most women don't sleep around AND also don't have it easy on dating apps

JDWhiz96 · 2022-11-21T15:49:12+00:00

Women have it innately easier due to the fact that they can CHOOSE. Unless you’re in the top 5-1% of men, you don’t choose, you just shoot your shot till it hits. If you have a choice, that’s an automatic improvement over not having one at all.

And if it is true that most people lose their virginity before graduating high school, then I’d stand to believe that most women certainly aren’t virgins.

CombinationUsed7938 · 2022-11-21T16:19:20+00:00

As a man, I don't agree with the dating apps part as their own stats say the opposite. Women indeed have it easier in that world. I personally dropped all dating apps, as they are really frustrating, much more frustrating than dating in real life LMAO.

As a man who knows and hangs out with women, I agree that most of them aren't sleeping around, and that's basically a misconception by people who see it happening once in a while and think all girls are doing that, all the time.

I actually find girls more selective and the people I know who sleep around the most, manipulating the opposite sex into it, are men.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-11-21T15:53:42+00:00

It's not that different from high school where most average girls didn't sleep around BUT were thrilled to get attention from a popular guy. So a little sleeping around, maybe. Popularity was huge then and it still is for women, they just call it "confidence" now.

I have women friends and sisters. Most of them have new relationships very soon after the old one ends. And if they don't it's by their choice, not because they couldn't find someone.

Now I will grant you that some women struggle. My ex is looking for a successful guy who is a self proclaimed feminist on OLD, so she's taking a long time to find someone, but at least she is often having conversations with guys, even if she hasn't landed one yet. She's still in the game. So no I think your premise is way off and I wonder if you actually know any women or have sisters.

habibi_cat · 2022-11-21T16:31:48+00:00

The good old, men bad women good post. Most guys commit with girls who agree for it and not by having high standards.

I keep seeing the same women on the dating apps in rotation because they are obbviously waiting for the right one to come along

They are waiting for the right one while having fun with the wrong ones(chads).

Obviously you want to see if you have common interest, you can communicative, if she is kind, can take care of you and the house and be supportive.

Desperation is a bitch.

throwaway164_3 · 2022-11-21T15:38:00+00:00

I strongly disagree with this view.

In dating, women are passive whereas men are the active pursuers. Consequently, women have it insanely easier on dating apps.

HUMANS (regardless of gender) want someone they are physically attracted to , someone who will love them (not just for their looks/money/whatever) and a partnership. Women just have more barriers to go through in terms of safety and screening the guy

But men and women are fundamentally biologically different and so have evolved different mate selection strategies.

The issue is that average women want commitment from a top guy. Because of biology and evolution, most women don’t enjoy casual sex like men do. But those few top men have options, and so women feel misled when those men sleep with them but don’t commit.

Whereas, the average man gets nothing, neither sex nor commitment. They have it significantly harder in dating than the average woman. Unlike average women, the average man is pretty much invisible.

So what happens is that when women have leverage due to looks when they are young, they sleep with hot men they’re sexually attracted to hoping it translates to commitment.

Then, when they grow older and their looks begin to fade, they settle for the “safe option” man hoping the sexual desire will grow with time.

If you’re an average man, you need to decide for yourself if you’re ok being the safe option she settles for, and not the man she sexually lusts after.

Steakman1 · 2022-11-21T16:18:39+00:00

The way I think is that yes I agree women have their own struggles with dating and that it isn’t easy mode like a lot of guys here claim. But when it specifically comes to dating apps, I constantly hear how men on there just want casual sex. Now I don’t necessarily believe in the 80/20 rule irl, but I do believe it’s more accurate when it comes to dating apps. The priority on dating apps is usually how much sex appeal the person has. So if people are prioritizing lust, then I don’t get how they can be surprised when they continuously match with people who are low effort and not looking for commitment. I don’t deny that there are average looking men on dating apps looking for casual sex still. But the question I ask to women who use dating apps is, is it that almost all men on there want casual sex and nothing more? Or is it that you only match with those type of guys because you continuously prioritize sex appeal over all else? Just something to think about. I don’t have any sort of stat on how many men on dating apps are looking for relationships and am not making an affirmative claim on the matter. I also don’t necessarily blame women either since dating apps are specifically set up to prioritize people’s looks over all else.

I also question what is “the right one” women on dating apps are waiting to find. Is it realistic? With some I’m sure. But if 80% of men are ruled out as unattractive on dating apps, then probably not. Though I also acknowledge that the 80% statistic is probably a little high and that with some men it’s that they have an unattractive profile. Not that they’re unattractive as a person.

Basically I don’t agree that it’s all women’s fault that there’s dating struggles. But with the women who are struggling with dating and not being able to find “the right one,” I don’t believe those women are completely guilt free and that it’s simply an issue of “where are all the good men.” With the men and women who can find good partners, I don’t think it’s simply a matter of luck. They are probably doing something different that people who are struggling aren’t. If people who are struggling want to put all the blame on the other side, cool. Just don’t expect your situation to change.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-11-21T16:55:31+00:00

If it were so easy for women to find sexual partners and men for relationships then no single and undersexed men would be left. Of course, I will be countered with the 5% or whomever that gets to enjoy all the promiscuity and what not but that makes zero sense, since there are only so few of these guys that they can't possibly fuck and be in a relationship with all of these women.

