Saying someone has a "good" or "bad" personality is a very dumb thing to say

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-03T09:20:34+00:00

It’s unrealistic to expect people not to judge other’s personalities. Bad personality is vague, but it’s usually short hand for being overly disagreeable, unpleasant to be around or having some other glaring flaw.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-12-03T10:26:40+00:00

There are more general traits you can associate with personality though. Like shyness, theres general shyness and environmental shyness (like you might've been shy too if you were in their shoes at that moment) but others are ALWAYS shy. Things like that. Personality isn't even really scientific in the first place though

Gravel_Roads · 2023-12-03T08:56:57+00:00

Usually, when people say "good personality", they mean "a personality that's compatible with ME". For them, that IS good, so it's not inaccurate.

So it's not really about morality at all (even if some people don't realize it), it's just a matter of whether they get along with you or not.

So yeah, each person IS looking for a "good" personality, but they mostly just mean "good for ME'.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-12-03T10:18:04+00:00

how did thos happen, I hope it's just a reddit thing. no one knows what personality means anymore. is it because you're all ESL? why do you all academicize the term?

LillthOfBabylon · 2023-12-03T08:43:22+00:00

Personality being complex does not negate whether or not someone’s personality is good or not.

, it's very dumb and brash to pass judgements by labeling someone's "personality" as good or bad as if you're the arbitor of evaluation.

So what happens when multiple people agree that someone’s personality is shitty? For example: Karens. So people are not allowed to judge Karens, even though multiple people agree that Karens are insufferable, entitled bitches typically from upper middle class suburbs?

Love-Is-Selfish · 2023-12-03T10:13:11+00:00

Nah, what takes some self-deception is believing that what’s good and bad can’t be objective and is completely subjective.

objective - (of a person or their judgement) not influenced by personal feelings or opinions in considering and representing facts. Or based on real facts.

subjective - based on or influenced by feelings, whims, intuition, instincts

SmallSituation6432 · 2023-12-03T09:05:30+00:00

The core of any response will likely be that people don't try to be completely accurate and specific in normal speech. Everyday life is not a scientific thesis.

This has some real autistic vibes, so I'm trying to be gentle here. People make judgements about the world. It is normal and beneficial to do so. Part of that means judging other people, even without all the information necessary to make an accurate or fair judgement.

Also, in most of these kinds of off-hand judgements context matters. Think of the Kuleshov effect. There may not be any information to point to and say "that's the meaning and this is why" but just by being in a certain context conclusions can be made. Conclusions that result in a judgement.

Safinated · 2023-12-03T16:20:56+00:00

Ok, then use likeable/unlikable. Same thing

badeulicious · 2023-12-03T09:14:27+00:00

Good personality = not an asshole

It doesn’t have to be that complex if you don’t take it simply.

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AreOut · 2023-12-03T14:49:09+00:00

good personality - not doing to others what you don't want to be done to you

there is no need for a philosophy here

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-12-03T19:11:06+00:00

This seems like an odd attempt to claim that people can't judge you unless they have some perfectly objective standard to go by. Yeah, when people talk about personality, they're not talking about every single one of those 170 traits, they're talking about a few traits that tend to be (almost) universally disliked - being aggressive (often needlessly), being a perpetual downer (constantly complaining or never having a good thing to say about anyone or anything), consistent and frequent lying. Even then, I'm sure people with those traits or people who've grown up with people who have those traits might not see them as bad, so it's still subjective, even if most people would agree that XYZ trait makes someone unpleasant to be around.

At the end of the day, if someone thinks you have a bad personality, it's not the end of the world, they're just one person, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. But if most people who cross your path seem to avoid interacting with you unless they need to, that might be an indication that there's something (or several somethings) about you that put people off. While it is true that they might not have an objective metric to go by (how do you quantify what is an acceptable amount of aggression, for example, that would vary between people), that doesn't make a difference in whether people would want to be around you or not. If you think Bob is a perpetual sad sack with anger issues, you're going to avoid him, even if you might not be able to list off every trait that would, objectively, explain what constitutes a sad sack.

wecovetwhatwesee · 2023-12-03T21:15:27+00:00

Ok I'll bite.Yes, you can say this with perfect utility if you sort for things that people GENERALLY like in other people. A person can have a personality that is (literally) statistically good or bad. That does not mean that a SPECIFIC person would find that SPECIFIC personality to be "good or bad", but it's definitely easy enough to sort between good and bad personalities.

Of course, "good or bad" is a dichotomy where personalities are probably better categorized as part of a gradient. Like, terrible, bad, less than great, average, okay, good and wonderful.

A good personality would be one that most people would say is an okay or good personality.

A bad personality would be one that most people would say is a bad or less than great personality.

Because we can sort between "liked" and "less liked" and "undesirable" personality traits, we can say whether or not a personality is good or bad. But, it's much easier (and more practical) to put these things on a gradient and not try to make it so black and white.

heybudyougood · 2023-12-04T13:23:02+00:00

This post is written by a 15 year old who read a pop psych article

Title	Saying someone has a "good" or "bad" personality is a very dumb thing to say
Author	steliogural
Upvotes	11
Comments	63
Date	December 3, 2023 8:36 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/189pc2k/saying_someone_has_a_good_or_bad_personality_is_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/saying-someone-has-a-good-or-bad-personality-is-a.1239929 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239929

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