Sexist misandrist asks how to deal with the “that’s sexist” argument.

Dunkolunko · 2020-02-21T20:39:35+00:00

Some of the commentors half get it, like acknowledging that sexism only applying when it's against a less priveleged class being a definition simply made up by feminists. They're so close.

Medium-Ferret · 2020-02-21T21:40:26+00:00

In my opinion it's an ok thread. The Op seems to recognise their friend has a point and takes him seriously (even defending him from other commenters who arent as understanding).

I also saw decent support for the idea that Op was wrong to generalise men for one persons actions (although sadly some weren't to reasonable).

Finally reading Op's comments she seems genuinely open minded and unwilling to mischaracterise her friend even if it makes her look better. So I dont feel right being too harsh on her overall even if she was in the wrong originally.

Strikester101 · 2020-02-21T19:38:08+00:00

Has he/she tried accepting that it's sexist?

genkernels · 2020-02-22T00:49:51+00:00

Wow, this is gold. QFTing the thing before it gets deleted:

So I was in a conversation about a friend who had someone grab her butt at a bar. I said “men need to learn boundaries.”

Another (white cis male) friend said “that’s a bigoted thing to say” I said, “It isn’t sexist, it is an undeniable well-studied fact that the majority of sexual harassment is done by men. It isn’t bigoted, it’s the truth.” He replied “rephrase it to say black people instead of men, and see how that sounds”. I said “well, I don’t know if more black people commit sexual harassment than other races, so it WOULD be bigoted if I said it about POC” He followed up with “Let’s rephrase it about something that statistically, we know for sure is perpetrated disproportionately by black people. Let’s use crime for example, would the sentence sound bigoted then?” I said “it’s not the same thing-POC are not a privileged group” you can’t be sexist towards men, they are the most privileged group of people. It isn’t the same as singling out a disadvantaged group” he replied “you can totally be bigoted towards a group of people with privilege, look at anti-Semitism in the USA, that is aimed at a very privileged group of people, but I think we can all agree it is wrong. In fact, their privilege was what had people feeling so justified in their hatred of them in pre-WWII Europe. The same thing is happening with Chinese-American immigrants today. Their “privilege” does not justify bigotry towards them. Bigotry is always wrong”

I didn’t know what argument to make after that. How do I make the argument that feminism isn’t bigotry? I feel it is true, but I don’t know how to counter his last point. How can I counter-argue points like this?

Basically it's self-aware enough to get that far, not self aware enough to get further (yet!).

EDIT: it does get somewhat further. Due to a back and forth with a certain ExcellentTraffic the OP says:

The more I think about it and discuss it through on this thread, the more I think privilege is a bit of a problematic concept...So the whole concept of privilege kind of doesn’t make sense to me. It’s so subjective.

romulusnr · 2020-02-22T01:48:15+00:00

Man, the comment thread from ro8e is a blast. First comment is

These guys were just assholes and used feminist lingo to provoke and undermine what had happened to your friend

Then when OP clarifies, they're all

After reading it, I ... am on the guy's side of the argument regarding privilege and intersectionality

They started automatically from an assumption that the man MUST be defending toxicity (because that's what MEN DO). And only until they had to be told by a woman that the man wasn't defending did they go "oh, well that's okay then." Even though, regardless, it should have had ZERO bearing on the man's argument that ultimately they agreed with.

What? Just... what? Why is this considered reasonable?

ClementineCarson · 2020-02-22T01:02:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Melthengylf · 2020-02-22T02:15:33+00:00

it isn’t quite the same because your statement about black people assumes that the locus of control is out of the hands of the black people. “Men need to learn...” as in it is men who need to do something about it

Aaaaaallmost self-aware wolves

2020-02-22T14:37:43+00:00

I must say, I'm glad and impressed that the feminists on that sub, for the most part; tore into her and down-voted her topic into oblivion.

heimdahl81 · 2020-02-22T02:06:53+00:00

I really wish they would crosspost this to /r/amitheasshole

romulusnr · 2020-02-22T01:43:36+00:00

Ya know, it is totally fuckin possible to be a feminist and not be prejudiced against men. It was done for decades until the 2000s came along. Somehow suddenly it became imfuckingpossible.

Second wavers and even most third wavers don't hate men the way fourth wavers do. They hate certain men but they don't stereotype the entire fucking gender.

Edit : Valid points of some of the professional philosophers of second wave. The women themselves that took advantage of the gains of the second wave though not so much. I'm thinking of people like Joan Jett who is generally considered an icon of the second wave era.

SonnBaz · 2020-02-23T19:06:28+00:00

Never change r/askfeminists

Ciceros_Assassin · 2020-02-23T03:55:35+00:00

Feeling very left-wing in here as always, keep it up fellas lmao.

Sexist misandrist asks how to deal with the “that’s sexist” argument.

Crosspost "How to deal with the “that’s sexist” argument?" from /r/AskFeminists:

Comments

Title	Sexist misandrist asks how to deal with the “that’s sexist” argument.
Author	czerdec
Upvotes	56
Comments	94
Date	February 21, 2020 7:10 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/f7fygp/sexist_misandrist_asks_how_to_deal_with_the_thats/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/sexist-misandrist-asks-how-to-deal-with-the-thats.1200439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1200439