Just about three months into separation and the closer the weeks come to Friday the more anxious and depressed I get. I go to the gym every morning and yoga twice a week in the evenings but basically dick around on the weekends with not much to do.

I know I shouldn’t do this, but my stbxw seems to have moved completely on like our almost 20 year marriage didn’t matter and is out living her best life and it brings me down. I guess it’s because she checked out a while ago and couldn’t wait to be on her own again? It just hurts that I’m still down about this whole thing and she is taking it in stride like it’s no big deal.

I just got my motorcycle permit again and have signed up for a safety class and will get my license once that’s completed but that doesn’t start until mid October. I know the bike I’m going to get, Triumph Trident, and am taking the long approach to complete that goal to get to riding again.

I just don’t have the desire yet to regularly go out and be social at bars or wherever. First decision I made when she dropped the bomb on me was not to drink, and I haven’t. Prior to all of this I only would drink socially on the weekends so I don’t even miss it. The couple times I did go out with a friend I felt surrounded by couples and families and felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb and couldn’t wait to leave. Like oh look, there’s a loser divorced guy who couldn’t keep his marriage together. I know this is an insecurity, but it’s just how I feel when out and about.

I’m finding things to do with my daughter, but she’s 16 and has a very active social life so she’s always someplace else with friends.

Any of you have the same experiences? How long did it take you to overcome the feeling of dread to just go out and be a person again?