How do I stop feeling so hopeless?

RedPillDetox · 2023-06-26T17:34:18+00:00

If you believe you'll never suceed, then you never will

If you believe you will, then there's a chance you will

There's really no option that to just outright reject black pill.

Even if black pill was true, you'd just have to shoot your shot and grind to succeed, really a "succeed or die trying" type of logic. Staying in black pill wil bring you nothing but doom and perpectual depression. I have absolutely no idea why anyone would willingly be a black piller and abide to the shit they believe instead of just trying everything they can to better their situation.

eatfleshdrinkblood · 2023-06-26T20:33:21+00:00

Reading this made me feel genuinely sad for you, here’s what I think you should do go to therapy preferably a male therapist although it doesn’t have to be. Go to college like you said and get a job, and forget all this horrible red pill/ black pill shit. You are extremely young and it will be easier for you do too than me. What’s pill is bothering you more red pill or black pill? Because if it’s black pill that one is pretty easy to disprove.

emfanthrowaway12 · 2023-06-26T20:37:37+00:00

Have you thought about what strengths you actually have? As much as I dislike the redpill way of thinking that "you must grind get rich then you'll get pussy and live the life" I do actually think finding some purpose for yourself is a good way to start. If you trully think about it, unless you're religious, there isnt some large divine purpose to our existence, thats a strength as your purpose can be whatever you want. Think of it a positive nihilism and embracing the absurd of life, you were brought to this perfect planet, you're an intelligent creature, even if you think achieving something in life and finding love and a positive circle of friends is something that has very low odds of happening, think about the fact that in the cold and heartless vast universe emerging from god knows what, the odds of you ever existing were lower than you can imagine, and yet youre here, with the ability to become anyone if only you put your mind to it. Wanna be an artist? Musician? Athlete? Build a fanbase? Create content? Paint? Even if you dont wanna do it for a living, why not tap into that and discover what brings you passion and fulfillment? Instead of sitting on the internet spending your time reading pills bs? You're gonna die one day any way, so why waste your precious time? Learn how to love yourself, learn how to get fulfillment out of your existence, human life isnt easy, but in all of the struggles of it, there is something beutiful in return, that you havent discovered yet or perhaps choose to ignore. You go to college, you gotta study hard, but you can meet wonderful people. You work to earn money, but if you earn enough you can spend it on something to make your life better. You escape your comfort zone to meet people risking rejection, in return you will meet someone genuine eventually, and can have a friend for life, and who knows, maybe even a lover. Remember my friend, "life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced". Time is on your side. Realize most problems are insignificant, and theres so many things that could make you fulfilled, I wish you the best of luck.

No_Valuable_587 · 2023-06-27T08:51:37+00:00

I remember feeling like this at 20 - even as a woman I was terrified to talk to men and thus couldn't form any relationships of value. Two years after, I found my first real boyfriend, and I married him at 24. 10 years later, I divorced him, because he wouldn't find work, and because he was completely the wrong man for me after I had changed and grown so much, and he stayed home and played computer games.

There is something the red pill gets right, that your 20s are your time to find yourself and work on yourself. I am now having to play catch up, to learn who I am as an adult, without a man in my life, how to not NEED one, but want one.

I have realized over time that my need for men, is primarily about them 'validating' me as a dateable, marriagable, "good" woman, and I think a lot of men also want validation from women - that they are sexually desirable and dateable and .... You either get to learn now, or you get to learn that later, that that validation cannot come from another person, unless you want that person to have control over and take advantage of you. You must learn, somehow, to have it for yourself. I had that man take a lot of money from me because I couldn't wait to learn how to do this. It seemed too hard. Choose your hard.

As a woman of course, my path is not the same, but I would suggest that you not make it a goal or a need to have a girlfriend. Just focus on figuring out how to get a date. Once you've figured that out...which may take awhile, do your very best to use those dates to genuinely get to know that woman as a person, not towards a goal of a relationship, necessarily. BUT make it your primary goal to establish yourself. This is all important. Hit the Gym, Hit the books and your career. When you feel the urge and frustration that you currently have, when you feel lonely channel that into building your hobbies and make friends within those hobbies, and reading books by people with degrees, not redpill, on women's psychology and sexual functioning.

If you do this, by 25, 30, you will be a force of nature. Can you be patient? Because there is a lot of good waiting for you on the other end. You may feel old, but your life is just getting started.

sturgeo123 · 2023-06-27T02:40:22+00:00

Give urself small manageable goals. Like going and asking a woman for directions or a simple question that won’t cause u much anxiety. I promise it will get better after a while. I’m sorry u feel like this. My messages are always open if u have any questions.

veladem · 2023-06-27T08:04:19+00:00

I agree with the rest here, 20 is still young, work on yourself and go from there. I've seen people pack up and move states bringing nothing with them in their mid twenties.

I've seen people get 'lucky' on YouTube before they even hit 18 and end up with a massive channel and more money than they could manage.

Take life seriously, but slowly, do what you love. No need to overthink anything this hard or have a midlife crisis before even a quarter of your battery is spent.

Best of luck, may the games be ever in your favour!

vcreativ · 2023-06-27T11:15:48+00:00

Most of depression is caused by social isolation. In simple terms, you need to find some real friends. The type you can talk to about your fears, and that stick around when you do. That should be the standard of what's considered a "friend".

There's also Jordan Peterson's self authoring program which might be worth a try.

Habits like meditation and sports may help you organise your thoughts, but they don't solve any of your problems.

Friends is arguably the biggest one.

try to at least do something useful

What you're feeling is existential dread born out of the fact that the things you're doing may be useful, but not what you want/need to do. It doesn't progress you on the journey of self-discovery. It's busy work.

Self discovery is both difficult and simple. It's mostly asking yourself over and over again what it is that you might want to do and putting yourself into environments to try it out.

If you're afraid of trying things, order them in a list of least fear inducing to most fear inducing and start picking from the bottom. There's always something where you'd say, yeah I could probably try that.

And you also need to discover what sort of friend you can be to whom.

There are some logical limiters, though. If you're in a place where there aren't many people to befriend or ways to befriend them, then you should move. College sounds like a great idea.

SufficientDot4099 · 2023-06-27T01:55:51+00:00

At this age, your life has barely even started

6stringfella · 2023-07-11T00:12:06+00:00

First things first, get off social media for awhile. Algorithm is your devil's advocate. If you've been consuming RP content, it's all you're going to constantly run into in your social feeds.

It's like treating addiction. One of the first steps is to cut ties with any fellow addicts in your life. Right now, social media is that addict friend/family member you need to sever ties with.

Then, get your self preoccupied. Take up a hobby, exercise, hang out with friends if you can.

caabiop · 2023-07-14T17:34:20+00:00

lift weights, do brazilian jiu jitsu, preferably do both and stop researching the reasons to convince you to be doomed

Codeofconduct · 2023-06-27T08:33:31+00:00

Bro I wish you'd have listened to your high school English teachers before commiting to writing this.

It's tough to even know what you want to say through that brick wall of text, holy shit.

Title	How do I stop feeling so hopeless?
Author	Vasssion
Upvotes	12
Comments	28
Date	June 26, 2023 3:59 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/14jl640/how_do_i_stop_feeling_so_hopeless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-stop-feeling-so-hopeless.1223461 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223461

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