Kill myself

Only-Band7737 · 2024-02-26T03:43:35+00:00

Fuck her, you have a lot of great moments waiting for you. You’re in the thick of it now but you will feel like yourself again.

Shawn008 · 2024-02-25T20:35:41+00:00

I was in your shoes before. It absolutely does get better but you gotta learn to create a life of yourself that’s not dependent at all on anyone to be in it, except your kids - build those relationships.

When you are in a long term relationship like that especially from a young age, you lose your sense of self. Everything was probably done as a couple or a family. You probably dropped your own hobbies long ago, or at least sacrificed time participating in them. You lose that and you almost don’t know who you are anymore. You gotta create a life of your own. Completely independent of anyone else. And the great thing is, once you have that life going and you realize you are happy, no one can really fuck it up for you like your ex did with your old life. Don’t date for awhile. Just learn to live and love life as a single person. Make friends of course.

1) Get therapy. Look into CBT helpful for almost any difficult situation. 2) Stay single for awhile. I’m talking years. 3) Continue going to the gym everyday. It will pay off. Trust me, I’m a gym rat. A really good physique alone can get girls attention which can help when you get back to dating. But more importantly, it’s very good for mental health. 4) Keep busy, especially doing things solo. Go see a movie in the movie theaters. Go eat at some fine dining establishments, actually good place for women when you rdy. I’ve been approached eating at the bar solo a fair number of times. Go hiking and spend time in nature. Take a solo vacation and explore a place. Or a cruise. 5) Build a life better than that bitch will ever be able to obtain.

Adventurous_Wrap_343 · 2024-02-25T18:20:46+00:00

No more mr nice guy book, a therapist and the mantra of “it’s going to be ok, I can handle it”.

Find comfort in the fact that you’re not alone, there’s an army of men around to support you. Lean in them. Read their stories.

I’ve been separated for over a year, but in the last few months I really started working on the inner me and I’m nowhere where I want. But I have found comfort in being wifeless.

Happy-Ad-2569 · 2024-02-25T13:36:03+00:00

Take a breath. She gave you a gift. This is another chance. Sometimes chances don't come easily. Collect the pieces of yourself that are leftover from the breakup. Leave the broken parts behind. Burn them. You don't need them anymore. Throw them the fuck away. That's why this happened. You needed to grow out of some of those things that weren't serving you. I don't know what they are and maybe you don't. Try to connect with a therapist or with someone who is spiritually peaceful. Let them help you to see the parts of yourself that need your attention. You need to focus on you for a bit to grow into your next big thing. And when that happens...you no longer accept the treatment or negativity that came from being in an unbalanced environment. Learn to fall completely in love with yourself first and tend to what you (& your child) need. You are here for a purpose. It is a journey of discovery. I attempted my life 4 times before I left a dysfunctional marriage of 34 years. I thought I was the problem. I thought I was crazy. I got therapy. I am 59. I am so happy. I am doing things that I never thought that I could do. Never give up. Never ever. You can do this. It is not you. Take your fucking life back.

drmonix · 2024-02-25T01:28:08+00:00

Hey man, I was in a similar place as you. Married for 10 years, dating for 13. Randomly wanted a divorce out of the blue and she couldn't give me any real reasons as to why. She had a new boyfriend a week after moving out and forgot about me instantly. I was right there where you were for about 4 months, and tried to off myself at least twice. I'm doing significantly better now. The pain may not ever fully go away, but it does dull. I tried therapy but it did not work for me.

If you want someone to talk to or vent to, or just someone to shoot the shit with, please message me.

Stefan_Siara · 2024-02-25T00:24:02+00:00

Just read The Rational Male by Rollo Tomassi. Warning - you’re gonna get angry for some time after reading it and then you’re gonna move on with your life and improve ;) Cheers

Adventurous_Rain_279 · 2024-02-24T20:04:46+00:00

Every one of us, who goes through divorce gets there “old, convenient” world to be destroyed

And it takes time, to build a new one

Most probably, your relationship sucked, but you as many of us “told” yourself you can fix it and keep trying to fix unfixable

Now, you have to realise, that you are responsible adult and need to keep working on yourself

And, you gonna find a lot better woman. There is a lot of healing to be done, dont tight yourself worth to her

You gonna be just right, even better without her And will be thanking universe, that she is out

It just takes time. To break the connection or its illusion

World os great, dont let her ruin it.

