I would like to hear from circumcised men who wish they had never been cut.

wavegeekman · 2012-03-31T19:12:42+00:00

My parents joked and nearly mocked me when I told them I was unhappy with the decision.

Sex usually lasts too long for me, with my girlfriend getting sore before we're done.

The fact I had zero choice in the matter is still very upsetting.

2012-03-31T19:06:45+00:00

I had no say in the decision. Fuck that.

BinaryShadow · 2012-04-01T05:35:03+00:00

I was circumcised as a baby so obviously I don't recall the procedure nor what it was like before it. It was for non-medical and non-religious reasons and just a result of my generation's brainwashing (I'm 29).

I don't hold it against my parents. I understand why they did it and they thought they were doing the right thing, and for that I'm grateful. Not because it is the right thing, but that they believed they were doing the right thing (and were told such things by the media, doctors, friends, etc). So I refuse to be a bitch about it to my parents. Of course, I wished they hadn't put me through it but it's done and there's no amount of griping can fix it. If they were to ask me I would tell them I wish they didn't put me through it (and will list the reasons why), but I won't sacrifice my otherwise good relationship with my parents over it.

I mean, this is before the internet. If you were told all your life that this is the right thing to do from many sources including your family doctor that you've used for decades, who are you to say no? After all, it was done to my dad for probably the same ignorant reasons as well as all his friends growing up. You want what's best for your boy, don't you? I consider it unfair to blame my parents for this massive amount of brainwashing going back many generations at this point.

Of course, I don't know what it's like to have my foreskin. I can't tell you if I'm missing something. It's like a child being born without sight later on being told they are blind. They are aware of something missing but don't know any better. I would assume this is why they butcher kids as babies. Less chance of them being aware of what was taken away from them.

That being said, I'm glad to hear that such beliefs are being challenged and will help to keep the challenge on those views. Should I ever have a son, I would fight very passionately against any attempts to get him circumscised. To the point where I would be offended if my wife should want it done over my objections. Should he want it when he's older, I will not object. I gave him what I didn't get: the choice.

To answer your questions about it being awkward, I grew up in Saudi Arabia (from age 9 to about 15). All my friends were from Europe and Asia. Not one of them was circumcised. So I was the one with the awkward penis.

kanuk876 · 2012-04-01T06:28:53+00:00

I am always curious about the child genital mutilation debate.

fixed that for you.

2012-03-31T22:16:14+00:00

Botched, but could have been much worse.

My mother said she regretted it. It was done for religious reasons and although I don't remember it she said the screaming got to her.

I don't know what life would have been like otherwise. Would a girl who had her clitoris cut off know as well? She'd just think it normal sensation.

Straight guys don't really look at other guy's cocks. So that's kind of a non-issue for them.

BrutusBeefcake · 2012-03-31T18:34:50+00:00

Sex has always been challenging for me. Had I kept all of my sensitivity I am sure it would somewhat less challenging.

Seicair · 2012-03-31T22:23:58+00:00

Not botched, but I want the missing piece of my body back. Too sensitive, uncovered.

AnthonyZarat · 2012-03-31T22:45:02+00:00

It is wrong no matter what. I my case, the doc was a butcher.

Bulbort · 2012-03-31T21:19:35+00:00

Botched, sex is basically impossible. My parents mocked me as well when I had the discussion. So I called them miserable ignorant fools and we barely have a relationship or act as a family anymore. It's terrible, but I am glad that they suffer the scorn of their own son while I suffer loneliness and a horrible body image.

I look forward to the day I can put them in the worst nursing home I can find.

All the love in the world doesn't make up for me having to live like this until I'm stuffing a coffin.

2012-03-31T18:35:06+00:00

I wish I hadn't been cut. During masturbation and sex I easily get rubbed raw. I still have slight scars from when my first girlfriend dry-humped me until I bled. Most of the girls I have been with have been virgins, or nearly virgins, so I dont think they had any expectations of appearance.

