Pros and cons of filing first?

AirSailer · 2023-06-07T22:03:16+00:00

I suggest you don't get a job until after the divorce. If you do then you are basically setting the income bar for the judge. Watch out, she will try to drag it out until you get a job.

Also, you 100% should file first. There's no reason to let her take the initiative. Step up and do what needs to be done. Fuck her and her family, you need to look out for yourself.

67Luck · 2023-06-08T01:11:53+00:00

You file first , so that you can confidentially tell your family, future romantic interests and most importantly your daughter, that it was you who made the decision and initiated action to remove yourself from this bullshit forever.

Many years later, when people ask- and believe me they will- it will still feel good to be able to state that.

captainchippsixx · 2023-06-07T21:40:31+00:00

You should probably take it up a notch and talk to the assistant district attorney. Did you get the evidence taken by the police. You can file charges against her.

cousinmarygross · 2023-06-07T22:58:34+00:00

First of all, she's not getting full custody. If you were smoking crack with your daughter they'd still not terminate your parental rights. What state are you in?

At this point you have just as much right to your child as she does, so I'm in the go get her and file for divorce and custody camp.

Dadsurvivor317 · 2023-06-08T02:50:56+00:00

These stories are so freaking common it’s scary. Same boat as you OP. My 4 year was kept from me. False accusation. The whole ordeal. Legal system just don’t care about men. We’re just one more modern day slave that will pay into the legal system.

Noodletrousers · 2023-06-07T22:15:49+00:00

I filed first because if you’re still married then she can keep your daughter from you indefinitely. The only way outside of her allowing contact is through a court order unfortunately.

I’m in the same boat. She’s got daddy’s money and he previously threatened my life, but somehow she was still able to get a year long order of protection against me.

It could be a long slog for you, but unless you get the feeling that she’ll let you see your child on her own accord, that’s your only option right now.

storm838 · 2023-06-07T22:17:55+00:00

It’s better to be a plaintiff then trying to defend.

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2023-06-08T01:01:28+00:00

File first and get it set for trial asap.

Hack3rDr3w · 2023-06-08T02:04:29+00:00

Always better to be the plaintiff vs the defendant. Always file first.

silmarp · 2023-06-08T13:24:40+00:00

Look. She is rich.

And she is violent towards you.

That means she also has the best lawyers.

And the best lawyers will destroy you in court using a narrative that implies you are abusive and the scum of the Earth.

If you file you will have the chance to speak first in court. That's called anchoring. You will tell everything and this is your chance to escape with only a bit of damage to yourself. Otherwise you will suffer a lot.

They will use all their power to destroy you and they have the 'she is a woman' and the money cards, the only card you have is about outsmarting them.

Title	Pros and cons of filing first?
Author	Pharmanomic
Upvotes	9
Comments	18
Date	June 7, 2023 9:32 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/143ppak/pros_and_cons_of_filing_first/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/pros-and-cons-of-filing-first.1221584 https://theredarchive.com/post/1221584

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