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[–]Sedfvgt 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
It’s fine to be a nice person as long as you don’t have underlying motives/expectations with this girl.
You have to ask yourself why you brought over the sour cream. Is it because you figured it’s no big deal? Or is it because you wanted her attention? If it’s the second, you’re being a nice guy. If it’s the first, you’re just being a nice person.
[–]loofyd 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]windpunch 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
For 1), it's intention. Let's say you give a compliment. Do you do it in order for the other person to like you, or do you just want to state what you think? People notice.
[–]loofyd 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
interesting perspective
do you just want to state what you think? People notice
this sounds really powerful .. subtle, yet powerful !
thanks man !
[–]SnooMacarons4180 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
If I were the guy, as an answer to the second question, I would've told her 'I waited 'x' mins for this, you owe me now' with a smirk and leave
[–]loofyd 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
sleek
and what if she reacted in a unwarranted way
examples;
" eww .. who do you think you are ! "
" go away creep "
" what makes you think you have a chance with me haha "
" gross i would never date someone like you "
i know this is mostly fear, but i'd just like to know your take on this
[–]SnooMacarons4180 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you're do it right and in a playful way, it won't come down to that.
[–]banditjuice6 points 4 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
I didn't necessarily want her attention. I went back to my friends right after. I only did it cuz she asked me and it was convenient for me to get it as I wanted it as well. I think I tend to overthink a lot of things. I'm actually trying to work on that. You are right. I was just being a nice person.
[–]SnooMacarons4180 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Nah mate it's all good. It was just you being kind and helpful. Don't overthink this. And maybe, just maybe, even if they think you're a nice guy, it shouldn't even matter? Because you know that you didn't have ulterior motives. Trust me brother, the lesser you care the more happy you're gonna be in life
[–]loofyd 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Because you know that you didn't have ulterior motives
and what happens in the flip case ?
what if a guy does secretly like a girl ?
what exactly should he do then ?
i really, really need to know this
[–]SnooMacarons4180 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Firstly, you let her know. False hopes and expectations would hurt in the long run. Be sure of her emotions towards you.
Secondly, and the most important part, you never ever sacrifice your self respect/ self esteem for another person.
Sacrificing time and energy is one thing, that's necessary to build connection and relationships. But self respect is your highest asset. Never ever sacrifice that. I was the one who did that few years back. It wasn't worth it, trust me.
I'm not sure what your dynamics are w her, but never forget the second point.
I'm more than happy to help you out if you give me more context.
Goodluck!
I'm more than happy to help you out if you give me more context
oh i have tons of context to provide, but for now i will refer you to a post i made some time ago - which should suffice for the sake of context
and while i got answers to that post, it would be refreshing to see your perspective
here is the post :
https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oownp2/question_regarding_female_psychology_when_faced/
But self respect is your highest asset. Never ever sacrifice that. I was the one who did that few years back. It wasn't worth it, trust me.
I am probably asking a very simple question but .. can you give an example about this ?
[–]Puzzleheaded_Tea_17 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This was a common courtesy that you should extend to anyone. you were already doing it.
I presume if you were already standing there waiting for it you would have done the same thing for another guy.
This is not the same as Nice Guy syndrome.
[–]IGetBoredSometimes23 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
It's okay to do nice things for people without expecting anything in return. Hell, our society thrives on it.
[–]BensonInFL5 points 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
As others have commented, no, not for this, but you may have a bigger issue...
You are seeking validation from the group, and at such an extreme level that you're worried that they might think that you're too nice... is the allegation that a group *might* think that you're too nice more important than extending common courtesy to someone? If so, that's a problem... not only because your biased conclusions might be wrong (for example the group might think it is sweet and you may be elevated in status instead of your perceived drop), but more importantly you're walking around making decisions based on perceived reactions instead of doing what you think is right or beneficial to you.
-B
[–]Accomplished_Ad_3418 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It’s not nice guy persona. More of kind guy persona which is different and more masculine.
[–]banditjuice1 points 4 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. I tend to overthink things a lot. Trying to improve in that department
[–]Accomplished_Ad_3418 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too my dude. Definitely me too.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]bruce_maximo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wtf?? Are guys gonna make fun of you on Snapchat for grabbing them cream cheese or will females. You clearly don’t know women lol. They probably calling a pussy from gettin then water.
[–]No-Historian-6391 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahaha what the fuck.
ITS SOUR CREAM WHO GIVES A SHIT.
[–]Rohanrox17 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
There's a difference between being a simp and chivalry, it's completely okay what you did in my opinion
[–]Shakespeare-Bot 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thither's a difference between being a simp and chivalry, t's completely well enow what thee didst in mine own opinion
I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.
Commands: !ShakespeareInsult, !fordo, !optout
!ShakespeareInsult
!fordo
!optout
[–]NinjaTurtle2077 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
There is nice and there is kind, you were kind. The difference would be in the way you behaved and body language when you gave her the sour cream, if you were confident then that’s fine but if you were nervous and “teheee here you go” then that’s a nice guy simp vibe
Also it’s important not to keep doing it again and again.
Lmaoo teehee with a boner the whole time 🤣🤣
[–]Fluffy_Risk9955 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
She applied a shit test to you and you failed so she walked away.
One of the things that happens when a girl might have potential romantic interest in a girl is she will subject him to a shit test. This particular example was a compliance test. Can I make you do my bidding? That’s what she wanted to know and you did as you were asked, which is a fail. Your answer in a case like this should be no.
No keep in mind this is during the getting to know each other stage and it doesn’t hurt to be a little bit of a d*ck in those situations. Pass the test and she might get more interest in you.
how exactly could he have passed this 'test' ?
[–]Fluffy_Risk9955 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Easy tell her: “No” with a smile. Extra kudos if you can make her feel ridiculous about her request.
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
If you think about it, it means you care a lot about how others perceive you. Which means it was a bad move. If you wouldn’t have thought about it because you didn’t care and just wanted to give her the sour cream, it wouldn’t have mattered. Its all about your own perception of yourself. If you don’t care, no one cares and if you care, they care too. Your attitude creates the context
how to have a better attitude
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s over. Transfer out asap
[–]susumaya 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Even if it probably wasn’t mean as you probably came off as a nice guy to her and her friends. But you can come back from it not the end of the world.
[–]TheCaribbeanRedditor 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are overthinking this
[–]3pinephrine 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You told her they were out instead of waiting for it then, and you only got it for her because you went to get one for yourself anyway. Not like you went out of your way or anything
[–]strikerx07 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You are overthinking it right now, the same way you overthought it when you decided to grab the extra sour cream and deliver it to her. You are not a simp for that, as long as you don't make it a routine to go out of your way for every random person and don't make a bigger deal about this in your head.
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[–]Sedfvgt 44 points45 points46 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]loofyd 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]windpunch 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]loofyd 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SnooMacarons4180 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]loofyd 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SnooMacarons4180 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]banditjuice6 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]SnooMacarons4180 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]loofyd 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SnooMacarons4180 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]loofyd 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Puzzleheaded_Tea_17 18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IGetBoredSometimes23 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BensonInFL5 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Accomplished_Ad_3418 9 points10 points11 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]banditjuice1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Accomplished_Ad_3418 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bruce_maximo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]No-Historian-6391 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Rohanrox17 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shakespeare-Bot 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NinjaTurtle2077 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bruce_maximo 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fluffy_Risk9955 -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]loofyd 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Fluffy_Risk9955 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shadow__Account 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]loofyd 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]susumaya 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheCaribbeanRedditor 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]3pinephrine 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]strikerx07 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link