My pregnant ex-girlfriend wants to circumcise our future son. I do not.

justmadlyhatting · 2022-03-12T19:37:59+00:00

Protect your son at all costs. That is your primary responsibility as a father.

tasfa10 · 2022-03-12T22:32:37+00:00

Don't let her. Tell her that if your son wants to make that choice for himself later in life he can. You don't have to choose whether he's circumcised or not. You can just leave it up to him when he's old enough. But if you do it you're taking his choice from him. There's no reason to mutilate someone when it's not a medical necessity.

Dorkzilla_ftw · 2022-03-12T20:20:23+00:00

I am circumcised and wish I wasn't.

Blocka10 · 2022-03-12T21:58:51+00:00

Ask her if she’s ok with Female genital mutilation? If not tell her why is it ok for a male then

2022-03-13T13:56:47+00:00

My mother is a nurse and has said she has seen the operation done and said it was horrific. I thank the universe that my mother kept me and my bro from that fate. My father has told me he feels like something was stolen from him. I have a theory that believe works , intact males seem to be much more chill, and cut guys are a little hyped all the time. I can usually guess cut or uncut based on how I interact with them and what their energy feels like.

extranotextra · 2022-03-12T19:56:51+00:00

If the reason she wants to do it is the social aspect, one thing that could help is to poll your male friends about their opinions, it might reassure her to hear the point of view from several men.

A couple I know who were leaning towards not circumcising their son did this. If you know them well enough to ask, it would be best to hear from some men who aren’t circumcised. They made a point to ask their gay friends if there was any stigma in the gay community as well. Neither of the parents needed to have their minds changed, so it was more due diligence than convincing, but maybe could still help.

reasonNlogic28 · 2022-03-13T01:00:39+00:00

Make sure you get a paternity test. You've got to be able to prove you are the father before you have a say in the child's well-being. As the father, you can prevent your son's circumcision.

a-man-from-earth · 2022-03-13T00:42:16+00:00

He legally isn't the father yet, so there is very little he can do but try to convince her.

YesYesYesVeryGood · 2022-03-13T03:23:25+00:00

I (41M) got circumcised at age 39 for medical reasons. I am glad that I had the option in my adulthood to do so. I made the choice of my own will, and it was for my benefit.

todaystomsawyr · 2022-03-12T19:45:08+00:00

Oof...why does she want to do that...

I'm reluctant to go down this rabbit hole.

This better not be a situation where the reason she wants to do that is because she knows you're not in favor!

OnThatSigmaGrindset · 2022-03-13T16:46:13+00:00

do anything to protect your son from that foreskin cutter.

355822 · 2022-03-13T16:59:22+00:00

Ask her if she'd cut off her clit hood. Same bit of skin on a woman's body. I personally think circumcision at birth should be a crime of abuse.

Frosty-Gate-8094 · 2022-03-13T04:53:38+00:00

Legally he cannot possibly prevent it (in USA at least).

Best option is to sue the mother to legally prevent it.
Of course he will lose, but it will leave a 'paper trail'.

Then he can go to the mother and tell her that, if she still goes ahead with circumcision, he will show all the papers to his son when he grows up. And tell him the reason why he was circumcised, and who is responsible for it.

I am sure, the mother will reconsider when faced with this threat. (The son may not react badly. But his reaction is unpredictable. So, she will certainly have second thoughts).

03Randomguy · 2022-03-12T22:53:02+00:00

Try giving her some of the educational material available from Your Whole Baby or Intact America or similar site. I shit you not but try listening to her reasoning first then gently explain how the boy has a right to his own genital integrity. Explain how an intact infant takes less care than one with an open wound.
Good luck.

2022-03-13T01:06:58+00:00

OP of that post deleted it, so I posted it here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/GrossCutters/comments/tcvhk9/thats_a_gross_exgf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

George-Patton21 · 2022-03-13T02:32:52+00:00

Get a lawyer.

