31M, filed for mutual divorce. We knew eachother for 10 years before marriage but shockingly marriage turned out to be a disaster. Now I'm fighting loneliness and this seems to be a tough fight. Help me with what should I do?

Organic-Ad-2987 · 2023-06-06T19:55:13+00:00

Sorry for your experience. 34m here and 5 months into mine. I find the same thing. At first I was having a few drinks at night but that just left me feeling worse. I try to just read or watch tv now or work on little projects. It still hurts a lot but at least I’m not doing bad things to my body and mind.

Plenty-Entertainer71 · 2023-06-06T20:33:30+00:00

Work out til u exhausted yourself you won’t have time to think about the memories, go for walks, go for drives

kdthex01 · 2023-06-06T22:30:42+00:00

I’m obviously not a therapist and don’t know your situation but you may want to explore why being alone is hard for you.

Being comfortable alone is like a super power. Even the most extroverted artists perfect their craft in isolation. Maybe it will add some healthy balance?

No_Application_2807 · 2023-06-07T02:55:19+00:00

My nights are full of thoughts and then when I wake up. It hits me.

It’s a fucking struggle. I don’t think anyone understands how hard it is until they go through it. One of things that helps me is to vent the truth to my friends/family, some times I cry. I at least get the feeling off my chest. I try to stay busy with plans with friends and family. But yes, I know what you mean. It fucking sucks.

There’s a lot of guys in this group that offer good advice.

Im here if you need to vent.

Hereforthatandthis · 2023-06-07T01:07:50+00:00

Being used to someone around =/= that you love that person, that you miss them, that you wish you were back together.

That’ll take a while sink in.

You’ll be ok bud.

Hang in there. Feel your feelings. Again: feel your feelings. It’ll be ebbs and flows. Good days and then bad days AND THEN good days again, etc.

You will be ok♥️

Lugubrious_Lothario · 2023-06-06T23:57:36+00:00

I'm struggling with this too right now. I've been lurking on r/overmployed for a couple years now and at this point I'm thinking about becoming a real member. I made a career change about a year after our separation that I hope will enable me to keep up with this new lifestyle, but right now since I'm just entering the field and the economy is fucked I'm barely scraping by... I figure the best thing I can do for myself is engage with my natural tendency to hide from the pain of isolation in work. Except this time rather than sacrificing my health to a company or person who doesn't give a shit about me I'm going to focus on bettering my own situation and not let myself get tied down.

david10277 · 2023-06-06T23:34:15+00:00

Hit the Gym...its the magic sauce

DocHolliday80 · 2023-06-06T22:29:58+00:00

Gym, no contact, therapy if needed

captainchippsixx · 2023-06-06T22:25:51+00:00

Are you in your own place?

No_Application_2807 · 2023-06-07T02:48:15+00:00

Hey. I’m in the same situation. Sorry to hear this. I’m starting therapy soon too help.

clinicalbrain · 2023-06-07T03:56:31+00:00

Read books on the power of silence and solitude. Solitude or choosing to be alone can teach us things about ourselves we didn’t know. The love you seek may have to start with you doing more inward work.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-06-07T10:38:18+00:00

It is yes and not sure it gets better but at least you don’t have a DoDo 🦤 hanging round your neck - exercise, read, one day maybe get a Cat 🐱/ Dog 🐶.

Meanwhile work/ exercise read / hobby (whatever amuses games cook model making masturbate .. long as it amuses and is in moderation )

MediumValuable2017 · 2023-06-07T17:16:37+00:00

Similar circumstances for me. The inevitable loneliness that would come if I move forward with filling is probably the single thing keeping me in this marriage that I know doesn't work. This fucking sucks

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