Blatantly misogynist? I don't think so... (Feminist "friend" accuses me of sexism and unfriends me) What do you think?

he_cried_out_WTF · 2012-06-20T11:07:04+00:00

I thought the post was insulting to women. There was a point to it, but it was expressed in a very contemptuous manner that goes well beyond "a bit tactless".

Reverse the genders and imagine a feminist saying you "want your male privilege back, because you are too stupid or vapid to say anything interesting without it". That would piss me off, I'm sure of it.

Feyrbrandt · 2012-06-20T10:29:56+00:00

Link 1 Link 2 Link 3 Link 4

hartnell19 · 2012-06-20T15:54:41+00:00

I think this is a miscommunication. She probably takes it as, "Woman stfu and get off the internet unless me show you your boobs." Whereas the true meaning is that... well I don't really know. I often mention that I am something that I am as part of my bias in an argument, such as a 'hockey player.' But I'm not familiar with women saying hurr durr I'm a woman.

oneiorosgrip · 2012-06-20T13:12:37+00:00

The imgur post's logic is off, but the FF in the discussion was wrong in her outrage - not because she shouldn't have been offended by what the post said, but because she shouldn't have misinterpreted the post for the purpose of being offended (which she did.)

The text on the imgur post ruins the #mostly-right assertion that the merit of one's thoughts is not determined by one's sex associating that assertion with one stating that the act of showing off one's physical assets is done only on the assumption that they are the sole characteristic of value one possesses. The first assertion can be quite correct, in that being a girl does not add credence to unrelated statements, and that the claim is often made in the interest of seeking either attention or catering to increased sensitivity (as in, don't be so mean/harsh/crude/whatever - I'm a girl.)

The image's second assertion is incorrect. An individual who has interesting and valuable thoughts to contribute to a conversation can also be sexually free. The two are not mutually exclusive. In addition, showing off one's physical assets is not and should not be automatically degrading. It's a choice, just like any other, made by many people, not limited to one sex. If FF had initially argued those points, I'd say she had a leg to stand on.

Instead, she misread the text on the imgur post as a statement that physical assets are the sole characteristic of value possessed by women, and unfortunately, you fell for it and allowed the conversation to descend into a Jacob's ladder of flipping subject and assertion changes.

All of that said, I have to to ask one thing. What exactly did you expect when you posted that image? It looks like troll-bait to me. It's poorly thought out, poorly articulated, half-wrong, all stupid, and inflammatory in nature... and you posted it with the caption "I thought you might find this interesting... discuss." Do you troll your facebook friends with stuff like that all the time, or was this just a one-shot brain fart?

Blatantly misogynist - no. But I do think you got exactly what you asked for.

#the exceptions being twofold. The first is when someone says "All X Y Z" where X = a defining characteristic such as one's sex, Y = a state-of-being or state-of-mind verb such as 'believe,' 'do,' or 'are,' and y = a generalized characteristic; if a commenter states I'm X and I don't Y Z then being X can sometimes lend credence to that statement as a debunking of the generalization made in the X Y Z statement - but that is not limited to sex.
The second is when the writer discloses her sex as a means of preventing other girls from responding "you only think that because you are a dude." (Personally, I often don't disclose my sex in online discussion just to catch other women making this assumption, as in the case of the idiot who tried to start drama with the mommy-shaming self-post she cross-posted to SRS.)

2012-06-20T12:02:42+00:00

You really suck at arguing, you let them dominate the topic and definitions of the debate. As long as you're arguing with their crap definitions you're going to come off as an ass.

RaymondLuxuryYacht · 2012-06-20T21:59:37+00:00

If you ever find yourself agreeing with and defending a 4chan post, chance are you are wrong.

2012-06-20T15:13:28+00:00

The image looked like it was probably taken from /4chan/ and posting it on Facebook was extreme cause it was taken seriously outta context.

I think your friend doesn't understand the concept of anonymous till logging off cause you can be whatever you want when your behind a pc screen so the text wasn't sexist in the slightest.

drinkthebleach · 2012-06-20T19:39:32+00:00

I can't get free attention because no one can tell I'm a girl on the internet? And people get mad if I point it out to gain that attention?

Well then I hate the internet!

DeadlyPear · 2012-06-21T01:09:55+00:00

Women are not the minority if there are more women than men.

Simple math.

Schlibwak · 2012-06-20T10:52:43+00:00

The whole "tits" bit was pretty bad, but he does have a point in that you don't get an advantage for being female on the 'net.