AdAcademic4290 · 2022-03-13T17:27:15+00:00

Remember - "The most common cause of penile injuries is... from complications of circumcision" Joyce C. Arpilleda MD FAAP pg 163 Strange & Schafermeyer's Pediatric Emergency Medicine 4th ed 2015

"The majority of... circumcisions...are unnecessary (ie normal non-retractile foreskins..." "...Most cases of penile trauma are... as a result of circumcision. Bleeding post-circumcision usually needs exploration under anesthetic." pg 880-881 Oxford Handbook of Pediatrics 2nd ed 2013

[in infants or children, the foreskin is generally fused to the glans, keeping the area sanitary. Most males become retractable by 10 1/2 years old. Some are older; and that is fine too. Once retractable, all the male need do is pull back the foreskin, rinse off with clean water during his normal shower or bath and pull the foreskin back down. All gently of course. Takes seconds.]

Both of the above books are medical textbooks, used to train doctors, nurses, clinicians etc who work in ERs (A&Es), providing emergency medical care to infant / child patients. If you wish to view the books yourself, you may find them in university libraries or university bookshops.

Every body part is a work of art...so why take a knife to the canvas?

2022-03-14T05:38:55+00:00

Have her ask the pediatrician. (hopefully you've chosen one that's against it.)

My child's father was circumcised. He had a lot of pressure from his dad to do it to our son. (the obsession with his grandsons penis I'll never understand) he fought me on it for months.

We went to the pediatrician and he asked her point blank period what we should do and she told him a big fat no. There's no reason for it at all and it isn't worth the risk. If you can have a pediatrician explain exactly the risks, the process involved, and what can possibly occur down the line, maybe she'll change her mind.

If she doesn't then you go to every single appointment if you can, or get contact info for the pediatrician that's decided on and make it clear that as the other parent you don't consent. Very few if not none will go ahead with that procedure if one parent is so strongly against it. At least, if they're respectable they won't.

From what I understand you can file legal injunctions to stop it if she tries to do it anyway, though that can get messy.

Normal-Yogurtcloset5 · 2022-03-13T01:20:58+00:00

Tell her that, if you two ever have a daughter, you want to have her genitals mutilated, too. Because equality!

2022-03-13T03:14:39+00:00

Ask her how she'd feel if it was her daughters vagina being mutilated.

Viilax · 2022-03-12T22:43:35+00:00

I would say that you guys should talk about it more to understand the different viewpoints. I was circumcised and I really can't say it has any bearing on my life at all. This is a tough one because you can't really compromise on it.

Gamerbrineofficial · 2022-03-13T01:26:05+00:00

I've always wondered what the health effects of circumcision were, can anyone tell me? I was circumcised as a kid and haven't noticed anything negative.

FromAPEX2Aortic · 2022-03-13T15:00:34+00:00

I’m circumcised and would never want to not be. In my opinion, it looks more pleasing to the eye and I’m not ashamed to swing it around when the need arises. I feel bad about it, but I can’t help to think “wtf” when I see an uncircumcised dong.

Saltydawg1064 · 2022-03-13T05:31:54+00:00

i will never understand that way some dudes are wack-a-doodle fanatics about this issue.

do you seriously spend this much time thinking about your dick?

Pick a better fight dudes.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-03-12T20:54:11+00:00

Welcome to the rest of your life. How do you plan to handle disagreements? Do you plan to marry? You will be raising this child together forever. I didn't think it was a hill worth dying on so I relented and my son, now 25, is circumcised.

304_slayer · 2022-03-13T13:41:34+00:00

Don't let her, if she did, it would be a direct violation of his right, I wonder what if the situation is reversed, maybe the whole Internet will collapse. you feel what I mean?

arrouk · 2022-03-13T16:34:03+00:00

Ask her about fgm, once she's gone off for a while about how bad it is call her a hypocrite.

Then once she's calmed down ask if you can actually have a conversation about not mutilating your baby.

Title	My pregnant ex-girlfriend wants to circumcise our future son. I do not.
Author	buyu667
Upvotes	191
Comments	66
Date	March 12, 2022 7:23 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/tcoqha/my_pregnant_exgirlfriend_wants_to_circumcise_our/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-pregnant-ex-girlfriend-wants-to-circumcise-our.1106581 https://theredarchive.com/post/1106581

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