I think I now realize which subreddit wants men to succeed with dating. For years I haven't been sure which sub was the "right" one for my situation. I can't meet too many women to begin with, because my job is in manufacturing/engineering, and I work in the afternoons/evenings for 8+ hours. To try and balance this out, I moved into the city around a lot of women, but my commute is slightly further.

I'm 25. I have a tiny, practically nonexistent social circle. I had a clown/nerd reputation in high school, so I no longer talk to people from that era. In college I transferred twice and was on a sports team for two years. I only really talk to 1 guy from there who is one of my only friends from college. Then I volunteered for half a year with an out of state program, but everyone I met there is scattered around the country.

Naturally, I'm not able to get fresh pictures all the time for the dating apps if I'm not with groups of people doing hikes, going out to bars, at concerts, skydiving or whatever guys have on their profiles. Of course, I don't need to be in group pictures. But I definitely need someone to take my picture, and it feels weird to just ask a stranger to take pictures of me while I pose for an app.

So while that sorts itself out and I continue to swipe and get 0 matches, I will cold approach. And this subreddit embraces it while that sub derides it. I wonder which one is more beneficial to my circumstances? The jury has spoken.

If you are on the spectrum like myself, stay away from that subreddit. They will treat you harshly if your issue is a perceived inability to attract a partner in the first place. Here, whether you are or aren't, the advice caters to everyone who struggles with this issue. If sticks and stones break bones but words can't hurt you, then why is the stigma so strong over there?