InfinitelyThirsting · 2012-06-20T17:03:43+00:00

The argument blew out of control, but I have serious issues with the sexism inherent in "There are no girls on the internet". Because it's false--we are girls, and we are on the internet. Being a girl is part of who we are, and we are not girls just for you, or for other men. I am a girl regardless of whether there are men around or not, especially regardless of whether there are men fawning on me or not. To be told that my identity doesn't exist unless a man is looking at me is offensive.

I'm sure that's not what you consciously meant by supporting it, but it's what that viewpoint actually means. That's like saying homosexuals don't exist on the internet, or black people, or religious people. Sure, you may try to argue that the internet is gender-free, but that's not what most people mean. Most people don't argue that there are no men on the internet.

Think about it. Telling me that being a girl is only about the way that straight men react to me is like telling a gay man that homosexuality is only about making straight men uncomfortable. That being black is only about making white people feel guilty. That being religious is only about oppressing the beliefs of others. Or that being atheist is only about rebelling against religion.

But I'm a girl, even in a vacuum. Just like a gay man is a gay man always, and his love for his husband has nothing to do with you, or the Westboro Baptist Church, or anyone else. Just like black people are still black, even when you aren't looking. Just like religious people have personal faith. Just like I don't believe in any god, not because I'm angry at religion, but because I just don't believe in one.

This is a diatribe written by someone who has forgotten that the world doesn't revolve around him. That we all lead lives independent of him and his opinions, and in fact most of us don't give a rat's ass what he thinks. Or what others like him think.

Are there girls who use and crave the advantages of "being a girl" that he talks about? Yes. But they are not all girls. Are there black people whose lives center around racism and injustices? Yes. Are there gay people who are obsessed with drama and making people uncomfortable? Yes. Are there religious people who really wouldn't know what to do if they had no one left to persecute? Yes. Are there atheists who are just angry about religion? Yes. Everyone has assholes. Stereotypes don't come out of nowhere, they always have living, breathing seeds. Some people really don't have an identity of their own, and would be lost in a vacuum. But a lot of people are just fine on their own, and as I said, it is ridiculously self-centered and ignorant to try to tell people that their identities don't exist unless straight men are paying attention. (It also completely disregards the lives of unattractive women, and newsflash, ugly women are people too.)

It's also offensive to men, by the way. It insinuates that all men are straight, that all men are obsessed with sex, that all men are so shallow, that all men are pussy-whipped idiots who will cater to anything with a vagina.

So yeah. It's sexist. If you're being nice to me just because I'm a girl, or more nice to me because I'm a girl and you want to get your dick wet, I don't want to be anywhere near you. I'll stick to friends who care about who I am as a person. And yeah, some of my friends would gladly hit this. I don't care if someone sees me sexually. I know they're not treating me 'like a guy', I fully acknowledge the differences between men and women, obviously. But I do care if their main focus is my looks, if they would treat me differently if I were ugly. I care that my friends treat me like a person first. Just like they should treat anyone else like a person first, and whether they're male, female, black, white, brown, gay, straight, religious, tall, whatever--those are secondary traits, part of who a person is, not bonus points.

2012-06-20T11:29:24+00:00

FB is for half tard, nit wits. You would be well served avoiding it altogether.

railmaniac · 2012-06-20T17:12:28+00:00

FB;DR.

2012-06-20T11:48:57+00:00

When people get antagonistic, just unfriend them straight away.

Deacon · 2012-06-20T14:39:27+00:00

I think your feminist friend is arrogant, condescending, entitled, and that you are better off without her company.

thegreatmisanthrope · 2012-06-20T18:39:55+00:00

As a female reading this (oops) I wasn't insulted by any of the links, and to be frank, the girls with whom you were 'debating' didn't seem very educated on the matter, or rational. 'Debate' in quotes because their arguments were pathetic. The first link was crude for comedic purposes, but the overall message of it wasn't misogynistic in nature. [Side note: I feel as if females on the internet who post things such as "omgz i'm a girl and i play mario so unique lolz star wars nerd!" reinforce gender roles and make women look stupid in the meantime.

2012-06-21T04:10:01+00:00

the post was insulting to men and woman, it was insulting to men by saying that they only want sex, and only talk to woman to get it, and it was insulting to woman because it was saying that woman have nothing interesting to say and are only their worth is sex. this is demeaning to everyone.

2012-06-20T14:56:48+00:00

sum1 was wrong on facebook!

genuinemra · 2012-06-20T14:09:12+00:00

It would be helpful if we knew what the original post that you made to your friend's page was.

Comments