How a girl used me to get ahead in Chemistry.

63daddy · 2023-05-05T17:02:58+00:00

While pairing can be beneficial, there’s a problem with rewarding each party equally assuming they both contributed equally. Often they didn’t.

It’s one of the issues we see with marriage and divorce. Let’s say a male doctor with a PhD marries a nurse with a 5 year degree and she opts out of the work force to be a housewife. She files for divorce and gets 50%. One can certainly argue she gave up earning potential and career advancement to be a housewife and that should be rightly be recognized, but what she gave up wasn’t anywhere near equal to his income and the value of her domestic labor was also notably less. Just like your example of a grade reflecting the average of two different caliber students, she’s getting half based on her association with a person having higher income, not based on the value of her individual merit.

It’s the same with dating: a guy who wants a woman who’s roughly his equal is criticized as being selfish while a woman who wants to date up isn’t so criticized. A woman who doesn’t work “works at home” while a man who does the same is a deadbeat.

It all comes down to the simple fact that men are expected to be providers and protectors of women. It’s a double standard benefiting women and disadvantaging men overall.

KrazyJazz · 2023-05-05T16:48:31+00:00

So she was using me in the same way a parasite uses a host.

Rest assured it will be pretty much the same thing for your entire professionnal life to come. Men are perceived and used as plowhorse 95% of the time. I remember a video, a few years back, of a female truck driver openly making fun, all giddy and unshameful, of the men willing to help her in her tasks. I'll look around and post the link later if I'm able to find it.

jokerfriend6 · 2023-05-05T16:00:53+00:00

My sons learned this in college. College used team environments to get the students to do work together. My son learned early on who the other smart kids were and they would form a group. Many times the teachers would split them up, because they were using the smart kids to help teach the not so smart. There was not as much of the parasite problem among women in engineering.

ExMuzzy · 2023-05-05T16:55:47+00:00

I have a bachelors in Chemistry and now thinking back on it, they paired every guy up with a girl for practical chemistry. It’s not a dig, a lot of the girls in that class new what they were doing. However, there were a few that didn’t really seem interested in Chemistry and just relied on copying others.

AdIllustrious6191 · 2023-05-05T16:43:25+00:00

Should have told her - "No, I don't want to pair with you." You probably let your hormones get the better of you (which I understand). If it's a 1 on 1 thing, stick with another guy. You don't want to be alone with a female and be accused of something.

Your_Agenda_Sucks · 2023-05-05T18:21:21+00:00

So she was using me in the same way a parasite uses a host. It is fun to
note that in such situations women have no problem with mansplaining.

The parasite and host analogy is so useful. It applies in many areas.

pilotlet · 2023-05-05T16:00:31+00:00

I remember this as a constant in high school and college. When it is detected that someone has exploitable qualities, it will therefore be sought to approach that person to extract such benefit. From notes, homework, various exercises...; in my experience this is something done by both men and women. In heterosexual men, it is clear that there are some women who use their attractiveness in order to make a profit.

But this is like everything, you have to learn that basically, everything that is not a genuine intention is an interested intention (wanting to study with someone vs. benefit from someone else's work).

The parasitic attitude is confronted proportionally to the common interactions we have had with other people. If they seek to use you for personal gain, at least make sure that you earn something in return or directly do not let them take advantage of the fruit of your labor.

jjj2576 · 2023-05-05T16:21:26+00:00

I have a broad definition of “shitting where you eat,” and I consider where I study to also be a place I eat. But that’s just me— I always encourage Masculine Autonomy, and you have to decide what YOU want for yourself.

Take this mishap as a lesson— you need to vet people better. You should have picked a helpful lab partner, instead of this Lass.

It’s naturally for folks to want a smart lab partner— you should have done the same.

Lord_Gaiseric · 2023-05-05T19:47:00+00:00

I've had this happen with men and women to be fair, I had a girl in high-school try to pay me to write her English final paper, I had a group of guys dump a bio presentation on me in college, dumb shitty people are gonna be dumb shitty people.

OldTrapper87 · 2023-05-05T21:38:59+00:00

This is something all shit humans do to each other to get ahead. Gender doesn't matter here

KelVarnsenIII · 2023-05-05T18:23:06+00:00

You should Mansplain her into an F.

DemonKai7 · 2023-05-05T19:16:46+00:00

Sorry she used you. Pick a better lab partner next time.

JustTwo5936 · 2023-05-05T19:48:15+00:00

I hope you were getting a little something in return

flossraptor · 2023-05-05T20:06:43+00:00

One time I dated this girl in a programming class. I did all her work. Big deal, it took me five minutes. She couldn't do any of it. Men are smarter than women.

lasershot0791 · 2023-05-05T21:56:16+00:00

Let me guess, that person was premed?

Man premeds in undergrad create one of the most toxic environments

9pmt1ll1come · 2023-05-05T22:02:25+00:00

Now we know why Bella paired with Edward! On a more serious note, that’s some BS OP. Hope you’re still not paired with her.

TwinkForAHairyBear · 2023-05-05T22:51:14+00:00

You're looking at this from the wrong angle. She was a parasite only because you allowed her to be. She wanted to make a deal: you do the school work, and in exchange she does... something. Except, instead of asking her for something, you set the price of your work to zero.

Title	How a girl used me to get ahead in Chemistry.
Author	zogins
Upvotes	131
Comments	23
Date	May 5, 2023 3:53 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/138sukq/how_a_girl_used_me_to_get_ahead_in_chemistry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-a-girl-used-me-to-get-ahead-in-chemistry.1218076 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218076

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