I shut down in parties + trouble escalating

nittutt · 2013-01-10T15:49:24+00:00

Don't think about escalation at the moment. Focus on having fun. Go out, talk to people. When you get comfortable, and i mean REALLY comfortable with talking to anyone you see then you should move on to the seduction part.

I know many disagree with this "progression chart", but it's what i have found to be most successful with my "students" (friends / friends of friends that come to me for help). It helps them be a more social and fun guy, and afterwords they get them girls.

booya_kasha · 2013-01-10T17:51:36+00:00

Have a drink or two to loosen up, but DON'T GET DRUNK

FlashAttack · 2013-01-10T18:23:09+00:00

Normally, I wouldn't openly advocate for RSD. But in this case, I say: 'Dude, go to youtube, type in: Rsdfreetour/rsdtyler,... And wat h some of those vids. I found their advice really helpful in those situations.

Remember that what you think is awkward, is actually less awkward and what you think is less awkward is actually more awkward. Ex: standing against the wall = less awkward in your perspective, but it's actually more awkward because you're just standing there while everyone around you is dancing, flirting and socializing. Straighten up lil soldier!

brokendimension · 2013-01-11T04:09:00+00:00

"Yes I'm a boss"

I laughed, sorry.

ImJustAMan · 2013-01-10T17:51:22+00:00

Get out of your own head and have some fun with it! First step is to get comfortable talking to everyone. Put yourself out there and just say hi, improvement will come.

KaptainKid · 2013-01-10T17:55:01+00:00

The guys you see going around getting the make outs, I guarantee they are in the same boat as you. At least feelings wise. The reason they're getting the make outs is because they have confidence.

Be confident in yourself. Worry about the present when you're talking and approaching. Thinking about an F-close is just going to make you more nervous. Take it one step at a time.

After you've attracted her attention, look for IOI's (indicators of interest). After you've seen a couple, ask her to talk somewhere a little more quiet (something along those lines.) If she's showing interest, initiate some kino and ask her for the kiss. If she says no, so what? You respect that or comeback with a witty response and move on.

Rejection is just a reaction. Don't let it put a dent in your confidence. If a girl shuts you down and you show that it didn't even phase you, she will notice and see that. This may attract her later on, or for her to see you talking with other girls with just as much confidence.

Go out and just worry about having fun. Good luck!

puaCurveBall · 2013-01-10T15:59:09+00:00

Read more and practice more. Your questions are too vague to give good answers to.

Check the top posts, check the sidebar, practice it.

RedErin · 2013-01-11T15:04:46+00:00

Dance.

2013-01-11T16:04:48+00:00

Just be an obnoxious fuck, honestly. This is the best tactic at skanky college house parties.

Try to one-up everyone all the time, at everything they do. Just take everything around you as a challenge that you need to rise to. Go ape shit when you succeed, and laugh at yourself when you fail.

Some guy makes out with a random girl? Just grab another girl, pick her up off the ground in your arms, then make out with her and just drop her on a couch and walk away.
Line for the bathroom? Open a window and piss out of it.
Smuggle full-size bottles of liquor in with you and just walk around with them. Fuck a solo cup.
Carry a black Crayola marker and start drawing shit on girls.
Peacock your ass off. I strung a dildo onto some mardi gras beads one time and wore it like a big necklace. I was hitting girls in the cheek with it, etc. Shits funny.

Just be a big douche. Ask girls if they want to fuck in the coat closet. Constantly talk about how incredibly homosexual you are and how much you love dongs, whatever. It's all about taking "agree and amplify" to another level, but you don't even wait for anyone to do anything, so there's no "agree", you're just in "amplify" mode 110% of the time.

2013-01-12T05:17:31+00:00

What you're describing sounds like you're being overstimulated. Yes, this is a real thing!

Sometimes a person can freeze up when overstimulated like that. It's something you can rewire with time and effort, but why work any harder than you have to? If the loud and shiny atmosphere is shutting you down instead of amping you up, get the hell out of there!

If you're more comfortable working your magic in less energetic environments, by all means do it! So long as you can get in their heads and lead their emotions, you can seduce anywhere!

seanbez · 2013-01-10T19:47:40+00:00

I have a slightly different approach. If a girl gives it up that easily and to some guy in a club, do you really want to be a number in the queue?

I always played it like this. go with some buddies, ensure you stay sober (a drink or 2 is fine but keep your senses sharp). Laugh at jokes, smile lots, but play the quiet type. If a girl notices you when you just happy and relaxed, say hi. but whatever you do don't expect to make out there and then unless she pushes you.

If she asks, you are just looking for someone intelligent and nice to talk to. you enjoy the music but can't get over how people get drunk and just do anything.

It will set you apart from the rest and if she bites she is going to be a good choice of friend. but chances are good it will progress to something more.

the saying good guys finish last is untrue. we finish less often then bad boys but we end up with better girls. quality over quantity.

Rangourthaman_ · 2013-01-10T17:09:35+00:00

Take it one step at a time, concentrate on trying to feel comfortable in these situations for a while, you have all the info in the sidebar on that plus scour the internet for a bit of info on the topic.

No one can give you a straight answer on this since you are your own person with your own ways. Just don't try to fake it, try to figure out how to get genuinely relaxed in these situations.

purpleblazed · 2013-01-10T22:36:51+00:00

touch touch touch. Nowhere that leads to a harassment lawsuit, but dont be afraid to touch. All mammals seem to enjoy touching by others to some degree, humans are no different. Frazzle hair, knock peoples hats off, join in conversations by huddling people. Tap people you recognize on the shoulder when you want their attention, hug everyone when you see them and say goodbye. Be sure to read comfort levels for people to make sure you dont go too far though.

Also learn to ask questions. In context, out of context. You can be the most boring person in the world, but if you can ask the right questions, you will entertain someone and leave a good impression; you'll probable leave the conversation knowing more about someone, more about conversating, or more about the world.

Draet · 2013-01-10T23:21:13+00:00

You're just a beta. You are jealous and afraid (at least subconsciously) of other dudes that get chicks.

It's not about a 'game' plan. It's either you show an air of dominance or not.

Just pretty annoying to hear kids say 'I'm a PUA bro, you gotta neg hit and then go for the kill'...

Just act like the chick's a fucking person and not some type of animal you're going to prey upon. Talk like you would normally, and get ripped.

I say get ripped first, because real confidence comes from either money, guaranteed female satisfaction with one's body, or a gun on your holster.

Title	I shut down in parties + trouble escalating
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	70
Comments	43
Date	January 10, 2013 3:41 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/16bfxh/i_shut_down_in_parties_trouble_escalating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-shut-down-in-parties-trouble-escalating.1301955 https://theredarchive.com/post/1301955

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