Why do men always come back?

KombuchaEnema · 2022-05-23T16:04:32+00:00

Because that’s our culture right now.

At this point a lot of people have undefined and unlabeled relationships. They might get together, have sex, not speak for two weeks, date for a month, break up, not speak for two months, then start sleeping together again…yadda, yadda, yadda.

This is what people are used to doing. Showing up in someone’s life, hanging out for a while, disappearing, etc.

Younger people right now are so horrifically bad at setting boundaries it’s actually scary. The amount of posts I see from people along the lines of “my FWB said he likes me but I saw him post another woman on his Insta and I don’t know if I’m into him but I was a little jealous what should I do?”

When I was flirting with my husband, I wasn’t talking to anyone else. When we went on our first date, I still wasn’t talking to anyone else. After we dated for a while, I was comfortable having sex with him. Then we got engaged and married.

Nowadays people will date multiple people, confuse themselves about who they want to be with, whine when they can’t figure it out, and create all sorts of unnecessary drama by maintaining relationships that should’ve died years ago.

These guys come back into your life because they don’t know how to set boundaries, they don’t know how to let things go, they’re emotionally immature, and they don’t know how to properly manage relationships.

I see so many people working themselves in knots over relationships that shouldn’t even exist anymore. It’s so silly.

therosequartzmermaid · 2022-05-23T15:55:30+00:00

It's called 'vacuuming' and its commonly done by narcissists.

Like fishing, they want to throw you the bait and see if you'll still catch, essentially gaging how much power they still have over you and whether they can reel you back into being one of their orbiters and supply when they run low (on self-esteem, etc.) Usually this happens when they have failed in pursuing their other conquests. They want to have you in their life to validate that they still "Have it."

Once they pull you back with whatever you want to hear "I miss you" or "I've been thinking a lot about you" - its really only a matter of time before they start disrespecting you again.

Do. Not. Fall. For. It!

Or better yet beat them at their own game. Leave them on read or stand them up!

jah-roole · 2022-05-23T19:13:37+00:00

Some worthless dudes do try to come back once they realize you’re the best they’ve had so far and they were lucky to have you. However, as you said, once a woman is out of your life, she was actually out a looong time ago and is not going to return unless she, herself, is or feels worthless. It’s just a fact of life and a lesson to not be with worthless people who are too many notches below you.

Strixt · 2022-05-23T16:11:37+00:00

Everyone treats everyone as a back up.

It is personal responsibility to block, remove, and be done with them. As you said in your post.

So many people do not block, remove, and follow through with it. What happens is men or women continue to follow and check in with their perceived options at random.

Some men and women like the orbit attention so much they allow it to happen or performing the orbiting has worked out with a positive reaction and thus continue to do it.

If everyone did what you say. “I’m done with someone, I’m done with them.” We would have a healthier society who took more value in keeping relationships/bonds with one another than taking them for granted.

WhatIsThisAccountFor · 2022-05-24T04:34:53+00:00

Lack of sex or attention from other women is usually the reason.

SouthsideCougar · 2022-05-23T17:28:41+00:00

Sex.

1OO_percent_legit · 2022-05-23T18:44:06+00:00

Because there was no better option

chankletavoladora · 2022-05-24T03:18:15+00:00

Sometimes it takes a while and even separation to understand your feelings foe someone.

Scorpion69_ · 2022-05-23T16:25:48+00:00

Because they have no options

sunglasses90 · 2022-05-23T19:43:43+00:00

As an ego boost if you give them attention.

CK_America · 2022-05-23T22:43:33+00:00

You have an entirely different marketplace then men do. There's more men born than women, so the supply and demand is way off. It levels out after about 35+ because Men die off faster. Hence why there are more women in the population, but all the focus on dating is predominantly under 35, so these market dynamics are a good thing to keep in mind. Effects all kinds of stuff, it's why catcalling is more towards women, porn more towards men. Drives me nuts that no one talks about this, but it's a core behavioral driver for every species.

Hence with limited supply, men waffle, and work with what's around, women have abundant supply, relatively, and can cast guys away when they don't make the selection process. It's why women tend to be selecters, and men pursuers. It also explains why on an individual level men and women have similar sex drives, but culturally Men are seen as the hornier ones. It's because they have a tighter market to work with.

anonavocado0 · 2022-05-24T04:11:14+00:00

Boredom or to see if they still have power over you

Weak-Country-9405 · 2022-05-24T10:39:30+00:00

It's not for you, it's for your body

Mirchii · 2022-05-24T13:00:13+00:00

No idea - you will have to ask them. It's no good speculating - you gotta communicate and understand. It will be unique to each situation. It's up to you to either speculate and hearsay thinking everyone is playing you and you're not giving mixed signals yourself etc. OR communicating, understanding and learning what's going wrong and addressing it.

If this is happening to you with every guy you meet then the common factor here is yourself. Either that or they really are being assholes in which case: block, cut all contact, and move on.

As the great philosopher Albus Dumbledore once said: Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.

Title	Why do men always come back?
Author	americanoandpb123
Upvotes	37
Comments	20
Date	May 23, 2022 3:46 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/uw37za/why_do_men_always_come_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/why-do-men-always-come-back.1118836 https://theredarchive.com/post/1118836

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