[FR] Girl that was supposed to meet with me at 8 AM at a coffeeshop suddenly bailed and tried to gaslight me to thinking it was my fault.

videogames_ · 2023-07-29T01:08:51+00:00

Don’t meet up women at 8am. That’s way too early. That said, the moment she changed the frame and started gaslighting you to pick her up, that’s a huge red flag and you NEXT.

What you should do is meet ten other women who are better than a potentially borderline personality disorder woman.

Duemkush · 2023-07-29T05:13:56+00:00

Other comments have already highlighted what you did wrong so Im not gonna add to that. But man, you havent even met her in person yet and she starts bitching over the phone about the place, time, etc of the date she already agreed to. Shoudlve just hung up on her when she started saying stupid shit, if shes like that on the first date its not gonna get better. Imagine her attitude after a few months.

Woujo · 2023-07-29T05:05:17+00:00

This is an example of what happens when guys take Red Pill shit way too literally and autistically.

First, asking her to meet at 8am is weird as fuck. Like, why?? Is this some kind of weird power move? Just be normal dude. The only girls that would agree to this are probably already fucking psycho.

Second, when she asked you to pick her up you should have just picked her up. I know it technically violates the rules of Red Pill to do a nice favor for a woman she has not deserved, but saying no just makes you look like a weird tightass. My philosophy is that its ok to occasionally do some lightly beta shit to move the interaction forward. You can make up for it in holding frame in other ways. If you kill the whole date because you wouldn't pick her up, was it worth it??

Also don't accuse women of gaslighting. That's some shit women do. You're a grown ass man. Nobody's gaslighting you.

PiperBigBell · 2023-07-29T02:14:25+00:00

You're an idiot for trying to meet a woman on an 8 a.m. date. She isn't thinking about sex. She isn't thinking oh I wanna look good for him. You know what she's thinking about? What she's doing for the rest of the day. She's thinking oh this must be platonic. She's subconsciously thinking about work because that's what most people do around that time. Drinks or the park by your place or straight to your place. Always around 7 to 7:30.

thetonybvd · 2023-07-29T12:17:30+00:00

I will go against all the redpillers here but :

1/ You settled the date like a champ. The time, the location etc and she agreed in the beginning

2/ If she was really into you at 200%, she will make the effort to meet you and spending time with you. Period.

3/ We are in 2023, women are now grown ass adults, she could come at the location by herself... if she was into you

4/ 8 a.m isn't weird tbh. You can have a "breakfast" kind of date, just like you can have a nice picnic at 12 p.m at the park. It's isn't weird if she was into you, for a serious relationship. Of course the 8 p.m dates are better if you wanted sex right after. But it can be done at the 2nd date ?

5/ If she wanted you to pick her up, she should have asked you by text, with courtesy and diplomacy.

6/ At the first second she called and started to yelling at you and insulting you, you should hung up and ghost her forever. She have issues, move on, they're better girls outside.

Edit : It can be a real nice shit test for how much she is interested in you, how much she is into you. She will accept the coffee and breakfast date only because you're her number 1 option. If you need to spend hundreds of dollars at date nights to impress a girl, you're dating the wrong girls and you probably got played by these girls.

PirateDocBrown · 2023-07-29T06:55:54+00:00

Nope. This is a woman with problems that you have no part of, and it should stay that way. Indeed, there ought to be a Facebook page where guys can call this kind of stuff out by name, just as women do for us.

djdmaze · 2023-07-29T03:43:47+00:00

This the problem with online dating. I like picking up girls off there too but got damn you can’t feel them out online. This would’ve been less likely to happen if you met her in person. What a bitch and you would’ve felt those vibes, I honestly feel like you two wouldn’t have even gotten that far IRL. Vibes would’ve been off

ThrowawayYAYAY2002 · 2023-07-29T08:42:39+00:00

An 8am meet? What the fuck?

Midday onwards if you don't want something heavy. Night time if you want to impress/excite.

beingfunnyinaforeign · 2023-07-29T01:17:45+00:00

it sounds like you guys agreed on meeting there, so obviously you didn’t do anything wrong. imo it’s not appropriate to pick up someone on the first date and she wasn’t holding you to a reasonable standard. The stuff about being a man and taking initiative is dumb because it was the first date; you don’t owe her anything. She’s unreasonable and disrespectful; just block her and move on. In short, no you didn’t do anything wrong except waste your energy. also 8am is too early for a date

NoMoreMrNiceJay · 2023-07-29T23:45:24+00:00

You found a girl who lacks assertiveness (too many of them now).
She needed to start an issue (fake argument) in order to be assertive.
During which time she confessed to being afraid of meeting a random man from Tinder for a coffee at 8am.
She also shittested you a lil.
Asks you to hang up but keeps at the phonecall (clearly interested and wants to know you are too).
Trying to check how often you get laid (R U meeting other girls?).

