She is shy as fuck, and so I am.

Hemingways_Cats · 2022-04-24T13:47:35+00:00

Communicate. “Hey, we’re both shy but I like you. Want to hang out and see if we can get to know each other a little/shake off the nerves?”

norwegiandoggo · 2022-04-24T12:41:21+00:00

The reason you're shy is usually because you have a lot of insecurities. Address and get over as many insecuritites as you can, and your shyness will gradually go away.

It all boils down to the same thing: You're worried you're not good enough and you worry what other people think about you.

To solve it you have to learn how to be kind to yourself and think you're worth something. And then you need to give less of a fuck about what others think about you. Your opinion about yourself is more important than other people's opinions about you

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-04-24T13:32:32+00:00

Nothing worst for attraction when both you a and the girl are shy. Sorry, but if she is shy you got to be the opposite of that.

You can’t afford to be shy too, because attraction won’t happen simple as that.

Sorry, but someone has to be the confident person, if none of you are, then this relationship won’t go anywhere most likely.

bolideimpactor · 2022-04-24T15:07:30+00:00

OMG I’m following this. This is my situation rn but with a coworker.

heretolearnsth · 2022-04-24T12:19:28+00:00

what should I do?

grab some balls

bolideimpactor · 2022-04-24T15:15:36+00:00

I strongly suggest you don’t make aggressive moves. I’m extremely shy with the guy I like and might die on that hill I swear haha. If he approached me aggressively I’d have a heart attack. Instead, give her a ton of space to observe you. Don’t startle her. She needs to see you approaching her territory—this will give her those crucial 4-5 seconds to think about what to say and gather her feelings. It’d be good to let her observe you interact with others. Ask her very friendly/non-threatening questions. Maybe make a self-deprecating joke to lighten up the mood.

ComedianSquare2839 · 2022-04-24T18:29:16+00:00

Try to do some fun activities together like bowling or any other game kind of thing together or go for a movie.. that will help you to open up with her and it should work.

RovinbanPersie20 · 2022-04-24T13:59:49+00:00

No need to try hard to get conversation going. Just smile lots and try to be relaxed. Like literally, don't say stuff if it helps you relax.

Having both of you relaxed and therefore more comfortable with each other is more important than exchanging words. Exchanges like this you want to convey emotions, not logic or information. So the words you say are not very important.

Hell, maybe even admit to her that you're nervous cuz she's cute if you are feeling nervous. That right there is not mincing words and also conveying your emotion towards her. But anyways, you don't always need to be that direct you get the gist

intelectualycurious · 2022-04-24T14:00:38+00:00

Accept the shyness, talk to her more, and see if you guys are compatible. Sometimes it’s only a question of time before people warm up to each other. If it’s not time, it might just be incompatibility.

KrAzyDrummer · 2022-04-24T15:05:50+00:00

Literally just talk to her like a normal person. Sack up and take the initiative/lead on the conversations for a while.

Might also help if you were both clear with your intentions, a lot of shyness comes from the uncertainty of not knowing the other person's interest. How about you ask her out on a date?

HorusCok · 2022-04-24T15:20:40+00:00

You know what the issues are. One way for both of you to be more comfortable together is to spend time together and building some shared experiences. This is where movie dates can shine, You both experience the film and after go somewhere for a bite or drink -you have a built in discussion thread to fall back on when conversation lulls.

Or maybe get a double/group date thing going with common friends that like each other, that takes the pressure off the two of you to hold up an entire conversation.

Alternatively, build up your courage and ask her bluntly if you can take her virginity.

Deep-Advice7587 · 2022-04-24T19:00:29+00:00

Try to get comfortable with each other, finding/sharing common interests might help, get to know each other without any pressure.

shyelizabeth18 · 2022-04-24T12:35:53+00:00

as a girl who is also very shy, i’d appreciate honesty - like if she’s talking and notices you’re nervous say something like “sorry i’m just nervous because i like you”. try to make quick eye contact with little smiles. when you get talkative and she gets nervous, maybe suggest just chilling and not saying anything. sit next to each other in silence and slowly touch hands. good luck and i hope it goes well for you two:)

2022-04-24T12:58:47+00:00

Idk if bailing out is an option depending on your options. You can't really get anywhere if you're both shy and struggle to keep a conversation going. Save yourself the hassle.

JoMamma23 · 2022-04-24T16:15:14+00:00

Most people don’t get what they want by being shy. Eventually one of you, probably you as the guy, will have to take the lead and make your intentions known so you don’t get mistaken as just a friend who never made an advances. Just my advice

pepepoopoo567890 · 2022-04-24T14:08:39+00:00

If you know for sure, theN just ask her out.

2022-04-24T14:32:34+00:00

It helps to deal with certain emotions by naming them. Say something like: "You can relax, I am just me". If you are sure about your mutual affection but still you are both paralyzed, maybe go for a little kiss? :) Find some circumstances when you are both positively highly emotional.

devonwillis21 · 2022-04-24T16:53:59+00:00

talk in a 1on 1 environment or over the phone and she'll definitely not seem so shy.

Low_Fondant9911 · 2022-04-24T18:11:12+00:00

...stop being shy. One of you has to get confidence and the way to do that is stop putting a ridiculous amount of pressure on basic conversation. Also, just conversing more in general will help both of you

2022-04-24T18:24:40+00:00

Text each other until you’re brave enough to talk to each other.

Albatrosshunting · 2022-04-24T18:53:14+00:00

It's the sort of situation that's cute to observe in a film but it sucks if you're in it. From my own experience I'd advise the following: it's gonna be really scary and not pleasant as it can be really hard approaching your crush but you're gonna have to make a move. I personally don't mind chatting to people I don't care about in any romantic way so it might help you build some confidence in initiating and holding a conversation? Wait for a good opportunity and try to chat to her even if it's awkward and try to get her number. She might be more confident texting- you'll never know if you 2 click but give it a go, at least try.

2022-04-24T19:30:58+00:00

Buddy, I know that it's hard as heck to not be shy, I was.
Just give no fucks, honestly, just tell her she's cute, next time you talk to her tell her "There's a flower, hidden deep inside the mountains, the most beautiful flower in the world, but there's something more beautiful, it's you". If you can pull that off, on the mirror, 10 times in a row, you can do it in front of her.
You can do it, I trust you.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-04-24T21:10:53+00:00

Might be 2 things. She's just uncomfortable and she has to have more time to be more comfortable around you or she just thinks that you're out of her league and she doesn't wanna mess anything up. If you were just too cool for her you only have to build more comfort so compliment her, be nice to her, and that kind of thing, not that complicated.

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-04-24T21:32:15+00:00

Well, me and my first girlfriend took about 4 months before I asked her out. In the mean time all our friends already knew. Don’t sweat it let the prices run it’s course. And at some point ask her out: “Let’s go on date and both be too nervous to speak.” I’m sure it will work out.

Title	She is shy as fuck, and so I am.
Author	Popular_Potential153
Upvotes	98
Comments	51
Date	April 24, 2022 12:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uatj29/she_is_shy_as_fuck_and_so_i_am/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/she-is-shy-as-fuck-and-so-i-am.1261293 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261293

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