Sorry for the burner account my my STBX reddit stalks me, lurks this sub, and this will be a very recognizable post.

STBX and I are about 10 months into a mandatory 1 year separation. After numerous arguments concerning support, alimony, and whatever else she feels entitled to at the moment we agreed to no longer talk directly and to speak through the attorneys. Eventually we landed somewhere in the realm of 40% of my net income. I supposed I could have done worse or better but for the sake of my mental health I just needed this part firmed up. The constantly changing numbers was driving me mad.

It seemed like things were all ready to be finalized. Sale of houses, dissolving 401ks, etc...

However when it came to our marital home, where she resides with the kids now things took a turn. Like everywhere, the housing and rental market is insane right now. It took me over 2 months to just find an apartment that I didn't even want. And here comes the good deed... My attorney had written up the settlement stating the martial home would be listed for sale within 30 days of the divorce. I thought about how logistically difficult that would be for her so I had the statement rewritten to 120 days. I called her to discuss the 120 days, we had a cordial discussion, and I felt good about the situation. We were getting along, coparenting well, and I was doing executing this gesture of good will right? That is until the following landed in my inbox yesterday:

The parties are agreed that Wife shall have possession of the house, and acreage located within at

, until July 15, 2024 (the summer before starts High School). On or about July 15, 2024, the parties shall sell this house.

I of course called her to see how misunderstanding occurred and she insisted that when we talked I agreed to give her 2 years in the house. I'm not sure if I misspoke or what happened but this is not my recollection of the conversation. She was even expressing how the house is too expensive to maintain, the bills are too high and I could have the house if I wanted it. Hell, I even floated the idea of her staying here while she transitioned during that talk. She then accused me of being drunk and not remembering...

Now, I don't think I'd have too much of a problem with this 2 year thing. I imagine it's a pretty unconventional request but at least my kids would be in a good location for a couple more years while she figures out life. My hang up is my VA home loan is tied to this property. She's known for months now how badly I wanted to recover my benefits so I can escape apartment life and find myself a real home. The entire thing came off as a personal attack and not some attempt to keep my daughter in her current school as it was framed.

I called the VA just to understand my rights here and they informed me that since only my name is on the loan I do have some leverage to force a sale. Not that I took this as legal advice but it was good information to have.

When I spoke to STBX about the situation she really let me have it. That I am forcing the kids out of their home, that I should have never contacted the VA (I didn't identify myself so that's irrelevant), and that she called her lawyer and "We're starting over, see you in mediation".

I know this is long I just needed to get it out there I guess. I feel like everything went from on track to finally being over and done with to completely upside down overnight. I have no idea what to do. Thanks for reading friends.