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[–]cannesfilm 83 points84 points85 points 3 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
This is great stuff. Good job OP.
Can you give more examples you use as excuses to get girls to come over to your place or you go to theirs?
[–]JohnnyMnec 40 points41 points42 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Totally agree. I especially loved OP's positive attitude.
About excuses: Not their place but I can give examples for your place. It can be anything that makes sense (that you cannot easily or as conveniently do outside). Such as you can make coffee and turn some music on, you can chill with some drinks or you're going to show something very interesting that you have. Note that this also depends on the time/context, like you won't find any place to sit with drinks in the middle of the night.
The point is, you actually do what you told once you're at your place. But now, you're in a private place and things can go forward as much as you both want.
[–]KarpenLogses 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Positive attitude is half the battle in this game.
[–]my-dating-throw-away 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
95% of the battle, and I'm losing lol :(
[–]TuckerTheCuckFucker 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
My personal favorite I use is:
“I’ve got a bottle of wine back at my place with our names on it”
[–]bigblackshaq 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Cheesy af. Might be a good laugh for Reddit but you just revealed all your cards
[–]TuckerTheCuckFucker 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It’s never failed me irl yet but okay whatever you say
[–]HanEyeAm 23 points24 points25 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm not sure an excuse is needed. Seinfeld-esque tricks should never be used; you want her in an inviting mindset, not a cautious one. Just pick something that you already connected on, so it has a logical flow.
"I just have to show you X" is a classic. Tell her that you need to get home and walk your dog, and ask whether she would like to join you. Use a bet for something they could only do at home, in a teasing way, like telling a bartender there's no way in hell she can make it better lemon drop than you can. Even be ridiculous with it to break any nerves; if she says sewing is her hobby, tell her you bet you can sew a button faster since you took a Master Class with Giorgio Armani. Whatever.
Once I had a woman tell me she was a big Rush fan but didn't have any CDs (before online streaming). So I invited her back to my place to listen to Rush. To listen to RUSH. I mean, she lobbed me the softball, I just had to take the swing.
[–]throws747 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Others have responded with good answers, but yeah it’s just any excuse to get back to your place.
“Hey I have some really good wine at my place, let’s go get some”
“You have a dog!? Well I need to go meet the little guy!”
If the girl says no to these suggestions, it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. It jus means she needs to get to know you better and get more comfortable. You can always ask later. If she says yes though it’s basically bound to go down. You and she knows that. Just don’t badger her to much or you might come off overbearing and feel like your only after her for sex. I usually ask her extremely casually with these suggestions, almost as if I don’t even care if they say yes or no
[–]StoraSkorLitenKuk 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
You can say the dumbest shit ever and it’s going to work if she already decided to come home with you.
I’ve said things like ”I want you to meet Greta, she’s waiting for us back at my place” and she was like ”Who’s that?”.
”My robot vaccum cleaner”
She laughed and we went to my place.
[–]SPENCEandtonic 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In the past I talk about how I like to collect thrift store art pieces so I will say something like let’s go back to my place and make a cocktail and if you’re lucky I might even l show you my thrift store art collection.
Great list tho. Good luck boys.
[–]bandsupjay 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just say to have fun or watch a movie or some shit. Doesnt have to be so serious. If she declines she declines but if you sound confident and homecoming its okay
[–]MO_drps_knwldg 50 points51 points52 points 3 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Great post. Number 5 is critical; your self- perception and the energy you bring to the interaction is essential. If you go in thinking you’re creeping her out or bothering her, it will usually manifest that way in some manner.
Keep being observant.
Having such a hard time with this. I'm always nervous about trying new things. My approach comes off so nervous when I go out because I'm still new at it.
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My problem was always asking too many questions (maybe from being a teacher😅). It must have seemed like a job interview for them. I like the idea of using assumptions instead.👌
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wisdom right here
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
As a woman, I can tell you that NUMBER 5 is spot on. If you want us to think you're cool/fuckable, you need to believe that you're cool/fuckable and project that.
Number six is also really important. Rejection is not a big deal at all. During my single periods, I'd go on 5-10 dates a month (as a conventionally attractive female) and there was probably about a 10-20% chance that the attraction and desire to hang out for a 2nd or 3rd was mutual for both parties. Sometimes I didn't wanna pursue it further and he was rejected... and sometimes he didn't wanna pursue it farther. It's not a big deal and happens to every one.
