Apparently it's sexist of me to suggest that simple being a woman does not entitle you to a seat on a bus if someone else is already sitting there.

Gareth321 · 2011-02-12T08:38:10+00:00

Thanks for posting this. I urge you to ignore the comments here advocating for sexism, or criticizing your beliefs. You're asking for equality. No more. No less. If everyone were as critical of their own actions and behaviour, we'd have equality already. The reason chivalry isn't as widely criticized as other forms of sexism is because it's an example of a female privilege. Feminists don't attack female privilege, and so society at large isn't educated about not perpetuating it.

bbschaefer · 2011-02-12T07:03:27+00:00

I'll preface this by saying that I am male.

I, personally, would be likely to give my seat up to an able-bodied female without being asked to do so. However, I would certainly not look down upon someone who would choose to not give up their seat.

No, it's not required. They're not entitled to it any more than I am. It would piss me off if they asked, or stared at me like a hawk until I did so. If they're just standing there without making a fuss I would gladly give my seat up, not because I have to, but because I choose to.

I guess I have appreciation for niceties and notions of chivalry. I don't look down on men who don't. It's a personal choice.

For me it's not about power, or entitlement, or anything else. It's about me doing what I perceive as right. I want to give up my seat to a woman? Fine. You don't? That's cool too.

pcarvious · 2011-02-12T04:13:14+00:00

Why is this thread here? I don't see an argument or a point, just a loosely pointed finger.

ikindawishiwasfrench · 2011-02-12T15:48:00+00:00

Can i just say that never in my life have i ever even imagined that a man would get up to give me his seat, i never even knew that was the done thing!

snoopyzanus · 2011-02-12T17:41:44+00:00

Throwing the question open: I wouid like anyone to explain what they think is specially virtuous about a man giving up his seat to a healthy, able-bodied woman?

An individual person giving up their seat to another person is certainly considerate and polite, especially if the other person is visibly experiencing some kind of difficulty standing--but that's not the issue I'm talking about.

I want to hear specific reasons for men giving up their seats to women who appear to have no such difficulties--who are simply female.

Just saying that it is "nice" or "polite" doesn't answer this.

2011-02-12T18:11:52+00:00

You're not smiling at the black guy? RACIST!

killertofuuuuu · 2011-02-12T19:16:11+00:00

As a woman I do not think it is necessary for a guy to offer me his seat because I m an able bodied person regardless of my gender. One should give their set up for a disabled person or an elderly person or a very pregnant person or perhaps a child that wants to sit near their parent. But there is no need for a guy to give up his seat for a woman if she is able bodied.

This is a subtle example of how sexism affects both genders - some people still think that men are the superoir sex and are therefore expected to be the providers/protectors, even at their own expense etc. This really paints men into a corner if they are expected to only act in one specific way - a masculine way. This can be psychology damaging. On the other hand, some people still think that women are the weaker sex and require protection or to be treated as children because they are mentally and physically below men which is patronising and condescending and also is a general attitude that prevents women from being seen as equals to men.

I also have an experience in real life that has caused me to recently be actually OFFENED when men offer me a seat on the bus. Every so often I would be offered a seat on the bus by a man. I used to think that it was because he was just being nice. But I now realise that it is probably because the man just wanted to hit on me. There is nothing wrong with a guy showing interest in me romantically but doing it by offering me his seat seems disengenuine because it makes one feel obliged to have a conversation with the man cause he did a favour for me - it makes you feel like you 'owe' him a conversation even if you dont want to.

THe way I realised this, is because I was thin all my life until I got a serious illness an stoped earing right and exercising and ended up gaining 60 pounds. I found that when I was heavier, I never once got offered a seat wheras when I was thin, I was offered a seat by a man on average once every 3 weeks or so having taken the bus to work/school everyday. Then, after a year of eating right and exercising, I lost all the weight and returned to my previous weight. So when I was thin again, men began offering me a seat on the bus again and often, being asked my phone number as well. So thats how I realised I was just being hit on.

Miss_mariss87 · 2011-02-14T20:52:56+00:00

Okay, I am female. I have never, ever, ever heard of any other female who wasn't pregnant, old, etc. etc. asking for someone to move so that they could sit down. I have also never heard of this being discussed as if it were normal polite behavior. If this has happened to you, that's not a "lady/feminist" problem, that is a "you know some fucked up people" problem.

banksnld · 2011-02-12T14:43:32+00:00

Expecting to be seated because you have a pussy is far more inconsiderate and arrogant than not giving a woman your seat based solely on her gender.

I'd say it's not too far a stretch that your rudeness had more to do with how you were treated than your position did.

chocolate4you · 2011-02-12T17:23:46+00:00

Being a female...there is no way that I would ever expect a male to give up their seat on the bus so I could sit down. Just being female does not entitle me to anything different then a male.

This to me is a problem, women these days want everything to be equal, they want to be treated with the same respect as males. But when it comes to the negative aspects of being treated equally, women strongly reject it. Such as, thinking that because you have a vagina you expect a male to give up his seat, some women get upset and think they should be treated with higer respect. But when it comes to employment and pay, women want to be paid like and have the opportunities that males have and when they don't get it, they become very upset and file a lawsuit.

