Holla back if you follow exactly what I'm saying here.

It's a Friday or a Saturday evening. You're at home, in your room, whatever, watching TV or playing games on your PC or lurking Reddit. At some point in time, a thought interrupts your activities: you think about all the people in the world, all the frat boys and the clubbers and the bad boys getting laid with the most tasty women, and you think back to yourself. And you wonder why you're not there, why you aren't them, why you're still at home.

This thought has bludgeoned my sleep time and time again. It's a lot like that Simple Plan song that we've all heard before back when we were kids and listening to whiny teenagers bitch about their lives was alright.

And maybe when the night is dead, I'll crawl into my bed
Staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time, I had a good time Everyone's got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own and here it goes

I know it's just a pattern of negativity that builds up to these thoughts but god damn it if they aren't crippling to us as individuals, and how right they seem. It's like a big cycle: you feel bad for yourself and so you put yourself down, and because you feel worthless, it's hard to find others that will accept you. Meanwhile, the fuckers, high on MDMA, are bouncing around the club, getting blown in washrooms, are in a similar, more positive pattern: the feel good, and therefore they are good to themselves.

It's a bit of a rant, I know. And I know I'm still not off my depression. But god damn are these thoughts crippling.