Uh..How do I ..use a girl for sex without hurting her?

Emxif · 2015-05-10T17:33:26+00:00

You're not omnipotent, you have to let things play out. You don't know where she's at. There are virgins down for fast sex and party girls who will make you wait. Just communicate things properly, and don't lead her on like you're looking for something more.

Also you're meeting this girl off of Tinder. Unless this is a one off thing I'm sure she's fucked a few already off the app. That video on her facebook doesn't mean anything. Girls say they don't like those guys but still fall for them all the time.

Not2original · 2015-05-11T03:07:26+00:00

Don't use her for sex ya fuckwit!

This ain't the red pill.

"Leave them better than you found them"

If you want to have sex with her then have sex with her but make her feel good about the experience, not ashamed and used.

yokhai · 2015-05-10T17:22:30+00:00

You won't get anywhere with her if she doesn't want to.

Aiadon · 2015-05-10T17:26:38+00:00

If you won't try to tell her that you want her to be in a LTR with her or otherwise make it obvious that that's what you're after, there's no reason for her to think that.

lasvegasfun · 2015-05-10T23:47:29+00:00

At some point you say something similar to this. "I'm not looking for anything serious." She then knows anything that happens will be fun and not serious. If she doesn't like it she can walk away, and you can find someone else who doesn't want anything serious.

2015-05-11T00:42:12+00:00

Be honest with her.

Say, "I like you and I want to be with you but I can't promise you anything more than this moment right now."

It's important to say "right now" because it implies that things may change in the future and that gets her hamster running and thinking that she can change you or win you and that's a good place for you to be.

AnonymousAutonomous · 2015-05-11T17:12:56+00:00

Dont over think, just go for it without promising anything more than you can deliver. Also, be careful with your sperm. There are plenty of girls that want to entrap a guy just because they dont think they can get anything better or because they have a case of the crazies. If she says something like "I want a relachionchip before we have sex" dont lie to get some, get up and go to the bathroom or something without saying a word so her first thought is you walking out/her losing you so she reconsiders her options. If its still a no, then its a no. Hit on some more girls on the way home, fuck it.

razirael · 2015-05-10T21:22:51+00:00

Going on a date tonight with a tinder girl. She's a bit on the bigger side, but her boobs are RIDICULOUS.

You described 90% of all tinder dates. Your standards will go up with repeated success.

However, honestly, I really don't think she's good enough to be in a relationship with. I really wanna get physical with her, but I REALLY don't want anything serious to come out of this.

What if she gets pregnant? Are you 100% sure she won't have your baby? Also if you are not attracted to her, why are you trying to "use her for sex"? That smells despair and lack of self respect. If you are attracted to her, why do you let the opinions of society affect who you choose to date? Lose lose situation here. "Good enough to be in relationship" : that sounds just like a nice guy AFC who settles for unattractive women and hates them for being his only options. You can only go wrong in this path. We aim to leave every woman better than we have found her. That's how a real man does.

We're gonna go have a picnic on the beach. I'm gonna try and initiate shit and make out.

You just want sex and no relationship, but you are taking her to a romantic picnic by the beach on your first date? That's courtship behavior yo. You are telling her "I want to be in relationship with you" with that shit while your motive is to fuck and forget. You are going to make your intentions clear however, making out at the picnic, and she will sense that you have been on a dry spell for 28 months. She might be extremely fat as you say (fat girls are like mopeds. Everybody rides them, nobody brags about it) and desperate too. But keep in mind she is matching a lot of guys on tinder too, she can have sex when she wants, unlike you. Don't put on the moves until you take her home, if you don't want to carry the shame of being rejected by a fat girl.

She friended me on Facebook though. I saw a video on her page she posted about some girl telling girls to watch out for scumbags who only want to use them for sex.(i.e watch out for 'ol /u/taiserlaser)

Because she is used to scumbags only using her for sex while pretending to like her because they are desperate AFC nice guys. Chances are they each gave her compliments and did nice things to get into her low self esteem pants, then thought "eww she is not good enough for relationship" and left her worse than they have found her. Reminds you of someone, OP?

When a guy tells her "I just want sex, no relationships" and doesn't kiss her ass or give her compliments and doesn't take her on picnics, she becomes his fuckbuddy and doesn't complain about him only wanting him for sex.

That and she seems to be really into me.

How many love poems and smileys did you send on tinder?.. That's just mean.. Tell her what's your intention. Being "fake nice" just for sex... I have self respect and I can't stomach doing that, but if you are justifying it with "she has great boobs" remember that it's just fat inside those, women store fat in their boobs. She doesn't have big breast, she has two small bellies above her real belly. Still want her for her boobs?

What the fuck do I do? Honestly I don't even really care about sex in this situation, I'd be content just making out and feeling her boobs.

Yeah.. Desperate, horny, no options. Chances are she will either fuck you and never see you again when you start acting like a douchebag once you get what you want, or she will find an excuse to get away from you as soon as you try to rape her on the beach.

