Weight Loss

youllknowwhenitstime · 2022-12-09T16:37:14+00:00

Look, ignore all the "healthy eating" advice.

Losing weight is calories in/calories out.

Get MyFitnessPal (free app), set a goal.

If you use your 1700 calorie goal to eat 1700 calories of Oreos one day, so be it, as long as you stop at the goal. Restricting intake is hard enough without trying to ALSO fight a sugar addiction or such at the same time. Similarly, eating less is going to make a much faster difference than exercise - so using your day's willpower to eat less is more efficient than using up your day's willpower trying to get an exercise habit going. (All the research I've seen suggests "willpower" is basically a finite resource you have to manage day to day.)

Don't get me wrong; sustained health changes like activity level and food quality can also make a big health difference, but trying to beat yourself into doing three things at once is unlikely to work. The biggest reason people rebound and regain weight is because they DID manage to beat themselves into doing three things at once, so their strategy to maintain their lower weight requires them to keep up the three things at once, and that's too many pieces that can go wrong. If you change nothing about your habits except the amount of food you're putting in, you'll find the weight loss easier and more sustainable. You can evaluate other lifestyle changes after that if you want.

Flat_Shower · 2022-12-09T14:44:02+00:00

What would you seek counseling for? Maybe I’m missing your question. You’re 50-70 pounds overweight. Your husband wants you to be more healthy. You want to be more healthy. You’re frustrated with your husband. You aren’t motivated enough to lose the weight. You’re in a cycle, where your husband encourages you to lose weight, and you don’t lose weight. I don’t think you need counseling, I think you need a nutritionist? Why are you making your husband manage your weight for you?

sunglasses90 · 2022-12-09T15:56:31+00:00

You’re both right/wrong. If you do seriously want something you’ll put time and effort into it. With that said, there’s definitely people out there with more determination than others. Counseling probably won’t help your determination. I know some people with zero ability to use delayed gratification in their lives and while those people give into every whim and have lots of nice stuff they are usually miserable.

As for losing weight/being healthy I’d say 33% is food and 33% is exercise and 33% is genetics. You don’t have to go crazy on food/exercise , but you need to make specific changes to both.

My suggestions based on what I do: 1. No soda/high fructose corn syrup. Definitely no diet soda. I definitely love soda, so I will have one every once in a while and I do get occasional cravings for it every few months. Sometimes I give in a get a coke/Pepsi (probably 10 soft drinks per year).

No junk food. I do not buy Doritos/prepackaged cookies or anything of that nature. Our snacks are tortilla chips and salsa or guacamole and/or cheese and tortilla chips. I will make cakes or cookies every few weeks, but not prepackaged.
No fast food. We eat fast food maybe once per year. Last time I remember eating fast food was over a year ago.
Almost no restaurants. I don’t care what you order at a restaurant these days it’s extremely expensive and extremely high in calories compared to home cooking. Just cook the meal you want at home. We eat out once every 1-2 months.
Cook at home and use real ingredients. You can save money and calories by making your own sauces and ingredients. Ranch? Love it. Very easy to make homemade. Rachel ray has a good recipe for it. Enchilada sauce? Easy. Taco seasoning: everything is in your spice cabinet you don’t have to buy the packet with high fructose corn syrup added. I can make very high restaurant quality meals for us but for 25% of the calories. I don’t cook “healthy” meals per say but I use “healthy” ingredients which to me is great. Great tasty comfort food, but you know everything that’s in it.

As far as exercising there’s enough data to show that walking is the absolute best exercise option for healthy living. The good news is that everyone can easily do it for free. It’s hard to do in the winter though. I HATE the cold. During that I rely on a weekend dance/cardio class. I hate the gym. It’s boring but things like dance/Zumba are fun and taking a walk everyday during the summer I downloaded Libby and got a library card. Thousands of audiobooks to make it more fun.

That’s what works for me and my fiancé. You have to find what works for you and fits your lifestyle. Give yourself grace. It’s all about moderation more than anything and getting into good daily habits. Have realistic expectations. I’d love to eliminate 100% of corn syrup, but I know I’m going to have a soda every once in a while or whatever. It’s not a huge deal. If you can cut it out of daily life and only have it occasionally that’s a huge deal and that’s what matters.

For example, bacon egg and cheese sandwich fast food takeout every morning: BAD. Eating bacon egg and cheese prepared at home a few times a month on rotation PERFECTLY fine. It’s not really the bacon that is bad it’s the frequency and other additives that are bad.

