I can hold conversation with a girl but dont know when to "pull the trigger"

daahs · 2016-10-06T13:24:37+00:00

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KartunNetvork · 2016-10-06T13:48:38+00:00

Do you know how your friends escalate ? They go for it

JUST GO FOR IT

this is it. You went to a party with lots of people and couldnt escalate. Whenever you think "should i go for a kiss right now ? " is a good time.

Murfdigidy · 2016-10-06T13:21:36+00:00

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nobody2000 · 2016-10-06T15:46:11+00:00

Think of this the way a doctor would.

You walk into the office, you feel like shit, you are 100% certain that you have something. Flu? Strep throat? Something else?

Well - no doctor is going to cut in with a diagnosis without a few classic indicators.

He's going to check if you have a fever.

He's going to check if you have a sore throat.

Swollen Lymph nodes.

Aches.

Clammy skin.

And other symptoms.

You need to diagnose the girl. You need to find out if she's down to kiss, or if she's just being nice. Run some tests, just like the doctor would.

If she's smiling and talking to you and that's it, don't misdiagnose.

If she's smiling and distracted, don't misdiagnose.

If she's smiling, talking to you, responding to you touching her (think of touching as a diagnostic tool), touching you back, keeping eye contact, playing with her hair, fooling with other accessories on her, then you can probably make a move.

Essentially, you should consider anywhere from 60-80% of these and other classic indicators to be grounds for a diagnosis. And yeah, you still might misdiagnose.

But you otherwise wouldn't know. So look for these and go for it.

tooeasilybored · 2016-10-06T15:03:14+00:00

Parties, especially ones where you know at least 25% of the people there makes it pretty dang easy to hookup. re you spending too much time with them? The opening is the hardest part, at least for me everythjng else after just sorta happens.

Circulate often, its a party after all. Reason I like doing this is, I can weed out the interested ones real quick. When we are attracted to another human (regardless of gender) we want to be close to them, to touch them. Once a girl has had a bit to drink she ll loosen right up. Everytime you go back to her group, you bet your ass she ll come and plant a big old hug on ya. The excitement of her seeing you, of her abandoning her current activity and coming up to you for a big hug, that's about as clear a sign as you can get.

Bit off topic, at school I met this girl. She was different, turned out she was lesbian. I really wanted her, she was not traditionally beautiful but just so damn cute. I decided I would treat it as if she was not lesbian, lets see where this goes. In class she ll save me a seat and have her friends move down, shed hang out with me before and after. Even invited me to a party she was but I couldnt go. She really confused me, gave me all the right signals then all of a sudden she tells me she has a gf and we pretty much havent spoken since, oh the one that got away. For a couple of days I thought I might have a shot to get her to...try out for the other team.

A lot of people focus too much on getting a girl at parties or gatherings, you gotta have fun. People have to see that you're a fun loving guy, and because you circulate instead of follow a girl around, you don't seem like a creep! You've just removed 2 big road blocks, and all you had to do was have a good damn time.

SunTzu111 · 2016-10-06T17:01:33+00:00

Go for her hand, at a party I grab her hand within seconds of opening, eye contact is crucial
Go for her other hand/waist/etc
Touch, touch and touch

2016-10-06T19:11:48+00:00

Keep this in mind.

If a girl likes you and you pull the trigger early its very unlikely she will stop liking you. She might even like you more because you had the balls to go for it.

If a girl likes you but you dont pull the trigger she will like you less and less. You look weak and shy. The longer you wait the less she is going to be into it.

2016-10-06T20:35:26+00:00

It's almost never going to feel "right" to just go from conversation -> kiss. You need to escalate. That might just mean touching her hand or hair or something. High fives are easy but I never do them.

stuckit · 2016-10-06T20:49:25+00:00

You need to touch early and often. I almost always start with hands. Compliment their hands. Compare handsize. Thumb wars. Etc. I generally move pretty quickly to playing with their hair. Playing with a little bit of it, to brushing my fingers through it, to stroking my thumb along the nape of the neck. It almost hypnotizes and relaxes them. It usually escalates to making out from there.

grass_cutter · 2016-10-06T16:16:27+00:00

Problem might be the setting. Kissing only really feels natural (to me) if the party has dimmed lights, or we're both relatively alone, like on the back porch.

So you may have to isolate. If it's some house party where the lights are turned up really high, then yeah, it would be awkward to go for a kiss for someone in the middle of 40 people.

You don't need a kiss necessarily though to ask someone to check out your goldfish/ ipod/ pokemon/ stamp collection back at your apartment. (hint there is no goldfish).

MrAnderzon · 2016-10-06T14:57:01+00:00

I'll save this. Good info

timacles · 2016-10-06T15:32:57+00:00

Do old school mystery method and look for 3 IOIs. Once you have those try to isolate and go for the kiss

Overnight_Delivery · 2016-10-06T19:41:26+00:00

I am not desperate for kisses or anything

When you are first learning you have to care / try.