She sounds crazy in a clingy type of way (usually the most filthy ones, am I right?). Would require the effort of teaching her some basic assertion though, if you cba.

Girls are often scared of meeting random guys in places they have never been. It's your decision if you wanna take on the task of providing a comfortable relaxing arena for them, allowing her to relax herself all the way on to your dick.

Your main gripe seems to be, "We didn't agree to that."

Also, had this date gone well, and she wanted to fuck. Would you say no in order to made your 10am grocery shopping appointment?

Why the fuck are you squeezing her into a 2 hr 8am slot? (It's weird, she's right).
Why the fuck wouldn't you just pick her up? (Full autist mode here). Either before or after being asked.

BobbyPeru · 2023-07-29T05:29:16+00:00

The fact you wrote a whole long post on this instead of ghosting and blocking her suggests you have a lot of personal work to do

ATrashMan · 2023-07-30T01:43:42+00:00

Never in my entire life have I thought about scheduling an early morning date with a new girl that I have not fucked yet. You are wild bro lmao.

MattyAnon · 2023-07-30T21:39:16+00:00

So I called her after 5 minutes and then she started bitching about how its my fault as a man

Bullet dodged.

Thoughts? What should I have done?

Understood the situation faster and ended things sooner.

nilco · 2023-08-02T09:27:21+00:00

Honestly this is all your fuckup.

Im guessing you havent really internalized alot of RP content and that you just have a whole lot of theory in your head about frame, shittests etc.

What do we know: She agreed to meet you at 8am She "flaked" She wanted to meet up abit later

Most things in life happen for a reason right?

So why "flake"? Maybe she decided she needed to shave her pussy, maybe her eyebrows took abit longer to get right then usual?

A meetup at 8am would mean going up at 5.30-6am for most girls just to step outside. For a date? Longer.

She probably wasent finished in time to make it at 8am. She asked you to pick her up.

Why? Logistics most likely. Maybe she wanted to be able to bring you back to her place and she dont have a car?

Women dont tend to just do random shit, there is usually a reason.

You decided that your theory "frame" came above everything else and you probably missed out on getting laid due to this.

Heil_S8N · 2023-08-03T13:24:44+00:00

what the fuck is this?

I set a schedule for the date to be at 8am right

Who does this bro? WHO SETS UP A FUCKING DATE AT 8AM?

she texted early in the morning and said can we do it at 10am instead?

So she wasn't ready because you expected some chick to wake up at 6-7 and be pretty and ready for your ass? bro hahaha

I then texted her that I can only do 8am because I'll be doing grocery shopping around 10am.

This is so stupid it's hilarious. Grocery shopping? You act like it's a fucking appointment or a shift start. You're talking about going to Walmart dude, nobody is going to take you seriously when you say you can't do something because that's your planned Walmart time.

She then said "weird"

And so is everyone reading this thinking lol

"Are you gonna pick me up?" Even though we didn't agree on me picking her up.

On this whole picking up interaction I can give you some right since you say that she did say she was going to be there by herself and bla bla, but your stubbornness over the time because of Walmart and shit create a lot of inconvenience for a chick. Its the first date. If you don't want girls to flake over these situations just set up comfortable times for them and try to meet in the middle where it's irrelevant. And no, you CANNOT convince me that being in the local Walmart at exactly 10 is not irrelevant.

On everything else, yeah she was acting crazy and she probably is assuming your conversation is not a hyperbole, you can call it a bullet dodged if you want to, but if you want to meet girls, being ridiculously stubborn not being willing to compromise on anything, demanding ridiculous things from them like meeting at 8AM without compromise, and telling them they're so insignificant to you that you wouldn't delay your Walmart shopping a bit later for them, is not going to give girls a good impression. Frame is not what you think it is.

lietruth · 2023-07-29T03:16:21+00:00

Hate to say it bro but you lost frame big time. I’m not going to lay out every mistake but I’ll lay out the big ones. Agree with me or not, it’s my opinion.

