Why can't I get no action in high school (18M Senior)

MikeHawkizheuja · 2022-09-08T01:36:35+00:00

You answered your oen question... The looks & social skills are sub par... Work on it.. Do hair that compliments you.. Get skin complexion better as much as possible if you can.. Get out & be more social as much as possible.. Observe others failure & success... I know a guy who isn't much in the physical appearance factor at all but he's very socially tacful guy who is enjoyable to chit chat with & he seems to have great luck.. It's kind of just stuff that comes in time when you work on it.. Kinda just ease your way in, fail, relfect, & as always be taking notes & in a couple years you'll achieve great progress

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-09-08T00:44:54+00:00

It’s probably like you said your lack of social skills, if your conversation are dull and generic and short, girls will always have low interest in you.

Getting girls to like you requires you to have solid social skills, sense of humour displayed through conversation, witty banter, interesting stories or anecdotes to share, teasing the girl to mess with her, flirting sexually to create sexual tension, etc…

If you just go like:

“hey what’s up? Where you from? Oh new york nice i’m from new jersey, do you like to do for fun? Movies? Great. hey i like you can i get your number and maybe we can go to cinema sometime? Great see you.”

this type of generic conversation will always lead nowhere, regardless of how you look, because there is no personality displayed, you don’t stand out in any way, you aren’t memorable…

It’s as generic as it gets, it’s boring, you don’t connect with a girl by talking like this.

chronicva · 2022-09-08T00:56:44+00:00

Hey man would love to give some advice

1) yes height is a disadvantage i am the exact same height as you (jusssst under 5'6") (also tell girls you are 5'8" if you have already met in person) in my experience it's just unwise to worry about it as you definitely have a lot of potential at 5'6". also you are only 16 so you still have time to grow. Don't worry about that at 5'6" i have had a verrryy fufilling dating life and really have only had noticible issues when i am more worried about my height. I would say Male Pattern Blindness due to insecurity about height has cost me much more than actually being 5'6".

2) alot of the community today is focused on inner game, confidence, and being obnoxiously "dominant" or whatever. In my experience, results come more from outer game. I would recommend going through the old ASF archives and learn the principles behind the classic material so you can learn how to make your own.

3) having material prepared before an interaction can give you alot of confidence because you'll have a game plan of what to say and when to say it. This doesn't mean you have to copy some goofy story that didn't even happen to you but what you should do is have a set of stories prepared that you can use to get an interesting conversation going. But make them up so they are yours. Next time you have a shower thought or an interesting question, write it down as a conversation starter. Think back in your life and pick your top 5 most interesting experiences or adventures you've had. Develop these stories and have them in the back of your mind. If somebody were to ask you "what's the most interesting/cool thing you've ever done, you should immediately know the answer, or better yet have 10 answers.

4) you should break down human interaction and learn the subcommunications. It sounds like right now you're going in with a 'hope and pray' kind of attitude meaning you have the courage to start a conversation but don't know how to navigate it once you're in. If you go up and introduce yourself, you probably find yourself immediately in interview mode. Let's try a little exercise-do most of your interactions sound like this?

You: Hi im x nice to meet you

girl: hi im x nice to meet you

you: so do you go to school?/whats your favorite color?/xxxxaskdfiawnefo?

This is called interview mode. You are framing the interaction in a way that is factual, formulaic, and just fucking boring. She doesn't care. Instead, you need to guide the interaction from a more emotional frame. The BEST way i've found to break out of interview mode and immediately start getting results, is to turn ANY interview question i could possibly ask into a cold read. For example, instead of asking "what's your favorite subject in school?" say "let me guess, you love social studies because you have a good memory, am i right?" (note, you should actually get good at doing cold reads on people don't just throw out something random you want to try to be right)

when you do this the reaction is one of two

1) you are right and they laugh and are super entertained that you just guessed that about them

2) you are wrong and they laugh and are like "nooo actually i iawenfoak"

If you are wrong, then when they respond you can be like "oh so you're more of x"

chances are this time you will be right because they will have given you enough information with the first cold read to get a vibe of their personality. As you are doing your cold read, be screening for things you like to find in a person. when they tell you something about themselves that you like about them, reward them for sharing with you by showing a genuine interest.

As far as getting flaked on this is part of it and if you're getting flaked it at least means you're playing which is the first step. From my experience and from what others say as well, the best way to avoid flaking is to set up some sort of detailed meet up before you end the cold approach. Have a list of cool things that you would love to do each week and then when you get into an interaction, invite her along on one of those things before you leave. The thing is, attraction is very emotional, and if you have a really good interaction with someone, it's because the emotions were in the right place. The problem is that when you follow up, that emotional state and frame is gone and suddenly you're just another stranger blowing up her phone. The idea of having a second meet up is to ensure that when you text her later, you can bring back the emotion of the conversation with something other that "hey its x from x" Instead, at somepoint in the interaction figure out something you both want to go do, or figure out what music they like or something and be like "oh i bet you'd like this band". then later when you message them you can be like "hey heres a song from that band you should check out" or like "just got a ticket to x event im so excited". You're more likely to get a response as you have a reason to be talking other than "hey we met i think you're hot".

