What to do?

EGreg · 2022-10-03T05:03:53+00:00

What's your goal? Wham, bam, thank you ma'am? Do you want this girl to be a long-term girlfriend, maybe get serious with her? Then don't push her.

There can be many reasons why a girl is hesitant to come back to your place. Maybe she's on her period. Maybe she's religious. Maybe she isn't used to moving "so fast" and is interested in something long term, doesn't want to mess it up by being "too easy". You have to read between the lines. To do that, you need to get good at building up a vocabulary of metaphors.

If you want to be "smooth", aim for metaphors first rather than the real thing. Like holding both left and right hands instead of kissing. It's going to make her think of kissing.

Going back to your place - you could have a reason. Like cooking a dinner together, or putting together some ikea stuff. After going out to restaurants 3 times, maybe you'd make a plan to cook something and watch a movie. Again, no pressure on having sex. If the movie's on and you are feeling it, it'll happen.

Over many years I've realized that the main obstacle you're trying to overcome is society. Society is what causes you to get mediocre results unless you hack the system. But society is also what's telling you that you need to lay a girl quickly, or something. It's far better to have many relationships where you aren't super-intimate, than constantly be a lone-wolf hunting and laying people. Because like anything in life, if you want quality, it takes time to get it to consistently come into your life and you need to build it up. People with specific value (looks, money) are averse to those who put in minimal effort and time to just "milk" whatever they have. They've had it happen hundreds of times in their life. You need to learn self-control, instead of instant gratification. That is, if you want to have a lot of high-quality people in your life (this applies in more areas of life than just women).

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-10-02T23:57:03+00:00

Second date; you are still a stranger. Of course most smart women would not got that fast to your place.

Dr_Sigmund_Fried · 2022-10-02T22:54:51+00:00

Don't invite her to your place for a second date. Seems like that would be a little creepy.

incognito3107 · 2022-10-03T06:39:34+00:00

Most likely you have not provided enough comfort and sexual attraction between you. Work on these during your second date and maybe then she will make pause for you to ask her to watch stamps at your house.

WanyCaleb · 2022-10-03T06:48:07+00:00

She do be like you but she's isn't ready for intimacy or sex or both. Or maybe she's shy and needs you to pester her more into going back to your place. Either way, keep on going on those dates and trying. Thank you and good night!

Gaydame · 2022-10-03T09:28:25+00:00

Attraction Comfort

You don't have the second one yet.

What reason have you given?

TheRealAlkemyst · 2022-10-03T02:53:23+00:00

I would have waited to date 3 which seems to be many's magical date (unless they go home with you on date 1 which is also popular in my experience). If she has already protested say "Hey, let's just do what we did before and whatever happens, happens. I want to get to know you better and looking forward to some adventures together." and go from there.

Asleepystudent · 2022-10-03T03:20:04+00:00

Just present it as an option. "For our second date, I'll make dinner and we can have movie night at my house OR I can meet you out for coffee"

If she picks movie night - you're in If she picks coffee - keep working on it

zapadz · 2022-10-02T23:49:57+00:00

You need to build more attraction and comfort, here are some videos on escalating smoothly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkfXuIIfULU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og1DZLKpJSY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzKZeaCa9lc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjpgbomald8

modidlee · 2022-10-03T12:20:47+00:00

Don’t be so desperate. Let things flow at the speed she’s comfortable. Trust me, when she wants to get physical she’ll let you know. You just have to be patient

hummm- · 2022-10-03T16:05:44+00:00

Don't go to your place on the second date. Take her somewhere else to hang out. It's obvious that she's nervous / scared of something. Nowadays with everything on the internet people can find every crime that happens in every city. For some this makes them more weary until they really get to know somebody. So am I suggestion is take her somewhere else where there's plenty of people that you guys can hang out and have fun. Doesn't have to be a bar. It could be a festival, flea market, bowling, anything like that. Most of the time when someone's invited to the other one's house that always raises the tension of sexual encounters. It doesn't sound like she's ready for that right now

ChicoBrillo · 2022-10-03T17:16:25+00:00

Too much expectations and pressure on her. Better not to start out at your place until you’re already seeing eachother

marshall_strud · 2022-10-03T18:20:14+00:00

Build more rapport. Take more time. She’s not ready.

JB_NSA · 2022-10-03T19:11:53+00:00

Respect the fact that she's not ready for you to f**k her. No need for tips, tricks, etc. Just treat her like a person with feelings and it will happen if it's destined to happen. If it doesn't, move on.

Repulsive-Fee393 · 2022-10-03T19:28:10+00:00

Don’t go back to your place then, fuck her in the bar toilets, duh

kindalosingmyshit · 2022-10-03T19:54:41+00:00

Try respecting when she says no

ikeepon · 2022-10-03T20:29:20+00:00

Don’t sweat it and instead invite her on another date.

Title	What to do?
Author	Mysterious_Tour_8106
Upvotes	30
Comments	31
Date	October 2, 2022 10:51 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xu2d7w/what_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-to-do.1249026 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249026

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