Does a woman have the right to go off birth control without telling her partner?

lanana · 2010-08-31T23:08:07+00:00

Legally? I don't know of any law that says otherwise. Morally/ethically? Of course not, that would make her a hugely dishonest person and would place her below pond scum in my book. But as far as a legal "right"? Even if you tried to make a law, it's too much of a he said she said thing to ever enforce, unless they drew up some written contract or something. And even still, you would have to prove it was on purpose, and not birth control failure or some freakish chance thing. Bottom line for men and women, if you want to be 100% sure, be in charge of your own protection no matter what.

PompousAss · 2010-08-31T22:34:46+00:00

If you are concerned. Wear a rubber. You are responsible either way, so you had better use your own. Relying on someone else you are going to get bit. Women have used this technique for thousands of years to keep a man, or to get a source of income. As a guy who has paid hundreds of thousands in child support, never trust a woman with your responsibilty to keep your sperm from an egg. If you don't want her pregnant, don't shoot your load in the baby hole, period.

FlintFireforge · 2010-09-01T07:08:52+00:00

Suppose a sexually active couple share a decision to rely on the woman to take birth control pills as their only method of contraception.

Well from a perspective of BC, the couple have already lost.

BC is very effective, but it must be taken properly. Even when it is taken 100% correctly, it's still possible to get pregnant.

If you want to avoid any possibility of having a child, you need to take steps to ensure it's practically impossible for it to happen.

This doesn't address the crux of your question, but it's important to consider.

As others have said, it's probably in ambiguous territory legally.

IANAA, but I believe most places the law is that you basically accept the consequences of having a baby when you have sex with a woman....you as a man have no legal right to make any decision about the birth process except whether or not to put your sperm in the woman....what happens after that you don't get a say in (legally).

If she specifically misleads you, you might have a case for fraud, but I really wouldn't know.

Ethically speaking, I think it's pretty clear cut unethical to simply stop taking BC without telling your partner when it's clear that you are relying on it.

For me the bigger gray area is what happens if she forgets to take it, or is accidentally taking antibiotics instead?

On the one hand, she is the one that screwed up...on the other hand I don't think we as men can completely absolve ourselves of responsibility when it comes to BC. We can't just write it off as "well that's entirely on her, and as long as I tell her I don't want a baby if it somehow happens it's not my responsibility". It's a tough question.

st_gulik · 2010-09-01T05:36:06+00:00

Legally, yes. Ethically, no. If she's in a sexual relationship with her partner and they're not planing on having children from this relationship -- hence her taking birth control as their form of protection, ethically she should tell him.

My ex-wife did this right after we decided to wait for a year for her to recover from her fourth miscarriage. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my daughter, but her depression from the miscarriages, and this act (because she was depressed) destroyed my trust for her and eventually our marriage.

2010-09-01T01:30:33+00:00

Yeah, she does.

Of course, morally, it's incredibly wrong considering that there's no "out" for men who don't want to pay for the kid.

merrickx · 2010-09-01T03:27:43+00:00

Does a man have the right to remove one or both condoms in the middle of sex?

Feckless · 2010-09-01T12:15:58+00:00

Solution: The male pill.

kanuk876 · 2010-08-31T23:44:26+00:00

of course she can. men do not have reproductive rights, unfortunately. it's probably the only legal form of fraud.

remember, when it comes time to pony up child support and all that, the court will do whatever is in the best interest of the child; and throwing the baby's mother in jail is not in its best interest.

kachapati · 2010-09-01T12:15:33+00:00

Does she have the right to do this? Is she obliged to tell her partner that she is discontinuing their shared birth control plan?

No, a woman never has the right to do this. Yes, she is always obligated to keep her partner updated as to her birth control status, even to the point of advising him to wear a condom when she has recently missed a dose.

2010-08-31T22:32:54+00:00

Yes, as in she can go off it without telling you. Though, she would be an inconsiderate asshole, increasing the risk of pregnancy.

gprime · 2010-08-31T23:36:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

admiralrollerskates · 2010-09-01T05:47:31+00:00

Legally yes, you would be responsible for child support etc. and have no legal recourse against her. Here is a case out of New Mexico, most states follow this approach.n

menareangrynow · 2010-09-01T21:37:08+00:00

If I were a judge I'd count that as gross negligence, personally.

redsteakraw · 2010-09-01T04:41:51+00:00

Does a man have a right to get a vasectomy without telling his wife-- who wants to get pregnant?

Gareth321 · 2010-09-01T06:15:53+00:00

This is why a lot of us are pushing the notion of financial abortion, or paternity agreements. Both partners sign an agreement to the effect that if one partner becomes pregnant, the man is not financially responsible unless he opts in. I actually support this as a federal/state/crown law, rather than an opt-in contract. One step at a time.

redsteakraw · 2010-09-01T04:53:47+00:00

Parents; I would say no, most likely it would be to go on the pills in some states. The partner unless they have a contract she could. It is a sociopathic move but can be done. Most courts won't care what you say unless you have proof in writing. You also would have to have proof that she stopped.

Have a friend (who doesn't know that she is pregnant) punch her in the stomach to temporally solve the problem.

kvachon · 2010-09-01T06:06:15+00:00

Yeah, but its a total bitch move worthy of a public shaming and endless legal problems. Not to mention the utter selfishness of bringing a child into a (now) loveless home.

Liverotto · 2010-09-01T09:00:33+00:00

In this sick feminist society?

analfuck · 2010-08-31T22:37:23+00:00

Until you are 18 I own you so keep taking the little damn pill before I send you to Africa and have your pussy closed up. You are lucky I let you go off because I know what you are doing fucking that little brat asshole that you think will be with you forever. Wake up little girl you don't know shit so do what your Dad and Mom tells you to do because 'we' know what is best for you

Title	Does a woman have the right to go off birth control without telling her partner?
Author	stemgang
Upvotes	19
Comments	59
Date	August 31, 2010 10:31 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/d7x49/does_a_woman_have_the_right_to_go_off_birth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/does-a-woman-have-the-right-to-go-off-birth.1047766 https://theredarchive.com/post/1047766

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