Sarrasri · 2012-04-01T01:11:59+00:00

I had a religious circumcision, so it wasn't done in a hospital. It was also when I was around 4. I was given nothing for the pain. Fuck that.

johnmarkley · 2012-04-01T09:17:41+00:00

Reading her subsequent comments in this thread and seeing what a smug, bigoted creature she is, I now feel like something of a chump for answering the OP as if she actually deserved a thoughtful answer. Live and learn.

johnmarkley · 2012-04-01T00:24:06+00:00

From a purely functional standpoint, it hasn't really mattered in my case- I'm asexual or so close to being so as to be indistinguishable for all practical purposes, so it doesn't much matter if my privates work properly or not.

But it angers me that it was done without my consent. I think what bothers me even more than the fact that it was done to me was the fact that it was (and is) considered perfectly reasonable and moral. I was a helpless baby, and pretty much no one thought there was anything wrong with cutting and mutilating my body, while I was awake to feel it all, for no damned reason except that I was a boy and it didn't occur to most folks that there was any particular reason to not cut part of my penis off. Realizing that hurts.

MIXEDGREENS · 2012-04-01T08:15:50+00:00

I have an unsightly scar on my dick (so much for the "it looks better" argument) and lack the sensitivity to maintain an erection while wearing a condom.

Rather than forgo sex entirely, this means I have unprotected sex, so the procedure has left me with a mutilated penis and the choice between celibacy and STD/fatherhood risks.

Fuck circumcision.

rightsbot · 2012-03-31T17:46:18+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

rodvanmechelen · 2012-04-01T00:55:00+00:00

My father was enraged when he heard that I was upset about it. (He's the kind of abusive male feminists point to when they want to condemn all men.) Over the years, all of my girlfriends appreciated my staying power due to the insensitivity, but I resent losing half the nerve endings. Plus, as I mentioned in another post, it caused a cascade of inflammation that caused numerous health problems.

Jesus_marley · 2012-04-01T02:21:26+00:00

I'll be honest. I don't remember my circumcision. When I think about it now, not knowing what I lost, I really can't say I'm angry. That said, I would have preferred to have been given the choice (as an adult) as to whether to have it done or not. I don't believe in it, and I think it is wrong to inflict such a thing on an infant. But in the end, like I said, I don't know what I had so I cannot lament the difference. As it stands, my peen works just fine as it is. TL;DR - I am bothered I didn't have a choice, but I like what I have since I don't remeber having anything different.

kanuk876 · 2012-04-01T06:34:47+00:00

http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights//comments/btws1/convince_me_not_to_circumcise_my_child_this_is/

Eveco · 2012-04-01T15:17:51+00:00

I've never had a problem with it, but I always wonder what it would be like to have not been cut. It's just the whole "unknown" aspect for me. I do with I didn't happen though.

2012-04-01T21:55:27+00:00

I am circumcised, as a child/adolescent I always wondered why there were scars on my penis (I have seen an uncut penis before, I thought it was weird).

Once i got older I started doing research. I'm spiritually religious (non-organized) and one of my beliefs is to not modify my body. I would never get a piercing, tattoo, or any other non-therapeutic body modification, for personal reasons.

Except that my parents made the choice to have me mutilated in infancy for the sake of social norms, and didn't even give the alternative any thought.

So, despite my deeply held spiritual belief that I should keep my body whole and unmodified because I was born that way, a part of my body that is very central to my being has been mutilated, without my choice, with no valid reason, because people think it's "normal."

I know better than to think just because society practices something, that it is normal. I'm not an idiot. And I will throw my weight into fighting to make this horrible unjustifiable practice illegal.

TLDR: having my genitals mutilated without consent as an infant means that I will NEVER be able to fulfill my personal spiritual belief that my body should be whole and unmodified.