Mymindisgone217 · 2024-02-24T15:05:49+00:00

I had a very hard time after my divorce and felt like there was really no point in continuing, many times.

My mind was just so stuck on wanting an explanation of the whys in my head, when I thought and felt that things were good between us. It took me about 2 years to think about wanting someone else in my life, but it wasn't until about 5 years after the divorce that I actually started to see someone.

A lot of that time was because I couldn't let go of those whys, very easy, and so couldn't move forward in my mind. I had to keep working on letting myself accept that I wasn't going to have explanations that were going to tell me what really caused her to end things. (I feel that I have a good guess, but I have hated thinking that about her)

My guess is that you may be dealing with something similar. You are unable to understand why she wanted this and no matter what you do, your mind is stuck on wanting an answer.

Help yourself by telling yourself that you are not going to get an answer to your questions about why, and that continuing to allow yourself to focus on that is just going to waste your time. Do this each time you start to find yourself thinking about her or the divorce. It will take some time to train yourself to stop thinking about it, but it will be well worth it. (I didn't start this until about 4 years after, and it took about a year to really get myself away from the thoughts. I think if I had started sooner, it would not have taken so long)

Minimum-Ad4561 · 2024-02-24T04:33:30+00:00

What about your kids? Do they deserve to lose you in the way, get help and concentrate in your relationship with them and improve your mental health.

Puzzleheaded-Wish928 · 2024-02-24T03:40:51+00:00

Sorry that’s just hard stuff. Hang in there it gets better. I found running very therapeutic myself.

VeraNiko83 · 2024-02-23T18:39:49+00:00

It might seem like the end of the world right now but it will get better. Time heals all wounds. I have been with my husbamd for 18 years and we are in process of separating because he cheated. He destroyed me and the world that we build together but find a support system that helps. Friend,family or even a therapist. You still have your life ahead and as bad as it looks noe, it’s still worth living. I really hope you will feel better soon and never ever give up on you..take care

nakedokie67 · 2024-02-23T18:24:13+00:00

Dude. Hang on man. No other person besides your kids is worth your life. I'm 56 my soon to be ex wife blew a quarter million dollars I busted my ass to earn. No explanation no receipts my money is gone. I had a stroke working 65 hours a week in a steel manufacturing plant. She took my house my ability to work my cars and my dogs. I'm still upright. I have. A pulse and I'm holding on to that. Wake up every day and say I'm here. Dare life to do any worse and punch it in the face. Don't let anyone destroy you. As bad as you think it is just keep upright. Get up shower shave brush your teeth and when you go outside look around at our beautiful world.. every day above ground is a gift. You have something to give the world. Don't rob us of that

Moneyyz · 2024-02-23T18:04:40+00:00

This is the cold hard truth.

You likely have more accountability here than you’re realizing. The fact that you have a mindset and frame to even consider ending your own life over a woman is likely the precise reason she lost respect for you and cheated on you in the first place (besides her being a betraying, family destroying pos that’s a slave to her hypergamous, solipsistic nature and survival evolutionary biology - welcome to the true nature of women).

Grow a backbone, have some self respect, and move on without allowing a deceitful woman to impact you so deeply. You also need to pursue masculine growth and excellence moving forward - have higher standards, vet, choose better and hold frame next time. Going through the lowest low like you are now is an essential part of this journey. Be grateful your time has come.

Rebuild yourself into a man that women look up to, pursue, respect and who choose you as their best option to mitigate the risk of infidelity. Check out the red pill for more on this (Fresh & Fit, Casey Zander, Rich Cooper, etc).