[–]immaSandNi-woops 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’m honestly curious how people can identify themselves as attractive, or unattractive. Like I get people have a rough idea but to be so sure that you’re one or the other, very interesting.
I feel like a picture would help whenever people give out advice. Like certain advice might only apply to attractive or unattractive people.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’m conventionally attractive. I’m 5’10, slim, long blonde hair, fake boobs. It’s not everyone’s type but it’s a fair majority.
People know if they’re attractive or not. I’m happy to post a pic or you can DM me for my socials that are too average to be fake.
[–]immaSandNi-woops 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Just sent a message
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Didn’t get anything so messaged you.
[–]OnceUponAWasteOfTime 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great post, I agree with every point. These are basically the key components for game
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]throws747 41 points42 points43 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you wait for them to make a move or to give you a sign you will literally eliminate a crazy amount of women from your pool. The two women I approached at the bar gave me no indication of attraction. In fact neither one of them even saw me before I approached. I just thought they were cute so I went and talked to them. Waiting for a sign is ridiculous. Some girls are to shy to make the move in the first place.
[–]my-dating-throw-away 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I was just wondering about this myself. Awesome and thank you.
[–]Ephraim_Winslow1891 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Warm approach? Is that like if you smile and wave at them first before approaching? I know what cold approach is but never heard of warm approach.
[–]ixent 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Do you go out alone? Or with friends
[–]throws747 15 points16 points17 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I go out with friends usually. Usually once a week really. I don’t make Game my full time job like some people do on this subreddit. I just go to have a good time with women as a side goal. Seems to work best for me
[–]ChutiyaChutney420 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Any advice for the assumptions part ? I always seem to head back into questions eventually
[–]throws747 22 points23 points24 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I’m not saying questions are forbidden. I for sure ask them. You just need to be carful that it doesn’t turn into a interview.
When you think of asking a question just assume it anyway. Doesn’t matter. Instead of “So did you come here often?” Instead you say “You look like your a regular here”. Don’t ask “What do you do for work?” Instead look at them like you’re thinking and say “You look like your the lead manager at a subway or something”. It’s playful and a bit silly. The specificity of the assumption will work even better. Your goal is to get them to start asking you questions. Once the girl is asking questions you can take a deep breath, as the hard part is now over. She is becoming invested which is great. A girl that isn’t interested will never ask questions as she doesn’t care about getting to know you better
[–]AncientSatisfaction4 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Can you give more examples of assumptions?
[–]throws747 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I mean I’m not sure what else you need an example of. Just take write down or think of any questions you can and just turn it into an assumption. That being said I can give you couple more if you really need it.
Q: What’s your name? A: You look like a Mirando to me
Q: How old are you? A: You look so young, you must have snuck in here
Q: Who did you come with? A: I don’t see your friends around you must have lost them.
Again assumptions just take what would normally be a boring question and instead makes it interesting. The girl will generally light up if you assume something and it’s right. Thats when the girls will start feeling that “click” as they say because you just “get” her. If you assume wrong you’ll get some sass, but it’s still sparking an emotion which is better then being boring
[–]JustWilhelm 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The girl will generally light up if you assume something and it’s right.
Yeah but the chances you're going to be right, especially if you're really specific as you suggested, are tiny. So what's the point?
[–]throws747 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Like I briefly mentioned above, it doesn’t matter if you’re right. It just makes the conversation more engaging. Being boring is the biggest killer for most approaches. When the guy slowly falls into the boring interview questions, where he asks, she responds, and repeat until she’s bored and rejects you.
[–]JustWilhelm 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
God there's just too much to think about at once. Like I've got to think about what I'm saying, what she's saying, where the conversation is going and what to say next and there's only so much thinking I can do in such a short time.
[–]Fancy_Cat3571 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This dude is definitely an alien in a human skin suit
[–]JustWilhelm 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What, me or the other person?
[–]blue_barracuda 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Number 2 is gold!
I love this. Great tips. Thank you brother!
Good for you man, way to take charge and pay it forward. Great to see some positivity on this sub. Super actionable points, always good to be reminded of this stuff
[–]Few_Sheepherder9554 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Can anyone please provide mega link for street attraction approach to lay
[–]JustWilhelm 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How do I get over point 5 if approaching women in clubs generally makes me feel uncomfortable - like it would be bothering them and I shouldn't do it. I've had so many people tell me it's fine but no amount of reassurance will ever be enough.
