From beta to PUA, couple of pieces of advice seddit doesn't want to hear.

SemanticsLogistics · 2012-05-01T21:53:06+00:00

Let me start by saying I agree with most of your points here. Once you reach a certain level of success, you realize there are plenty of nuances and exceptions to every "rule" and dogma you read here. Sometimes buying a girl a drink is a gentlemanly thing to do and girls find it super sexy, especially when you do it unprompted and with an air of because it's what you want to do, not because you expect anything back.

However, in seddit's defense, I would say you are broadly overgeneralizing some things. Yes, people say looks don't matter, but there are tons and tons of posts every week about making sure you take care of yourself and groom yourself properly, which is what you're suggesting.

As for number 2, I think the advice of not buying girls drinks is generally to defend a newbie from going broke with nothing to show because he thinks buying girls drinks will always make them more into him.

And finally for number 3, the cocky funny thing is generally to help build confidence I believe, and a lot of people are attracted to it. However, TofuTofu has a fantastic post on calibration that explains that not every girl goes for cocky funny. While I've never been a fan of definitive personality profiles, it does do a fair job of explaining the fact that people ARE different and some people ARE attracted to different personality traits.

Edit: To summarize, a lot (I would say probably 95% or so) of the advice here is aimed at the earliest of beginners. It is helpful to have easy, simple, and generally effective rules for them to remember. As you get them down and get better, you tend to figure out the nuances on your own, but trying to explain these to a guy who has never introduced himself to a random girl is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a 6th grader who just learned about the atom.

TurningItIntoASnake · 2012-05-02T00:34:03+00:00

When people say looks don't matter, what they really mean is having a negative view of your own looks won't help you get laid. Don't waste time dwelling over the things you can't fix. I don't think anyone here is ignorant enough to actually believe looks play no role in seduction, but I do agree that this line could be articulated in a better fashion.

squarehouse · 2012-05-02T02:34:46+00:00

The best part about teaching cocky-funny here is that I learned to start turning off self-deprecating humor, which was most of what my humor consists of. I didn't realize what effect that really had on people. I got laughs, sure, but too much of it and it was at my expense.

reph · 2012-05-02T05:06:29+00:00

James Bond could hold a purse and it wouldn't make him any less attractive.

Maybe, but, James Bond would never hold a purse. At least not for a woman he isn't already boning.

TofuTofu · 2012-05-02T15:16:48+00:00

Your whole post can be summed up with one word: calibration.

Calibration is knowing how to adapt to different situations, environments and people.

2012-05-02T09:11:26+00:00

I thought it was fairly obvious that most advice here isn't necessarily about what works best, it's about having the right attitude and behaviour. Feeling anxious about your looks doesn't help, always opening with "Hey, let me buy you a drink" doesn't help, and faking being cocky is easier than actually just being comfortable. The advice here isn't necessarily true or ideal, but people who listen to it get good results early on, and then can learn the real stuff themselves.

Basically, I think this post is harmful. People who are already as analytic as I am already figured this out, and have a tougher ride because of it. This post means that other beginners who might have found it easier to adopt the helpful attitudes will now find it harder. I'm not saying you should delete this, but do think things through a little more fully.

2012-05-02T13:14:58+00:00

You can always buy a round of drinks or two if you're trying to get a girl to loosen up a bit. I find it helps with the ones who aren't laughing as much at my jokes as I'd like. Add a drink or two and we're having a great time.

But rule of thumb- if a girl asks for a drink, she's not into you, she's into drinks.

Dogfight1 · 2012-05-02T13:36:15+00:00

You mentioned tonality, and I'm presuming you mean tone of voice... I think my tone speaks low confidence and the likes. Is there any way to change it?

2012-05-02T13:47:36+00:00

Looking at your up/downvote ratio, I think you are misinformed about what "seddit doesn't want to hear."

Also, the word harem makes me uncomfortable, and I have a girlfriend and a fuckbuddy who sleep with each other.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2012-05-02T14:27:24+00:00

This is why the most important aspect of seduction is inner game. If you're comfortable with yourself, you can go out and have fun, see women as equals, get to know them as human beings, talk to them, be overtly sexual without being ashamed of it, and form real connections with them. Different approaches work differently on different girls.

But most beginners don't want to hear about inner game. They want concrete advice they can use right away. So they get canned stuff like looks don't matter, don't buy her the first drink, and be cocky / funny. These work in the short run, but in the long run, you have to master inner game to really make pickup effortless.

tazzydnc · 2012-05-02T15:37:12+00:00

Spot on. I'm far from a PUA but everything you've said jibes with my own experiences out in the field. Too many people in Seddit I think get too caught up in the dogma to see what's really going on. I really think the cocky funny is best used once it's evident the girl definitely wants you.

Soupertramp · 2012-05-02T03:05:11+00:00

Excellent point on buying girls drinks. My brother is one of the biggest "naturals" I know, and he always pays for everything. I asked him why, and he said, "Because I'm the man. I take care of her, not the other way around." Of course, he's also super confident/funny/fearless/alpha. The moral? Don't beg with drinks, don't buy affection; instead, work them into an already dominant frame.

snakethegreat · 2012-05-02T13:24:15+00:00

2=.... never... the communication is: " I need to buy your attention",

or at least sweeten the pot.

switch50 · 2012-05-02T14:56:00+00:00

I liked number 2, sir.

switch50 · 2012-05-02T14:57:46+00:00

So after reading three, would you suggest a method of learning to differentiate persona styles for different women and learning to recognize it in game (alpha,funny, vs. maybe reserved, talks to the point )

rmbarnes · 2012-05-02T21:17:05+00:00

One of the best posts in a while.

dantaeos · 2012-05-02T22:40:33+00:00

"1-2 new girls a month." "I'm a PUA".

LOL. You beast.

Squand · 2012-05-02T02:42:40+00:00

A friend told me: If you are playing a game on a regular basis, using only one strategy is a losing strategy.

2012-05-02T00:10:39+00:00

From PUA to PUA ... of course you are right. For instance, i've had tons of people tell me you can't get a number in a minute. Well ...

video

Title	From beta to PUA, couple of pieces of advice seddit doesn't want to hear.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	112
Comments	31
Date	May 1, 2012 9:00 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/t23ir/from_beta_to_pua_couple_of_pieces_of_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/from-beta-to-pua-couple-of-pieces-of-advice-seddit.1332051 https://theredarchive.com/post/1332051

Comments

2=.... never... the communication is: " I need to buy your attention",