How did you cope with not seeing your children 24/7

capnjackstation · 2021-10-02T01:47:57+00:00

I’m in the same boat. Stay at home dad, just separated and have been with my kids all day everyday for the past 9 years. It sucks but I’m embracing the days off from the kids by trying to go out and do things I couldn’t do when married. If your STBX is a decent mom your kids will be safe. Although the split will effect them. If you can get them counseling.

NoEntertainment3490 · 2021-10-02T02:20:43+00:00

Very poorly. Mostly alcohol and pussy. Would not recommend. I’m much better now about a year post separation

burninglass19 · 2021-10-02T02:49:43+00:00

Not a stay at home dad, but this is also what scares the shit out of me. I’m a very hands on do everything with the kids. With my 6 year old I’ve developed that bond and I think it’ll be fine, but with my 3 year old he’s still so young I just can’t imagine not being there everyday with him.

dirtycochise · 2021-10-02T02:21:36+00:00

It’s rough man for sure. Best advice I can give you is after the first few weeks and you start getting used to them not being around, start doing something for yourself. Workout learn a new hobby something to occupy your time

talkstomuch2020 · 2021-10-02T03:09:54+00:00

12 step program. Find the rooms and hold on.

Glass-Speed-7018 · 2021-10-02T03:44:12+00:00

One day at a time. I’m a better dad because now my sole focus is my kids. And with technology, being able to talk to them or even FaceTime every day has helped. It’s not the same but it’s better than nothing. Everyone always says things get better and that’s my focus. It’s rough now but hopefully in the end, it will all be better. Stay strong!

ciscokid12345 · 2021-10-02T13:18:09+00:00

start learning about you… what did you used to do before you surrendered your life to a woman? start a band, get ripped at the gym, play golf 3 times a week, start a blog, join a yoga gym, go back to college, etc. turns out being an unattached adult it’s pretty fun. the pain will subside and you will learn to love the new you. side note: there are a lot of studies showing depression is related to your diet, so stay off the booze and eat a lot of veggies.

CoachBob19 · 2021-10-02T10:06:42+00:00

It’s hard but I realized my kids are not the most important relationship in my life. God and my wife (remarried) come first. They are older but it still applies. As long as you’re providing for them and guiding them to the best of your ability when you see them, the rest is just our ego longing for connection.

S4z3r4c · 2021-10-02T08:07:50+00:00

Honestly, I just bury my feelings and make the days I have with her count.

c4944e830acd · 2021-10-02T11:49:09+00:00

They're basically not my children anymore.

Kingofpain84 · 2021-10-02T20:37:08+00:00

I have a 50/50 schedule with my ex, it sucks not seeing them every day, but at the same time it gives me time to recoup and be me, so I can give it everything when we are together. In fact, it was part of the reason I wanted to divorce in the first place. My kids saw me every day, but telnet saw an asshole all the time. Now, I’m building a much better perspective, so it’s way better for them

Sectionz2 · 2021-10-02T15:23:49+00:00

This was terrifying to me at first,but you’ll adjust, they need you to be the best dad you can be. Make the most of the time when you’re with them, really engage with them, make time to take them for dinner when you don’t have them. Be very selective about who you end up with next, you need somebody that can accept your children as their own

ProchinaMarxist · 2021-10-02T16:03:24+00:00

It's hard, but for now I just accept it. The kid is not as unhappy as I thought. So that helps. And I just try to put him first.

Title	How did you cope with not seeing your children 24/7
Author	mikeyd21
Upvotes	17
Comments	46
Date	October 2, 2021 1:40 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/pzlv37/how_did_you_cope_with_not_seeing_your_children_247/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-did-you-cope-with-not-seeing-your-children-247.1072936 https://theredarchive.com/post/1072936

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