chance she could and would mock me to her friends. When I separated two in private conversations said that it was incredible the amount of hatred she had towards me. They defended me to her eventually learned to tune her out. Now this swamp creature wants to uproot my son’s life after he fought and found peace, relationships, and joy. Women are…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 05:57 AM
1

Love you bro! You literally described everything I’m going through. I can’t imagine how guys go through this without Reddit groups like ours here.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 02:25 PM
1

When during the reconciliation she had this miserable look on her face during a video call. My son was happy to see me with his adorable smile. The look of someone who despised me (she cheated on me with 6-10 guys) for existing made it clear it was over.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 02:11 PM
1

To reduce expenses and that her job is remote meaning that it makes her able to live anywhere. She has the same job and remote status that she had when she signed the divorce decree 18 months ago. If anything she has had pay raises and bonuses since then. There are thousands of housing options already at cheaper prices with no significant savings in moving. Also arguing that increasing the distance between my son and I as well as changing schools would be “in his best” interest.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 08:33 AM
2

I looked at the document she ended up the primary and I the secondary. Had I been less emotional back then I would have contested it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 04:26 AM
1

No job offer. Same employer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 04:24 AM
1

That’s the language I will discuss strongly pursuing with my lawyer!
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 08:32 PM
1

Exactly you are right on all that. We are currently 50-50 which has been incredibly challenging at times. I live ten minutes away currently and her attorney had the balls to say that I wouldn’t be harmed in my time with my son by expanding the restrictions to include places that are an hour away across a city the size of Connecticut!
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 08:31 PM
1

Yessir. I’m on it. Tearing the petition apart with every bit of information possible to present my attorney tomorrow. If she gets her way she effectively eliminates me from his life. Then would come her attempt to extort me for child support by having rendered a co-parenting relationship impossible.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 08:27 PM
1

Yes! Thank you. Just the emotional turmoil she caused with this selfish and pointless petition alone is enough for me. My son and I salvaged a weekend somehow while I dealt with this. I will burn money as it going to serve as a firm reminder of there needing to be limits. I never pursued a relationship with people outside the five counties for this very reason. She chose otherwise and now expects us all conform to her disregard for a standing legal document.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 05:07 PM
3

This is the way. The more feedback I get the more outrageous this stunt of hers is. Fits a pattern of unconscionable behavior in which she has continuously acted against our son’s best interest.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 05:04 PM
1

I have to review the document but I believe she might have ceded that to me as I was a school teacher for 10 years. I didnt even think of this. This is a good point! How can that help here?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 12:26 PM
1

So in this instance it sounds like she has an incredibly, incredibly generous decree in place. I will hold my ground. As the school district resonated strongly with me. I don’t want him to switch school districts period.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 11:44 AM
3

Thanks will add this to the list of changes I will petition for. It’s going to be a pointless war. I don’t want it and my son is vehement he doesn’t want to move and lose his friends. What anger’s me most is this is his life so far: 0-2: She’s distant with PPD 2-3.5- Growing chaos at home as she was taking fake business trips and extending real ones to cheat with close to a dozen men. 3.5- 4.5 - Chaos at home she is caught and during the “reconciliation” period is caught trying to cheat again. 5…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 09:34 AM
1

Will do. Thanks for the encouragement!
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 09:17 AM
2

I’m going to take the hard route. The decree is generous as I spoke with someone who has a single county. You guys are correct. I’m done being steamrolled by her.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 05:07 AM
1

Currently 50-50
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 05:05 AM
1

She has communicated to me that she wants to move almost two hours away. My opinion is that she is currently dating a guy and has become codependent. Meaning that she would uproot my sons life to be with him.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 02:25 AM
3

Yes. This would have saved me so much grief and anguish. Great advice!
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 02:02 AM
2

That’s heartbreaking dude. You telling me to keep my head up is a powerful reminder. You are right. We’ll weather this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 03:36 AM
3

Amen! Thank you for the wisdom hermano. In my darkest hour I am still standing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 12:10 AM
2