Once you realize how foolish self deletion is for some self serving, feeble minded broad you will laugh and be embarrassed you ever even considered it.

There are countless women of infinitely higher quality than your ex out in the world excited to meet the new unshakeable, respectable, truly masculine version of you. Don’t rob them of that opportunity by doing something as stupid and short sighted as what you’re considering here.

If you want more guidance and support here feel free to DM me. I also highly advise you seek support from friends, family and professionals.

Do NOT use a permanent solution for a temporary problem. Also as a father it's unacceptable for you to leave your children fatherless. You have a duty to them which you signed up for when you became a father.

You can call or text the suicide support line at 988, or through this link: https://988lifeline.org/chat/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=onebox

Put yourself first, good luck.

WhatsTheFrequency2 · 2024-02-23T17:39:37+00:00

My buddy got divorced and tried to kill himself. That was about 5 years ago. Today he’s very happy and with a wonderful new woman. They just got back from a vacation in Greece. Stay in the game.

DarkKn1ghtyKnight · 2024-02-23T17:04:07+00:00

I don’t know where you are at, but where I am you can file for adultery until the paper is signed. If you can prove disposition and opportunity, you win.

AltEgo25 · 2024-02-23T14:54:31+00:00

This is not a foreign country for you anymore, it's been 23 years. Change that mindset, that's your country and you can do anything. Or literally just do anything that brings you some enjoyment, live for the little things. When I'm miserable I can still cruise in my car and listen to MY music, get amped up...hell i can even make money doing this with Uber. I can still get some time on my phone to watch shows I find interesting. I can work on my next business scheme or even just enjoy a nice cold soda. I can be satisfied by the little joys in life, and if that stuff can keep me going I'll get to the big stuff later. Even if my wife took all my money, house, paycheck and kid...I still got too much stuff I enjoy ro die, it's a darn Renaissance right now...if I live long enough I might be able to become an android or extend my life, or go into space, or experience true virtual reality...no way I voluntarily leave this plane.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2024-02-23T14:46:17+00:00

You wanna kill yourself over someone like her??? Who could care less?? So she wins??? I don’t think so.

DucatiDrew · 2024-02-23T14:19:52+00:00

Your best years are ahead. I can assure you. Not only that but you are the example for your children…and will come out of this. Very important you speak with other men and soon. Most of us have been through this in one form or another. A woman’s nature is frustrating but DO NOT let it conquer you. You are better than that.

wisstinks4 · 2024-02-23T13:13:47+00:00

No. Do not harm yourself or anyone else. Get up off the floor, dust yourself off and get going. Life is worth living, especially for your children. Have a goal to live to see them everyday. They need a father. You are that person. You are their father. They need you. Your family needs you.

Do not give in. Do not give the woman any satisfaction she hurt you. Take time to get help, to heal and rebound to a new you. There is more to this dynamic life than a cheater woman.

Call the crisis helpline, 800-237-8255.

http://crisisresponse.promoteprevent.org/ossresource/national-suicide-prevention-lifeline-1-800-273-talk-8255

77shantt · 2024-02-23T12:15:41+00:00

Take the first step towards your goals. Take it as though you have nothing and work up from there. If you get money after it invest it and if you get to see your kids bonus

BaldieGoose · 2024-02-23T11:43:02+00:00

Go for a long hike in nature. Be alone with your thoughts. Leave them in the woods. Come back a new man.

No_Animator_6015 · 2024-02-23T09:48:12+00:00

I’ve been in this spot. It’s been over a year now and I am so much happier. My ex decided to bring a new partner 3 days after we ended it. Had them sleep in our spare room.. so I have felt the pain and rage and the disrespect.

It took me a while to realize that I painted the perfect picture of who she was (she wasnt), I made excuses for her actions and ignored them… when you get hurt by these crazy actions, it’s hard not to feel the pain because it’s something YOU wouldn’t do (so why would she).

You need to forgive yourself, accept that you got the very best years of her but now they are gone. But you are in your prime now, you can love yourself and still find a beautiful person to be with again.

