Is it bad to openly tell a girl "I think we should have sex"?

2022-04-03T11:03:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Dracron · 2022-04-03T10:03:48+00:00

There's this real great shorthand for this. Work your game so that you kiss her again. Then once your done kissing and you're both hot and bothered, you simply ask "would you like to:"

go back to my place
get out of here
find something more private
have some fun, just the two of us

Say it like its a fun/naughty conspiracy between the two of you. If she liked kissing you, basically all you have to do is get the excitement back up and then close.

Its probably not a great idea to say it quite so plainly, but there are ways to imply it so that you are still extremely clear in what you're asking. Some girls will still go for the plain way of speaking, but its just not as much fun and for some girls it will kill the mood.

mightymite88 · 2022-04-03T07:42:25+00:00

sex isnt a logical decision. dont approach it logically. sex is an emotional decision. turn her on, build attraction and escalate with consent.

only ask for consent once you know shes turned on and likely to say yes. dont ask when shes cold and dry.

MasterOfConsole · 2022-04-03T07:22:01+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2022-04-03T07:28:04+00:00

No very few women are direct in such a way. Be indirect.

truecrisis · 2022-04-03T08:57:52+00:00

Never use words... It's cringe.

The universal introduction to sex is kissing on the neck. And after enough of that followed by intense fondling of each other and undressing.

Since you can't use words directly, pay very close attention to their body language and whether they are comfortable. It's also ok to ask "are you ok?" in the middle of escalating.

If it's not ok to have sex in the location you are kissing the neck and fondling, it's ok to move to a better place at that time, but uh... it better be nearby.

BenYareem · 2022-04-03T09:45:26+00:00

If you have to negotiate sex, explain sex or argue about sex. You're not her lover. Sex just happens in the heat of the moment. Go with the flow. If the chemistry is there and she wants it, she'll allow to escalate.

Ben Yareem, author of the last game

anotherwayoflife · 2022-04-03T09:15:47+00:00

i haven't had much experience with this, only times it's worked for me was when the girl was insanely attracted to me or i was just super confident.

what works more is not so much discussing it because it can sometimes make it weird or whatever, sometimes its better to just hang with her have a few drinks or whatever and be smooth about getting her back to yours.

MikeAlphaGolf · 2022-04-03T11:12:11+00:00

Invite her to be alone with you. Doesn’t have to be straight after the club, some girls will, some will never go for that. But if you’re vibing on a Saturday, invite her over for Netflix on Monday. She’ll know what’s up.

Aggressive_Crew1995 · 2022-04-03T14:42:47+00:00

You can infer to it indirectly, invite her over and make her feel comfortable. Some good music with drinks and she may just be the one that initiates it

2022-04-03T11:52:36+00:00

Depends completely on circumstance and you as a person.

If you come off as playful, perhaps self-deprecatory, it might work. Really depends on a lot more than you could convey in your post. Cut and dry, it sounds "cringe." However, its gotten me laid. it has also not gotten me laid. Depends on circumstance, her perception of you, and the chick.

gibsongirl2020 · 2022-04-03T15:29:57+00:00

Dude! Duh! Sorry but if she's leaving in two weeks she already knows if she wants to sleep with you before she goes. Either keep seeing her before leaves and see what happens. (She'll let you know what she wants), or KIT and build a relationship while she is gone. Then, when she gets back get take her on a a date or two to get reacquainted then get some, because she most like is looking for a real relationship with someone who is going to be there.

pepepoopoo567890 · 2022-04-03T16:27:50+00:00

Grab her hand and say "hey let's leave". Apply dominant tactics it's more effective than asking. Live close by of course. Don't ask directly, that's less effective.

caesarfecit · 2022-04-03T17:21:29+00:00

I think the most helpful thing I could say is to explain why this is a bad idea.

Making the leap from attraction to getting in bed is all about mastering sexual tension. Play your cards right, and she'll come on to you. Play your cards wrong, and she'll blue ball you out of spite, then call over some other guy.

Sexual tension is what you get with mutual but unexpressed attraction, which leads to uncertainty about what each person wants. In the face of uncertainty with the potential for both risk and reward, people want control. This is why you often see a power struggle where she plays hard to get and he seeks to polarize.

For a woman, there is safety in ambiguity. The longer she can wait before making a decision, the less likely it is she'll make one that isn't in her best interests. For a man, their emotional safety lies in clarity and decision.

