crazy regrets drunken hookup, decides it was rape. feminists encourage her to take action, how about she get some non-insane advice...

Supertrinko · 2011-12-26T08:14:21+00:00

Okay so I don't think this was full blown rape, but she's not a "crazy" who simply regretted her drunken hookup.

It's as though you think people can't possibly have conflicting emotions.

Her explanation of the point of consent ("I finally just gave in"), it doesn't state whether he was already giving her oral before she did that, or if she allowed it before he started. But I believe in innocent until proven guilty so I'm not going to say he raped her.

2011-12-31T12:29:59+00:00

It is so horrifying to me that saying "no" apparently isn't enough. Why do we have to scream or punch or run away for "no" to be understood? Women are completely capable of deciding whether or not they want to have sex. If she says no, then back the fuck off. It's not a man's place nor his right to tell her whether or not that decision is 'valid' enough to be accepted or not.

You don't put your hands on someone without clear consent, much less perform a sexual act on them to 'convince' them to let you fuck them. It's insulting for someone to try overpower you by mindfucking you out of your decision not to have sex with them, and that's exactly what this was. It wasn't some guy trying to ease his partner's nerves about sex, it was a guy who ignored a woman's "no" and did whatever it took for her to cooperate with him so he could get his rocks off.

JeremiahMRA · 2011-12-26T05:10:55+00:00

How about scrolling down past the first post

PattynSuicide · 2011-12-26T22:55:46+00:00

I'm genuinely curious here. I just want to know what you guys think, etc. I am not going to argue or bash anyone.

If this were your girlfriend, sister, or female best friend, what would you say if they told you this girl's exact story?

Bobsutan · 2011-12-26T11:47:42+00:00

Best comment of the thread IMO:

http://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/npuce/i_think_i_was_nonviolently_raped_or_taken/c3b9819

Survey says: Not rape.

The thread is a clear example of why no doesn't always mean no, despite what feminists would have you believe. In fact this is the very definition of ASD or perhaps LMR. She put up token resistance, he got her to change her mind, they hooked up. Now she regrets it. Boofuckinghoo. Chalk it up to a life lesson about the effects of alcohol and sex. She needs to own up to her responsibility and stop being a child about the situation.

frostek · 2011-12-26T14:50:49+00:00

He didn't carry her up to his bedroom kicking and screaming. She walked up those stairs.

hydrogen18 · 2011-12-26T05:32:29+00:00

Sounds like she said no, he performed sexual acts on her. How is this not at least sexual assault? Obviously I'm only working on what the poster described.

TheBadWolf · 2011-12-26T10:05:03+00:00

There is a difference between seducing someone and sexually assaulting someone.

This is sexual assault.

Lawtonfogle · 2011-12-26T17:57:35+00:00

I think we have hit the threshold of our silly little definitions of consent and rape. Let's consider a different situation. A girlfriend decides to wake a boyfriend up with a blow job on his birthday. They have never had oral sex before but are otherwise sexually active. The boyfriend reveals, after the fact, that he has very strong moral reasons to not have oral sex and would have never consented to it. Is this rape?

Ok, so let's drop all the baggage of the situation. One sexual partner wakes up another sexual partner with some sex act. Is this rape? Well, the one who was sleeping can in no way have given consent to the act. Even if they have agreed upon it the night before, you cannot consent to sex acts in the future (that is the same shitty argument that people who say spouses can't rape each other use).

In the end, the above was clearly a sex act without consent. Rape.

Yet, we often don't see anything wrong with it, often both members of the relationship are happy with it. Is there any more evidence needed that our definitions of rape and consent are screwed up?

As such, what happens to the woman in this case is a game of semantics. We can argue if it is technically rape or not. But that doesn't matter. Sit back for a second and think of where does seduction become assault. Where does roleplay become rape. You have to consider that if you see this as rape or not effects how we must judge other sexual encounters, assuming we want any consistency, and thus any sanity, in our legal system.

IF we say this wasn't rape because she didn't scream out "NO!"... then are we really prepared to say that that must be a requirement for rape to happen? That you must scream out "NO!"? Well sucks if you are a mute then.

IF we say this was rape because she did say "no" in some fashion early on... are we really prepared to say that any sexual act that occurs after someone says no is rape, that a woman (or man) cannot change their minds? And heaven forbid, what about people who rape-roleplay, a clear (albeit rare) case where no does actually mean yes and instead, bobsledding means no (or what ever safe word they use).

To me at least, it is clear more information is needed. Especially body language. But even getting this information in a court case would be hard, but over the internet? Ain't gonna happen.

Some may argue that by her being drunk it doesn't matter what happens, it was rape, but I don't think I need to tell most the problems with that reasoning.

ValiantPie · 2011-12-26T09:49:09+00:00

No, this was pretty obviously rape. He didn't sweet talk her into sex. He fucking went down on her while she was still at no. I think that is pretty clear cut. What the fuck, people.

2011-12-26T19:21:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

JohnMRA · 2011-12-26T07:19:45+00:00

This is disgusting. You guys sincerely post shit like this, invade another sub with your harmful advice and victim blaming, then act like you either don't know why this place is dismissed as neckbearded misogynists or act like people are just mad that your shitty reactionary selves are just now "waking up" to the evils "feminism." Goddamn. It's pretty obvious that you guys are the ones downvoting too. Shitheads. Seriously, if there was ever any doubt that the "men's rights" agenda is just to normalize misogyny and rape, here it is right here. Fuck all of you, especially that subhuman piece of shit OThompson for all his shitty posts, telling an intoxicated rape victim that she cheated on her boyfriend because she didn't fit his arbitrary guidelines for what constitutes rape by not acting like a rational automaton. This is "men's rights activism" right here, fuckass; enthusiastically invading a space where you're not wanted so you can take pleasure in making a rape victim feel even worse. You're filth.

OThomson · 2011-12-26T05:22:17+00:00

I'm on it!

Title	crazy regrets drunken hookup, decides it was rape. feminists encourage her to take action, how about she get some non-insane advice...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	161
Date	December 26, 2011 5:03 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/nqv34/crazy_regrets_drunken_hookup_decides_it_was_rape/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/crazy-regrets-drunken-hookup-decides-it-was-rape.1030083 https://theredarchive.com/post/1030083

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