What I find the most frustrating and disappointing about going through this process is how it’s literally all about them.

We would have been married for 20 years in October and I thought I knew her. She was one of the most funny, affable, selfless and giving people I knew.

Boy how that has changed. From the moment she told me that she has changed and she needs to focus on her happiness, I knew I wasn’t dealing with the same person anymore. Others may still see her as she used to be, but the person I married is completely different to me.

I’ve lost count how many times she’s told me what she’s “entitled to” and that she can’t be “disadvantaged” in our separation agreement.

I drafted it with the sole purpose of providing for our 2 kids. I put in there I would fund college savings by myself until we either sold the house in 2 years or I refinance and buy her out after our daughter graduates high school. I’m living here for 2 more years at the minimum. Even then, my stbxw would be contributing pennies compared to what I committed too.

I will continue to pay for cell phones, car insurance and all maintenance for the one car my son drives, I will purchase another car and cover insurance and maintenance for my daughters’s car, all my daughters expenses and a host of other things. She is living with me and I did not ask for child support.

From day one I told her I don’t want anything from you and I will not be paying you to walk out on our marriage and break apart our family.

This is a woman that makes WELL over $100k a year, stock options, excellent benefits and hundreds of thousands of dollars in her own retirement and other funds. Almost $100k in vested stock alone.

But because I make more and have more in my retirement, she’s entitled to it. It is fucking infuriating.

I told her, if this goes to court, we will each have to pay tens of thousands of dollars, this could easily take years to get completed and whatever is taken from me, if it goes there, will be less for the kids.

With how well she is doing, I’ll never forget the day I checked her bank account while we were still together and her balance was $.07. That is SEVEN CENTS!!! How on god’s green earth can a person that makes very good money end up with that balance a week before her next pay day? We maintained separate bank accounts and she did pay a couple bills for the house and her own car but that’s it. I carried most of the expenses and still had to bail her out more often than I should have. Her credit card debt is off the charts and when she was still living here would get packages delivered everyday and I mean everyday.

So, I am dealing with a woman that makes very good money, doesn’t know how to budget herself, and now only views me as another funding source.

Why are we responsible for making up the difference when she should be more than capable to fund her own life now? Since she moved out, she is literally only responsible for herself and has to make no other decisions other than what she wants to do. I am now sole provider for our home, our daughter, our pets, I am the taxi driver, grocery shopper, meal maker, house and yard maintainer.

She gets to live her best life in her brand new apartment while our once shared responsibilities are now mine alone and I need to pay her for that?

Our pending divorce was her decision alone, I didn’t want it, our kids didn’t want it, but she had to be happy. This is only about her and what she feels and wants without regard to the rest of us. And now I’m expected to pay for it. Fucking bananas.

The agreement is with with her lawyer and I’m waiting on their changes, I’m expecting the worst, but am holding out some optimism my stbxw has some principles left, but we’ll see.