500dollarsinprizes · 2024-02-23T08:47:13+00:00

I understand how you feel.

You have to let your old self die so you can mourn him, before that guy takes tomorrow’s you with him.

You shouldnt have to do this alone. All you need is a toehold when youre drowning. Just a toehold makes all the difference, until you can fight for tourself again. Is there one?

Just make it one more day, then see if maybe you can make it for another.

AdrianInLimbo · 2024-02-23T08:40:36+00:00

I was exactly where you are almost 4 years ago. She was sleeping with the neighbor. Spending the night there while I was at home with the kids. My world, and out kids world, was blown up

Today I'm happier, I have one of my kids living with me, and dontnhsve to worry about what, or who, she is doing.

You'll get thru this. Get therapy through your employee assistance program, if available. Work on yourself and recognize she did this and she's the problem. You can do this.

upfnothing · 2024-02-23T07:34:21+00:00

“She is in the past and the past is not my concern”

“She doesn't deserve me. She doesn't deserve what I am. She doesn't deserve what I will become.”

Thomas Shelby

Your value and happiness doesn’t come from her. It comes from within. We have all been in some way or another exactly where you are. There are dark moments but they are moments nothing more.

A day at a time, it takes time to heal.

neverenough64 · 2024-02-23T06:46:05+00:00

Naa dude she didn't take anything you gave it to her the same way you're depression and self destructive behavior is giving her pleasure knowing she destroyed you. In the end you are responsible for your happiness no one else is unless you give them that power

Throwawaysi1234 · 2024-02-23T06:37:24+00:00

Try to get professional help from someone who can cut you a prescription. That was the turning point for me

lifeisallihave · 2024-02-23T06:19:31+00:00

You need to stop this, you sound like a victim and that's not how you should be looking at yourself. We've all gone through this and some of us still relive what they did to us, some of us are traumatized and yet we get up every day to do what we need to do, work on ourselves, rediscover who we once were and get back to living and just finding purpose. Don't let her win, you are a God damn 8. That means if you stop this victim mentality and get yourself back together, women will be falling over themselves to be with you, you don't even need to approach them, they will find you.

These days I enjoy my peace, have a great time with my kids and life is good.

PigletGreedy2195 · 2024-02-23T06:15:17+00:00

No man you love yourself more than her. Fight through this!

cherrybar12 · 2024-02-23T05:23:27+00:00

Fuck all that negative talk mate, it gets better, believe me I felt just like you at one stage. If you’re going through hell, keep going.

HamNotLikeThem44 · 2024-02-23T05:14:49+00:00

It doesn’t seem like it now but it will get better. Many of us have been where you’re at and come out better stronger smarter. You will too.

Enough_Youth_4564 · 2024-02-23T05:10:10+00:00

When I was at my lowest I thought of those who get into car accident and are handicapped for life, or those who lose eye sight, or those with severe cancer and are on their dying beds when their children are still babies. Etc etc

There is so many things that are worse than divorce. We feel your pain and have been through it. Start learning how to forget her , keep focusing on you and your children. Go to Italy. Enjoy your solitude, I love being alone and taking care of myself and my children when I have them. New start. New opportunities.

Diabolus-Optima · 2024-02-23T04:47:08+00:00

Watch Rocky

Think about yourself for once brother

Lumpy-Mammoth-3115 · 2024-02-23T03:46:50+00:00

Everytime I want to kill myself I try to write a letter to my son and daughter explaining why.

Haven’t got past the first fuckin word bc I can’t think of how to explain to them that burying me was best for them. You’ve got the worst of it ahead. Gut up. Give yourself daily goals and go outside. Get off social media during the week. Make a schedule and stick to it. You sound like you’re brewing mad, idle time is your adversary buy some good headphones you’ll actually use a lot and listen to podcasts on anything positive. Avoid any music you enjoyed together.