I understand you didn’t agree to pick her up, but if she asked over text- you could’ve said “Of course! What’s your address”. Play along with her fairy tale thing. You asked her out, it’s a date, you gotta pick her up. You want her to pick you up? I don’t think so, right. Then pick her up next time if you’re asking a girl out. Basics - you don’t lose alpha points for this. (I agree that you’re actually logically correct; but women are illogical af. Hard pill)
Date sounds lame. Meet at a cafe? And do what? No tingles or opportunity at 10am. She probably slept in. Women want adventure. Should be date then walk then location change; then aback to your place. Easy evening time. Better ops for escalation
If she’s acting shitty like this - don’t give her 1st, 2nd and third chances. This isn’t your new wife with your second baby on the way, this is tinderalla number 5 of the month. Cut your losses and move on.

donaldcargill · 2023-07-29T06:37:29+00:00

I would have said next and acted accordingly. Also maybe always means no.

BeetleLord · 2023-07-29T13:37:02+00:00

What should I have done?

Should have dropped contact immediately when she started complaining, what an annoying bitch.

easy-money-sniperr · 2023-07-29T23:06:04+00:00

Everyone’s already saying it so I’ll just say what I think. Only go on a date this early if you’ve either FaceTimed her a lot or this is 3rd+ date.

When she said 10 am you should have just said yes, why not go grocery shopping at 8? Or after the date. Dating is all about working together and making sacrifices, I don’t see how grocery shopping is so important that you need to be strictly on schedule for it.

Once she started going psycho on the phone you should have just still moved on and forgot about her. If you really wanted to make it work the way you acted just made you sound immature, by continually bothering her about not showing up to the cafe.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-08-01T10:43:32+00:00

You tried to argue with her feelings. The two of you aren’t a good match, move on.

meanas9 · 2023-07-29T13:24:18+00:00

Man, you set a coffee date for 8am??!! And then you complain and waste your energy to write this whole saga because of a failed coffee date at 8am. Boy you don't need RP you have to work on other issues.

qunamax · 2023-07-29T05:14:42+00:00

I am with the girl on this one. Look at this post, you are bitching online, I can only imagine how it goes irl. 8am date?! 10am grocery?! If you don't own a car and don't know how to be a gentleman and pick the girl up at her place, you got the whole RP thing wrong.

waterjug82 · 2023-07-29T14:57:10+00:00

You’ve never met her yet she’s insulting you, making demands, and claiming you’re gaslighting? Immediate red flag. Just imagine how bad she will be once she’s actually comfortable to let her real self out around you…

comcain2 · 2023-07-29T17:15:42+00:00

She's WAY screwed up. Pass on her.

Malakyas_ · 2023-07-29T17:16:40+00:00

you handled it well, I had fun reading it, but could you use something like

_we agreed to meet at the cafe on the said time , we agreed to meet at the cafe on the said time.
_ you're annoying.

and then she hunged up on me.

this would be more cool to read as history.

wkndatbernardus · 2023-07-30T03:05:50+00:00

Damn G, you have mad patience. I would have dropped that call STAT, like Boost Mobile service.

BoJvck34Empire · 2023-07-30T18:35:00+00:00

didn’t read the entire thing, but off the get go this girl is an instanext.. Not dating material. Don’t overthink it.

Ragnardanneskjunior · 2023-07-31T02:43:54+00:00

You need to slow down the interaction and don't respond until you can keep a big shit eating grin on your face while you say whatever it is you gotta say. This is really low self-esteem behavior from her and you gotta learn how much pain they can take before you soften just a bit and then she would probably do whatever you suggested. I have dealt with these type of women more than I'd care to admit and they become a huge pain in the ass very quickly so she probably saved you quite a hassle.

thatGUY2220 · 2023-07-31T05:21:33+00:00

Who sets an initial date for 8:00 am? It’s like you’re not even giving yourself a chance to succeed.

If I am meeting a girl for the first time and it is unclear whether or not we are going to hook up…chances of success are significantly improved if the girl just can show up and have a good time without worrying about logistics or other things.

ilivincin · 2023-08-01T22:39:57+00:00

First reaction, it cost you some time and a little effort to dodge this bullet.

I second yhe reply that said don't meet up with a woman you are interested in dating at 8 am.

Try to keep dates strictly for evenings. A date is the chance for intimacy. Period. If not, why would you be looking for a buddy?

Title	[FR] Girl that was supposed to meet with me at 8 AM at a coffeeshop suddenly bailed and tried to gaslight me to thinking it was my fault.
Author	Internal-Brother
Upvotes	6
Comments	102
Date	July 29, 2023 1:01 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/15cepy7/fr_girl_that_was_supposed_to_meet_with_me_at_8_am/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fr-girl-that-was-supposed-to-meet-with-me-at-8-am.1226806 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226806

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