WideAwake550 · 2022-11-21T17:18:08+00:00

I agree that "sleeping around" is exaggerated for both sides. I notice people conflate having pre-marital sex with "sleeping around" when its not the same thing.

All the sex I ever had was in relationships. I would talk and dance with random girls at parties but I wasn't fucking them.

However, denying that women have it easier when it comes to dating and dating apps is just plain wrong. Like it's so far removed from reality that it comes across as contrarian.

I will say that women lose their advantage over men when it comes to securing LTR's but definitely not dating. Women literally control the dating market and it's up to men to adjust themselves just to be considered dateable.

closerthanyouthinkk · 2022-11-21T16:57:56+00:00

Disagree completely. Every woman i know has literally thousands of likes and hundreds of matches on dating apps. Most of these guys are not disrespectful like people here always say for some reason? Most of them just start off with something that caught their attention about their profile.

Sure, she might get the generic “I’m free tonight wanna fuck” but that rarely happens and guys wouldn’t do it if it actually worked.

The problem a female friend of mine has is that they get overwhelmed by the amount of dick to choose from so they basically find something that’s wrong about every single one of these guys because she has the option to do so. I’m not gonna go out and say this to her, but that’s literally her own fault. Zero sympathy.

I’ve also seen a pattern that whenever a female friend of mine break up with their boyfriend they immediately get back into dating, usually with an FWB. It’s extremely easy for them to find another guy immediately.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-11-21T17:52:34+00:00

Doesn’t matter because even Plain Jane has had infinitely more options and experiences both sexually and romantically than Billy Beta and that experience gap can be dangerous for him because she could abuse him with it

And the sad truth is that Billy Beta has to compensate by having money and resources and stability (aka no options besides her which makes her feel safe since he can’t go anywhere else)

obviousredflag · 2022-11-21T16:00:46+00:00

There is plenty of science on the topic that determined number of sexual partners women have had at varios age brackets. This is often countered by "women are lying in questionnaires", yes, true and knowm by scientiests, but no to the degree that would completely change the results by a margin that the people you mentioned want to make us believe.

Also, what is "sleeping around", nobody is ever defining this in a way that people agree. Age plays a large role, especially the time from 18 to ~29, before and after that, very little change happens in total numer of sexual partners on average.

The median for lifetime sex partners in mid-twenties women in one of the most promiscuous western countries is 8, with quartile ranges from 3 to 15. So 25% of women in their mid twenties have had less than 4 sex partners, 50% have had less than 9, 75% have had less than 16.

In the US, only 5% of women that age had more than 16 partners.

What is "sleeping around"? One sex partner per year since the age of 18? Not in my book. Sleeping around would be 1-2 sex partners per month. You can easily see that these numbers would lead to 12-24/year, and 100-200 partners by their mid twenties. A number, basically no woman that isn't a prostitute will achieve.

It's this projection of male behavior that fuels to view of women. When i slept around in my thirties in between relationships, i had sex with 24 women a year, and i had to work hard for that. If i imagine to be a woman with my sex drive and lack of standards for sexpartners while gaining the unending interest of men in sex with me, i would have had 80-100 partners per year. These are the thoughts those men have. Women are not like that. Women asked what their ideal lifetime sex partner count would be answered with an average amount of 2, while men's average answer was 62.

The vast majority of women do NOT sleep around to the extent that men think, and the very very few women who are rather promiscuous have lifetime numbers that men do in a year. 2.5% of women in their mid twenties in the US have 20 or more sex partners. They don't have to concern themselves with those 2.5% if that's too much for them. At least half of the population falls into body counts that could not be realistically seens as sleeping around, and even every fourth woman is basically a nun, regarding sex partners.

CimZim · 2022-11-21T16:29:14+00:00

The national average partner count for the USA was 14

Also your argument is more about the difficulty of finding a good match on dating apps rather than how much women sleep around. In order to find a good man, a woman needs to try a number of them out right ?

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-11-21T16:52:34+00:00

Unless you're just as ugly, women have it easier on dating apps just because of the sheer amount of options, unless you're arguing it's like the Chili's menu in which case the options are so overwhelming, but even then that's not something that's going to garner any sympathylol as far as whether or not most women sleep around, depends on what the person is calling "sleeping around", but enough do that men, especially men that can't afford to be picky should go in assuming that her body count is going to be higher than she lets on or what he thinks , etc

hari_hbp · 2022-11-21T17:04:45+00:00

Oh come on already, let's move on to a world where men either come to terms with women sleeping around or remain a bachelor. This post ain't helping that.

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Title	most women don't sleep around AND also don't have it easy on dating apps
Author	closerthanyouthinkk
Upvotes	0
Comments	51
Date	November 21, 2022 3:05 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/z11791/most_women_dont_sleep_around_and_also_dont_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-women-dont-sleep-around-and-also-dont-have-it.1140724 https://theredarchive.com/post/1140724

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