When expecting to be treated equally, we need to take the good with the bad.

bl1ksem · 2011-02-12T03:04:22+00:00

I'm a girl. I would think it showed great manners to offer the seat, but I wouldn't stand around like a hawk eye-balling the seats with men in them. If I was a man and a woman asked for a seat because she was a woman I'd tell her to fuck off. Now, old ladies are quite a different matter...

Nicend · 2011-02-12T12:03:57+00:00

Reminds me of a woman who shoved me out of a seat on a bus so she could seat. Admittedly the seat had a sign saying to vacate it for expecting mothers, but that lady was fat not pregnant. It also didn't help that there were other empty seats on the bus, or that I was 10, or that there were other closer seats with teenagers on them. Nope she told the child to move. Naturally I told her no so she shoved me off, so I shoved myself back onto the seat with all may puny strength and so began an epic battle of pointlessness with two people acting childish, when only one was an actual child. Eventually I gave up and decided to be the adult and leave her be (she was too strong)...which thinking back was a bit stupid when she was the adult, despite that fact that she was the one acting inconsiderate and annoying. Some people are just self-entitled a'holes....and surprisingly childish.

getter1 · 2011-02-12T22:50:55+00:00

Why are you crying sexism? No one seemed to jump at you for your post, in fact it seemed quite the obvious that everyone was agreeing with you.

So whats the fucking issue?

mtux96 · 2011-02-12T07:47:42+00:00

The way I see it. I do think men should offer the seat to the lady, but that is just me and is just a nice thing to do. However, if they are stating that they deserve the seat because they are entitled to it for being a female, they can go pound sand.

gameguran · 2011-02-12T15:52:19+00:00

If you offer your seat to old people, and then offer one to a woman, does it imply that the woman is in fact... old?

2011-02-14T09:10:56+00:00

I would give up my seat for a woman, but I don't think it's sexist for someone else to make a different choice.

3brushie · 2011-02-12T02:03:14+00:00

Ooooo, let's go to the demographic that's certain to agree with us, that'll ensure that the numbers show we were correct!

You are petty. I do not like you.

snoopyzanus · 2011-02-12T17:27:40+00:00

i'm a woman and don't care either way; i'm all for offering a seat to the elderly, disabled, etc etc.

offering a seat to a woman is 'polite' especially if she's in heels - and no bitching about how she shouldn't wear them, when women wear sensible shoes men bitch then, too - and/or because women have less upper body strength so it's more difficult for them to maintain their balance holding on in a moving bus or train.

sentfrommyiandroid · 2011-02-12T05:22:18+00:00

damn. Every time I make a new Reddit acct something seems weird, then I remember that I forgot to de-frontpage r/mensrights. 'Time to fix that.

PS. Only if you are pregnant or an old lady or disabled. If able-bodied young women are asking you for your seat they're just asshole human beings. Assholes come in both types. The end.

analbiologist · 2011-02-12T01:57:19+00:00

There is no way I can stop myself from replying to 3brushie. Arrrrrgh.

Edit: Hey MR, let's not get carried away. This isn't a downvote brigade, and creating one only makes the people on the other side of the argument justified in feeling like they're being silenced. Disagree verbally in a reasonable manner and you can change people's minds. Downvote squads and petty insults only make people feel like we're a bunch of nutcases who use insults in place of actual arguments.

2011-02-12T14:00:03+00:00

Every day at work when the elevator door opens women walk in first. They never defer to men, or to children or older folks if there happen to be any. If a guy is standing about equal distance to the door they walk in first and expect him to move aside. The few times I've asserted my equal rights I got surprised and then condescending looks. In the past my heritage in this country has been back of the bus; as a man it is now back of the line. I'm fed up with special rights for privileged classes of people.

windynights · 2011-02-12T15:07:45+00:00

The age is over when a male offers his seat to a woman. There are exceptions - disability or fragility. Otherwise, if you're a man and you're there first, enjoy your seat. Equality can't be compromised.

2011-02-12T15:19:50+00:00

You'd be surprised how often "it's the polite thing to do" means "this is law and you will be flogged if you don't comply." Suppose once someone is accustomed to politeness, anything short is considered rudeness. I see this alot growing up in the south US. Like failing to hold a door open or some such. People with a sense of entitlement grind my gears. Ya know what else grinds my gears? When I can't find the droids I'm looking for.

otakuman · 2011-02-12T17:31:19+00:00

You know what's sexist? That a girl can go to a bar, have guys invite her drinks, and then brush them off with some stupid excuse, until she finds some guy that she actually likes, have him do tons of favors for her, to end up with "awww you're so nice, let's just be friends".

And then they wonder why men are a bunch of liars who only "use" them.

snoopyzanus · 2011-02-12T18:29:08+00:00

It's called being a gentleman. It's got nothing to do with equality or suchlike. If you're a human living in society, there are certain traditions and societal actions that take place. You don't sneeze in your hand then shake hands. You don't fart in a business meeting. A gentleman will offer his seat on public transport to woman.

shunt110 · 2011-02-12T04:35:45+00:00

jeez since when is being polite to people such a travesty

Title	Apparently it's sexist of me to suggest that simple being a woman does not entitle you to a seat on a bus if someone else is already sitting there.
Author	KoNP
Upvotes	76
Comments	109
Date	February 12, 2011 1:35 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/fjtx3/apparently_its_sexist_of_me_to_suggest_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/apparently-its-sexist-of-me-to-suggest-that-simple.1043261 https://theredarchive.com/post/1043261

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