I see many posts on here saying that people have biological preferences, and while that is true, the people on this subreddit act like all preferences are biological. In this post I will be explaining why that is not the case and what you can do to help this world be a less superficial place.

Some reasons someone may have preferences that have nothing to do with biology include 1. Societal norms and stigmatization 2. Low libido 3. Fetishization

The first and most obvious cause of non biological preferences is society.

Different cultures and different time periods have vastly different ideas of what makes someone attractive.

This makes sense. People always want to fit in, or have a good public appearance. It’s why many adults don’t want to admit they watch kid shows right away, or why many people buy Lamborghinis as a flex.

Different cultures and time periods have different expectations to uphold to, and in order for people to avoid being ostracized, they comply to those preferences, even if they don’t want to. And some dating preferences are no different.

Societal expectations have caused people in certain time periods to prefer larger women and men either smaller penises, but societal expectations have caused many more bizarre standards in the past as well. Such as crushing women’s ribs to the point they pass out on couches, binding women’s feet, and even extending their necks.

I didn’t even know I was bisexual until the age of 18. I just felt uncomfortable with the idea of what people would think of me if I was dating a guy, but now that I’m older and more mature, I don’t really care anymore.

But being bisexual more likely to be a biological trait, what I believe modern society really has an influence over are height preferences.

Many girls I know of who lower their height standard admit that height never mattered to them in terms of attractiveness, and the only reason they had height standards in the first place was because they are uncomfortable being seen with a short guy in public. It’s unusual, it makes them feel ostracized, and as a bi guy, I get it.

And it’s not just girls, guys who date tall girls for the first time experience this same discomfort.

Confidence is key, and the more confident you feel with yourself and what you want, the less other people’s opinions are going to matter to you.

The second and less obvious cause for non biological preferences is having a low libido.

I believe this is the reason many girls tend to have higher standards than guys, because girls have lower libidos on average, it takes more for them to get off to someone.

There is a solution to this however, and it’s not as hard as some may think. Regular exercise tends to increase testosterone, a hormone responsible for high libido. But exercise on its own isn’t going to fix your libido completely. Abstaining from porn and masturbation greatly increases your libido so much that many people are attractive, I’ve tried it myself.

These two causes for non biological preferences aren’t nearly as potent as the third one however, and that being Fetishization.

There was an experiment done where partners who wore boots during sex began to associate the boots with sex, and eventually would get aroused just by looking at them. It’s why we find lingerie sexy, and what I believe to be the key to diversifying our sexual interests as humans.

If fetishizing can make boots sexy, it can make other things seem sexy as well. Maybe not to the extent of changing your sexuality, but people who have unfair standards like preferring a certain race or height, may benefit themselves and their potential partners by trying out partners they typically wouldn’t consider.

Edit; this doesn’t necessarily mean fucking people you aren’t attracted to, just fucking people you are less attracted but still find attractive to in order to broaden your horizons.

These are just my ideas, but I want to see what you all think in the comments below.