Oddly bothered

peoplearestrangebrew · 2022-04-04T11:06:10+00:00

As someone who is still in the somewhat early stages (less than 1 year) of the process, I am in awe of where you seem to be in the recovery. Who can say what will ever trigger us, and don't feel guilty about not being "okay" with something, or distracted about where we feel we should be in the aftermath. Maybe to get to where you are, you had to bury some things that come out later ? Embrace it, look at it, put it back, and keep going I guess ?

RX8JIM · 2022-04-04T14:02:33+00:00

"a beautiful woman who loves me for me."? Wow, that's quick. Good luck. No sarcasm.

chriscmyer · 2022-04-04T12:17:53+00:00

These are normal feelings certainly and I can understand them as my ex did the same thing. You are worthy. Keep your head up.

WartimeDad · 2022-04-04T18:30:54+00:00

Of course you’re bothered. She’s being ridiculous and it hurts your kids. That’s way too soon. Sorry man your ex fucking sucks and it is what it is.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2022-04-04T13:39:46+00:00

You can’t change or stop what she does. Just know the past is over. You’ll never like he guy really, just stop having anything to do with him. You’re causing yourself pain and agony.

sicrm · 2022-04-04T13:23:22+00:00

deal with the emotions for a little bit, then let them roll off you.

your life will only get better from here on out.

exit affairs tend to either not work or be miserable. be ready and strong enough to say no thanks if your ex tries to come back down the road.

Gattsama · 2022-04-04T22:55:53+00:00

One key thing to always remember is that your feelings are correct and justified. What we then choose to do with those feelings, is under our control. But we can not control the feeling itself. It's ok to be bothered, annoyed, frustrated or angry. But try to remember that man is not upset with the action itself, but by the view we take of the action. And we can also control that.

Embrace whatever you feel, let it wash over you, then wash away and then release. Glad the past year is going well and you found someone that loves you the way you need to be loved. Be safe out there..

Agitated-Fee-6497 · 2022-04-05T09:46:53+00:00

I'm a year into being divorced.....I met my exe after she left her 1st husband within a month of her divorce being final. She had a 3 yr old with him. We moved in together the next year. The first year the exe and I never even met. Then one day when his son had a medical emergency we met at the hospital...it was an awkward meeting but it was the catalyst for us to establish a common objective...we both wanted what was best for the kid. I couldnt control what happened between him and his exe (who is now my exe) he didn't have any ill will towards me (but she didn't cheat on him with me) she cheated on him with another guy that I didn't find out about until she cheated on me 13 years later. Over the 13 years we co-exsisted and raised a kid who is now 17 and a great guy. The kid had his issues and together with his new wife the 4 of us helped the kid work thru them to be the person he is today. Point of the story is at first it was awkward and strange but everyone wanted what was best for the kid and nothing else mattered they both moved on from each other and met new people....me being one and his current wife. Now I don't get to see the kid I raised from age 3-16 at all. I was casted out like I didn't matter. And she is dating the guy she left me for. So I did all the heavy lifting of raising a child and right as he is about to push off to adult hood another guy steps in to get the benefit of my years of dedication. Life deals us shitty cards sometimes. But the kids father texted me to take me for all I did for his son....which is much more than I ever got from his mother at the end.

ElSushiMonsta · 2022-04-04T22:27:10+00:00

You are loved my friend it's hard dealing with past feelings and emotions but you know you are in a better place and have some one that loves you for you. That my friend is hard to find we all love you on here and just keep trucking brotha you got this enjoy your new life and new love.

Dizzy-Ad512 · 2022-04-04T23:33:25+00:00

For the sake of the kids it’s tough but have to deal with your ex’s partner . I know it’s said that done . Don’t know your custody situation with your kids ..

pegleg_legal · 2022-04-05T08:16:53+00:00

Yeah, that'll stir up a bunch of shit in any man.

Does he treat your kids well? Have you thanked him for taking her off your hands? I can see how it would be difficult but having a good relationship with him is the best way to make sure your kids are looked after.

Dizzy-Ad512 · 2022-04-05T22:54:18+00:00

If you want to have a positive relationship with the kids and your ex’s partner doesn’t there is nothing you can do . In the end whatever is best for the kids that needs to be done if that’s possible..

Title	Oddly bothered
Author	Kaintaro
Upvotes	22
Comments	17
Date	April 4, 2022 10:53 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tvz3gm/oddly_bothered/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/oddly-bothered.1108669 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108669

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