I hope that helps. I don’t think you need therapy. I think you just need help/direction on what you could do and then you need to sit down and WRITE down what you’re going to try differently and then DO IT. If you don’t like it or don’t think it’s helping then it’s fine to try something else. It’s a process. None of this stuff happens overnight.

marigold_soul · 2022-12-09T15:32:40+00:00

I would recommend the FitOn app! It's free to use, although they do have a premium version that allows casting to other devices as well as custom meal plans. I have really enjoyed using it. There's lots of different types of workouts, with plenty of options for beginners and even the more challenging workouts have modification options. You can pick different programs and follow different instructors, you can set weekly workout goals, and it sends reminder notifications when your scheduled workout is coming up. It can really help you build the exercise habit, which is honestly the hardest part of working out! I started working out on my own using free workout plans off Pinterest and other websites, but I have definitely found using this app in particular to be pretty fun! There's also a lot of free workouts available on YouTube. You can always just start with stretching, just something easy that gets you moving! I hope this is helpful! 🙂

ygfam · 2022-12-09T17:21:11+00:00

Honestly it's rather simple but really hard to do. There isn't a magic trick to it, just count calories (use an app of choice, and i recommend getting a scale because i doubt someone new to this could eyeball it, when i first started counting i grossly underestimated how much i was eating bc i wasn't weighing it), go to the gym (investing in a gym trainer if possible because it gives better results than following a youtube video). Try not to binge. All from persoonal experice

onepixelcat · 2022-12-10T19:26:35+00:00

I disagree with CI/CO and here's a post with info: How not to be fat

Neither-Suggestion78 · 2022-12-09T16:39:55+00:00

Let me say that I am here to offer that I eat plant based - I use everything from Orgain Plant based protein powder to make smoothies with fruit, kale and spinach. I also eat certain protein bars and plain baked potatoes or sweet potatoes if lacking fiber - you can’t drink all your meals. I am 6 ft tall a size 4 in my pants but have a 32DDD bust. I have been taking vitamins supplements and nutrients since college. I feel great, I look great - according to everyone else - we all have body issues in our minds. I do exercise every day and when my son was small, I learned to rollerblade so I could with him and his friends, I learned to use a weight room while putting him in childcare at the gym.

I suggest you sit down and decide for yourself what you can do - there are apps to let you literally work out at home while lying down until you build your strength. You, and only you can make these changes. Check you thyroid and other blood work and make sure it is nothing physical. I eat no sugar except what is on fruit and drink nothing but water and smoothies.

I wish you the best but it is truly in your hands and I hope your relationship with your husband is strong enough for transparency and support.

princess_mothra · 2022-12-09T17:45:45+00:00

I would recommend a nutritionist if you are struggling to lose weight on your own. Weight loss is dependent on what you eat, not really on how much you exercise. Even though exercise definitely is excellent for you and can aid in a calorie deficit and tone up your body, ultimately it is how many calories you are consuming in a day.

orangeliquor · 2022-12-09T18:41:52+00:00

No one understands unless they go thru it. I was 50 lbs heavier a few years ago and I would obsess about my weight. I wanted to lose weight more than I wanted anything else. I was so frustrated with my inability to stick to any diet I eventually turned to a weight loss clinic and they prescribed me phentermine. Essentially a stimulant. Helped me lose 30 lbs and I lost the last twenty over a couple years thru iifym. If you are desperate I would try pills. They have new ones out that are for diabetes but I think they prescribe for weight loss. Some people may not agree with this and no it will not fix behaviors associated with unhealthy eating but for me it helped me jump start everything. Good luck I feel you pain

AutoModerator · 2022-12-09T12:39:56+00:00

Title: Weight Loss

Full text: I am posting here because I know I’ll get more honest feedback rather than, “just love your body” and “how dare your husband ask that of you”.

I need to lose weight. And a considerable amount - at least 50 lbs (I could lose up to 70 pounds for my height). Logically I understand this. My husband is looking at me upset about my health and how aging will be for me (risks of diabetes, joint issues, etc).

Why can I just do it then? I am so incredibly frustrated. When I bring it up to my husband he says, “you really just don’t want to.” His reasoning is that if there is ever something I really want - I make it happen no matter what. And so then , since I’m not making this happen, I must not really want to.

If this is something to seek counseling for - I’m just not even really sure where to start. Any thoughts or advice is appreciated:)

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ThrowawayDB_71 · 2022-12-09T19:20:46+00:00

I don't know you, your husband does. However I can say that you can do anything you put your mind to. See a doctor to make sure your wight is not related to a disease, otherwise you should be able to lose it... if you really want to.

frozen_sahir · 2022-12-09T21:11:15+00:00

DNP ftw/s

Constant-Feature-328 · 2022-12-10T01:50:48+00:00

Eat less, move more. Walk 150 mins on a treadmill every week on incline. Eat more fruits and vegetables. Good luck!