2016-10-07T01:27:15+00:00

Assume attraction until stated other wise by the girl through verbal indications or physical indications.

2016-10-07T12:11:20+00:00

Honestly, I'm not great at the whole 'transition' thing either: shifting from conversation into escalation/kissing. From what I've learned, it doesn't really matter. If you're into a girl, just go for it. Even if it's not "smooth", the girl will still be flattered you went for it, whether she kisses you back or not.

Sometimes we can be so caught up in our own head, we forget what it would be like on the other side. If a girl said she wanted to kiss you, whether you were into her or not, wouldn't you feel a bit like a boss? It's the same for girls. Stop over-thinking. Just go for it man.

RespondsWithImprov · 2016-10-07T15:44:12+00:00

When you feel a moment of strong connection, use that moment to move things forward, or else you are taking the moment for granted and getting spoiled in the emotion, losing out on moving things forward.

BestOfPUA · 2016-10-07T16:55:38+00:00

I think you are only having friendly chats with girls, this is why it is so hard for you to make a move.

You need to isolate the girl (be alone with her somewhere), then sexualize the situation by touching and talking about sex/etc.

PUAgrey · 2016-10-07T22:14:12+00:00

Everyone else seems to be answering the question. When to pull the trigger takes practice. How to pull the trigger takes creativity. Pulling the trigger takes guts and confidence.

Also comparing yourself to others at parties in terms of women is like comparing your height to others during that puberty phase at school. Who grows first isn't necessarily the tallest in the end.

mcdinkleberry · 2016-10-08T14:13:38+00:00

My problem is the conversation part. You have something I want.

What kind of stuff do you talk about? Tell me. This is a problem I'd really like to fix

2017-01-18T00:25:12+00:00

Just whip it out see how she reacts

2udaylatif · 2016-10-06T16:45:05+00:00

LOTS OF THINGS YOU COULD DO. Here are some ideas next time for parties.

Isolate "Let's go out for a smoke" Go outside the party and find a spot. If she agrees to go with you then she trusts you. Small compliance test.

If it is her place or she knows the layout "I haven't seen this place yet show me around."

If it is your place or you know the layout "Let me give you the tour"

If neither one of you has been there "Let's check this place out"

find suitable spot.

Take her hand or put your arm around her when you bounce to new spot. Lead her. Do not remove your arm when you get to new location. Instead pull her in closer. Check and see her comfort level with you touching. If she is ok then lock eyes and go for kiss. If not back off slightly and smile and talk some more. Move in closer when conversation feels good again and try for lock eyes and kiss. Wait for high moments when she is smiling or laughing then move in.

"Let's do a shot" When she agrees then say "It is a body shot"

Look up bodyshots if you don't know what that is. If she doesn't know you get to teach her. You should get a kiss off a body shot if not go for it right after.

"Let's go dance" if there is music again take her by the hand or put your arm around her and lead her. You don't have to know how to dance just get close to her and move so she can dance and grind up on you. Pull her in close. You can go for a kiss. If you need a bit more pick her up. Literally pull her in and pick her up and spin her around. Hey you're just dancing and having fun. Girls love it. Go for the kiss when you put her down.

L3T · 2016-10-06T15:48:36+00:00

Enter her body space closer than you would a friend. Stay there for a while, then get touchy feely (pick off some fluff from her shirt, or reach to tuck her shirt label back in on the back of her neck) and observe her reaction to your kino\touch. If she maintains gaze and slows her breathing down, she's submitting. Usually you can also just tell, and then all of a sudden it seems right as she is in your arms.

enkae7317 · 2016-10-07T01:50:52+00:00

Get sexual from the get go, brah.

ejpusa · 2016-10-06T17:32:32+00:00

If u r under 23, u and her are pretty primed to mate. It's the nucleic acids ruling your brain (and her's).

Once u get older, u take u r time, no rush. u r busy with a 100 other things to keep u busy. So just go for it, in a nice, sane, way.

:-)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA

Each nucleotide is composed of one of four nitrogen-containing nucleobases—either cytosine (C), guanine (G), adenine (A), or thymine (T)—and a sugar called deoxyribose and a phosphate group. The nucleotides are joined to one another in a chain by covalent bonds between the sugar of one nucleotide and the phosphate of the next, resulting in an alternating sugar-phosphate backbone.

Title	I can hold conversation with a girl but dont know when to "pull the trigger"
Author	blackandebony
Upvotes	138
Comments	50
Date	October 6, 2016 12:34 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/56552c/i_can_hold_conversation_with_a_girl_but_dont_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-can-hold-conversation-with-a-girl-but-dont-know.1290894 https://theredarchive.com/post/1290894

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