When do you fire your lawyer?

cloudburr · 2021-08-17T12:25:17+00:00

For me it was when my lawyer looked at me and said "This is the best we're going to get". After a year of negotiating and paying her fees the deal on the table was absolute shit. I was giving up 70% of my weath, ex go to keep the family home, and got 25% of my income.

Fuck that.

I fired her, and interviewed others. I got myself an older lawyer, she gave me the first meeting for free. She explained how the system worked, the strategy to take with negotiations etc. She even gave me a pen and paper to take notes.

She said what I was asking for was perfectly reasonable. She then went to war for me.

And guess what. I got more than I was asking for.

That first lawyer was abysmal, her fees were high but she wasn't listening to me.

Fire your lawyer, find one that will go to war for you.

25_years · 2021-08-17T14:09:47+00:00

I expected Saul Goodman. What I got was the limp-wristed real estate lawyer who worked for Jesse's parents.

If you don't get the reference, I expected my lawyer to fight back against the other lawyer using any means necessary. I was fighting for my life.

To be clear, in my case, I never expected to go to trial. My ex-wife and I didn't have much to fight over. I was very open to negotiation and settlements. But she got herself a nasty lawyer who really seemed to know every dirty trick in the book.

When this all became clear to me, I expected my lawyer to fight back. Instead -- and I really couldn't believe this was happening -- my lawyer LECTURED ME about ethics, and how she was ethically-bound as an "officer of the court" to be ethical. She gave me a 20-minute lecture (and I was being charged $350/hour). I interrupted her several times to skip over the law school scripture and get to the fucking point.

My lawyer insisted to go 'by the book' while it was clear the other lawyer was not. I was shocked that my lawyer didn't have any plan at all to fight back. Opposing lawyer would be late on replying to demands; simply 'forget' things when it convenienced her; buried my lawyer in pointless stacks of paper to drive up my legal fees; filed false claims; suborned perjury; you name it.

The last straw was child support. The opposing lawyer "cooked the books" on the child support formula. She manipulated the numbers until I was buried alive in debt. When I pointed this out to my lawyer, she said the good news is that when I fall behind in payments, I can petition the court to have visitation with my children in jail, so I can still see them.

Holy Fucking Hell. THAT's your fight? THAT is your Good News? THAT is the best you can do?

Throwaway4120213 · 2021-08-17T16:05:07+00:00

The lawyer community often knows each other - they know which ones are mill lawyers who are just there for a paycheck and won’t fight for their clients - those are the ones opposing lawyers steamroll. Sounds like your wife’s lawyer knows she has the upper hand and this is the most your lawyer can get for you.

At this point - you are going to trial for 50-50. The status quo isn’t getting you there so you either: 1) switch lawyers so the opposing side knows your serious and bring them back to the negotiating table or 2) go to trial - the question then is whether your current lawyer is good at litigation and whether this is the lawyer you want to go to Court with.

I fired mine after I realized she was pushing a “rule of thumb” settlement on me instead of fighting for me and the opposing side was ready to call her bluff on even reasonable proposals.

Descarted1 · 2021-08-17T16:06:46+00:00

After laying out my story to my lawyer, she eyed me up, and told me "well, it sounds like you didn't do anything to deserve that". It made me feel like I was guilty right off the bat, and I had to prove my innocence to her in a sense. It was belittling. I sound like a pussy typing that out now but I felt quite vulnerable at the time. It felt like I had to keep my stbxw happy and my lawyer as well lol.

I was going to fire her when she told me to pay my spouse support and also back support for the months we were apart while she was with her affair partner. I told her flat out no way that would happen without a court order. In my estimation, I felt my case was too far along in the process and I was stuck. There is always that creeping suspicion that there is was some collusion with the opposing lawyer, and that I was kept in the dark on the process.

Anyone going through this must also remember that lawyers don't give out freebies. Everything is billable. This means every phone call or email. Just a simple "how much longer?" is $$$ to them. I cant imagine what a full on contentious divorce would do to a lot of men's finances especially when there are children involved.

WartimeDad · 2021-08-17T15:11:35+00:00

Man that’s brutal. Switching can be costly but it sounds ridiculous. Are you guilty of DV? Have you gotten a guardian ad litem?

pegleg_legal · 2021-08-18T01:45:11+00:00

You fire your lawyer a the most strategically opportune time to throw off the other party.
You consider the lawyer you have now, their character and demeanor, and you get someone opposite - probably vicious in your case. And also someone that can handle the other side. If you're going to trial, get a fucking trial lawyer that is better than your wife's lawyer.
I've been the replacement lawyer and I've been fired. Meh. It's about getting the client what they want if you can, and if they don't think you can or have some other problem. Laters.

Is there a legal impediment to you getting 50/50 or toward reaching your other goals or your lawyer is outmatched or your spouse is just hell-bent on being unreasonable?

You have told your lawyer you want 50/50 but has your lawyer ever told you you can get that? It's not like you can just demand an outcome.

Is it your lawyer or your ex or your ex's lawyer?

SwamiSweatSocks · 2021-08-18T02:56:48+00:00

After such a bad divorce myself and horrible representation, I am seriously considering law school and becoming a father's rights attorney.

lemmingsrevenge · 2021-08-18T04:25:30+00:00

Well obviously your ex isn't going to agree to 50/50. Your lawyer has no control over that. Your lawyer can't bend your ex's arm to give you more time.

Yeah and sometimes it comes down to a trial if the other side is unmovable.

Having a lawyer doesn't guarantee you to the outcome you desire. A good lawyer will know when to wait and when to strike. A bad lawyer will just keep striking hoping to hit gold.

Title	When do you fire your lawyer?
Author	Least_Attorney9006
Upvotes	5
Comments	13
Date	August 17, 2021 11:31 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/p61xbn/when_do_you_fire_your_lawyer/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-do-you-fire-your-lawyer.1058303 https://theredarchive.com/post/1058303

Comments