The current one I see trending on Reddit is the Leo/Eden one. He is 48 and she is 19. It got me thinking, a lot of Redditors and people in general are infantalising women and going to extremes to say that a 19 year old is a child and cannot think/consent for themselves.

Someone above the age of 18 has many responsibilities in society. For example, a 19 year old woman (or man) in my country can:

  • legally drive a car
  • legally drink alcohol and attend bars/clubs
  • legally smoke cigarettes
  • legally create and distribute pornography such as OnlyFans
  • pay taxes

If someone is capable of doing all of this stuff and consenting to it, why are they infantilised to the point where if they are dating someone far older than them they are described as:

"They are just a child"

"They are being groomed and cannot think for themselves"

"You are taking advantage of them because their brains haven't developed!"

Would you really want these "children" to be able to drive a 2 tonne death machine? If they're just kids, why has the government said 18 is the age to legally create and distribute porn?

I have even seen people saying that an 18 year old who commits a crime like murder is "Too young to understand the consequences" or that "they are just a child".

Personally, I wouldn't date a 19 year old even if they were mature because I want someone who is on same level as me in real life (post graduate in full time work). But what I am getting here is that society wants me to view women as helpless children, even if they are at a legal and consenting age. I have no issue with Leo wanting to date or have sex with Eden. If she's of legal age it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

And it's not just this particular example. I have seen many on Reddit where an older man is dating a woman (say 21 and 40) and he is called a pedo/predator regardless.

I understand power dynamics in relationships but someone isn't a pedo if they want to date someone who is of legal age, no matter how much Redditors want it to be. And where does it end? Is a 50 year old man wanting to date a 25 year old woman a pedo too? Why is 19 too young to date? Where is the start line? As soon as they turn 20? 21?

To me, it's rooted in misogyny. People view women as helpless and children that need saving. Even if they are taking a conscious decision, weighing their choices and acting upon them. Eden isn't some helpless damsel in distress. She is making a conscious decision to date an older man.