Thanks I’m in a better place at this time. It was like getting hit so damn hard you can’t breathe. You are right in everything you said. I got to David Goggins this. It’s another mess to toughen me. To realign me. My biggest mistake was envisioning what my parents had without realizing that none of it was guaranteed.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 12:09 AM
1

Thanks. I feel the same. One foot in front now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 10:43 PM
1

Thank you. It’s common sense but my mind struggles to grasp it sometimes. You are right. I am tougher than this moment. It was my breaking point.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 10:43 PM
2

Agreed on everything you said. It was the thought of losing 50% of my time with him that was a punch to my chest. We been through so much and I’m finally seeing him growing from a kid to a man. Reframed my mind for now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 10:37 PM
4

Yes. He’s my everything. I just get this damn isolation, depression, and lack of work stability. I finally after two years found a good patch.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 08:44 PM
3

Don’t buy it. Mine is trying to relocate outside of the decree area. They all speak that until their new guy wants them to upend your kids and by extension your life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 12:32 AM
8

I am with you 100% this shit is emotionally and physically draining. We had it all solid incomes that put us near the top of the joint income bracket. Traveling the world. Talking about buying rental properties. Building a massive inheritance for our child and paying for his schooling! Crushing it. Only to find she prioritized banging a bunch of random men and gaslighting me over it. She traded all that for - ? I know it don’t mean shit from a dude on the internet but keep your head up bro! Depr…
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/22 12:28 AM
2

Yep.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 02:01 AM
5

Agreed I gave up child support as a dad when I didn’t identify this very issue correctly.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 04:29 PM
1

I’m 41 and have slept with 20 or so women with a lot of those being relationships. 20 doesn’t seem like a lot but I was married 18 years. I’m like Farmers I have seen a thing or two. Send me this “9” you speak of. I’ll give her my 9 blow that disrespectful back out and send her back to you. Keep your head up. You’re new to the broker game kid.
/r/seduction15/03/22 10:00 AM
1

Yep. She turned out to be cheating for years at that point.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 08:56 PM
1

Duh this dude.
/r/seduction02/01/22 05:53 AM
1

Dating apps beg to differ with your viewpoint. JS
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/21 06:12 AM
3

I am closing on a house while fighting to keep a job long enough to accept the other. My goal is a a house so my son can know that even though me and mom split that he has roots. It’s hard as hell. Everyday sitting with the noose on my future like this. I get you on that. You didn’t ask for the battle but you will fight it to the fullest. Unless you were cheating on her which most of us didn’t. Keep your head up bro
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/21 11:22 PM
1

It’s not about being a victim it’s about not taking the entire weight of something on yourself. Could we all change? Yep. But to say it’s all our fault is ridiculous
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/21 07:42 PM
2

Bro blame the victim? Really? Maybe just maybe she didn’t know what commitment meant? Maybe the person here -like many of us - tried everything to make it work. How dare you bro.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 08:48 PM
2

Mine had several guys. A roster. So yes you are not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 08:46 PM
3

Correct not easy and not guaranteed but yes.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 02:29 AM
3

I am tight on income and living through this pandemic so have probably been using women instead of doing all those things. You are right in the end on all that. Just have to find a way to escape the mental
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/21 02:08 AM
28

That’s exactly what my ex-spouse did. Figured, I would “forgive her” she just didn’t realize that while she was messing around in the sheets that I was calculating spreadsheets.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen17/01/21 12:18 PM
25

I’m currently in that possible divorce phase. This is how women talk to one another within their “circles”. I think you might be a little cheery eyed. “Girls trips” = sex free for all’s. Where they can act like degenerate men seeking out pieces of asses to plow.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/08/20 03:40 PM
2

Yep
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/08/20 03:26 PM
10

Agreed chico!
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/08/20 03:25 PM
21

Dude. You should see these unfaithful female spouses. This is par for course.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/08/20 03:23 PM
44

Feminists are female apologists. Half the shady shit women pull there’s a feminist there to sweep bs.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/08/20 03:21 PM
8

Nope 24 hour lab test. Cotton swab took all of two seconds.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/08/20 03:19 PM
5

I did long story. Same type of worries. I recommend all dads do.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen01/08/20 03:19 PM
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