Men put themselves in the friendzone when they stop trying in the face of sexual tension. Women sooner or later have guys lose interest when they don't take a stand one way or the other. This is why you see women hyper-invest to try and save a fading relationship, and men love-bomb when trying to do the same thing.

Anyway, point is that the first person to break the sexual tension by expressing an intent gives up all their leverage - they've shown their hand. Sooner or later we all have to, that is "the talk" and "DTR" is really about.

So for a man, the way to navigate sexual tension is to move the ball forward indirectly and non-verbally. Your decisions and the way you touch her have far more impact on this stage than anything you might say. In fact it's better to let/influence her to do the talking - this is something women often do when they're nervous, and it's a good sign because it means she's feeling the tension.

I can't give much more detailed tips without launching into some big essay, my point is that this is what Mystery meant by "the game is played in comfort" - referring to the stage of the interaction where you're past initial attraction but not in the bedroom.

Where guys screw up here is thinking they need to make big bold moves and bring out all their killer verbal/text game. That shit is the definition of trying too hard. This is the stage of the game where you give her space to fall forward, let her feel comfortable being vulnerable around you, and look for the window of opportunity which she'll consciously and deliberately give you if you've played your cards right.

The only context I can think of where direct sexual escalation verbally worked was Tommy Shelby in Peaky Blinders with that one woman, and that worked because Tommy is DGAF incarnate and that woman was obviously into him. Then he was just polarizing an interaction that was rapidly becoming a sure thing.

jbartix · 2022-04-03T09:45:26+00:00

"We should have sex" sounds like there was some objective truth to it. As if you feel entitled... comes off very wrong if you ask me.

Alternative_Title384 · 2022-04-03T11:29:15+00:00

Ask her like this “Wanna Netflix and chill at my place” after couple of drinks at the bar or a nice dinner

Sure-Local-5227 · 2022-04-03T07:31:49+00:00

Touch!! Touch her on the thigh and start rubbing her thigh nothing to far just yet. when you guys kiss escalate the situation by being close to her and not giving her room always keep an eye on what she does if she goes with it then good get laid if she backs off respect her and deescalate the situation reassess and go again but know when to stop.

bittr_n_swt · 2022-04-03T09:30:06+00:00

If you’re gonna be so direct don’t say “I think” ffs lol

Just escalate and kiss her, then escalate to your room. If it happens it happens

MeteoraRed · 2022-04-03T11:58:34+00:00

No you are saying it passively , it should be confident and firm like :
->Hey lets have raunchy sex !(Direct & Sex)

->Let's explore each other without clothes.(Funny & sexy)

->Let me eat you out while you shout my name (Will turn her on & you can proceed)

kphoenix137 · 2022-04-03T14:38:45+00:00

In my opinion it's a terrible idea. It's a man thing to do, very logical. Like the other guys said, you have to lead. Make sure the logistics are right. Sex is more exciting when both parties don't know if it's for sure going to happen, and you end up in a situation where it CAN happen.

Also, here's a cheat code from my book that has worked for me. Hang out with her just the two of you, preferably in a place where sex can happen like on her bed. Be forward but not too forward, so she gets the idea that you are attracted to her, then say you gotta go and be kind but firm about it. Actually commit to it though, don't bluff. Watch her reaction, if she's into you already, she will be 100x more into you and she will be the one wanting sex more than you do. Then meet up with her a second time and then seal the deal.

2022-04-03T13:34:07+00:00

tell me you're kidding.........

you HAVE to be kidding.........

cytomome · 2022-04-03T13:50:04+00:00

That is so lame, as if she doesn't already know that's what you're trying for. 🙄

originalgainster · 2022-04-03T14:02:36+00:00

Only one way to find out.

comacove · 2022-04-03T15:10:56+00:00

don't put the onus on her

Somerbigsomertiny · 2022-04-03T15:36:43+00:00

It’s worked for me several times in my younger days

bronzedblazedblondie · 2022-04-03T16:51:53+00:00

are you positive you're a good kisser

willgo-waggins · 2022-04-03T17:13:26+00:00

Sounds like you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Title	Is it bad to openly tell a girl "I think we should have sex"?
Author	Ace9120
Upvotes	161
Comments	69
Date	April 3, 2022 7:14 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tv3i6n/is_it_bad_to_openly_tell_a_girl_i_think_we_should/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-bad-to-openly-tell-a-girl-i-think-we-should.1263029 https://theredarchive.com/post/1263029

Comments