CountTheBees · 2022-12-10T01:55:10+00:00

Have you heard of the ACE study? I really recommend reading through that link, even if the cases in it are very extreme, because it could help you realise why subconsciously, you might not really want to lose weight, and that's why you can't. Is there anything that your weight helps you to do? Eg, some women like feeling invisible and so they gain weight so they can avoid unwanted attention. Some people use eating as a coping mechanism for underlying stress, anxiety, depressions, etc., as well and that's why they keep the weight on, because it actually helps them.

Notice how you feel when you're eating, what triggers you eating, and importantly - how you feel when you're losing weight. Does it make you happy? or sad? It might surprise you if you notice that you feel worse when you're successfully losing weight, but that's a good start, because it can help you understand yourself.

All these little things can help you if you're thinking about counselling. All the best.

Mission_Honeydew_597 · 2022-12-10T18:22:28+00:00

Hey love, when it comes to weight is there anything you struggle with? (I.e Unhealthy eating, lodging, etc.)

It’s great it was brought to you on a health angle. Of course, you can start losing the weight but if anything is effecting your mental seek counseling. You can do both.

It’s easy to lose the bigger weight actually just by staying active and mindful of what you eat. You can consider going vegan for a short amount of time, keep fruit around, also try adding in body contouring. Body contouring comes with packages you can pay for. Just look up “smart lipo” “cool sculpting” “laser lipo” on groupon in your area.

Ok_Cardiologist_917 · 2022-12-11T16:02:10+00:00

On top of the calorie intake, cleaning your liver and bile pathways with supplements such as TUDCA (very important), sunflower lecithin, and l malic acid in water will be huge. Not only will it help you lose weight, it will also control glucose tolerance and get you out of that "failure to thrive/take action" stuck feeling you are describing. Good luck and please research these supplements concerning weight loss, there is tons of info out there.

monocerosik · 2022-12-12T18:10:00+00:00

How are your stress levels and your awareness of what is happening with you when you are hungry and when you eat?

Why do I ask - in the process of therapy I realized I rarely am mentally present when I eat, even if I don't watching or read, I check out from reality and don't listen to my body signals ("you are almost full", "you are eating too fast, it's unpleasant"). Being more aware of what is happening while I am eating made me eat less. I also realized that my stress levels had a direct influence on my food choices. Being tired, stressed or angry made it easy to eat the first thing there was, and only after I ate and it calmed me down, I realised I didn't eat anything healthy all day. Managing my stress made me eat less. I also realised that my mother had a very chaotic way of preparing food, she was like crazy, and often made me help her but then got angry I didn't do things exactly the way she wanted. I usually wanted to get over cooking and eating as fast as possible. Therapy made me aware I still do that. The acceptance for myself I gained in therapy immensely affected my calm, it helps in being mindful, aware and thus eat appropriately.

borattt99 · 2022-12-12T21:28:04+00:00

The easiest way is the calories in/out strategy, it's simple and effective, but it ignores some principles of diet, such as nutrition and well being. E.g. if you eat lots of low nutrition foods like bread (especially the low quality bread), you can end up putting your body in a bad place where it got enough calories, but needs nutrition, which it then will signal you to eat more. Or another example is a bad diet may lower your overall willpower, making it harder to resist sweets and processed foods etc...

I'm not sure you're looking for just losing weight, because just losing weight can have some benefits, but it won't fix others, like what you mentioned about diabetes, heart issues, etc... those things require the body to be at good health to fix them and maintain them properly.

It's a fairly complicated subject that I've spent years learning about, but the basic breakdown of it is that carbs are bad and you should avoid them, all carbs. Meat, especially organs are the best in terms of nutrition and food satisfaction, generally not having them super well cooked, but somewhat raw, or if you will, medium rare is best. The reason being that cooking them can destroy some vitamins/nutrition that they have, e.g. vitamin C.

It's a complicated subject, but the above should get you started. To give you a better idea, the way I space out my diet is on workdays I eat a type of keto-carnivore diet, and I only eat it once a day (intermittent fasting). On the weekends I break it by eating whatever and whenever.

Some of the recipes I make is an american style omelette, with a nice blend of french cheeses wrapped inside, along with some sources to "lighten" things up and give it some more spice.

Another good I do is I buy a cumembert cheese, bake it in the oven along with grounded beef meatballs (full fat) for about an hour. Afterwards, the cheese becomes melted inside, so remove the skin and I mix in different types of sources into it, and then dip the meatballs inside it and eat it like that.

spq_romanus · 2023-04-19T12:28:49+00:00

There is only one way to lose weight. You must ingest less calories than you burn.

Use a calorie counting app to limit what you ingest, do cardio training to increase what you burn. There's no other way.

Title	Weight Loss
Author	anothergoodbook
Upvotes	13
Comments	29
Date	December 9, 2022 12:39 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/zgwaqs/weight_loss/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/weight-loss.1142332 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142332

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