Senseless

Left-Signature-5250 · 2023-11-19T06:23:50+00:00

100% accurate. Sorry for your situation, brother. This is such a common story, them just completely rewriting history. They do this to justify their actions. Not only to themselves but also their circle of friends and family.

It can be explained a lot easier by saying "I have suffered for 15 years, enough is enough!" instead of "Oh well, I'm a little bored and don't care about any commitment I made, I am just shalllow like that lol".

At least there are no children involved in your case, see this as a huge positive. With children the suffering is even more exquisite.

You will get through this - as a much stronger man and you will never let yourself be used like that by some broad. They are all like that - excellent actors, brutally calculating and selfish in a way that I can never understand. It is thorowly heartbreaking to reas through this sub and see all that suffering of loyal, hard working, decent men just because they pit their faith in another person and gave it a 100%.

Lumpy-Prior3261 · 2023-11-19T07:48:20+00:00

Yeah if she left you for another guy even if he was single .he's still a cheating AH the chances of them staying together for more than 6 months is probably less than 10% .

lifeisallihave · 2023-11-19T06:47:09+00:00

You will get there, just pick up the pieces and rebuild your life. I came to my own home from work for a family BBQ (her family) to discover she's told them she's getting a divorce. I had no idea I was coming to my own home to be shot. I've still not fully recovered from that and it will probably take a few years for me to adjust with therapy.

Substantial-Tax3194 · 2023-11-19T14:28:46+00:00

I feel your pain. 15 years here as well plus a 5 yr old kiddo. She walked away from everything for reasons not fully understood and sent me some horoscope bullshit about disappearing Aquarius the other day.

I learned of her plans on 9/17. It’s been two months and I’m waking up feeling refreshed and free more frequently. I have my kiddo with me most of the time and she is all that matters. I have made things as friendly as possible with her mom and life is good. I see the light.

You’ve got this. Give yourself time and grace and believe in your ability to blow the socks off of some other woman out there. Start talking to women even if just as friends. It helps a lot!

FlyingSaucer51 · 2023-11-19T16:31:56+00:00

I find it both horrifying and fascinating that she turned to a horoscope.

Mine did a similar thing. As she had no other form of faith, she adopted speaking with psychics about the future.

After we separated, she even stated to mutual friends, that strangers had approached her in public places with “messages from beyond.”

she claimed that, on three occasions, complete and total strangers zeroed-in on her in shopping, malls, restaurants, etc.

They supposedly approached her with the message, “You did the right thing. He’ll be OK without you. “

I firmly believe that this was some form of psychosis. Her brain trying to rectify what she had done. She had to make sure that she hated me entirely to live with her self. That’s where the rewriting history came in.

cactuscharlie · 2023-11-19T17:51:20+00:00

There are no words.

lifelesswriter69 · 2023-11-19T17:52:07+00:00

all these comments have been interesting and will put my own spin on it. see, i am the initiator.... i walked away after 20+ years.

if you were to ask my stbx, you would hear 1 of 2 stories (my opinion): 1-i am an abusive, controlling, disrespectful sob that should be dead; 2) she hurts the most and therefore i didnt truly love.....

when in reality, i am 100% confident i loved and cared just as much if not more. there was just too much hurt that caused this marriage to finally die. will stbx know what was lost? probably, probably not. will stbx hurt more than me? probably, probably not... but noone can question the life i lived... and yeah - i had to make the hardest decision of my life. it sucks even when you know its the right thing to do

SummerRound · 2023-11-19T21:31:51+00:00

I consider it the most selfish and destructive act I've ever seen. 20 years together. Shared memories. Blended families that get along. A family life we enjoyed. One layoff and midlife crisis later, and it's destroyed so she can chase her thirst for attention from someone 14 years younger. Pathetic af. And even with all the anger I have towards her, I think my subconscious mind still can't fully let go as it still believes I'm gonna have the old family life I had. Also sad.

Plebe-Uchiha · 2023-11-19T23:32:06+00:00

It’s not for no reason. It’s because it’s financially more beneficial for her to separate. It’s also brings her new experiences, new memories, new adventures, and new peace of mind.

I get it.

I’m not mad at it anymore.

I would prefer if they would admit it, but it’s not in their nature to. Just isn’t. Call it biology or social conditioning, but that level of transparency is more so a masculine trait.

Again,

I get it.

I’m not mad at it anymore.

You shouldn’t either.

Women feel deeply, and care deeply. They way they choose to cope with situations comes from building a narrative to survive. It is what it is. Can’t be mad at it. Enjoy your life while you have it. One day we will all be dust [+]

Title	Senseless
Author	FlyingSaucer51
Upvotes	26
Comments	13
Date	November 19, 2023 5:50 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17yq9lr/senseless/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/senseless.1238803 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238803

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