DaygameCoach · 2015-05-10T18:24:01+00:00

Part of the problem is that you are framing this as "using her" when it takes two to tango. If you think you are doing the wrong thing...then you are. You do need to be clear on your intent so that you don't mislead/hurt her. I wrote an article on serious vs casual including screening:

http://www.daygamer.net/2012/07/06/how-to-get-the-right-girlguy-communication-skills-101/

enkae7317 · 2015-05-10T18:16:47+00:00

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rustoof · 2015-05-10T22:11:11+00:00

The emotions of another person are outside of your control. How much you decieve and manipulate is entirely up to your character, but everyone knows that sometimes they don't call you back.

WhosCountin · 2015-05-10T23:16:19+00:00

Make your intentions clear without being a crass dick about it. On my tinder dates, there was always a point in the conversation where we naturally talk about dating or what we're looking for, or even our life philosophy at the moment. I always would pitch myself as "just having fun" and "connecting with and enjoying people while I'm still young" and other stuff where I didn't say "I'm only looking for sex" (because, hey, hanging out with new people can be fun even if sex is the end goal), but it was clear I wasn't looking for a relationship. It never turned a girl off or made me unable to seal the deal, but if it did, I'd understand. I think in one case the girl did want more, but we became FWB and I never changed my tune.

I think I'm a decent person but not a great one. If a girl wants to hurt herself despite my honest warnings, I'm not going to stop her. If she wants to fuck a guy who isn't looking for anything serious then I'm happy to oblige.

2015-05-11T01:08:45+00:00

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finallygoingtopost · 2015-05-11T03:58:06+00:00

Shouldn't have set up as picnic on beach if just smashing. Just berr and movies does the trick for your purposes without sending mixed messages.

nora_2495 · 2015-05-11T05:20:54+00:00

Pshh i been on Tinder and I haven't fucked anyone on there. Went on a few dates, all were trash.

Llleblanc1986 · 2015-05-11T05:40:04+00:00

"I know you might wanna run from me for saying this, but I'm only capable of physical relationships right now"

2015-05-11T05:41:17+00:00

Avoid talking about feelings at all and do not open up to her. Escalate and see where it goes. If shes a prude, leave.

2015-05-11T18:14:33+00:00

If she's not a virgin it's not a big deal.

thekateruth · 2015-05-10T20:53:09+00:00

You want to "use" someone, as well as knowingly using them specifically for something they are against? Seriously dude?

What you do: be a fucking decent person. Tell her, "hey. I'm physically attracted to you, but I just am looking for a FWB situation. I completely understand if you're not cool with that, and totally respect that decision, but I think you're hot and pretty cool, and I definitely don't want to lead you on to think I want a relationship."

Then if she says yes, go have fun. Play with magnificent boobs. Enjoy her, and make sure she's enjoying you. If she says she isn't interested, tell her you enjoyed getting to know her a bit and wish her the best of luck. Don't try to change her mind. Just be nice, respectful, and move on.

Don't be the dick who knowingly makes a girl feel like trash because she's only good enough to fuck, and not care for.

caesarfecit · 2015-05-10T19:57:39+00:00

Simple, you let her chase you. If she's the one doing the chasing, then she's got no-one to blame if she throws herself at you.

Girls who say that kind of stuff say it because that's what scares them. They know they're very sexual and can't trust themselves around hot guys. So they insist guys should be chivalrous and respectful so she doesn't compromise herself.

So you get around that with some clever push-pull. Act like a perfect gentleman, even over the top in a deliberately silly way, then kino escalate or tell her how hot she looks in that dress with the sun just so, then back again. She'll inevitably start escalating on you, you return the favor then back off again. The key to these types of girls is use her repressed sexuality to your advantage by being non-needy and fun to get her guard down, hit her with a tactful and low-key dose of sexual desire, then back off again. Girls who are more sexually open need an aggressive escalation first, then the takeaway - otherwise they get bored and think you're lame. The key with the repressed girls is to escalate just enough to stimulate after she's relaxed but before she feels totally validated.

japko · 2015-05-10T22:00:24+00:00

Let me just say, that there are many not-so-helpful replies in this thread. I myself have been wondering about OP's issue, and sure - the best option is to make your intentions clear. But that's easier said than done! The question is how? And when?

I can't imagine myself telling a girl "oh, btw, I'm only here for the sex".

jonnyhaldane · 2015-05-11T07:34:19+00:00

Never feel bad for just wanting sex. It's what we're built for. Women are biologically set up to seek an emotional connection. Men are built to just want sex initially. We're all just looking after our own interests.

My advice would be just to flirt like a madman with her and try and avoid creating any emotional connection. The way to do that is to not talk about personal stuff. Keep it light and flirty and fun.

However, at some point you have to be honest and say what you want. Sooner rather than later.

Title	Uh..How do I ..use a girl for sex without hurting her?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	22
Comments	38
Date	May 10, 2015 5:11 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/35i8y9/uhhow_do_i_use_a_girl_for_sex_without_hurting_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/uhhow-do-i-use-a-girl-for-sex-without-hurting-her.1294257 https://theredarchive.com/post/1294257

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