I (52) got married quickly and it’s never been a great fit but we’re friends. After 25 years together, I am half dead and will definitely die soon if I don’t get out.

I need ballpark estimates for how to predict my spousal payments, if she keeps our Toronto house and the pets. We have no kids.

Backstory if you are interested:

In retrospect I made a Devil’s bargain, in that I chose someone who was co dependent. I tolerated doing everything so she would never leave. She seemed very independent when we met. I am a door mat, she does literally nothing. Weighs almost 400 pounds and never leaves the house. We haven’t had sex more than once or twice a year for decades. Now we literally can’t.

I have been unfaithful. She’s been unfaithful, or as we both called it- a don’t ask, don’t tell relationship.

I work insane hours and will definitely die soon if I stay in this job. I am contract. When I don’t work, I don’t get paid.

She has worked phone work before and has the potential to make about 33% of what I make. (50k vs 150k) and there is rental income of 18k a year potential if she keeps the house (worth $800K). I don’t know what my pension is but let’s guesstimate it is 200k.

She knows I want a divorce but is dismissing it as me in crisis. I have moved out and the job I work is paying for my apartment for the next few months.

We have no kids.

I think she would be considered disabled due to her weight.

I have lost 40 pounds (healthy weight) and am managing my many health issues with medication and exercise. She literally leaves the couch perhaps 3 times a day. She sleeps on the couch. She does not clean (I go back to the house and vaccuum the pet hair, clean the litter and pick up dog shit, And deliver dog food).I pay all the bills but would happily transfer that to her. I currently give her about $30k every 6 months as security money that she does not have to spend. But she puts her take out food on it. Which is her sole/major expense. I pay all other expenses. She does not drive (let her license lapse).