Child support anxiety…

chango01232020 · 2023-06-15T22:31:04+00:00

I can sympathize with you on this. The stress from knowing Ive got to keep up payments for another ten years can get to me. For now, I just constantly remind myself its not forever and I know my kids are happy and healthy. Am looking forward to when Im done though.

yes2matt · 2023-06-16T01:44:28+00:00

Hey man, it's just like a mortgage. Best practice is to have several months of bills in the bank. Child support is one of the bills. So stack cash til you have ___ months padding (my preferred number is six) in a savings account. Then its just back to normal, month by month. Whatever happens happens.

If you lose a job, make a phone call. "I lost my job" .. at least my agreement has renegotiation stipulation if my income falls below a certain amount. Meanwhile you can still hold up your end of the deal for up to ___ months while you get your situation straight.

chicken_po_boy · 2023-06-16T00:29:01+00:00

I hear ya man. I’m 52 and have 36 more months of C/S left. It’s tough, but it won’t be forever. I understand the pressure you feel to stay employed because I feel it too. Although I would probably feel MORE much pressure to keep my job if I was still married, to support the kids as well as my EX’s spending habits. No question my retirement got pushed back a few years bc of the divorce. But it was worth the sacrifice, I’m much happier now. Not looking forward to having an empty nest in a few years but will sure as hell happy to be done with the CS so I can save up more for a house again.

FUMoney · 2023-06-16T22:54:04+00:00

Marriage with children, for men, in today's western "democracies," is a loser's game. The burden, the expense, the disaster that divorce visits upon you is to be avoided at all costs. Only one way to win: don't play. No kids, ever, and likely no marriage, ever, unless you find that one in a billion partner who is loyal, trustworthy, and has your back.

Spend just one day in family court (it's open to the public anywhere in the United States). It will teach you lessons you'll never, ever forget. Good luck and best wishes to all responsible fathers, because there are many who abscond.

Lugubrious_Lothario · 2023-06-15T22:37:53+00:00

I'm uh, at the beginning of my child support journey. Realizing it's going to make it a lot harder to achieve any of my financial goals for the next two decades. Home ownership is probably no longer in the cards for me. I've never even held my baby girl and the pain of that has pretty much defined my whole perception of what the experience of fatherhood is.

I'm hiring a lawyer to fight that fight for me, I'm working on myself and trying to be as happy as I can with what is still allowed to me in my life as it has come to be. There are a lot of... limitations that I didn't see coming, but I've also deepened certain friendships (while others that were there before the marriage and I expected to last my whole life went away with the separation) and learned a lot about what makes me unhappy, so I can avoid those things more easily now.

I'm doing 10 times better than I was a year ago and I'm fully a hairs breadth from total collapse at any moment. So yeah. I feel this.

pk2at · 2023-06-15T23:36:01+00:00

For a few years try not paying CS and see how it goes. You are 57, so nothing to lose, just quit your job and say you have no money

captainchippsixx · 2023-06-16T03:26:44+00:00

I’m in the same exact boat. I keep trying to make more money, which I have been successful but it small wins. Medical expenses keep going up. Good and gas too.

Title	Child support anxiety…
Author	mofofromthenosho
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	June 15, 2023 10:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14aeyme/child_support_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/child-support-anxiety.1222458 https://theredarchive.com/post/1222458

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