Jordan Peterson’s 12 rules for life book is great.

judasholio · 2024-02-23T03:38:58+00:00

As a fellow man who lives a completely destitute life, do whatever you can to just keep on keeping on. Much love to you, brother.

stent00 · 2024-02-23T03:04:15+00:00

Remember dude she was never yours... It was just your turn. There's millions of females in the world. Don't go dying over just one.. think about that.

Amadeus_Ray · 2024-02-23T02:53:29+00:00

Sounds like a poor use of freedom.

roshi-roshi · 2024-02-23T02:51:20+00:00

Today was one of those days for me. I’m heading for destitution.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2024-02-23T02:45:01+00:00

Please. I get it. I’ve been there. It’s so dark that you can’t see the light.

I promise you - there is light.

Call someone that you trust and talk with them. People absolutely love you.

berzerker5000 · 2024-02-23T02:41:24+00:00

You are going to KYS because of 10 months of misery out of 38 years of being alive? I get you are hurting but your logic is as bad as hers in leaving you. You have one life and it is your responsibility to make the best of it, your happiness is your responsibility not hers so man up.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-02-23T02:32:14+00:00

That happy guy is still there. Your dreams and happiness is still there. They have transformed into different realities and expectations without her. Being there being a father and a friend is your direction now. This pain will go away. Wait for it. Counseling? Try everything before doing something others will regret. Life is worth living even when the chips are down... they won't be down forever. Just temporarily.

Loovleh · 2024-02-23T02:31:27+00:00

Doing that will rob you of the perspective you will get when you emerge from this dark tunnel. Life can be too much to deal with sometimes, and I'm sorry you have had to go it alone.

I know it makes a difference when a woman is there to tell you you're great. But we have already established that you are great, and that greatness needs to stay in the world. The day you were born was a special day, because you are one of a kind.

Get out of the house this weekend: volunteer at a downtown homeless shelter, go see a play. Something that can make you feel moved and occupy some time. And reward yourself for accomplishing the very important task of staying alive.

Just my clumsy attempt at a reddit comment but I really hope this helps.

The_Usual_Suspect___ · 2024-02-23T02:16:53+00:00

You're a king man, fuck this shit. Do you even want her back? Good riddance. Work out man, take a walk read. Wahtever bullshit Eat good food, watch the women come. We age like fine wine where as these women's clock run out quick. Trust me. Just get through each damn day. Oh a drink and get high why not. It gets easier, it does. It never goes away, but it gets numbing.

NewDay0110 · 2024-02-23T02:13:26+00:00

Don't do it. You're not alone. Nearly everyone here on this subreddit has been on this journey. Divorce is awful, and one the the worst elements of it is finding out that your wife was not who you think she is. Maybe she was - but she changed. It happens to all of us and that's what makes divorce so outrageous. Nobody ever told us this could happen, and that could lead to a lot of anger. We go into it totally unprepared for what's about to come.

As someone who's been right were you are now, trust me when I say things get better from here. There are a lot of wonderful reasons to be alive, and you are just starting this new chapter in your life. Don't give up because the best is yet to come.

proper1welve · 2024-02-23T02:12:08+00:00

Yo we all been through it man. Pick yourself up and take care of your mom. Do some shit for you. She is not worth your life.

Puzzleheaded-Score65 · 2024-02-23T02:04:07+00:00

My only advice to someone who held a gun to their held and was ready to pull the trigger. Stop take a moment and say fuck it. Let’s start moving forward one step at a time. I was there 3 months ago. I lost my high paying job, my fiance and all my savings. Now 3 months later I have a great partner, ok paying job with great benefits and I’m pretty happy. Man just take one step at a time bro that’s it fuck goals and achievements and whatever else one step.

steelgripphoenix · 2024-02-23T01:50:28+00:00

Doing that is a waste, and honestly a despicable thing to leave your mother with on her death bed. Atleast live to see this new guy pump and dump her. By then you'll probably feel differently about the whole situation too.