[–]throws747 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You need to work on your inner game. Currently you think you aren’t enough for these women. That could be for many reason. Maybe you think you aren’t attractive enough, broke, awkward, and a myriad of other things. You need to fix these things in order to have success in a public setting. ESPECIALLY at a club as it’s basically 90% body language.
Make a list and think about the things you want to change. If you can’t easiest thing you can start doing is working out. It’ll increase your confidence trust me. Currently something about yourself is holding you back. You should feel like they’re lucky to meet you, not the other way around. When I approach I think to myself “Will I like this girl?” not “I hope this girl likes me”. One is attention seeking, whilst the other is confident and not outcome dependant. If you think you’re going to burden them, then they will feel burdened it’s that simple
Well here's my list:
[–]daaniscool 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great advice here. As someone who is getting more into the game in the past couple of months I relate a lot to what you say. I for one am struggling to show enough signs that I am interested in women. It has been said to me that it makes women feel that I am just there for casual conversation. The truth is that it is all about practice added up with advice from people who are better in the game than you.
[–]Dioniszche 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great advice bro, thank you!
[–]Tozester 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
4
Buts it's only first few times?
I mean, when is it okay to talk about sex?
[–]throws747 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I’d say it’s better to openly talk about sex when you’re in a relationship or have been seeing each other for a while. Initially women don’t really want to know it. You show sexual intent through your actions, presence, and with some flirting.
It sounds silly, but they know it’s the end goal. They know you’re approaching them because you want to sleep with them. They just want to be courted and have a good night before doing so. They want that night to be fun and adventurous. To some capacity you should want that too.
This is over the top, but imagine if you approached a girl like this:
“Hi I’m op, I plan on talking to you and making you laugh for a couple of hours. Then at 8:30, I’ll kiss you and take you back to my place to have sex.”
It’s not very exciting is it? It feels a lot better if the event felt spontaneous, like you both are in on the secret, but no one wants to say it. There’s always that fun little dance when you get back to your place or there’s and you both are just casually talking/flirting. The girl basically is just waiting for you to make the move or they make some silly excuse to check out there bedroom. That’s the fun part for me tbh. The anticipation.
[–]DeepSlicedBacon 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fantastic summary of lessons learned.
[–]robveg 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
thanks for sharing all good tips
[–]bobyd 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
good stuff, i dont agree with the high energy tho
[–]Efficient-Evening911 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Do you go indirect or u show ur attractions immediately after presenting yourself ??
[–]throws747 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I mean when you approach your intentions are already pretty clear. Especially if you’re at a bar or club haha. Generally I just try to talk and have fun and see if I even like them first. I don’t usually hit them with a lot of complements when I first meet them, but I show my interest through physical escalation, eye contact, and overall confidence
[–]Efficient-Evening911 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That what i was asking for if its with compliment or trough body language althoug in club is pretty obvious other social situation can seem tricky like in a mall for example she caught ur eye u engage a conversation with her but then u have to show interest would u still go with the inderect way ( body language and such ) or u compliment her and make ur intentions clear
[–]cytomome 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
These are good tips, though the theory behind them is a little doofy at times. Like really, you think it's because women don't want to be slutty?-- or maybe saying "Let's go to my place to bang" is just a crass turnoff, lol.
Great points about there always being flakes, and don't be discouraged by it.
[–]throws747 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I mean it’s true 100%. If you meet a girl at a bar and she is with friends the hardest part is getting her to agree to leave them. One because she wants to leave with the people she came with. Second she doesn’t want to appear slutty to her friends for leaving with a guy she met at a bar/club. This fear is universal through all women. Women care a lot more about there social standing then men typically do. Getting the tag “slutty” really effects some women. So much so that some women will not leave with you for that reason alone.
[–]cytomome 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah no
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The fear isn’t about social status. It’s about ending up assaulted. raped and or even killed.
Please stop giving dating advice, your advice is horrifying.
[–]throws747 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never said that isn’t also true. I’m inclined to agree with you, those are also all valid reasons a girl wouldn’t want to leave with you. Safety is number one.
[–]jjju_ns 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This post helped me a lot. Thanks dude!
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