Part 5: The failure of family law, and the death of Father's rights.

After July 4th 2011, I had no choice, I had to act. Obviously we were not going to work this out on our own. My ex-wife and her family were on a vendetta to completely alienate me, and my whole family from my children. I filed a motion of enforcement asking the judge to intervene and enforce my parental rights to visitation, get my cell phone unblocked from the kid's (he had previously ordered her to unblock me twice, and it was in our settlement agreement from mediation) so I didn't have to go though mom to speak to my own kids. The day came... finally in September 2011.

I testified, I showed all my timelines, evidence of my ex's violations, my ex was hostile as hell on the stand, and made a complete ass of herself. My attorney even asked the judge for permission to treat my ex-wife as hostile just like in the TV courtroom dramas. I was so full of hope.... and the judge did nothing. He did not rule on my motion for enforcement. He signed the final divorce decree, and said that he hoped now it was final that it would settle down. He ordered that I take my daughter to weekly counseling, and ordered that both my ex-wife and I would follow the counselor's recommendations.... Seriously!? Nothing? If I went 9 months without paying my child support I would be in jail, my driver's license suspended, you name it... she does all of this... and nothing!? Where are my rights? Where are my rights as a father?

I finally find a counselor, my ex's attorney start's their new tactic... Drag it out. They argue over what the judge really meant for a month before they would sign the rule 11 agreement, Finally in get my daughter in to see the counselor Dec. or 2011. We are supposed to go in for weekly appointments... but already the issues are starting. My Ex complains to the counselor, and insists that she be the only one allowed to make appointments. weekly turns into monthly. which turns into by monthly, May 2012, almost a full year after I had my last visitation with my daughter, I had seen my daughter only a few times in the counselor's office. Every time we made progress, there would be several months without an appointment, and all progress would be undone. Everyone, including the counselor, was getting frustrated at my ex for intentionally dragging things out as much as possible. This came to a head in July, my daughter came in for an appointment and announced that she had decided that she was done. She was done with counselor's, visitations, and her dad. She wanted nothing to do with me, and that was that.

Well the counselor was not going to have that, and we pushed ahead against the ex's objections. We had a few more meetings though Aug. 2012, it took weeks to get ex's attorney, my attorney, and the counselor on the phone together, but finally the counselor put together a plan to resume my daughter's visitations, over a 4 week period, we would have a session, then go out for dinner for 2 hours, then move on to the next step after 4 weeks.

The Ex went silent. No appointments, no nothing. Then out of the blue the Ex's attorney sent my attorney a notice that she is withdrawing as my EX's attorney.... And here we are today. My total legal bills at this point are over 75k, I have paid over 53k in combined child support and alimony deducted directly out of my paychecks and given to my ex-wife; for which I do not get to see, speak to, or have any relationship with my children; All so she can ignore every court order, violate every agreement, hold my children hostage, and pretty much do whatever she wants. Currently I am attempting to save enough money to take my ex. back to court, this time to a new judge. We are going to make one last ditch effort to save my daughter, to end this madness. I am asking for custody, it is a long shot... one in which I have little or no chance of winning, but it is my daughter. I will never give up, and when she is older, I will be able to look her in the face and say "I did EVERYTHING I could"

Wish me luck.

~A loving father.

PS. As I had mentioned in the past, my son had written me off completely by this point, but May of 2012 marked a big event.... his graduation from high school. Lucky for me I was able to score some tickets for my family from my land lord since my son refused to give me any. He told me he did not want me to go, but I went anyway, I took Nurse, and my parents. We were sure to sneak out before being detected by the ex, or her family as the drama would of just ruined his day.... It was the first time I had physically seen my boy for well over a year, and it was the last time I have seen him. I have no idea when, or if, I will ever see him again. I miss him more than I could ever possibly express here. I am not a very educated man, and I just do not have the words to convey to all of you the level of pain and void left in me by not having him around. He has been the center of my life since I was his age, 18. I have done everything in my adult life for him. I miss his laugh, and I miss our conversations, and discussions of dr. who. He is one of the smartest men I know, and I am tremendously proud of him. I hope that one day he will look back on his life, and remember that I was not the bad guy he seems to think I am today. Last I heard he and his girlfriend went off to collage together. I wish him nothing but happiness, and I have full faith that he will be a great success in whatever he chooses to do; on the off chance that he is a redditor, and he reads this:

I love you son, always have, and always will, no matter what. Call me anytime, I am always here.

~Dad