My girl has left too, and I felt better after 4 months. Mostly because I prepared myself mentally (I watch red pill content)

It's 100% a mindset thing you need to work past. This is like putting your dog down because it has food aggression or something lol

jazscam · 2024-02-23T01:25:31+00:00

How old are the kids?

I think moving is the better option for now. Move back to your home country. At least before anything drastic.

whereami113 · 2024-02-23T01:05:00+00:00

the best revenge is living your best life Improving yourself and your situation. You are a man... you got this. Nothing we can't achieve as men once we put our mind to it and take action.

TheWritePrimate · 2024-02-23T00:38:44+00:00

Live out of spite for her. If you kill your self then she gets to say she was right about leaving you, and she gets to control the whole story to everyone, including your kids.

But if you go get your mojo back then she can fuck right off. I’m 39, so not much younger than you, and you can still have a lot of life in front of you.

Women are fickle, but they’re not worth ending it over. It sucks. You’re in a shitty situation, but life is still full of possibilities but death is just nothing.

Positive-War3957 · 2024-02-23T00:38:22+00:00

Buddy to take care of your mama. She needs you. No you now more than before. You have another opportunity to enjoy life

dukeofthefoothills1 · 2024-02-23T00:36:26+00:00

Bro, don’t seek a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I was distraught a year ago when my wife of 35 years informed me. I had achieved my life’s financial objective, and BOOM! I needed an antidepressant at the time. I’m now titrating down. I told somebody yesterday I realized I’m the most peaceful and happy I’ve been in my entire life.

SpiritualEnema · 2024-02-23T00:33:28+00:00

No offense, you sound like a textbook “Nice Guy”. You should read “No more Mr Nice Guy” by Robert Glover. I think you’ll find it liberating. I certainly did.

MadeBetterin-88 · 2024-02-23T00:30:37+00:00

I think if yoi were to look at things from a different perspective you can see that you are stuck on a situation that was..now you have a fresh start to not only be that guy you are and were...but to do it with someone that will cherish and deserve that person. your ex doesn't define your life or how you will continue to live it, you do, and you do by giving yourself the best you that there is to offer.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2024-02-23T00:13:59+00:00

She didn’t take anything from you. Your life, your happiness and your purpose is not dependent on any other person.

It will be tremendously helpful if you took ownership of what you’re feeling and examine that instead of blaming it on someone else.

Flapique · 2024-02-23T00:04:24+00:00

Bro, you totally need a different perspective. I recommend reading a new earth by Eckhart Tolle.

watermelonstrong · 2024-02-22T23:52:35+00:00

Heavy stuff, so that aside, let's discuss the points here. I don't see mention of any kids- you've got a leg up on a lot of other men here. Your path to healing is a bit more straightforward.

I see you mention here and on other comments you're an 8/10 and she's a 4-5/10? I mean that's a shit thing to say, assuming you're talking looks, and probably plays a big part in your divorce

Lastly, of course don't kill yourself, and don't post it for attention either. Get some help dude. The gym is good, but you've got to get some proper help and dumping on Reddit isn't that help

Android_1234 · 2024-02-22T23:49:09+00:00

Hey man, all the things you are feeling are normal. Do not let anyone invalidate those feelings. I am much fresher into this experience and it hurts like hell and I was married about half the length of time you were. An important lesson I'm still learning is that my ex is not the same person anymore. I loved her when she was that person I spent 10 years with but that's just not the case anymore. These people are not our whole lives even though we pour everything into them. It is insanely hard to believe you can do everything right and still lose, but that is life (and a paraphrased Star Trek quote haha).

Please know I'm thinking about you and I care about you. I know I'm just some words behind a screen but please understand there is more in this world and it does get better even if it takes you 5 years. You don't have to have some certain time frame as long as you're getting even a tiny bit better. I will be thinking about you brother and feel free to DM if you need to talk.

Title	Kill myself
Author	Due-Ad4708
Upvotes	43
Comments	74
Date	February 22, 2024 11:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1axllhp/kill_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/kill-myself.1246153 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246153

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