do some women see men just as sex objects?

BloomingBrains · 2021-10-31T21:43:01+00:00

It certainly seems that way if you look at a lot of dating/feminist subreddits (and oftentimes they're the same thing). It's like there is this attitude of "Men are so annoying and awful so they're only good to have sex with." Which ironically isn't all that much different from old patriarchal notions that women are airheaded and only good for sex.

Of course, as you pointed out, the men that are "good for sex" in this equation are only the topmost attractive ones. Its like all of the allegations about male conduct are magically suspended when its an attractive guy doing it (sexually aggressive? Oh that's just manly). This arises from the obsession with "nice guys"...when its believed that no man is genuinely nice for some reason other than selfish interest/manipulation, the logical conclusion is to go for the most attractive "devil you know" so that you are "at least having some fun".

This may be part of why NSA sex has become the norm, rather than romantic dating. Also explains the hyperselectiveness.

Of course, there are men who still see women as sex objects in the modern age as well. The thing though is that society at least acknowledges them (even if privately fuckbois are glorified when they're attractive). The insidious thing about female objectification of men though is that its disguised as misogyny against them rather than misandry committed by them. It's couched in the language of "Oh, I have no choice but to do this because men suck so much". That makes it very hard for the average person who doesn't spend a lot of time analyzing these issues like we do to notice it.

throwra_coolname209 · 2021-10-31T19:34:54+00:00

I always get frustrated by this one not because of the number of women who do it but how many of them seem to be completely oblivious to the double standard. There's a lot of people out there that think it's "cutesy" if a woman expresses sexual desire even if it completely objectifies a person. Hell, my ex (super into radical feminism, body positivity) was on Twitter just last week openly thirsting over a new guy at her office because he was 6'4". Made me feel really icky because she often got pissed off at people for the same types of comments.

I'd say the double standard and acceptance of this when it's from a woman is more a problem than the objectifying itself. And as far as sex objects, I think that's more of a rarity at least when talking about women. Men tend to be seen as "success" objects where our careers and "life stability" are judged rather than our bodies.

revente · 2021-10-31T21:58:23+00:00

Well the argument is stupid anyway. We fuck people not objects. And it’s perfectly fine to look at someone only from the sex perspective.

SamaelET · 2021-10-31T19:11:31+00:00

I had a time when I was a little focus on this issue :

What male strippers face.

Feminist's hypocrisy on male objectification

Ellen's show wih male strippers getting spanked

Two little thread about the demonization male sexuality and how women objectifiying men is encouraged.

I don't see the issue of women objectifying men talked a lot. Despite that, I believe it is a problem.

Here a testimony from a bar manager :

https://np.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/nkexpy/%E2%80%9CA_man_in_a_room_full_of_women_is_excited_a_woman_in_a_room_full_of_men_is_terrified.%E2%80%9D/gzd5mom/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

How women male staff or even sexual entertainers is more telling of the amount of respect women have toward male consent and intimacy. It is the quintessence of objectification. Whenever they find a male attractive, even more so if there are almost only women around, they treat men as object existing to be touched and groped.

Here is a testimony from a male topless waiter (wearing nothing except apron) :

I worked a job once with over 300 women in attendance, there's usually one or two women at a party who'll cause you problems (slap your arse, lift your apron etc.) nothing to harmful. Bear in mind a normal job is about 20 women.

Well scale it up to 300 and I was soon surrounded by all the rowdy ones. It went from banter, to cheeky messing around to borderline sexual abuse pretty quickly. I managed to fight my way through them whilst smiling and seeming cool with it, but it was a strange feeling.

Never really felt exploited before that in that way.

Bonus :

Here is a little stats with naked butlers in bachelorette parties. 66% of the brides to be gope their ass. This here carry a grain of total disrespect from women toward their groom and boyfriends (since the friends of the bride probably touch as much). Mothers of the bride even carry these behaviors which tell a lot about daughters' respect toward their fathers. I also read testimony of a male stripper who was encouraged to have sex with the bride by the groom's mother.

I have a feeling that women's sexuality is free of any form of concern about men's comfort, respect and trust. Something purely innocent and that only belong to the woman. While male sexuality is strongly controlled, viewed as evil, dangerous or a beast that should be harnessed (to give pleasure to women, to be loyal to women and repectful of women).

weebupurplecat · 2021-11-01T00:32:46+00:00

Yeah, it's this mindset that because you're a victim of such things, you're allowed to do it to others and it is SO toxic.

Honestly, the best way to tackle it in my opinion is to teach everyone that no one, regardless of gender, is a sex object.

People who judge others based on appearance are just such a headache.

BlueBlood75 · 2021-10-31T22:02:16+00:00

My past couple of girlfriends seemed to have, along with one in college that preyed on my freshman naivety and basically just had a fetish for black guys.

quesadilla_dinosaur · 2021-10-31T23:29:32+00:00

Yes. But not just sex objects but also “success objects”.

Not all women, and many women who are in relationships and have to reckon with their actual biases do view men as human.

turbulance4 · 2021-11-01T02:44:35+00:00

The iron law of feminism: Literally everything they say is projection. That is to say not only are they wrong, but it is literally the opposite of the truth. "Women are disadvantaged in the workplace." No. Literally the opposite, women are given every advantage in both hiring and promotions. Men are disadvantaged. "We need more women in academia." No. Women far outnumber men at every level in academia.

And this too is projection. "Men see women as sex objects." No. I don't have the research studies to support this one, but at least anecdotally, I know I've found far too many women looking for nothing more than a quick fuck when I was looking for something more long term. It took me a while to get used to it and actually start turning them down, when that was the obvious intent.

TheLWMA · 2021-10-31T18:21:32+00:00

The same way we deal with men who objectify women. Tell them to be more respectful.

Pantusu · 2021-10-31T22:00:43+00:00

Break down the concept of "sex object." What precisely does it mean? Is it "appreciating the sexual desirability of another without thinking and appreciating their thoughts and personality?" How do you think and appreciate another's thoughts? Empathy.

Do you believe men and women both slide from either extreme along the scale of empathy? I know I wouldn't give any further attention to anyone who claimed otherwise. I have seen more than one man as the tenderest father or husband, and more than one woman as the most pitiless CEO or faithless politician, once society allowed for it.

Are there certain genetic predispositions that may make women less likely to be inclined towards it? Possibly. Is it more likely that societal pressures contribute far more? I'm of the opinion yes.

GornoP · 2021-10-31T21:27:24+00:00

I don't think this is enough of an issue to worry about. An argument could me made that the degree to which men only see women as sex object is overblown might be made... but I wouldn't bother with that much either. Both are arguments in decimal places.

2021-10-31T19:55:32+00:00

I'm not sure what needs to be done if anything. Anytime I've heard something like that from a woman she is just being salty because she isn't able to leverage her looks for anything. I've never felt the need to justify my appreciation for a good looking woman, have you?

WeaknessTechnical654 · 2021-10-31T19:20:48+00:00

Same reason why men do...

DanteLivra · 2021-10-31T23:34:15+00:00

Yes, plenty of them are.

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