The last piece of advice i have for you is this to look into cognitive distortions-it's a model developed in CBT to help people navigate anxious thought patterns. Based on your post, i imagine you endure a great deal of suffering from the Cognitive Distortion known as labeling--you label yourself a 4/10 or a 6/10. You question whether you are "desireable" or "undesirable" These labels you have created are just little networks and maps created by your brain in order to better understand the world around you. but the world around you is not that simple. It's not nearly that simple and i know it's easy to see your inner understanding as doctrine but you should try to do some exercises to help you see those ideas in context. Because attraction is not nearly as simple as the incels make it or anybody on youtube with a graph or forum makes it. It's complicated and lots of moving parts. Don't waste precious time and energy trying to label things. Learn the Cognitive distortions, and then whenever you have an anxious thought or insecurity, ask yourself if it fits the description of any of the distortions. If the answer is yes, correct your belief or thought in a way where it no longer fits the description of any distortions. You will find that the resulting thought is usually very modest and insightful

Bandit_Beamish · 2022-09-08T05:01:01+00:00

I say forget about getting girls in HS. In High School, the number of girls you attract is based mainly on your social status. What you should do is keep going to the gym getting in better shape, work on your looks and learn game while preparing for college. You can YouTube all of that stuff and pick content creators you like and relate to. Get a job so you're not the typical broke college student. In college you can literally trip and fall into some pussy. Go to a college with a campus and lounge areas, you'd meet way more people and it'll have cool spots to chill between classes that'll make downtime worth it.

skyrunner22 · 2022-09-08T01:55:28+00:00

I can tell you in high school alot of guys arent getting "laid" for most part. You will look back and if you talk to your friends candidly in 10 years they will all talk about how they missed opportunities and such because they didnt know. So if you are in these spaces, I would hope you are atleast aware of that. Dont be soo hard on yourself. If a guy in high school got laid it was most likely thru like a gf or some type of situation like that.

Its good that you are putting in the work, keep going. You say you weigh 130 at 5'5 so you are still relatively skinny. You would probably need a goal of atleast 15-20 more pounds to show that you work out with clothes on. Work on that and then from what it sounds like a face cleaning routine would help, hygiene overall.

In high school its mostly a silo type closed off society. So you need to bring value in that way, what is your social circle like, do you throw parties? Are you popular, do you have many friends? Usually that is quickest way to getting girls. When I was in high school, when I started playing sports it changed everything, it opened me to different social circles thru my teammates, was invited to parties, etc. I didnt see you mention anything like this.

The guys I can see who got laid in high school were athletes, in social clubs after school, threw/access to parties, or took another route like sold illegal substances/had access to them, got a job/had money and car. I knew a guy who had all of above, and probably got laid the most in high school while also dating a girl. Joining a club like photography or drama, anything will expand your social circle, give you a skill, make you more social and make you more interesting.

I didnt see you mention social circle or your friend group, how is that? What do you do on weekends? How about after school? Cold approach isnt really the best for in high school, maybe if you are in mall with friends to meet girls at other schools. I know times have changed also but when I was in school girls didnt want it out there what they were doing so what was a smart thing to do was meet girls at other schools as they would hook up with you easier since you didnt go to their school and couldnt "ruin their rep"..

Either way good luck

throwaway_6196190012 · 2022-09-08T04:08:12+00:00

Brooo you're only 18, you rated yourself like a 4 or 5/10 looks wise. I'd say forego chasing girls. Focus on building a career/business/income, keep working out, have fun with your friends, do anything and everything social so you can get comfortable talking to people, and experiment ylwith your looks. It might take a while but men age like wine if they put in the work. So go put in the work

zapadz · 2022-09-08T00:38:02+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08sXxIx6ots

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-o3SOYYSxA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeA14HjZbYE

Bright-Glass3175 · 2022-09-08T00:15:04+00:00

your face sounds hideous, sure keep going to the gym but focus on improving looks: mewing (look up matt phelps, brae, and tomazzo on yt), hair care (r/tressless finasteride 0.25 mg daily, minoxidil daily, and microneedling weekly), and skincare (idk yt it) get a better hairstyle to cover up ur big forehead, and try to get lean, girls don’t want a super bulked dude, focus on aesthetics, watch tails on YT (he says mewing doesn’t work but he’s wrong)

RicoEStrong · 2022-09-08T05:56:52+00:00

You REALLY should have joined the football team and you're short

Mr_Throwaway2834 · 2022-09-08T07:54:58+00:00

Read Mode One

cronasminate · 2022-09-08T12:06:16+00:00

It’s very important to meet the looks threshold. You sound unattractive in the face which is what most women care about.

Do everything you can to fix that. Nothing else matters. If you have an ugly face, your muscles wont matter, your social skills won’t matter because they wont even give you a chance.

That being said, guys look better overall when they have high muscle mass. Going to the gym will help improve your face or make it less of a focus.

Got for looks archetypes that focus less in the face and more in the body or attitude. Find your brand and embody it.

epimpstyle · 2022-09-08T12:50:57+00:00

Look after the girls who are a bit shorter than you and you are fine and take care of yourself as much as you can regarding being clean, wearing nice clothes, smelling nice (don't ignore your teeth they are very important) and your hair - if you go to a hair salon they will suggest you a good haircut or maybe you go bald because if you are fit, you could look interesting and cool.

Regarding the cold approach, I suggest you to go for an indirect approach because if you are going with a direct approach it is unnatural to talk to a girl ONLY because she is cute... also she has only a few seconds to accept your companion or tell you that she has a boyfriend. An indirect approach allows you to talk more to her and you will feel if you can tell her that you'd like to see her again because she will talk more than necessary (this is the easiest sign)...

The idea is to talk to girls (people) as much as possible and an indirect approach is a solution even if she doesn't give you her phone number, you are still a winner because you spend a few minutes talking to a girl - it is a good step.

Title	Why can't I get no action in high school (18M Senior)
Author	Painting_Whole
Upvotes	12
Comments	22
Date	September 8, 2022 12:09 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x8kwln/why_cant_i_get_no_action_in_high_school_18m_senior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-cant-i-get-no-action-in-high-school-18m-senior.1250394 https://theredarchive.com/post/1250394

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