Context:

I've been battling with depression, suicidal thoughts & low self-esteem for a long time since a very difficult breakup in 2019. I'm working out regularly, implemented a lot of advice from this subreddit into my life like meditation, focusing on a great life first, learning new things, etc.

Still I am depressed and it is hard to enjoy even tiny snippets of life sometimes. I can put on a very believable mask to the outside world and most people wouldn't even think I'm so broken inside.

I've been trying to approach women for the bigger part of a year now, maybe a bit longer. This means regularly going out and trying to approach women in the locations that are frequently mentioned here like grocery stores, parks, book stores, etc. Mostly daygame. STILL, in this entire time I did some intermediate steps like asking for directions etc, but that's all. In over a year of frequent going out I didn't approach a single person. I had this mental blockade, last minute resistance that felt worse than actually dying. Every atom of my body would go in shock and not act and find excuses.

What happened today:

I don't know what changed today, but I saw this girl that is absolutely my type, long, braided hair, cool style, black girl. I walked past her, and again my brain was finding excuses. She went inside a grocery store but stayed in the entrance area, sorting through fruits. I stayed outside for 2 minutes and my mind was making up all these scenarios, I was discussing with myself.

Then I remembered a post from this subreddit. It's a videogame. Treat it like a game. You gain XP, by every step you make. Just say Hey. That's all you need for the beginning. Find out if she is cool. Go for the rejection, embrace rejection, learn! So I felt this entire subreddit behind me, pushing me, and I did it. So I went inside that grocery store and I was shaking, it was soul-crushing and my lizard brain was kicking in and I walked up to her and said "hey, do you speak English [not from an English speaking country equivalent]?" She said yeah and she immediately looked SUPER FRIENDLY. Wide eyes, super open body language. "I just saw you and thought you look great. Bit random here in the grocery store I know". "Yeah it's a bit random but very cool! Thank you" Then I initiated a bit of small talk and asked her what she was trying to cook, why she was shopping in this area and not somewhere else (very expensive area) etc etc

Asked her where she is from, what she's doing. I was sweating, I could feel my heartbeat, I was mumbling sometimes, I needed to concentrate to talk, still tried to keep a cool, relaxed vibe, made jokes about how much it took me to actually do this etc.

In the end I didn't really know what to talk about more and I could see she wanted to continue shopping, so she said thanks again for approaching her and I said yeah, just wanted to give you a compliment. Then asked her "do you have insta?" She said she doesn't use social media but she has WhatsApp. So I got her number, made a joke about it being a fake number or something like that, said I like that she doesn't use social media as it is something unusual these days, I said sorry for annoying her (those last three things were too beta/needy, I know). And told her I would write her a text, which I just did.

Conclusion: I was smiling, laughing, saying "holy sh*t" to myself for the next 30 minutes after this. It was exhilarating, fascinating, mind-blowing, awesome, my self esteem was up the roof. I did not feel that alive for a VERY long time. I cannot believe I got this girl's number. I was so nervous, it was my first approach. I don't know what to say. I hope I can keep this momentum. Thank you all in this sub so so so much!!!

TL;DR: Approached the first girl in my life as a depressed person who had already given up and nothing to lose. Got her number even though I was super nervous.