Wiregeek · 2012-04-02T16:43:53+00:00

I have given up on sex because of my circumcision. Between keratinization and the binding effect of a minor skin bridge, it is painful and uncomfortable to participate in conventional p-i-v sex. In addition, the desensitization is bad enough that I cannot sustain an erection, nor have even a chance at orgasm while using a condom.

lesean25 · 2012-03-31T19:12:18+00:00

i cant really tell anything bad about it, honestly.

SilencingNarrative · 2012-04-01T00:07:10+00:00

I was born in 1967. my parents had me circumcised as an infant because thats what everyone else did. I cant believe a doctor thought it was ok to cut off my foreskin. I didnt think much of it until my wife was pregnant with our son and I started researching. I read the usenet group misc.kids.parenting where circumcision was discussed often. I was already convinced on logical grounds that it was wrong but also conversed with.intact.men who described the sensations their foreskins provided during masturbation and sex. I will never get to know those sensations.

When I tried to raise the issue with my wife, she shut me down with "we will do whatever my doctor says. You are not a doctor and thus not qualified to debate it" . So at the next ob gyn appointment I was sure to ask his recommendation. He took my side with a vengence. So my wife was in agreement with me for a week or so until her mother started working on her. Then she starts throwing a hundred different arguments against me. I refused to give in although it took everything I had. My son is intact. If I ever try to talk about my feelings of loss with my wife, though, she just tells me I need to get over it and worry about something that matters. Women have it worse anyway in general so I should just be thankful I am male.

2012-03-31T22:53:25+00:00

Personally, I am neither happy nor unhappy with the decision. I have no alternative to compare it to, I have not experienced it. I can understand not wanting to have a big decision made like that for you, but I don't think that my parents or the doctors were trying to inconvenience me or spite me when they made the decision. I think that they made what they thought was the right decision and since I have nothing to compare it to, nothing to miss, than I don't really care. Basically, I think that if I had anything to compare it to I'd have a problem with it and would have wanted to make the decision myself. But, it's in the past now and I am how I am so I don't really mind.

VadenKhale · 2012-04-01T06:10:58+00:00

Well, I'm curious what it would be like from a purely inquisitive perspective, much the same way that I sometimes wonder it would be like to be black, or European, etc. Everything functions just fine. In fact, extra sensitivity would likely be problematic, but again, I don't know for sure.

However, despite being religious and from a very religious family, I would prefer not to circumcise my sons if/when I have them. I'm not Jewish, and I don't live by the Law in so many other ways, why should I risk my son's future sexual satisfaction for no legitimate medical reason?

I don't like the argument that, "he won't look like his dad..." or "the other kids will make fun of him..." How often are these people looking at each others' dicks? I recall briefly glimpsing my dad as he was getting out of the shower once and I wouldn't have been able to tell you what he was one way or another.

TL;DR I don't care one way or another, but I won't circumcise my sons except for legitimate medical reasons.

tom_haverf0rd · 2012-04-08T08:59:25+00:00

ive had a relatively normal circumcision, no horrible botching or anything, and yet i still have a very low level of sensitivity. my sex life with my girlfriend has been ruined because of this. i touch her and it is obvious that she feels so much more from sex and touching than i do. light touches dont do much for me. i cant orgasm during sex 60-70% of the time. this makes sex a very awkward part of our relationship. every single day of my life i look at my penis and wish i hadnt been surgically altered :(

i have so much anger and frustration over my circumcision and it has no real outlet so it ends up manifesting as road rage or me getting angry over petty little things. i just wish it was possible for my girlfriend to pleasure me like i can pleasure her.

Title	I would like to hear from circumcised men who wish they had never been cut.
Author	ozzyvixen
Upvotes	7
Comments	49
Date	March 31, 2012 5:44 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/rmlcz/i_would_like_to_hear_from_circumcised_men_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-would-like-to-hear-from-circumcised-men-who-wish.1024925 https://theredarchive.com/post/1024925

Comments