TL;DR Asserting yourself in social situations is a key Alpha tenet. Being polite will get you far if you apply it properly. Be charitable and provide for the needs of other WITHOUT giving in to shit tests or disobeying your core laurels.

Edit Primer - Amused Mastery

Why Being Polite is not Beta

With all of the concepts, field reports, and essays a person may read when learning the truths of TRP, one thing is clear. Thinking about others well-being, providing and caring for another human, and guiding the course of others actions are not beta traits. These are the traits of an alpha. An alpha provides for his flock. He sees to it that all in his flock (or soft harem) are comfortable and without need. When I say need, I don’t mean ‘I need a drink.’ Or ‘I need you to hug me’. These are shit tests and are not to be put up with. An alpha male ensures that his partner, friend, plate, etc. is well taken care of and comfortable. In the Captain/First Mate philosophy, the Captain is in charge of the ship. The Captain’s job is to see that his ship is in good order from mechanics to morale. This is ideal for an alpha because it means that he will be able to get what he is seeking (sex, friendship, monogamy) easier because the other person is in a ready state and receptive to his advances. Queue Star Trek reference: Ryker was always ‘second in command’. This never affected his alpha status with the people he interacted with.

Altruism is an alpha trait. Thinking of others before yourself is not only righteous, but ensures survival in an ever changing climate. If you extrapolate on this concept, you begin to see how this can apply to a wide variety of situations in life. For instance, being charitable or giving of your time or money without the expectation of a reward, is an alpha trait. It means that the alpha’s bounty is overflowing and he is giving back to his flock, community, children, the elderly, or whomever. It means that he has all that he needs and wants to see that the others needs are met as well. People respond highly to this type of behavior. It invokes a feeling that the alpha male is in control of his life, his fortune, and his behaviors towards others.

Being polite in social settings can be an alpha trait if used properly. Many essays are written about maintaining frame, steering the conversation, being funny, negging, and generally getting what you want in either a one on one or group setting. The Venusian Arts Handbook talks about the importance of being in control of your emotions and the situation at hand. This is where being polite really steps in. Some are tempted to boost their own sensed SMV by putting down another male, whatever their SMV. People do this to service staff all the time. While this shows temporary dominance in a given situation, by very definition this is beta. Buying drinks for a pretty girl so you can talk with her is NOT polite. Speaking clearly, without extraneous cursing or bad language is being polite. Negging is the art of knocking someone down slightly, but politely or without severe malice. This may take preparation. No one said this would be without work.

This general philosophy applies broadly from PUAs to those interested in LTRs. We need to stop using the word ‘provider’ with such a negative connotation. Yes, a devolved beta provider in a quickly dying relationship is a bad thing but this is not the topic for that subject. Being an asshole in public may get you laid, but it does not instill respect for you in others. RESPECT. That is an alpha trait. When people see that you are in a higher social status, or you have accomplished something great, or you are in excellent physical or emotional shape, they WILL RESPECT YOU. No one respects an asshole. They only wait quietly for you to fuck up and then skewer you.

Integrity, by broad definition, means doing the right thing even when no one is looking. This is an alpha trait. This opinion may catch some heat from people with severe type A personality traits. Some only look to gain from situations. This type of thinking may be an alpha trait, but again, in the broad social context, it does not instill respect, collaboration, or trust. Being known as a person that does the right thing is not a beta trait. Again, this is where most become confused. Doing the right thing means helping an old lady cross the street, picking an object up that someone dropped, or not stealing the cash from the register even though you think there is a high probability that you will not get caught. This is the road to becoming a leader among men. BE A LEADER AMONG MEN. This is not a hard philosophy. To some individuals, a good sense of intuition and a strong moral ethic contribute to a comfortable sense of dominance. Being a leader is not an art, it is something that can be learned with patience and diligence. Speaking up when you see that something is not right is a trait of a leader. Being a leader is a definite alpha trait. Incessantly doting on some girl that you want to have sex with is NOT being polite. Buying dinner and trying to demonstrate your power or wealth for the resultant sex you may receive is NOT being polite. Giving in to a woman’s unending emotional battle for a sense of validation is NOT being polite. Not letting a relationship devolve into a beta provider role is NOT being polite.

Okay, you are the crazy cat guy, the artsy but socially inept creeper, or a murderer. Whatever. If you are not the alpha male in a particular situation, that is not a bad thing. A captain/first mate philosophy works well for all kinds of relationships. I see this with ‘soft lesbians’ who are really girls who don’t want to fall in to the captain/first mate role structure. Knowing where your stand in a hierarchy is tantamount to improving your position in that hierarchy. Once you have established where you are you can establish where you are going to set out. If you don’t acknowledge who you are, where you are, you can’t move forward. Stop reading and go watch TV. Go jerk off. Go do what you are trying to avoid. Or read on.

edit: Added TL;DR