I’m generally not a fan of the men’s rights sub but this is spot on

Regs2 · 2019-12-27T22:22:03+00:00

This is spot on how I feel. I've been chastised for not being forward enough by women because if I'm wrong I'm the creep at best or a sexual predator at worst. Even if it's just a smile, if they don't see me as an attractive guy I'm creepy and weird.

We recently had company wide sexual harassment training where it was said that talking about any physical characteristic, even dress can be seen as harassment. Someone even questioned the presenter on this and she doubled down that this can most definitely be harassment. But this was obviously meant exclusively for the men. A couple days after, I had a women comment on something I was wearing and I brought this up and broke out the booklet that says "Commenting on a co-workers appearance can be harassment" and was laughed off and told straight that this didn't apply. I responded that "if you want to risk your job , that's your choice. I'm not gonna get fired because I can't keep things professional" and just walked off. What it comes down to is "damned if you, damned if you don't". But I'd rather be the weird guy with a job.

ur_waifus_prolapse · 2019-12-28T01:34:46+00:00

The "nice guy" slur is just feminist deflection. "Nice guys" don't think they deserve sex because they're "nice" in some cosmic sense. They're trying to grapple with the fact that they're scorned, shamed, emasculated, and involuntarily celibate for decades, whereas serial wife beaters, drug addicts, and violent idiots are seemingly swimming in pussy. Their feminist media can't stop screaming about how horrible abuse and toxicity are, and yet extreme toxicity is rewarded; a toxicity that they do not share on every observable axis. When you're deep into feminist "respect women" mode, and you start noticing these things, your brain almost melts trying to deal with the cognitive dissonance.

There are only two ways to resolve the dissonance: either convince yourself you are somehow more toxically masculine in your soft-spoken, egalitarian liberalism than the rapists and the thugs in an act of supreme self-hatred, or accept that there is something deeply dysfunctional in women's mate choices.

Flaktrack · 2019-12-28T02:23:41+00:00

Like a lot of the commenters there, I struggled with some minor NiceGuy shit because I believed the lies the feminists who kept coming to my schools told us. It took a while for the cognitive dissonance to be too much to handle but wow was it ever a liberating experience to just trust my self and be a man.

It's a message I've spread ever since: don't let women tell you what being a man means because they do not understand. Find men who live good lives and let them be your role models.

LacklustreFriend · 2019-12-28T00:58:27+00:00

It case you missed it that post was made by one of the current mods of this subreddit, albeit before this subreddit was created.

rotmeat · 2019-12-28T08:37:43+00:00

The problem with gender has more or less always been that 1) most women don't like hostile sexism but 2) most women really like benevolent sexism and 3) benevolent sexism and hostile sexism are inextricably tied to each other.

This leads to revolutions (and counter-revolutions, and counter-counter-revolutions) where different groups of women try to dictate what the best balance is, and different groups of men do their best to placate them.

Feminist women, speaking very broadly, focus on promoting non-hostile sexism (meaning both the idea of equality as well as the frequent practice of benevolent sexism). But in doing so, they encourage egalitarian men to drop the behaviors that women are attracted to in the first place, leading to even the vast majority of feminist women preferring sexist men over egalitarian ones (original research paper here).

So, a lot of men wind up in this trap where they want to not be a bad, evil, misogynistic man, but then become undateable even by feminist women when they accomplish that.

They say the personal is the political.

I really hate the idea that personal experiences really matter in the grand scheme of things given all that we know about bias and so on, but for the feminists that read the sub, I'll add that the research 100% backs up my own experiences.

My very first non-online girlfriend, who was a staunch feminist, cheated on me with a guy she herself described as an asshole, and I found myself getting repeatedly cheated on, abused, and treated like a loser, including by other feminist women, specifically (and explicitly) for not being a sexist, not engaging in "toxic masculinity," and so on.

I'm sure there are assholes who really do treat women like sex PEZ dispensers (I really do), but when I hear some guy wonder why he can't get laid when he's such a nice guy, I'm frankly not concerned about the obnoxious guy complaining on Facebook that some specific woman didn't give him sex; instead, I'm remembering the last half a dozen times I was abused or treated like shit specifically because I wasn't sexist enough for the women in my life.

Women need to be better.

serpentineeyelash · 2019-12-28T09:11:46+00:00

I pretty much agree with all that. Feminists browbeat us into following all their rules, and then turn around and browbeat us for following their rules too well. It's one of the things that makes it very difficult for me to see feminism as a well-intentioned movement.

Forgetaboutthelonely · 2019-12-28T17:43:40+00:00

oh hey, i wrote this. lmao.

liztu_june · 2020-01-01T10:28:44+00:00

This sub is less toxic then the men's rights sub.

Yes male sexuality needs to be socially acceptable and the male sexuality is inherently violent stereotype needs to die.

azazelcrowley · 2019-12-30T00:06:34+00:00

It's an example of generations long gaslighting of men by feminists. I made a thread a while back on mens rights in reference to a menslib thread where the posters were admitting spending time in feminist spaces basically makes them mentally ill and racked with self-confidence issues and shame, it dabbled into them admitting they were basically nice guys for ages as a consequence too.

That is not a result that can arise from an empathetic and sincere engagement with men.

highmrk · 2019-12-31T03:21:41+00:00

Yeah dude we gotta deprogram ourselves. Read the classic books! And FYI don’t just blame feminism. Look at the role of capitalism and our broader push at urbanization.

Title	I’m generally not a fan of the men’s rights sub but this is spot on
Author	Iaboveall
Upvotes	40
Comments	35
Date	December 27, 2019 9:28 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/egh798/im_generally_not_a_fan_of_the_mens_rights_sub_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/im-generally-not-a-fan-of-the-mens-rights-sub-but.1064244 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064244

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