I'm an early-50s Washington state father that was divorced almost four years ago. I have twin boys that will turn 18 in August, so they're almost legal adults. They're off to university in late August, so we're almost at the finish line.

We share custody 50/50 week on/week off. My boys never have any behavioral issues when with me but their mom's demeanor sets them off and they fight a lot when with her. They were with me through the 4th this week and went to their mother's house on the morning of the 5th. On the evening of the 5th I was in the shower and came out to my phone nearly smoking. About 30 texts and two calls from my ex saying that the boys were fighting, that there had been property damage, and she was threatening to call the police. Moments later I hear my Ring doorbell buzz and fired up the video and my ex was on my doorstep pounding on my door and screaming out my name. I didn't answer the door and instead began immediately calling and texting my boys to make sure they were safe. When I received no replies, I quickly got dressed and drove over to her house and one of my boys came out visibly shaken and got into my car. More texts from my ex telling me that I needed to take one of the boys back with me to split them up. My son who had gotten into my car was despondent and I drove him back to my house, where he has been ever since.

My ex then starting firing off emails that the boys needs to alternate houses separately up until they leave for school in several weeks, which is in clear violation of our court-ordered parenting plan of both boys alternating weeks between each house. Our boys see a therapist and the therapist mentioned that she thought it would be good for the boys to take some time apart from each other. I replied that I would agree for them to be apart for up to 10 days, and my ex has spent this evening sending multiple emails saying that she does not agree to this and that the boys will be alternating houses apart from one another. I could obviously file for Contempt of Court, but I doubt this would make it through the legal process by the time they're off to school.

So I'm not sure what to do here. I'm extremely worried that changing their normal residency is going to make them unstable as they head off to school and my ex has no regard for anyone's opinion but her own. Any thoughts on how to handle this?